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Why white men love the black woman

Posted by James, 31 Aug

Ever wondered why some white guys, love black women so much?

It seems that being a white male and proclaiming your attraction to black women (not only sexually, but also romantically) may lead to a lot of controversial and dangerous things. Let’s leave the debate of why more black women may be opening themselves up to white guys. The main focus of this debate is: why some white guys are opening themselves to black women. Let’s concentrate on that.

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Most white males don’t feel like they are running short of white women to marry. White males just marry at high rates. So question is: Why black women? The thing is it will not be fair to bundle up black women as one since everyone is their own person… be it in appearance or personality.

However, one thing that a white male friend of mine said… and I let him get away with bundling it all up is: “We love a black woman's confidence, her tenacity and her undeniable achievements in the face of great adversity...᾿ Since this info was coming from a man, there was definitely the mention of the lips, the curves, and that wonderful skin as well.

So what about stereotypes like “black women are either sexually conservative or total sluts?" Many people give so much lip service to interracial dating sites. You would think they have never done it. But those uptight individuals are the ones that spread these stereotypes. What happened to the highly educated black woman? How about the caring, decent and involved black woman?

Probably most white guys and others are confused with the stereotypical trash people spread around and if you are one that falls for such lame ol’ lines, then you sure as hell haven’t dated a black woman.

Bottom line, you don't have to sacrifice who you are for a white guy. They will love you anyway. Just be you and open yourself up… and if you like white guys, some white guy will find you too.

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8097 responses to "Why white men love the black woman"

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  1.   boots says:
    Posted: 13 Feb 10

    To... godiva61 let me flip the script on you and say..I am not anti....I am pro..pro telling the truth... pro seeking justice..etc. While your questions to me seem innocent in nature, they also appear somewhat intrusive.My motives 4 being on this site are the same as others it's b/c we want 2 be here,and for the dialogue.Whether I am happily married or cheating on my wife is irrelevant.Besides how would you or anyone else know the difference anyway? So the premise of your question is misguided. Let me add this too......most people on this so called dating site are not finding dates black or white...to your other comments, I have plenty to say on blk/men white /women relationships.I have made strong statements on other blogs(topix). We can start that topic now if u like.Yes I do believe there is a problem out there,b/c whites refuse to share power with blks be it political ,power inherit in wealth etc. The white man blk woman relationship has historicaly been one of power and submission.Blk men were unable to protect their women and families from white men in the past.Although there are other dynamics at work in that relationship, the component of power over the submissive fuels the rage of which I speak.And finally ...you say that we as blks are becoming just like the group we have complained about, not so for we have never held any real power of any sort in this country.

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  2.   Salsassin says:
    Posted: 13 Feb 10

    Oh, quit eating shit through your ass and speaking it through your mouth. Your victimology is pathetic. I could care about your ethnocentric nation building. Afrocentrism is just reactionary Gaga to Eurocentrism. Just as bad, just as inaccurate. While I doubt you even read, I reccommend others on this board read: Afrotopia: The Roots of African American Popular History by Wilson Jeremiah Moses Afrocentrism: Mythical Pasts and Imagined Homes by Stephen Howe We Can't Go Home Again: An Argument About Afrocentrism by Clarence E. Walker Reading, writing and racism: Black ideology is the black child's most debilitating burden by Okey Chigbo Losing the Race: Self-Sabotage in Black America by John McWhorter Black Rednecks and White Liberals: And Other Cultural And Ethnic Issues by Thomas Sowell If you had any clue, you would know many Eurodescent people did not live in the US during Jim Crow or slavery, so they didn't benefit Jack. There is no automatic White privilege in this country. You would also know many Whites who did live in this country gave up their lives so you would not live as your forefathers did. In fact, while some Europeans have been the last big Empire builders. They have always had European opponents fighting them. But usually the most antagonistic are also the most militarized. So guess who usually won those clashes. People from around the world have felt exploitation in some way or another. Sorry but Black America isn't the virgin queen of victim land. While inequities from past exploitation have to be corrected, only those who are willing productive members of society are the ones who deserve protected from historical abuses and their echoes in the present. Parasitic habitual complainers who want hand outs while perpetually playing the race card like you don't deserve squat. Go on fantasizing about ancient Egyptian Kingdoms, just like Eurocentrics did. That is why you will amount to nothing. While others, like Ben Carson, Barack Obama, etc will rise from poverty acknowledge disparity but will not fall into the race card game and succeed in life. It's not Black men that Black women are walking away from. It's Black parasites. Productive Black men in society have no problem finding worthy mates, of any ethnic background. They integrate into society and become achieving productive members of society, not mouth pieces for race card games. The only ones that do succeed with that type of rhetoric are the politicos, because they produce storylines people like you will give every penny for, giving them houses and ears. But you will still be a failure. Now tell me how White Supremacy is oppressing you again.

