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Why white men love the black woman

Posted by James, 31 Aug

Ever wondered why some white guys, love black women so much?

It seems that being a white male and proclaiming your attraction to black women (not only sexually, but also romantically) may lead to a lot of controversial and dangerous things. Let’s leave the debate of why more black women may be opening themselves up to white guys. The main focus of this debate is: why some white guys are opening themselves to black women. Let’s concentrate on that.

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Most white males don’t feel like they are running short of white women to marry. White males just marry at high rates. So question is: Why black women? The thing is it will not be fair to bundle up black women as one since everyone is their own person… be it in appearance or personality.

However, one thing that a white male friend of mine said… and I let him get away with bundling it all up is: “We love a black woman's confidence, her tenacity and her undeniable achievements in the face of great adversity...᾿ Since this info was coming from a man, there was definitely the mention of the lips, the curves, and that wonderful skin as well.

So what about stereotypes like “black women are either sexually conservative or total sluts?" Many people give so much lip service to interracial dating sites. You would think they have never done it. But those uptight individuals are the ones that spread these stereotypes. What happened to the highly educated black woman? How about the caring, decent and involved black woman?

Probably most white guys and others are confused with the stereotypical trash people spread around and if you are one that falls for such lame ol’ lines, then you sure as hell haven’t dated a black woman.

Bottom line, you don't have to sacrifice who you are for a white guy. They will love you anyway. Just be you and open yourself up… and if you like white guys, some white guy will find you too.

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8097 responses to "Why white men love the black woman"

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  1.   Teesa says:
    Posted: 19 Feb 10

    Intelligent conversions...The Best!

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  2.   Teesa says:
    Posted: 19 Feb 10

    Hard to stay away.. I couldn't help but keep reading. Well...definitely a change compared to the previous discussion. Alot Better. More grown-up if you know what I mean.

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  3.   Looking says:
    Posted: 18 Feb 10

    Well another fine day here in Killeen. I've been single for 7 yrs now. SWM, 47, 6'2". 190lbs,retired army, and in the past couple yrs I've started looking for a wife again. You know what ? They are all psycho's out there. If you dont have the build of Arnold Schwazznegger, the bank account of Donald Trump and the looks of Denzel Washington ,, they dont want anything to do with you. Lets not forget I have to have a master or doctorate degree also with a income of no less then $250,000 a year. Yes, thats what I've been told by women. Christian women. Who are willing to goto to bed with me befor marriage, have liberal beliefs such as pro-abortion, gay rights, homosexual marriage, there are may paths that lead to God, and the list goes on. When asked what about your beliefs in what the bible says and about Jesus ,, Oh um, well,, God loves everyone and I believe if it makes people happy its ok. Where are all the real christian women ? Besides the ones that are married, or not interested ? Where are the REAL women of God who dont comprimise thier hearts, minds and bodies just for the sake of "love" but truely desire that "Man after God's own heart" ? Who love Jesus, are praying for that man of God to come into thier life and be the man ? "Where are you women at !?!?!" Id love to meet a black woman who is tall(5'8"-6'6"), intelligent, attractive, down to earth, funny, witty, easy going, 35-45, petite/slender/avergae/few pounds, single, wants a serious life-long MARRIAGE, and has a love for Jesus, prays, reads the bible, plays, jokes, in sexy, sensual, out going. If you're out there, Im here and looking ,,,

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  4.   bigeyes31 says:
    Posted: 18 Feb 10

    I have to agree with salsassin and godiva. lvRre4Ebonee you are not a compliment to me as a black woman. You have a hyper-sexualized view of black women and intelligent black women wouldn't give you second thought.

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  5.   godiva61 says:
    Posted: 18 Feb 10

    @IvRre4Ebonee, I don't know your true intention's to have black women, or a black woman in your life, but for ME, your comments were NOT flattering, and somewhat INSULTING! Flirting is one thing, stereotyping while flirting is INSULTING!!!! godiva

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  6.   MzBrOwNSuGaR says:
    Posted: 18 Feb 10

    LOL @ IvRe4Eboneee Getting eye contact huh... Sounds like you just a flirt. Lol!!!!

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  7.   Gibby3 says:
    Posted: 18 Feb 10

    Re:Comments by Boots and Salsassin I think you both are giving us all an open minded debate on interracial dating.We all educate one another from our own unique awareness of history, and contemporary issues. Maybe, this vicious circle of simple hateful reasoning that does exist will break one day , and just as each one of us can sit down with our own elders and maintain respect,and admiration while conversing,we may extend this to others different than ourselves in all ways ie.., love between two regardless of outward appearances. Keep it going............. both of you. Gibby3

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  8.   Salsassin says:
    Posted: 18 Feb 10

    Now see, this guy, he sounds like a guy that dates a "type" and is a fetishist. And something tells me ge is an Italian American, not an Italian. IMHO

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  9.   IvRe4Eboneee says:
    Posted: 18 Feb 10

    I am an itallian male, whom has always found a woman of color turn me on like no other. When I walk through airports I make it my business to make eye contact with every black woman that passes by. I want them to look at me. I want to smile at them, and make them feel at that instantanious moment that I was taken by them. There are so many things that I love about black women, because ALL of my white friends continue to ask, or wonder why I can look at a thick sista and admit that she is delicious. It is the way they take so much pride in creativity with your looks, your hair,(Even if it does come in a plastic bag, it is the confidence of knowing that those pants may be a little too tight or the shirt showing off a little too much, but you have the attidude of "so". I love the way you taste, the way your toes curl when I devote my linguistic abilities on you... I gotta stop, this is getting to be a bit too much.

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  10.   e-dub says:
    Posted: 17 Feb 10

    Dear Boots; I feel sorry for you and I'll pray for you. I'll never be able convince you that interracial relationships are a good thing (quite often) so I'm not even going to try.

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  11.   Salsassin says:
    Posted: 17 Feb 10

    No sorry, violence is only compared in a lifetime. If not I can draw into 800 years of Moorish opression. No, you can experience what you had from childhood and the experiences of your parents. Period. The violence today is today.