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  3.   boots says:
    Posted: 13 Feb 10

    To...Salsassin...since you have decided to make a direct attack on my character I shall respond.It's quite clear to me that your puny mind can only frame this discussion in terms like..."his girl friend's friends and family and his friends'....when Iam obviously referring to black nation building ,so I quess that makes you an imbecile or perhaps an idiot. Would to God there had been more AFROCENTRIC teaching and less EUROCENTRIC focus in school. When I was a child it was the white world that taught me to sing about CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS and even designate a day in his honor ,who in fact was a bloodthirsty goldseeking murderer, just read his diary. That was EUROCENTRIC rhetoric at it's best.All white males may not have committed the crimes of the past, but they certainly have enjoyed and shared in white privilege and status, i.e white affirmative action.And all black males may not be innocent victims in the present but they all have felt the deleterious effects of white supremacy in one way or another.

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  4.   tatted2death says:
    Posted: 13 Feb 10

    that was a prose poem by Max Erhmann (1927); renewed by Bertha K. Erhmann (1954)

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  5.   tatted2death says:
    Posted: 13 Feb 10

    Oh, before I forget... I thought I would share something that I found recently...for all those that can read, think for themselves and carry away from this what they will.....I offer... DESIDERATA Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listens to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story. *--* Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. *--* Keep interested in yourown career, however humble; it is a real possesion in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism. *--* Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass. *--* Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you against sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Beyond wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. *--* You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. *--* Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. *--* With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. *-----*

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  6.   tatted2death says:
    Posted: 13 Feb 10

    Glad to see such a diversity in the responses as of late. With the exception of a few, they seem well-thought out and geared toward reaching some sort of balance. To MzBrownSuga.....I appreciated and totally UNDERSTOOD your comment about religion....(even though I might be considered a "non-believer"...LOL). What you said sounded much like just plain common sense. To Queens...buddy, you really have to get some knew material....of course, you didn't come to anyone's rescue whilst I was addressing bigeyes (duly cutting the stings).....proving me right.....ONCE AGAIN. The topics on your blog sound like they have absolutely nothing to do with me or my stance on this issue so everytime you start ADVERTISING after one of your rants about me., I know what the REAL deal is....good luck with all that. To Fkoi....YES....amazing isn't it. Religion persists in being just one of those circular topics that NO ONE can sucessfully navigate.....at least NOT ON THIS BLOG...LOL. To Philly.....simply put, I LOVED YOUR POST. To Gibby.....I continue to admire your posts as well. You have a very balanced way of approaching this blog. All I can say is....I TRY....LOL. To all others have a peaceful and blessed day tatted2death

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  7.   Precious says:
    Posted: 13 Feb 10

    Hello All... I have been reading the comments on this blog for the last couple of hours. I am a black woman in my 30's and I would like to say something on the subject. I was curious as to know "Why white men love black women". Now, I realize that not all white men love black women but just wanted additional feedback. After reading the comments here, I realized much of what is spoken on the subject has been confirmed with what has been obvious in my own life(lips, hips,skin color,sexy,confidence et.) I understand the anger, frustration and resentment that some may feel about inter-racial relationships but I do not condone it. I believe that God created us all as human beings and at the end of the day, we all have the same color blood running through our veins. I have had my share of discrimination, racism and humliation but God has put a love in my heart for people that overcomes these issues. We should overcome evil (past & present) with good (love), not evil for evil. Did we learn anything for Martin Luther King, Jr.? I am proactive in my efforts to break down racial & cultural barriers in my community. Life is too short and I plan on enjoying every moment of it. I support inter-racial dating of any kind. However, I am not oppose to dating inside my race if he is a suitable mate for me. I have dated inside my race and outside my race, both have their different dynamics but nevertheless, they were wonderful, meaningful experiences. I really don't care what people think, I am not a conformist and I live my life they way that I choose. It does not matter to me what my family thinks, what friends think or society for that matter. If people have a problem with interracial dating/realationships, it's their problem not mine. I do not belong to the black man and black men do not belong to the black woman. I believe black men feel that because of the hundreds of years of oppression, they should be entitled to keep the black woman to themselves. I believe that black me feel that since white men own most of everything and run most of everything, the black woman is one thing they can't have ( No way, no how, not ever). These are just my thoughts and opinions and in no way do I write to offend the the comments of others. I have a grasp on reality but I do not harbor negative feelings. This would be poison to myself and allowing others to control me. I hope that we could all live the Dream of King to it's fullest. Precious

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  8.   godiva61 says:
    Posted: 12 Feb 10

    @Gibby3, Thank you! Boots is very honest and I do appreciate his honesty, I'd rather a person be honest than to pretend or to say thing's that they think a person want's to hear. There shouldn't be day that goes by, when you don't learn something new or experience something different!!! I'll listen and will try and respect other's point's of view, and the different anwser's, but daddy advised me a long time ago to not focus solely on a person's response, but his/her true motives for responding. Boots has made some valid point's, but a few things that he has said, not said, is unclear to me, so that's why I asked him the question's that I did. None of us has all the answer's and sometimes not all are going to come to the same conclusion's. It doesn't make one or the other bad/good, right/wrong, just different, and then are the times when I may get what you are trying to say, whereas, someone else may not. As far as this topic is concerned, "why white men love the black woman", the topic is old, however, I will say that NOT all white men do, and that's there right to do so, I personally don't care. I don't like brussel sprouts, but I like spinach. I don't like golf, but I love baseball. I prefer winter over summer, you get my point. Who say's life is over or less meaningful just because????? Debate is good but we need to have common courtesy towards other's and it wouldn't hurt for some of us to listen more and talk less, and at the very least, think before you speak, and if you are not 100% sure, just ask, instead of assuming.. godiva