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  12.   Salsassin says:
    Posted: 17 Feb 10

    Isolated acts of violence that are much more prevalent Black towards White than White towards Black. No we can't compare it to various state policies against Blacks. There never was a federal policy. Laws for or against Blacks, or Afrodescendants in general varied by state. At one point in time, in Ohio, having one White parent made you White. In the south slavery was matrilineal, so having a Black slave father was not enslaving, but having a slave mother, Black or White was. And yes, there were White slaves. Many Irish women were condemned to slavery, and later many indentured servants (many kidnapped) were then placed in de facto slavery by constantly expanding the debt. So while the vast majority were Afrodescendants,the claim that Eurodescent people did not experience slavery in the Americas is false. All my facts are checkable. Boots can make claims of fact, but they don't hold water. I'll wait for him to provide evidence of a federal law of enslavement of all Blacks in the US. And his claims of knowledge of Native American enslavement are laughable at best. In fact, many Natives ended up in Morrocan slave blocks. The triangle trade didn't just keep Native Americans on this continent.

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  13.   boots says:
    Posted: 17 Feb 10

    and further......if you really want to talk about crimes blk on white white on blk ...we can do that, but, wherer we going 2 start ...well I know you want to start 30 yrs back but to get a good understanding we must go back at least 1900 forward.......

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  14.   boots says:
    Posted: 17 Feb 10

    sorry.....free blks shall not be permitted

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  15.   boots says:
    Posted: 17 Feb 10

    To salssasin....... no Iam not in favor of blk men or any men using sex as some type of cultural experiment.regarding racism you may define racism any way u wish ..however my definition goes beyond your list of horrible accounts of race based violence.Do you really believe there would be innocent whites killed or zebra murders etc, if there had not been some racial baggage in the first place, a first cause so to speak...BEFORE U TAKE OFF! LET ME SAY....I DONT CONDONE EVIL DOERS BLK OR WHITE THEY SHOULD ALL BE PUNISHED THEY ARE MONSTERS .BUT isolated acts of violence directed toward whites cannot be compared to... A NATIONAL PUBLIC POLICY ON BLK PEOPLE... the doctrine of racial superiority that legitimized the exclusion and segregation of blks from the mainstream white society....In 1638 the first public edit or policy against blks was issued by the MARYLAND COLONIAL ASSEMBLY.."free blks nor their offspring shall be permitted to enjoy the fruits of white society" this was the start of segregation and Jim Crowism ...(white over blacks)(new york:w.w norton and co...Wintrop D.JORDAN 1968 p72..Later in 1665 all the existing colonies enacted laws to enslave blks. The Maryland colonies original edict was expanded into a public policy on blks "black people shall constitute an available uncompensated noncompetitive well -disciplined permanently subordinated work force which shall be separated from the white society"....In 1667 ENGLAND passed a law called "ACT TO REGULATE THE NEGROES ON BRITISH PLANTATIONS"...it regulated the slave trade ,introduced the concept of blks as personal property with strict and severe treatment of slaves.In 1705 VIRGINIA passed laws called THE SLAVE CODES..all these laws put forth the doctrine of expendability, slaves could be branded whipped or killed,also the doctrine of noninterference which kept the church from granting any freedom if slaves converted to Christianity.In 1787 the founding fathers incorporated this public policy on blks into the the U.S Constitution...My point in giving you all this historical data ...(I encourage any reader to fact check every thing I have said here)...is that when u hear Salssasin..Lo85..or anybody tell you that.. the Irish were slaves the Native Americans were slaves, there was indentured servitude etc nothing was comparable or made permanent as was blk slavery so u can just laugh at the both of them when they just throw statements around as if we r morons .. that's it 4 now ,need a little time to respond to all that info on mulattos creoles......cant wait

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  16.   Salsassin says:
    Posted: 17 Feb 10

    Boots, that is another subject altogether. I can't stand guys who date to "sow their wild oats", "experience the exotic", or have a "flavor fetish". In that sense, I tend to look with some skepticism at people who frequent these sites obsessed with dating only guys of some other group. I can understand a taste, to some degree. But so called "racial tastes" sit at odds with me. Human variation is so great in each ethnicity, I just can't see any claim that one likes ALL women of one group, over ALL women of another, as anything but fetishism. Then you aren't dating a person, but a type. And when you choose to only date a group outside your own, there is either fetishism, self-hate, or some disgruntlement at your own people for you to write out all people of the opposite gender of that group. In that sense, I would agree with some Black men who state that Black women who date exclusively outside their group (vs dating the spectrum for the best man available) just have been dating the wrong sub groups in their own community and thus are doing a skewed comparison. Of course, at times there are misogynistic trends in some ethnic groups that mean that there is a smaller pool of males who will treat a woman as an equal. Sites like this, basically serve a valid purpose because many women who do want to explore the spectrum, find that White males are shyer to approach an African American woman, because of the historical antagonism in this country. Not as much with females of the Afrodiaspora in other countries. There isn't as strong a sense of "betrayal to the cause" so to speak. But so long as the African American females keep their eyes open for good African American men as well, I see nothing wrong with them exploring other options. If anything, I would tell them to be extra careful, because a lot of White men on these sites are in it for the "thrills", or fetishists. They may be looking for the stereotype, not the individual. I think multicultural events are MUCH better places for encountering men of all backgrounds in common interests. Meetup.com is a great site to meet like minded people regardless of ethnicity, for example. White men who are exploring the spectrum also have a valid reason to visit these sites, but my concern is them "exotifying" women. Date the individual not the type. Again, activity based sites are usually better than sites like these, because you seek like minds, not preconceived notions. Just my opinion. As for Black racism being reactionary, so is Euro-racism. Intolerance is a cyclical process. A vicious circle. For Europeans it began with their countries being conquered and them having to fight to recuperate them. Spain went through 800 years of being a conquered nation. Abused children many times become abusers. Sometimes even worse than the one that abused them. Until we learn to fight all hate and prejudice, the circle will just continue.