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  9.   Gibby3 says:
    Posted: 12 Feb 10

    Dear godiva61 I like what you said. My reason for listening to what others say on this site is to understand the true feelings of others whom have opinions about dating another of different background. I have found some sites that cover such topics, does not allow for honest thought,and feeling about such a delicate issue. If one searches, one will find sites that are dominated by individuals [white] who will belittle another whom has opposing views to the point,there is no point. So,at least on this site, so far.., I feel theres more fairness. I will like this site as long as it seems to address all's beliefs. I would prefer to hear the truth in all its forms and yes thou I am a little disrespected by some of boots's ideas, never the less boots is honest. I admire that. I simply wanted all thoughts; the good, the bad, and the ugly so as to truly understand what my mate feels, has to tolerate,feels good about and so on. When I typed in my question, what came up was this site first with the topic being about interracialdating etc. I read through the comments and thought " Why search more? Here is good enough". As we all can see this topic is an ancient one. It still is being discussed , and so on. So, for the present times, this site [in what ever its form] seems actually appropriate to explore the realty of love and relationships between the races. Love will , I believe in all its form , continues on as well as the debate. Gibby

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  10.   godiva61 says:
    Posted: 12 Feb 10

    @boots, I would like to ask you a couple of question's if you dont mind?? My sole reason for asking these question's of you, is because I don't like to assume and I firmly believe that it's better to ask, than to assume. 1. Are you ANTI, interracial relationships, or just the interracial relationships between the black woman and white male? I can't recall, and I'm going on memory here, and not cutting and pasting, any comments from you about black men/white women, just the opposite.. 2. You're a happily married man, so my next question is quite simple, why would any relationship other than your relationship with your wife, would be so important to you? Please don't take this question too personal, but I have oftened wondered why happily married people and/or people who are in a committed relationship, engaged or otherwise, deliberately come to a dating site, not to mention a dating site, that is specific in interracial dating? Now I know one or two might try and answer this question by replying that "this is a public forum and all is welcome". This is very true, however, it's still remains a dating site. Maybe I should pose the question in a different manner, what is your motive for being here? You don't appear to be the type of man that cheats, so why a dating site? According to your last post, you mentioned that "there is a problem out there and it will not go away just because white men make pronouncements about their love for black women". Let's flip the script for just a minute... Now that the script has been flipped, now what? Is this still a problem to you? 3. Last question for now, if a black woman had said the exact same thing's that you had said in your last post, and flipped the script, would you it be okay with it? Would you agree with her, or would you respond by placing a derogatory label of some sort on all black women? Is it fair or just for any of us to sum up the lives of other's? What do we gain from this behavior? I'm black, but I don't know ALL black people. I can not and will not begin to categorize, demoralize, or label ALL black people or ANY other people for that matter!!!! What I do know and BELEIVE is this, who are we to focus and verbally complain about one group, or all groups, that has been successful and consistent about labeling, and mislabeling, not being fair, not respecting and recognizing us as individual's, and yet in 2010 we have, in so many way's, have taken over the same mentalities and practices of the very same people that we complain about.... Where do you go from here?????

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  11.   bigeyes31 says:
    Posted: 12 Feb 10

    MzBrOwNSuGaR Bravo. Your injection made all the sense in the world. Agnostics,aethiests,etc will never understand no matter how many "goats they sacrifice" and our walk is not for them. Agnostic Don't worry, most true believers would never allow you to get close enough to "try and convert you" as far as romantic relationship goes anyway.

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  12.   Member says:
    Posted: 12 Feb 10

    Let me jump in here The only thing a white man has to deal with is black woman's "family members and friends". That would explain the incredible low marriage rate for black women and white men. I don't know about you but I don't see "Tommy" going to the local housing project to date black women. Much less, the middle class black neighborhoods black women live in. There could be a couple reasons for that. 1. They don't want to deal with black men or the intimidation. 2. It is to much of a hassle to deal with a black woman's brother, cousin and father. 3. It just not plain worth it being ostracized by other white people. Now all "racists' can go to hell" We are all prejudice to some degree. The same way you take your white man to a predominately "white mall" might make you a racist. The fact you never visit your black family members in a "rough" neighborhood since you been with your white man. That might make you a racist. The fact your white boyfriends has NEVER introduced you to HIS SIDE of the family. Hmmm, that can't be racist right???????? He is just "not ready" yet. Wake up, this society has always been about race and class! Good day.

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  13.   Salsassin says:
    Posted: 12 Feb 10

    Oh brother. To the moron with his Black male comments. The only Black males that a White suitor would have to deal with are his girlfriend's friends and family and his friends. Like ANY other relationship. The Afrocentric morons like you, the couple just ignores. The same way the White person can ignore racists in his group, he can ignore racists in hers. Because the fact is, All White males did not commit the crimes of the past, And all Black males are not innocent victims in the present. And usually those that get involved in relationships such as these, figured that out, and neither is falling for racialist rhetoric such as yours. The only Black males that a couple has to deal with are the ones that are rooted in sanity and those would naturally befriend them if their relationship is good. The rest, like their racist White counterparts can go to hell.