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  17.   boots says:
    Posted: 16 Feb 10

    To salssasin....... no Iam not in favor of blk men or any men using sex as some type of cultural experiment...you may define racism any way u wish ..however my definition goes beyond your list of horrible accounts ,of race based violence.Do you really believe there would be innocent whites killed or zebra murders etc if ther had not been some racial baggage in the first placea first cause so to speak...BEFORE U TAKE OFF! LET ME SAY....I DONT CONDONE EVIL DOERS BLK OR WHITE

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  18.   mecca77 says:
    Posted: 16 Feb 10

    okay laurelton thats true we know our history . study on interaccial marriages in the united states. yes i am not in denial about racism . i feel it when i go apply for work or in my community. which is prodominitely white. but more hispanic and indian have live here for now 20 yrs in baltimore county. most of the whites come from southern baltimore country. and penn. and virginia . need i say more. but all in all. see idle mind is the devil workshop. people who sit on their fat asses , all day and watch and try to run us out of the community are powerless. and they hate it. !! that shit does not fly. no one gives a flying f--ck , i do not know why people think they can still pull that old KKK tatic and get away with it. time warp!!

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  19.   mecca77 says:
    Posted: 16 Feb 10

    brandy your a wise young man keep being that way. you seem like a young man that likes his self first of all . because beauty comes in all colors.

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  20.   Member says:
    Posted: 16 Feb 10

    This seems like an interesting discussion. The history channel showed a documentary called "Slave catchers". I can't remember the complete title. However, I watched it and was surprised by many things. Number 1 This idea that all slave owners whipped their slaves and mistreated them on a daily basis. There was brutally during slavery. However, most slave owners wanted to treat their slaves good to keep them "productive". You have to remember by the 1800's I think. The slaves outnumbered the slave owners nearly 4 to 1. During the civil war, they enticed slaves to run to the North with the promise of freedom. They claim it was close to 30,000 slaves running away daily or weekly during the Civil War. The British did the same thing before the Civil War. Unfortunately, the slaves were not successful in helping the British overthrow "Americans". That is left out of "American History books". The American Revolution was not 'kind" to black slaves. There were so many slaves leaving the "South" during the Civil War, they didn't have enough confederate soldiers to stop them. "Private citizens" had to discourage the slaves from running. There was an interesting story by a white woman being "dismayed" that her "old male slave" leaving. I guess he "raised her" when the Plantation "owner" was away. She was distraught and confused about the whole thing. The accounts were so delusional. It was something like " I can't believe George would run and leave us". We can always talk about "history on paper". But people have to understand the context of slavery and how "people lived". It is sort of like "being used" to something and than you're subjected to a whole new "way of life". Slavery was accepted so long in the "South", that "morality" was replaced with "necessity and survival". George Washington and Andrew Jackson had slaves. They admit it "was wrong" and a "peculiar institution". They sure didn't free any of their slaves. LOL You had lower class white man they made a living "catching slaves". We call them "bounty hunters" today. A big market for years. You had "white men who raised dogs to hunt slaves". You had the "free labor of slaves". You had the overseer, who made a living "directing" slaves. Don't forget the agriculture business of cotton and etc. After Lincoln emancipated the slaves and the Civil War was over with, many slaves became "indentured servants". Capitalism took over. Basically, after this period you had "angry whites" terrorizing blacks. They blamed Lincoln but took out their "anger" on black people. During Emancipation, black slaves managed to start businesses, schools and etc. The South liked to keep their slaves "illiterate" for good reason. The "white people" who had the money, didn't want those "poor whites" turning on them. Plus, they never liked "blacks" anyway, condoned this violence. In conclusion, The past never really changes. There is going to be a "strong segment" of struggling white people who dislike minorities and feel their jobs are being take away.Even middle class white people " feel" blacks are a "protected class". They may not say it but they have "implied it". They still have a powerful vote in this country. When people say "oh racism does not exist". Society is based on race and class. I wouldn't even call it racism because you would "literally" have to be able to stop a "group of people" from getting opportunities. I call it prejudice.

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  21.   Salsassin says:
    Posted: 16 Feb 10

    Sorry bub, not White, but my mother is. And I don't let morons like you disrespect her just because you think someone that looked like her was oppressing you during Jim Crow. I'm glad you finally are learning the word "Some". Yes some Native Americans owned land, slaves, and a lot of other things. SO did some Blacks. SOme of them were even stereotyped as warriors on coins, while they were forced into schools to "Whiten" them (read act European and then pawned off as servants), much like the lost generation in Australia. Yes I am very familiar with the abuses that have occured world wide. That was my focus during college. Inter ethnic conflict and exploitation. But I keep my hate for the perps and never generalize it to a look. Again, I know you lived through Jim Crow. So Malcolm X. Yet he changed his mentality once he traveled abroad, beyond Jim Crow. You are still enslaved in Jim Crow mentality, even though the rest of the world moved on.

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  22.   boots says:
    Posted: 16 Feb 10

    coming up that is...spelling is important

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  23.   boots says:
    Posted: 16 Feb 10

    To Gibby3.....Please dont get me wrong, when I make any reference to native americans and how they have suffered in this country its always with great respect to what they have gone through..But whites like Salsassin always want to minimize the suffering of blks by making this comparison with native americans. How could any thinking person not understand that native americans did suffer,when this entire place belonged to them at one time..... I stand by the facts that I stated... some Native Amercan owned slaves .....were given land ...were allowed marraige to whites etc etc...remember the Indian head nickel...white society had much respect for their culture...not so with blks........anyway my beef is not with Native Americans....... Salsassin.....I got a response 4 u ....comming up.....btw Iam gald you read your history books...got to run 4 now

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  24.   Salsassin says:
    Posted: 16 Feb 10