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  14.   boots says:
    Posted: 12 Feb 10

    To all you white guys who profess love 4 blk women...When you peer deeply into her eyes and you want to drink of her essence,hoping to lose your self in her vitality and resilence.It is her strength that enables you,that gives you the courage to rebel against your own culture.A culture shown to be full of hypocrisy murder and deception in dealing with blks.When you join yourself to her it is a type of rebellion a, rejection of white norms.Her narcissistic response to your persistent advances, shows the purity of character that made her attractive to you.When you profess love for her you want blk people to welcome you.You assume that by making this declaration to the world(I love blk women)that this is your ticket to acceptance in the blk community.The problem you have is ME ...THE BLK MALE... you want her without dealing with me...I stand in the way of your interracial utopia of sex and love. NOT AS IF I OWN HER I DO NOT! ,NOR IS SHE UNDER MY CONTROL....no no..but she is a natural part of me and Iam a part of her.So your efforts to forge a union with her while leaving blk men out of the equation ,means that this is a pseudo, shallow love.Your forefathers had the same dilemma ,when they tried to copulate with every desirable slave girl while beating the backs of blk male slaves until they were raw .There is a problem out there ,believe me,and it will not go away just b/c white men make pronouncements about how much they love blk women.

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  15.   MzBrOwNSuGaR says:
    Posted: 12 Feb 10

    To Ichibod : Well said.

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  16.   boots says:
    Posted: 12 Feb 10

    To.... LO85...I guess we all should just go back to kindergarten..You talking semantics man!...As if our personal choices " singular point of view" don't have any socio-political implications and ramifications .It seems the horrible event, the tragic deaths, mentioned above (you tube)....the choices the white marine and his blk bride made had some social implications ...The very question.... (ever wondered why some white guys.......) raises socio-political questions in and of its self..No sir ..nothing laughable at all here ....and the only thing sad and destructive is the horrible treatment of blk people through the years

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  17.   Jack says:
    Posted: 11 Feb 10

    Nice work! It looks that you are highly expert blogger. Your post is an excellent example of why I keep coming back to read your excellent quality content scripts that is forever updated. Thank you

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  18.   Ichibod says:
    Posted: 11 Feb 10

    MzBrOwNSuGaR, I hear you loud and clear. The Apostle Paul spoke about being unevenly yoked as not advisable, but not forbidden. The life of the godly half could save the life of the ungodly half, however it is a warning that the opposite could happen. Fkoi, Good to see you again, Sir. It is amazing. I mean, there is a thread about religion in relationships. (Interfaith relationships in the US January 22nd, 2008) Only 1 response... that was deleted for some odd reason.

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  19.   Philly says:
    Posted: 11 Feb 10

    When all is said and done, we are all human beings. Race, religion, social status, and any other social identification keeps us separated and under the control of the belief that any one group has it figured out. The irony of it all is that as human beings we form these congregations and communities to better ourselves and be a part of something greater than ourselves, but in the end, we only keep excluding people and continue the cycle of oppression/discrimination. At the heart of every religion is one basic and universal belief: love everyone. Interracial dating is only an issue because we allow ourselves to be viewed by ethnicity. Instead, we should allow ourselves to view and be viewed as people.

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  20.   Member says:
    Posted: 10 Feb 10

    WHY DOES IT MATTER WHAT COLOUR YOU ARE AND WHO YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH . I AM A WHITE MAN WHO LOVES TO DATE BLACK WOMEN - I AM NOT AMERICAN I DONT LIVE IN AMERICA BUT WHAT I NOTICED ABOUT AMERICA PEOPLE ARE TOO HUNG UP ON SKIN COLOUR - STOP JUDGING PEOPLE BY THE COLOUR OF THEIR SKIN BUT THE CONTENT OF THEIR CHARACTER . BLACK WOMEN TO ME ARE SMART - SEXY -THEY HAVE VALUES - THEY HAVE SOMETHING IN THEM THAT KEEPS THEM PUSHING FOR BETTER .WE ARE ALL ON THIS PLANET FOR A REASON ---TO BE HAPPY AND GET ALONG WITH EVERYONE - WHO WE FALL INLOVE WITH WE REALLY CANT CONTROL - I LOVE BLACK WOMEN AND I WILL NOT SAY SORRY FOR IT -THANK YOU -

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  21.   fkoi says:
    Posted: 10 Feb 10

    This blog is amazing. A headline like "Why White Men Love The Black Woman", which should be edited in any reputable publication based on it's provocative racism, engenders 2500 responses and leads to a discussion of religion. Amazing!

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  22.   MzBrOwNSuGaR says:
    Posted: 10 Feb 10

    On the relious topic, I will inject this. First of all, I don't expect an atthiest and/or agnostic, non-believer, to understand what I am about to say, so I am speaking to those who ccnsider themselves religious, or more to the point Christian, because that is my faith. Can't speak for any others. I would never say if you get involved with someone who doesn't share your faith, that it will never work. But, if you feel the same way that I do, and you consider it a life style, and GOD the centerpoint and the most important force in your life and being, I feel it more rewarding and blessed to share that with some one of common faith. If I remember correctly, when this topic first came up, I believe the young man said a lot of women didn't want to date him because he was not christian. We never know who we will fall in love with. I suppose maybe they didn't want to take the chance od falling for someone they felt not right for them.