    Boots, you make me laugh. But I bet you are in favor of black men having the privilege, of being able to sexually navigate through all cultures of women, including white, unfettered, and without opposition. You don’t stand in anyone’s way. You are just an anachronism making a buzz on the side. On to your claim that there is no such thing as black racism in this country that is the dumbest shit you have said yet. I don’t give a shyte if you claim it is retaliatory. If someone whoops you and then you go beat up anyone that looks like him, you are being racist. Unless you can prove all Whites are racist and have3 perpetrated racism, you are categorizing them all by race and being prejudiced against them. That is the definition of racism. I could care less if you have the power to do INSTITUTIONAL racism, you have the power to do personal racism, and you can do regional racism as well, in places where Blacks are the majority. The murders of innocent White people for no reason, like in the case of Wichita massacre, the Zebra murders, the murder of the Pietrzak couple, the attacks and murder of Latino immigrants, the attacks on Asians, all show full capacity of Blacks to be racist. The systematic attack by Black gangs targeting White and Latino males in Denver shows you can be racist. And to have enough power to act on it. But unlike you, I blame those racists and others with their mentality (read you) for their own acts, and I don’t juxtapose it onto every Black person. My Black cousins don’t have an ounce of the poison that festers in you. You can excuse your hate by claiming that you have antipathy for those who raped and abused your mothers, sisters and brothers, but you have yet to show one shred of evidence all Whites have done so. You also ignore the fact that many Whites were oppressed alongside Blacks, like Irish slaves and later indentured servitude, and much of their ancestry runs in African American veins. In fact, genetics has shown that about 40% of the European genetic contribution to the African American population came from women. So where these women raping your male ancestors? In fact, since colonialism there has been a steady record of a percentage of White men and women who have always been willing to risk all consequences and marry Black people. Some even changing their identity to Mulatto to avoid anti miscegenation laws. As for your cries of the past. Like I said, you are an anachronism. One that ignores the fact that today, Black on White violent crime is more than that of White on Black crime, in every similar criminal field. 12% of the population and yet percentage wise, much higher. Part is due to past abuses. Anthony Walsh explores it in “Race and crime: a biosocial analysis”. But criminals are still criminals and you can’t excuse them for past abuses. We don’t excuse the child molester for being molested as a kid, and we sure don’t excuse him if his mother or father were molested, not even him. Even in sociopathic crime, i.e. serial killings, the Black community, surprisingly has a higher percentage per capita. African Americans and Serial Killing in the Media, The Myth and the Reality, also by Anthony Walsh. You talk about a few Blacks that were slave owners. Oh it was much more than a few, Booty, Gens de Colour, were quite a few in number and owned quite a few slaves. They were also the first to oppose Black rights in SC, which led to Jim Crow. Their own monster devoured them; they helped feed along with Whites. Many people say mulattos were house slaves. No, lighter skinned slaves did not have it better, but what is true, is not that mulattoes were always house slaves, but that many Mulattoes owned the slave houses. They were slave masters themselves. Relatively few slave owning Southerners saw themselves as Black. Those few lived in the Upper South (Virginia mostly, but some could also be found in North Carolina and Maryland). The best source about those few slave owners who saw themselves as members of the African-American community is probably Carter Godwin Woodson, Free Negro Owners of Slaves in the United States in 1830, Together with Absentee Ownership of Slaves in the United States in 1830 (New York: Negro Universities Press, 1968). The bulk of antebellum slave owners who acknowledged partial African ancestry lived in the lower South (South Carolina, Florida, and the Gulf Coast). But these did not consider themselves Black. Biracial South Carolina slave owners considered themselves "Mulattos," not "Black" nor "African American." Biracial Florida slave owners considered themselves "Blanco/Blanca" (White), neither “Black” nor "African-American," despite acknowledging African ancestors. And Gulf coast biracial slave owners considered themselves "Creoles de Coleour" (Coloured), neither Black nor African American. Ironically, the richest slave owner in Florida was not mulatto though. She was a pure bred African born Wolof woman, Anna Madgigine Jai Kingsley, who came from slave trader society in Africa. Because Africa practiced slavery as well. But what is most important, is that, in the same way there were Black perpetrators of abuse, there were Whites who were not. But you will stereotype them all with a broad-brush stroke. As to your comments on Native Americans. What deluded world do you live in? No not all Natives were free to relocate. In fact, Indians were also enslaved and may worked to death. Many were moved so much that they lost knowledge as to what tribes they came from. Most Latin American “mestizos” or “indios” have no clue what their ancestry is, and they are still on the same continent. They can’t look with longing to a mythical past in far off Africa; they are still oppressed in their own lands. Many come to the US searching for better opportunities and are exploited here. Many are Afro indigenous and are exploited here. In fact, here in Atlanta, African Americans exploit them just as much as by Euro-Americans. Not only are they the objects of attacks, as criminals from the Black community constantly victimize them, but they are also scorned and looked down upon. Usually their stature is much less because of central American native heritage, and many African Americans now treat them like Euro-American oppressors used to treat them. So spare me the claim that Black had or have it worse than Native Americans. In the US, African Americans have grown in population heavily; in contrast, Native Americans have seen their populations decimated. Blacks experienced a holocaust in the US. No doubt. But so did Native Americans, and their claim of genocide is much more legit.

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  25.   Gibby3 says:
    Posted: 16 Feb 10

    To Boots Re: 15Feb2010 My mother was Chippewa/Ojibway. She was responsible for petitioning the courts to have recognized the lost rights to a nation that existed thousands of years before the US government was even an idea. Her name may not be found accept on officail legal documents.She is not in any books. Please check what you read about the struggles of the Native Amercians,and who is writing that history before you make comments. I won't go into all this,because this not the proper forum. I will say my mother ,who did not let her sprit be broken,... loved my father who was of another race. Through all kinds of hell, they loved. They are both gone now, but what they gave to the world was this great lesson of love. To all : Again I give thanks for your thoughts. My mother would say " Megwetch" or thankyou for your passion and spirit to seek love and truth.

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  26.   bigeyes31 says:
    Posted: 16 Feb 10

    @boots Man, you ain't(lol)nothing nice... "you must be in a tea party"LOL. You cracked me up and you are holding your own. I'm not picking sides but anyone that makes me laugh is priceless. Easy on ms godiva she is a nice lady and always promoting peace. Peace

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  27.   e-dub says:
    Posted: 16 Feb 10

    Dear Boots; Are you married? Are you married to a black woman?

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  28.   MzBrOwNSuGaR says:
    Posted: 16 Feb 10

    Brady said: Hi everyone. My name is Brady. I am 23 year old white male and I live in downtown Chicago, IL. There is no distinct “reason” why I am attracted to black women. I just am. I don’t think that there should be a reason or explanation. People are people and beauty is in the eye of the beholder. There is a difference between PREFERENCE and EXCLUSION. I am not opposed or have a problem dating white woman I just prefer to date black woman. It’s that simple ------------------------------- To Brady: That was probably one of, if not the best response I have read on the original topic.

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  29.   Salsassin says:
    Posted: 15 Feb 10

    LMAO!!!, Boots, your knowledge of history is so skewed, it is entertaining. I have to go to work right now, but I will address your myopic view of history later.

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  30.   boots says:
    Posted: 15 Feb 10

    To you LO85......hope u read the whole comment, and understand ,that bros like me will not be dissuaded in our mission just b/c you want to interpret history from a western white man's point of view...I welcome your response

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  31.   boots says:
    Posted: 15 Feb 10

    To godiva61...thank u 4 your comment I really do intend to respond in detail later, so please bare with me... 4 the moment I need to enlighten someone.....To LO85...I knew sooner or later that I would have to engage some angry white cat, mad at me b/c Iam not in favor of white men having the privelege,of being able to sexually navigate through all cultures of women of color unfettered,and without opposition..Iam the voice standing in your way..Now then, 2 your 1st point.. about me being a racist like the KKK...There is no such thing as black racism in this country..what whites refer to as blk racism is simply a retaliatory respond to wrongs perpetrated against blks in the first place.Blacks by and large have never had the desire nor the power to impose an ideology of race superiority in this county.Unlike the KKK ,that had a doctrine of hatred yet garnered national support in the early 1900s.Why would'nt blks have a certain antipathy toward those who have raped , stolen and killed their mothers ,fathers and bros. To your next point concerning those blks u have met that are so willing to recipricate.....its a strange inappropriate behavior that some blks have shown that would place other's welfare above their on peoples'..some examples r ...some blks owned slaves and fought with the south during the Civil War ,others were slave traders,many were used to beat "season" new slaves,still others stopped slave revolts by informing the "Massa" I dont understand such behavior..we as a people are to willing to put things behind us although they have'nt been resolved .Your next point on my so called "research" on other groups having suffered like blks or even worse as u claim and you give native Americans as example....let me say up front I do agree that they have suffered..check this out! PLEASE, PASTE, SAVE ,SEND TO NOTEBOOK OR WHATEVER so we dont have to keep going over this....."During the 2 1/2 centuries that blks were slaves and being worked to death Indians were free to move about and resettle.They carried weapons and were able to defended themselves.The government established Indian Bureaus that built and financed a national system of tuition-free schools and required that Indians children attend.The bureaus provided food clothing,housing,and farm tools.They were given back millons of acres of land..........and paid no taxes.They were never stripped of their culture religion or sense of history.They were free to marry someone from any race.Many states like North and South Carolina encouraged marriages between white males and Indian women.All of the civilized Indian nations were slave owners/traders, and fought with the South.It was unlawful to teach a black to read or write nearly a century after Indians were attending free schools.American Indians were fierce warriors.......out of repect for them many whites learned the language and cultures....the nation further honored them by enshrining their likeness on American coins and institutionalizing their cultural contributions...White society's respect for the Indian was so great that an Indian image symbolized the nation before it was replaced by "Uncle Sam"...Black Labor White Wealth p. 76-78(Claud Anderaon,Ed.D powernomics corp...You claim that the plight of blks in this country has been brief,in what context ru speaking?..maybe in the span of the whole of history, but as it concerns American history , the spanish in the summer of 1526 took 100 black slaves to start a settlement in what is now called South Caroloina.. lies my teacher told me(New York :A touchstone book) 1995 p.138.... And finally on nationalism and what type social order and the jews. this will take some time to explain so Iam going to just wait....hope u got the message

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  32.   bigeyes31 says:
    Posted: 14 Feb 10

    @Bamababe I swear toGod mine IS on the 10th! I'm from the OTHER M, Montgomery. Yes, Mz BrownSugar we MUST BE long lost twins,LOL. It's a small, small world. Wow, very weird,LOL

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  33.   L085 says:
    Posted: 14 Feb 10

    Boots, Dress it up however you like, racism is what it is. How about I tell you... that you should not be with white women or any woman of another race other than African American? I won't pretend to have a reason other than that you are of a different race, because despite the facade, your rationalization is the same as any cross burning member of the Klu Klux Klan. You are different and therefore should not intermingle. It's total crap of course, but the rational is equivalent. Frankly, notwithstanding some obvious racism toward a different race that occurs in any ethnic group I find the majority of black community I've encountered very willing to reciprocate a relationship with whites, and would assert that your sense of alienation has to do with you rather than I. Are they then traitors to your race? You profess to be a fan of research, I suggest you consider that there are plenty of other groups that have experienced far worse than the black community, such as that of native Americans who have been persecuted for well over 400 years, or perhaps those of the Jewish community who have experienced 2000 years of ill-treatment. The social plight of blacks in the context of the Americas while frustrating for you personally, has been relatively brief in comparison. You also mentioned black nationalism. Fine, Africa has 53 Nations, none of which have the social or governmental infrastructure of the United States which was predicated on the EUROPEAN model which you decry so vehemently. What social order then would you prefer other than the European example would you emulate for your racial nationalist tendencies?