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  23.   MzBrOwNSuGaR says:
    Posted: 10 Feb 10

    To Agnostic: I have to admit that I find it very surprising that you "never" experienced racism being married for 30 years to a black woman, but if so, that's really good. Also I think it is wonderful that your family came around for you two. However, I do think that just because you didn't experience it doesn't mean that what Running2mylife is going through is not real, and not just as you said "doing it to yourself, dude, because you’re looking for it and being overly sensitive and self conscious". He told us the things his,and her's, family and friends ae saying and doing. I also have no doubt that stares and remarks are very real as well. Not meaning to sound disrespectful to you Agnostic, but if you were married 30 yrs, you are no doubt an older gentleman, I'm not saying old, but older, and Running sounds quite young, and experiencing someething very disturbing to him and his lady. I thinks the acceptance of the family and friends is more important when your young, and I'm sure your strong outlook on it was not as strong back then, and well, I just think you were a tiny bit insensitive, instead of encouraging and supportive. To Gibby: I enjoy your posts, especially the first one when you told of how you got to know and care for your girlfriend, the person, not just the black woman. I think she is very fortutunate to have met someone like you and I wish you two the best.

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  24.   agnostic says:
    Posted: 09 Feb 10

    To running2mylife: I live in tx just south of you, in plano. I was married to a black woman for 30 yrs until she passed away. I never experienced the kind of racism you describe. You're doing it to yourself, dude, because you're looking for it and being overly sensitive and self conscious. You think that people are judging you and so you see it everywhere. Been there. If you love her, then f*** everyone else, FORGET that she's black and you're white. Change the way you look at things and the problems you describe largely disappear because much of it is in your head. Problems with relatives will work themselves out over time. My family went nuts too, and said some hurtful things. My parents didn't come to my wedding. But, over time, my family came to love her too. Change the subject and this is directed at others. You know who you are. What is with all the talk about religion? If I click with a woman in all the ways that are important to me, I don't care about race. I also don't care if she is religious even though I am not, as long as it isn't over the top, crossing over into lunacy like much of what I'm reading here. Some of you espouse views that are the very worst religious stereotypes. Even though I am very liberal and not religious, I have friends and relatives who are the opposite. We get along fine due to "respect". I respect their views as long as they respect mine. Many of you in here are not showing any respect at all for different viewpoints, because you are so sure in your beliefs that there can't even BE a different viewpoint. How the hell do you think Mary Matelin and James Carville stay married? They probably love each other, but they certainly respect each other. Yes, that example is the other third rail, politics, but it's a good example. It's fine with me if a woman is religious, but if she starts trying to convert me, drag me into church, tells me I'm gonna burn in hell because I don't believe as she does, ect, this is all very disrespectful and I run in the other direction from people like that. Yeah, yeah, I know you folks think that God commands you to proselytize, but I think that God wants you to shut the &%$# up, live your life and let me live mine. I agree with him. Because I know what God wants just as much as any of you. This is supposed to be a thread about interracial dating, not a forum for religious rants. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go sacrifice a goat.

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  25.   mecca77 says:
    Posted: 09 Feb 10

    well, well, look i have to put my two cents in boots. we all know the history of thomas jefferson. no you cannot forget we all have european blood in our background. i think everyone should read i mean really read. because just like with brothers. some whitemen think we are lab rats experimentation. and men are men regardless the same bullshit , same lines. but i did find out from my experience dating whitemen. the ones that i have felt comfortable with did not have a issue with me in public or elsewhere. but as women we know when something does not fit. regardless. we just not going there. i choose whom i want in my life, i choose whom i deserve in my life. yes . he has to come correct. if he cannot. hey make a hole for another man that's all . but i wish everybody stop being so hung up on color. live! well and prosper!

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  26.   Gibby3 says:
    Posted: 09 Feb 10

    Forgiving others is not entirely all about being a good Christian, or believing in a loving God or just trying to be a good person. I think theres times to forgive so as to open our own hearts and minds to peace, and emotional development. If we carry around what I've heard called layers of crap: [anger] over being hurt in many ways by others, we just continue on that pain that was caused by another...yes I do like what Jesus taught about anger, and not forgiving. Did he mean not forgiving,and anger are double edge swords? For two people of different races to find love in one another shows they both are forgiving for the best of reasons, and have grown emotionally beyond issues causing anger,contempt,hatred and so on. Is this a utopian view? Mmmm, maybe. They put love first.This could be a utopian concept. "The good life is inspired by love and guided by knowledge" BR . Note: I really am enjoying this site,and I do appreciate everyone. The awareness I am experiencing about the main topic will be cherrish.

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  27.   bigeyes31 says:
    Posted: 09 Feb 10

    Being grounded in reality means you have to face and accept a problem before you can even begin to solve it. Pretending and having a utopian view on very real problems is a "nut job" and has no grounds to speak on "being grounded" . You can tell when a man's relationship is going well,he starts talking like shakespeare but give it some time,lol.There are people here who feel they have all the answers until you "disagree" with them,lol. Then the REAL ones come out of Utopia,lol. An "objective" person would first "forgive and love" themselves before they would even THINK about admonishing someone else. A person well connected in THEIR reality would say to themselves"hey let me take a look at myself first". Utopia doesn't allow for that, it's a strong force,lol... oh well utopians can always pick up a few "lotus eaters" on the way,lol.