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  34.   boots says:
    Posted: 14 Feb 10

    To Salssasin that elder comment was very cute...lol..yea! yea! sometimes I feel that way in the morning,but I still get my work out 4x a week. Whites are fond of calling people extreme when they dont follow that right wing stuff.And Iam shocked that u would be amused by an author such as RANDALL ROBINSON he being a Harvard trained attorney and u having a background in the same field of study...Oh well! As I travel across this country and see the large tracts of land, the huge farms ,ranches.And I think of ownership and how /why it came to be that blks were left out of the deal... they were the ones who cleared the land, grew the crops But were never able to take ownership..this basic concept of a honest day's work gets you a honest day's pay seems to have no meaning at all when it comes to what blks did.......I can hear u now ..its been to long ago ...there are no living slaves left to pay etc etc..all these smart ass people cant find no legal justification for reparations. willingly blind..it's the same type of thinking that said seperate but equal, Plessy v Fergusonthey were supposed to be the most brillant legal minds in the country at that time . That's why blks have this viseral reaction to whites saying the US does'nt owe you guys anything.whenever white people wanted to justify a wrong they would just pass a law to cover it . If they wanted to make crack cocaine worse than the powder ...just pass a law and say its so.U missed the forest 4 the trees whe u talked about those blk kingdoms whether they were ancient great or whatever...white teachers didnt speak at all about them...but they were busy telling me about King George and all. In many ways living in the north was as bad as the south over the last 30 yrs ...think of Boston in the 70s regarding busing...I respect your education,but we disagree...btw.. I love all types of books, CS LEWIS is one of my favorite writers( mere christianity,the problem with pain, screw tape letters...I suspect that we all should be suspended in time on some issues..also many of my heros were the abolitionist.. John Brown.. who's home i visit right here in town

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  35.   MzBrOwNSuGaR says:
    Posted: 14 Feb 10

    Bamababe and Bigeyes... I was just fixin to say ya'll must be twinz seperated at birth... Bama beat me to it. LOL!!

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  36.   Bamababe2k9 says:
    Posted: 14 Feb 10

    @bigeyes SERIOUSLY?!? your birthday is the !10th? Are you my long last twin or something? DAMN! lol Yes you and me have to talk more. :)And what part of Alabama are you from? I'm originally from Mobile.

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  37.   Salsassin says:
    Posted: 13 Feb 10

    Laurelton, Indeed, the south was a slavery society. Even gens de colour where slave owners in some regions. But that does not translate to the north. Of course the north was the origin of the One drop rule and many antimiscegenation laws, so they had their own issues.

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  38.   Salsassin says:
    Posted: 13 Feb 10

    To Boots. I apologize. I didn't know I was speaking to an elder. No wonder you have such a skewed view on life. Sorry Jim Crow ended a while back, nut it is understandable if it is still in your head. You lived it. But of course all your accomplishments would not have happened if Whites hadn't added their energy to the Civil rights movement. Sorry to dissappoint you. I have no desire for a Black woman. My desires are for women in general. Contrary to most who post on this board, I am not interested in so called interracial relationships, I am a product of a so called interracial relationship. I could care less what ethnic group the girl I date comes from so long as her values are akin to mine. I am entertained that you call Sowell an Uncle Tom. Extreme mentalities like you, usually do. And Sambo? A person of Afro-Indigenous decent. Of mixed ancestry. I beleive he is more Afro-European. But you confer him an honor. Sorry, but your books are amusing. America doesn't owe Blacks individually anything, but uplifting the Black community to opportunities, yes it does have that duty. What is your child doing now? College? Seems like America is starting to fulfill its debt, one brilliant mind at a time. The Isis Papers? You have to be kidding me, one of the most pseudo intellectual books I have ever seen. Entertaining that you quote Songhhay, Gahna ILE Ife, etc. At least you aren't an obsessed Egytpocentric. But Songhay was just a few centuries ago, same as Ile Ife, Ghana and Mutapa. So while they are great examples, they aren't ancient. Hence why I didn't mention them. Kush is east African, Most African Americans do not descend from that one. ANd you know very well most Africentrics claim Egypt, as well as the Olmec, ancient Chine, India, etc. So yes fantasy kingdoms. Yes many Eurodescent people did not live tthrough Jim Crow. While you may be suspended in time. One, not all White Americans lived in the South. Two, many White Americans are recent migrants. Like in the last 30 years. On both occasions, they had nothing to do with Jim Crow. So again, you may have accomplished a lot in your life, but much of what you accomplished was because many White Americans CHOSE to support the struggle for Civil Rights. and yes many risked their lives for it.

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  39.   bigeyes31 says:
    Posted: 13 Feb 10

    Oh yes I hit the button too fast,lol. I long for blacks and whites and all other races to stop stereotyping each other and talk about IR's and not just the romantic kind, all relationships. I think that way if you have been educated on someone's culture or how they think and they STILL choose to be ignorant then at least you have them pinpointed.

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  40.   bigeyes31 says:
    Posted: 13 Feb 10

    OH my god IT IS 10TH OF JANUARY......WHO ARE YOU???LOL. I mostly visited Atlanta but mostly for shopping. I agree with it being more diverse. You live in Birmingham?OMG this unbelievable!!

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  41.   Bamababe2k9 says:
    Posted: 13 Feb 10

    I have a tendency to meet more men from the Atlanta area because it's more diverse over there then in Bham. I use to live in Arlington, Texas back in the day for work and I worked around some very handsome white men who flirted with me ALL the time. I had a bf at the time though,but I digress. I agree about the dialogue though. I think it's important that we talk to one another about issues like this and the ups and downs of IR dating and marriage. If you say your bday is the 10th of Jan, I'm going to die. LOL

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  42.   bigeyes31 says:
    Posted: 13 Feb 10

    OMG you are a Capricorn? Wonderful so then I think we "understand" each other. I do believe that's where it comes from,actually,LOL. This is just a thought, Houston is in the south but there are so many people from everywhere else. I have found that my best connections with other races have been with those from the north and west. For example, one of best friends who I met last year while in school is from Minnesota. She is white and married to a biracial man(black and white parentage)and we clicked automatically and one day I took out my drivers' license for whatever reason and she screamed(not because the picture was bad,it wasn't,lol) she realized that we had the SAME birthday. She picks at me all the time because she doesn't understand my attraction to white men???LOL It's ALL about perception and I think we as a nation CAN get through these conditioned thoughts Bamababe but we HAVE to get honest and have dialogue with each other.

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  43.   Bamababe2k9 says:
    Posted: 13 Feb 10

    @Bigeyes I'm Capricorn too. LOL Maybe that's where it comes from. I think you are right though. A lot of southern white males are condition to think the way that they do because they learned it from someone or somewhere. Most of the men I have been involved with on a personal level, aren't from the South. Race is less of an issue in most of the country, but it's THE issue here. Even having a friend of a different race is strange to some people,

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  44.   bigeyes31 says:
    Posted: 13 Feb 10

    @Bamababe2k9 Well, I can relate to what you say because I lived in Alabama my whole life. I mean, it's state slogan is "the heart of Dixie". It's on the liscense plates but has since been printed smaller now due to it's racial connotations. I have since moved to Houston and getting better responses from white men. I mean you are a human woman, it's okay to be attracted to men of all races. I dated one white guy from Alabama and the experience was pleasant overall but they do(in the south) have a certain view of black women. This guy admitted that he had been taught certain things about black women not necessarily all sexual nature but just how they perceive us to act, what musis we should listen to and even how we like to have fun and celebrate. He assumed that every black woman goes to clubs(even named a particular black club in our town,wth?),was genuinely surprised by the type of music I listened to,etc. In my home town, it's still divided into west side(black side) and east side(white side) one is distinctively more developed with shops and businesses,etc than the other.So, it's about environment and what someone has been taught. This guy admitted that he had heard his grandfather say alot of racially charged things but he knew that his grandfather was wrong and that he appreciated what his father had to reject in order not to be warped in his thinking. I think there's hope when we start being honest about stereotypes. I have ZERO tolerance for white men who sexualize black women or women period. I have even less tolerance for a black woman who will brand a man like this as "honest". You are right to deal with them as directly as you do because they need to know that you MUST RESPECT and WILL RESPECT ME at all times....hey I'm a Capricorn woman, we don't play that(love to all cappy's and all others,LOL).Basically, just wanted to encourage you because you are not alone in your experience or your opinions.

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  45.   Bamababe2k9 says:
    Posted: 13 Feb 10

    I love white men and have been in love with white men all my life. The problem I find is that the part of the country I live in (the South)it's hard to find southern white men who can loook beyond their penises to date sistas. You know how I can tell a white man is really into black women? Is when they don't start the conversation talking about sex. I find myself totally turned off by the guy who use this phrase " I heard black women are great in bed, or Black women are more out going in bed." BUZZ wrong answer buddy. I don't fool with white men either who put down black men. I don't like that guy either who thinks because he is white, he is better. Anyway, the white guys I've been interested in either have dated black women before or they have a totally appreciation for sistas. Those men are few and far between in the South.

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  46.   godiva61 says:
    Posted: 13 Feb 10

    @boots, I'm sorry that my response to your comments in the form of a few questions appeared to be "intrusive" in nature, I thought ALL comments here, on this public forum were welcomed and in no need for a invitation. Is it okay for questions to be a part of the dialogue? Or was it that I questioned you? I think it's a safe assumption to state that we ALL know the truth, the history of America. Some are in denial, have always been, and will always be in denial about the history and the ramifications of slavery and the oppression of black people in this country. So the truth of your comments were NEVER in question! If you are here on a dating site, an interracial dating site, to seek justice, then so be it. I do hope and pray that you find what you are looking for. It's so ironic that sometimes we seek justice, among those who has no power to give you justice. Who here can give you the justice that you seek?? I wouldn't go to a cemetery expecting to find the living among the dead!! I think it's obvious that everyone here is here because they want to be. I would hope no one is here because they are forced to do so. Since this site seems to be designed for the single, and the single people that are interested in dating, and possibly meeting, and opening up their options, to meeting Mr/Ms right, and considering your marital status and your stance on interracial relationships, I was curious as to why you were here, so that's why I asked the question's that I did. I was invited to go to a gay bar the other day, I'm not gay nor do I drink so I don't know why I was even asked, not a first, then it occurred to me the true MOTIVE, for being asked... It is not the first time that I have asked this question!! I am not implying that a married person can not, or has not the right to be here. It's just, it seems for the most part, the happily married, and committed people that frequent's this site, hardly ever talk or elaborate on the success of their longstanding relationship with their spouse. I would think that someone who has that type of relationship experience, would be, or could be beneficial to those who have not yet experienced such a relationship, regardless of the race factor. That is the one truth that is rarely, if ever spoken here. I can not say for the sake of being truthful, wether or not if people on this site, black or white,are actually finding dates, because I have not spoken to ALL the people on this site. Maybe they have told you, so you have the advantage on this information. What we say/write here can always be reexamined, and all of us can go back and read the comments over, that include my comments as well. If you choose to go back to my comments, you will see where I stated that "I was going on my memory of your comments posted here", which simply means, I could have not remembered your speaking against black men and non black women, that's why I asked if you were ANTI interracial across the board, or were you just ANTI black women and non black men! You are entitled to your rage, your anger, your bitterness. We all have had to deal with and fight through these emotions. For me, and I'm speaking on my behalf only, rage and anger has it's place, it's inevitable, however, I also know that rage, and anger can cloud your judgement and prohibit one from soaring to new heights and blocking your blessings, and most of all, these emotions can, will, and have put a halt on progress, self growth, and has caused a great divide, and irresponsible behavior on the choices that some of us has made. I have found in my life, that when I don't, and refuse to focus solely on me, and my pain, and rage, it allows me to do what I need to do, which is to reach back behind me, by helping and inspiring someone else to rise up by making the difference in their lives. I'd rather be proactive, and productive in my life and the lives of other's. We have not had, or hold the economic, political power in this country, this much is true.This does not mean that we are exempt from the immoral behavior's that we have inflicted on each other. We don't need an Oxford Education to come to this conclusion, enough said as far as I'm concerned, however, when we sterotype, demean, prohibit, manipulate each other, how are we different from those who has used all of these same tactics in the past, to keep us oppressed??? Bad and immoral behavior, is just that! Last but not least. I am governed, lead, protected, influenced by ONE who has ALL POWER, so there is nothing that I can't do, or have in my life. That being said, I can go anywhere, do anything that I want in this United States of America, and I didn't do to bad overseas as well, there is no limit in my life and every chance I get, I will, and have a moral obligation to reach behind me and bring someone along. I could NEVER accomplish this, If I rode through life always looking through my rear view mirror. I know I have to glance every now and again through my rear view mirror, and I have a pretty good idea, as to what is behind me, but the view in front of me takes precedence over the view in back of me, and I refused to be OPPRESSED, and ENSLAVED, in my MIND and I'm not too fond of having that type of mentality and spirit around me!! godiva