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  28.   L085 says:
    Posted: 09 Feb 10

    Boots, Your tirade would be laughable if it weren't so sad and destructive. The position you profess is no different than those holding the opposite opinion. The question "Ever wondered why some white guys, love black women so much?" was asked and answered from my singular point of view to the women I have had relationships with. Which by the way were mutual and enjoyable. The question was not "what are the socio-political implications of interracial mingling"? Were that the case I would have addressed that conversation.

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  29.   Salsassin says:
    Posted: 09 Feb 10

    "It seems that being a white male and proclaiming your attraction to black women (not only sexually, but also romantically) may lead to a lot of controversial and dangerous things." It seems that is understating it. Roles seem to be reversing since Jim Crow had Black men lynched for daring to look at a White woman. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSCJ_rIdhyg

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  30.   Member says:
    Posted: 09 Feb 10

    (Eating an orange and looking at Tatt) Here we go with the victim "card". You speak of love and forgiveness, I haven't seen it? You shun people that don't agree with you. You diss the white boys that are not interested in you. Then you burn bridges with black men. I didn't jump in when you and Big eyes was arguing back and forth. People would have thought I was kicking you while you were down. After the AZ "debacle", you was mad Ich was talking to Big eyes too!!!!!! Let's just get everything on the table here. Big eyes basically stealing black men and white men from you on a damn INTERRACIAL BOARD. You caught an "L" TWICE! Of course, you are going to do what you "always" do. Yea the whole world has to agree with you. If they don't, you throw a tantrum like Precious "not being able to get a lunch break". The only thing I found amusing was the amount of mixed and biracial black women on here. I consider "y'all" black. You need to figure out, ALL OF you, that you are black. Regardless, if your daddy white or "quarter black". I promote positive change on my blog. It is a self help guide for black women. I never get the credit I deserve. I plan to release the "ONLY FOR THE MONEY AND THE FAME" HOW CAN BLACK AND LATINA WOMEN CAN STOP FAILING IN RELATIONSHIPS "THE COMPREHENSIVE GUIDE". Today I am working on the "RAY J STORY" WHY BLACK WOMEN AND LATIN WOMEN SELF-DESTRUCT WITH RICH BLACK MEN. I am also currently working on THE WHITE MAN BAILOUT PART 5 THE STIMULUS PACKAGE PART 2 Oh yea, I hope Scoff and Sara is doing well. This is my year 2010! Get used to it. (Heading to work)

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  31.   Gibby3 says:
    Posted: 09 Feb 10

    Bonjour tatted2death You could be right . I like the way you think. You have my vote. I do enjoy this site and all the opinions , and passion that goes with them. As long as people are talking "everything will be alright" in somebody's life...'aye' Gibby3

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  32.   tatted2death says:
    Posted: 09 Feb 10

    Gibby, In all honesty this may not be the ideal place for such a discussion. Many people here have all sorts of gaurds up and are dealing with a myriad of complexes (not excluding myself). When you (or I) speak of "love" and forgiveness, for some, it will automatically mean we are delusional or "not grounded in reality". Some must hold on to certain negative feelings to maintain THEIR grasp on reality....it just the way a lot of human minds work. Sadly, it seems that anyone that speaks of positive and true change in today's emotional/spiritual climate is usually deemed a "nut-job". Like I said, this REALLY is not the time or place I feel because too many here just look at it as frivolous entertainment and don't know when to get serious. Besides, there are a few here that feel they have all the answers and therefore any even slightly contrasting view is seen as illogic. These people need to have some very serious conversations with THEMSELVES. Peace and Blessings (To ALL) tatted2death AND BEFORE WE START THE "CROSSFIRE" OVER THIS POST....realize this......all I have EVER posed was a DIFFERENT POV...a different way of thinking......NEVER said anyone was "crazy" or "illogical" simply for disagreeing with me.....NEVER said the whole world had to think like me for "everything to be alright"......End Game.

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  33.   Gibby3 says:
    Posted: 09 Feb 10

    Respect to : comment by boots 9-2-2010 The questions you pose, and the comment about God is valid. You ask respectfully for me to not ask Black men in this country to forget the wrongs, and I don't. If we forget or don't remember , as it is said..."history is doomed to repeate itself" I don't really think its possible for anyone to forget many horrible acts done to many. Its just as well that we all must live with these memmories. However; you, me and everyone here must go on . You do have the God given right to life , Liberty, and the pursuit of happiness,which also includes to love,and be loved. I am asking all to get involved in this topic about the concept of personal healing via "Forgiveness".After all ...it is I'm sure something we all struggle with at times in our lives...'aye'. I really think a discussion is needed here for many.... Thanks Gibby3

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  34.   boots says:
    Posted: 09 Feb 10