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  47.   boots says:
    Posted: 13 Feb 10

    To you SALSSASIN...just like I said you want a blk woman but you hate me that's alright you still have 2 deal with me ...you got a lot of rage in your comments I see...well a got rage too..btw I do have some of those books you mentioned in my library, although your choice of authors is very interesting, Mcwhoter is good, but Thomas Sowell well uncle tom comes to mind ,more corretly (sambo)b/c uncle tom was actually the good guy in the story. Well let's talk books you got your right wing books and you talking about habitual complainers, handout bs.. you probably in a tea party ,right.Ok books ,THE DEBT: (what america owes blks) RANDALL ROBINSON, QUITTING AMERICA :RANDALL ROBINSON plum books..BLACK LABOR WHITE WEALTH:CLAUD ANDERSON,Ed.D..DIRTY LITTLE SECRETS(blk history heros and troublemakers)CLAUD ANDERSON,Ed.D...THE ISIS PAPERS(the keyes to the colors): Dr Frances Cress Welsing cw publishing . ..SLAVERY bY ANOTHER NAME:Douglas A.Blackmon(anchor books)a national bestseller..SEX AND RACISM IN AMERICA:Calvin c.Hernton ,Black Rage: William H.Grier and Price M.COBBS You want more, how about the Bible too. Btw Those ancient empires of Africa were not a fantasy, Songhay,Ghana,Ife,Kush, Monomatapa Its just that whites never felt the need to teach the children about them....To your point about Eurodecedents not living in the USA during slavery or jim crow well then tell me just what time did they live in the US b/c slaves came around 1619 and jim crow lasted all the way into the 1960s.Your other point about whites giving up their lives ....forefathers, most of the whites who fought in the Civil War on the side of the Union were fighting to preserve the Union.And even after the war had ended there was an effort to send blks back to Africa,President Linclon was a force behind it....YOU..talk that same old bs over and over ...put the past behind ..y'all blk people stop complaining y'all just want a hand out.you always like to give a few blk successs stories, Ben Carson Obama,btw I probably knew of Carson long before you and his pediatric surgery. Tell me how would you correct the inequities from past exploitation anyway.....lastly you make quite an assumption when you say "YOU WILL AMOUNT TO NOTHING".I served my country and spent 27yrs pulling white and blk asses out of burning buldings as a firefighter and doing CPR on those who had full arrest.Been married 25yrs raised 3 children who went to ST V with Lebron James, they all went to secondary education my daughter is attending OH STATE NOW .I just hope the other readers on this thread will see you for what you really are......Like I said before you want the blk woman but you dont want to deal with me ....but I aint going nowhere

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  48.   bigeyes31 says:
    Posted: 13 Feb 10

    I think quoting poetry about "strength, and "going about placidly" while behaving like a person with several different personalities that show clearly that they are a "control freak" when they don't get "rescued" by you, or if you disagree with them, and talking about "balance" is compared to a pig wearing lipstick to me. Wow, quotes a poem for those that can "think for themselves" but is angry a man didn't come to their rescue???? Disconnect.... disconneted from ALL balance and reality...LOL. Wow, this persons needs their points "PROVEN" so badly they make them up...LOL Why someone hasn't "rescued" this person SOONER is tragic. I had to interject here since my name was mentioned. I didn't IMAGINE IT or anything, LOL

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  49.   Member says:
    Posted: 13 Feb 10

    (Leaning back in CEO Leather chair) This discussion seems to have take an turn to politics, power, and race. Actually, I was watching "slave catcher" a documentary. About how the South depended on slavery to keep their economy going. Slavery gave many people jobs. You had men who raised "negro dogs" that chased down slaves. You had the oversee, who usually was a poor white man working for the plantation owner. You had independent contractors who caught slaves for a living. They call it "Bounty hunting". The reason I even bring this up. I don't exactly know what black people want to see with this generation of white people. There was white abolitionists that tried to bring an end to slavery. The Civil War was over the institution of slavery. I read some letters on what white people "said" when their slaves ran away from the plantation when Lincoln Emancipated the slaves. The poor white people were like "Jimmy lived with us his whole life, why would he run away? It was a devastating time for some white southerners. Were they 'delusional". Perhaps, but people need to look at both point of views. It is not even about white people. It is about what black people do to each other. A white guy has never done anything to me personally. Some have helped me in some situations. My father's best friend is white guy married to a black woman. They had a "fall out" over the OJ Trial but they are friends now. My father's white friend of 30 years said to him " OJ was trying to be white". Needless to say, they got "into it". My thing is we can all disagree without being violently disagreeable. I plan to release a new post. Russia news was talking about the desperation of black women. RUSSIA!!!!!!!!!!!What is going on?

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  50.   Member says:
    Posted: 13 Feb 10

    QQ in Tatt you made "reference" to me not coming to a "rescue'. It is never personal for me. I like both of you. I have known you longer on this board. The argument got too some point about who is "biracial" and etc. I can't remember the whole discussion. I talked to the mormons and they said "you can have several wives".When they said that, I thought about Tatt. But if she gonna pull what she did "with Big eyes", I have to nip that in the bud. Tatt get to Kissimmee Florida summer (getting a house out there) You need an ambitious man that is doing something with his life. You mention my blog has nothing to about you. You have to read "between the lines" cupcake. After I advertise?????????????????????????????? You know damn well "Talent" does not advertise. I resent that damn statement Tatt! See, you like being the dominate one in the relationship. Girl I will grab your hips and throw you on the bed. I am "hands on" man with a woman. I don't go for that "slick talk". Hopefully, you will come around Tatt.

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