    Greetings to all.....so the main focus of this blog is" why some white guys are opening themselves up to blk women".... what a joke ...a cruel one too. When was it ever the case in this country that white guys were not open to black women? It's in vogue today for white men to say..." I love her hips ,lips, her swagger, she's independent,I love her inner strength,she dont take no sh@t,there's just something about her, our contrasting skin color bull sh@t,"I find them very sexy(sensual)" Yea, yea, right...but today you just cant take what you want, back then whenever you wanted her you just took her, it became a symbol of white manhood, just go have a n@@ga woman ,that's why we have so many different shades of colors among blks and very light skin like myself .Cut the funnies you always wanted blk skin, you, THOMAS JEFFERSON and all the rest of those hypocrites back then,but you wanted it underccover. Yall need to leave Queens alone he may be harsh but he has some validity ... I did'nt come here to bash all white men ,but I want them to keep it real ............................................to you Gibby3... What does it mean to forgive anyway?and what is love? .....only God in heaven has the ability to completely forget, please dont ask blk men in this country to forget the wrongs that were done and those that continue to exist

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  35.   Gibby3 says:
    Posted: 08 Feb 10

    Dear Running2Mylife-Feb2.2010 First, you and she should never feel your alone , or have no one to talk to. There are plenty of professionls, self help groups, and others who will understand the very real emotions, everyday torments, and yes the wonderfulness of two who are faced with the struggles of being in love. In real life..., two people in love,and who come from different racial or economic back grounds can expect negative opinions.[Every human everywhere has one.] Wanting your family, her family, both your friends and the individual societies to react completely supportive is just not being realistic. What can be hoped for in time, is she and you can get on with the bussiness of your love, and lives together. I can only think of one real remedy to cope with the anger, hurt, puzzlement, and so on you and she may be experiencing from your families whom say they love both of you. Its called forgiveness........ By forgiving , both of you can gain the strength , cherrish love, and maintain a healthy state of mind , all of which can keep love alive. It does take two to keep love alive. It may come about that you or she cannot go on together simply because this experience will leave both of you changed. Be responsible for your own feelings, and grow in them. Give her space, and let her also grow. You can always hope what ever society either of you come from will also grow. It is really ok to hope for cultures to change and see we are all one species. Let the anger go...and don't react to negative opinions in an "in your face type of way". Live your life and let them live thiers.

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  36.   L085 says:
    Posted: 08 Feb 10

    I'm a white man who has dated interracially quite a bit and while I don't hold a single idea of the perfect woman in mind, I can talk about some of the things I like about being with the black women I've known. They are very much themselves and confident and I like that. Mostly they are kind to a fault unless treated poorly, they are willing to call me on my sh*t and I like that too. A relationship is mutual and if it uneven, it should be addressed, and in this way they help me be a better partner and man. I find them (very) sexy and sensual and that well... drives me wild :-)

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  37.   Ichibod says:
    Posted: 07 Feb 10

    I feel ya, Bro. I'll 'co-sign' to that.

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  38.   fenway2k says:
    Posted: 07 Feb 10

    @Ich That's too funny. What people fail to realize is that ignorance, fear, superstition, profiling, and stereotyping are HUMAN traits, and are not indigenous to any particular race, creed, color, or sex. So to point out these flaws in a race and use them to justify your own personal bigotry against races and sexes is...what's a good word....oh yeah....RIDICULOUS!

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  39.   Ichibod says:
    Posted: 07 Feb 10

    Fenway, He was speaking about the difference in being spiritually minded versus carnally minded. As I was typing a comment on a different topic, he briefly mentioned what he read about black women in some magazine and some stuff that he has heard about black women being viewed as hard to deal with and other times a trashy video girls. He was also saying how he has read why black men date white women and ran down the list of attributes often given to them. He scoffed and said obviously the writer didn't know some of the white women he knows. He briefly went into what black preachers told him about how to deal with blacks in his congregations before he began his own ministry and how bologna that was. My pastor's sister is married to a black man so he found that crap kinda of funny. The entire sermon wasn't about that, he just use that bit of info to help make a point.

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  40.   fenway2k says:
    Posted: 07 Feb 10

    @Ich... Would love to hear your commentary on THAT sermon!

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  41.   Ichibod says:
    Posted: 07 Feb 10

    WHOA!!!! My pastor is talking about the image of black women in america right now! Sweet! He's going through all of the stereotypes.

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  42.   tatted2death says:
    Posted: 05 Feb 10

    Thanks Gibby....I really needed that "bit o' luv" right about now.....it is really appreciated.....keep reading, dear man.... Peace and Blessings tatted2death

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  43.   hypnatist says:
    Posted: 04 Feb 10

    I feel white men should concentrate on loving White women. Black men need to love and respect black women. I don't believe in the mixing of the races. Its not right. And mixed race children have a hard time in America.

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  44.   Running2MyLife says:
    Posted: 03 Feb 10

    I recently started dating a black girl, I'm a white male. I live in McKinney, TX which is a very urbanized part of Texas, so no, I do not live out in the sticks drinking beer all day and shout racial slurs like most stereotypes (Which I have been labeled as time to time on the net). Actually, i'm very against drinking. It's personal and I don't want to talk about it, but I have friends who drink. It's just alcoholics that I resent. It seems I got off topic, but I feel it would be better to lay out the scenario of the kind of guy I am to better understand the situation. Back to my deilema, I am a white male dating a black girl. Here there seems to be a double standard about interacial dating, particulary white-black relationships. I see black guys with white girls everywhere and it is socially accepted as a norm of society, but when a black GIRL dates a white GUY, it becomes an act of immorality. I don't know whats up. Do you happen to know? I don't want the hate, dirty looks and whispers to keep going on. It's really hurting Katie (My girlfriend). I know this sounds SOAP Operah-ish, but I'm just telling you how it's really going down right now. Her family does everything in their power to block me out of her life, my friends try to make me dump her and vice-versa for Katie's friends. My family says what I'm doing is immoral and just plain out wrong. My grandparents, whom were my custodial guardians at the time, are not racist in any means at all. They just believe in staying within your own race. We're both being ridiculed because its the other way around. I'm an A-B student and was even taking a few college courses in my Junior year of high school, I have an absolute hatred towards woman beaters so I never even thought of hitting her, literally, I never thought of it and I love her...That sounds a bit odd to say on the net...I hope she doesn't read this, I haven't even said those words to her...yet... I have done nothing but treat her with respect, dignity and equality. You know how I found this page? I typed, "What's wrong with a white guy dating a black girl?" into Google. You know I must be low on options if I have to consult Google. I can't consult friends or family. What's up with this double standard? Why is it a double standard? What can I do to fix it? Should I just break up with her to so she can go back to her normal life? If I have to, I will. As long as she can go back to her normal life with all her friends, I don't care. But I don't think I'll ever forgive my family or friends ever again. Please reply back, I want to fix this A.S.A.P.

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  45.   Scoff/Sarah says:
    Posted: 02 Feb 10

    Just stopping by, to say hello, and yes me and that Lady are still going strong. She is having to take care of her daughter for awhile, however we talk almost every day, and then she gets a few days free she comes to the coast to relax and let me pamper her. It's so good to see all the ol'gang is still around, take care & may god bless. Love ya'all Scoff

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  46.   Gibby3 says:
    Posted: 01 Feb 10

    Dear tatted2death You are very witty,and have a wonderful way of getting your point out in the most constructive way. I read through these comments,and the one thing I noticed is each one becomes enriched by your insights.Keep the humor going.Love it.

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  47.   Gibby says:
    Posted: 01 Feb 10

    Hello I ran across this blog/site by accident.I was looking for wisdom. I recently have went online to find a serious relationship. I think I did find someone.I never saw her photo, nor did I know what race,culture etc.was until after I talked with her.From the moment she wrote,shared her feelings about God,relationships,marriage,family,love and so on, I was overwhelmed.To find someone who at least shares half your beliefs I think is difficult to say the least. She could see my photo, and that I was Chippewa/French.Not once did she wonder about my views on race. I finally saw her photo.She is beautiful,and the look in her eyes are making me melt, if I dare disclose this:[Usually private about my feelings]. I was raised in Canada in a place where these issues of race are really not an issue. I was not raised with all the stereo types placed on Black,Whte,and so on. I simply saw the world and the people in it as people. Now, I'm older,and do see how ugly people can be by judging,and analyzing others by thier race etc.If I fall in love with this wonderfull woman, would I let what others think and say stop me from loving her in always? I just as soon as die first. If I loved her and she loved me, to let her go cause society said so, would devestate me. So, when all is said...when your in love and your the only two in the world who knows, you both find strength, and the courage to over come the hatred of racism no matter where it comes from. And it is my belief, that God, the Creator, and so on places before us this gift of love. In all relationships theres troubles.One would have to be immature to think not. Is the trouble with racism to great? No,not if your love of someone is greater. You will do all you can to protect it,honor it,and cherrish it. Any group or culture or class would go through hell to stop it. Just look at how many real life stories of love, and how love was never destroyed. Anyway, I came here looking to understand her culture so as to honor her. To know her is to honor her...yes. She wants to learn mine. Gotta any wisdom?

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  48.   Star says:
    Posted: 01 Feb 10

    Interesting enough this forum pop up when I was searching for information on interracial dating. So far this forum holds my interest but, doesn't give me much comfort. I'm more confused than ever about my feelings.

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  49.   kiki says:
    Posted: 31 Jan 10

    im half african (my dads family is from africa), a quarter white, and a quarter filipino. now thats a mix. my mom and my dad didnt last, but it wasnt racial reasons. my dad is married to a white lady and its been strong and there is no race problems. its funny because alot of people worry about what there family will think and sometimes you should, but in my particular family, no one cares. all my dads brothers and sisters are dating or married and have kids with a white person, except one who is married to a mexican and one who has a full black kid. my mom is filipino and white and dates blacks, her relationships dont last too too long but its her own reasons, non related to race problems. this also means her dad is white and her mom is filipino. we're all just a bunch of interracial dating people. we're all doing fine. did i mention all of my dads kids and his sister and brothers kids like white people and other races more than black. after all this time, still no race issues what so ever. srry i know i was a little redundant but yeah. why does race matter. if you love someone you love someone. some people miss out on such amazing people that could have been in there life.

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  50.   fire321 says:
    Posted: 31 Jan 10

    Hi, Ich Yeah, I've chosen to keep my posts to a minimum considering the direction the blog has been taking lately. I will not participate in any of the madness that's been going on around here. When things become civil and the topic at hand is being discussed, maybe I'll participate again. Good to see ya!

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