Why white men love the black woman
Ever wondered why some white guys, love black women so much?
It seems that being a white male and proclaiming your attraction to black women (not only sexually, but also romantically) may lead to a lot of controversial and dangerous things. Let’s leave the debate of why more black women may be opening themselves up to white guys. The main focus of this debate is: why some white guys are opening themselves to black women. Let’s concentrate on that.
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Most white males don’t feel like they are running short of white women to marry. White males just marry at high rates. So question is: Why black women? The thing is it will not be fair to bundle up black women as one since everyone is their own person… be it in appearance or personality.
However, one thing that a white male friend of mine said… and I let him get away with bundling it all up is: “We love a black woman's confidence, her tenacity and her undeniable achievements in the face of great adversity...᾿ Since this info was coming from a man, there was definitely the mention of the lips, the curves, and that wonderful skin as well.
So what about stereotypes like “black women are either sexually conservative or total sluts?" Many people give so much lip service to interracial dating sites. You would think they have never done it. But those uptight individuals are the ones that spread these stereotypes. What happened to the highly educated black woman? How about the caring, decent and involved black woman?
Probably most white guys and others are confused with the stereotypical trash people spread around and if you are one that falls for such lame ol’ lines, then you sure as hell haven’t dated a black woman.
Bottom line, you don't have to sacrifice who you are for a white guy. They will love you anyway. Just be you and open yourself up… and if you like white guys, some white guy will find you too.
8097 responses to "Why white men love the black woman"
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85kguy says:Posted: 09 Oct 09I am going to ease up! I know you are trying. The "deck" is stacked against you sometimes in the IR arena. My best sympathy, empathy, and sensitivity is there for you as though my shoulder was there for you. Keep loving what you crave. I can see in S&S that it does not always involve a respect able relationship and thus a respectable opinion of your decisions. What you have had to accept is not your fault. What you crave did not meet you halfway. I am sure that white men love you. I have seen them declare love for black women on these blogs. Asian men and Hispanic men have declared love for black women too. One (or another one to replace the last one) will come along and match your craving. That man IR man will not harbor malice towards black men. He will not be a tool to use as some sort of avenger for what you feel inside. I caught that SA beauty: "Once again a black man insulting a black woman because he can!" I gather that there are not an even and abundant field of respectable relationships for black women. It makes you angry. Black women need more love. I hope and pray that it comes your way. Just give it time.
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85kguy says:Posted: 09 Oct 09I won't be baited. I am overdue commenting on the brashness and disrespect for elders. If it weren't for such disrespect and impatience among the younger our lunch counters would never have been integrated. Nuff Said
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nephretite says:Posted: 09 Oct 09
I have found that from the age of 15 white men have been attracted to me. I can not figure it out at all. I have rarely had a black man approach me. I really do not pay attention to the color. Since I have moved to the south, this really seems to bother many. Everywhere I go I am like a magnet.
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SanAntonioBeauty says:Posted: 09 Oct 09Once again a black man insulting a black woman because he can!
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85kguy says:Posted: 09 Oct 09I think the cave theory applies to southern slavery and locking millions out of literacy and learning. I think we all know that southerners even misused the Bible to justify slavery. A derivative of that puppet show led to a lineage of shadow relationships. Scoff and Sarah are proud of their existence at or near the end of the line. They (S&S) will never say "go IR public, we approve" (I asked three times for God's sake!!). In kind, southern slave owners would not tell blacks that they were created equal even 10, 20, 30 , and even 40 years after they were freed. Sarah is still a Niglette and proud to have shadow sexual encounters with a WM. She acts like one of those virgin priestess in a pacific volcano god movie! Throwing herself into the volcano because it is a better thing to do. Oh well, at least she can visit Scoff's home nowadays in broad daylight. Progress is Progress
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Scoff/Sarah says:Posted: 08 Oct 09
Mr. Queens that is an excellent dialogue, Pres Trueman made the point about the Klans men buying their sheets from the Jewish merchant. Oh I still think you have few differnt takes on the way things are going in this country. Pres. Obama is good for this country right now, even if your a conserative, as that we can see our mistakes of the past has solved very few social ills. I know there is good level headed young man behind all that fluff KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK and don't change be your own person. Scoff
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Laurelton says:Posted: 08 Oct 09Dear Scoff I am not testy. I may have been a bit to judgmental. It was a turbulent time back then. I am pretty sure if you had things to do over again you would have. I have to remember that you were young people back then. I figure teenagers heading into adulthood. At the same time, there were youth active in the civil rights movement that were in your age group looking for equality. That should not be an excuse. I have mixed feelings about you two. I can never be compared to a Klansman. I never killed people because of their skin color much less harbor any hate towards white people. We can disagree without being violently disagreeable. It is sort of the double standard conservatives preach. It is always " Why are black people so angry". You beat a dog long enough. The dog will hate you and eventually he will bite you. For example, one of the kids I mentor has a pit bull. For the record he is black kid with white parents trying to adopt him. For those who don't know I am a caseworker part time. Anyway, his dog loves people but hates other dogs. Nobody knows why his pit bull hates other dogs. One day the dog got loose and sprained his leg chasing after another dog. Basically that is the state of the black community. I don't have a chip on my shoulder for white people. I am disappointed in what black people have become. Pit bulls attacking each other. So , No I would be last person to hate white people. They have never done anything to me in 20 years. Black people have on the other hand. I am not a pro black militant as I stated before. I am very open minded but you choose to view things in the paradox of love conquers all. I see it as there is more to life than love. Many people on this board are sort of the "love conquers all type". I had a nappy headed black girl like Tricc tell me we have a black president now Obama. I told her this country is heading towards racial brawl. I will not call it a civil war. But Obama has not improve race relations in this country. Simply this is the reason. White people "feel" like they are becoming second class citizens in this country. Some will not say it for fear of being labeled racist. But I do feel there is a negative shift in the country. That is a story for another time. By the way, I never knew they bought sheets from a Jewish merchant. I watched the documentary "The History of the Klan". The FBI dismantled them towards the end of the civil rights movement. That's another story. Good day to you
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Scoff/Sarah says:Posted: 08 Oct 09
Ha Mr. Queens rather testy this morning, and I can see that chip on your shoulder has grown a bit. True to deny the events of the past is a great sin, as well as to carry into the present the hatered of another race. Enough said as I can see clearly that your mind is closed, one day you will see clesrly, when is any ones guess, or you may go to your grave believing as the old tired klan members that bought their sheets from a jewish merchant. Oh to be such a negative person
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Laurelton says:Posted: 08 Oct 09Dear Scoff You asked a question that was rather arrogant. From my understanding you wasn't beating down the door for a black woman during the segregated south. Considering it is Sara that made up that love story in her head and you just "added to it". Why don't you mention your family not agreeing with you being with a black woman? She could have been your girlfriend before you left out to college. Instead you pursued your drinking and fornication with different women on campus. So save your self righteous behavior for people on here that believe your garbage. The Jim Crows Laws were never designed to protect black women. You are right about that. A black women could be raped in the south by white men with no repercussions. If it wasn't for the good DR King restraining black men from murdering white men for their crimes committed against those four little black girls in that church in Alabama. You wouldn't have no love story just scars and hatred. That is why it is hard for me to BELIEVE. A love story could exist considering the sick hatred whites had against black people during the 1960s. Unlike my peers here, they rather put their head in the sand or talk about how their history related to white plantation owners. Oh my "Slave owning grandfather" had a light skin black female slave and they ended up married. SO WHAT! Give me a break. You beat a dog long enough. The dog will always love their master. You mention "if you story was fiction" it would be more creative. It is very creative that is why it is fiction. You can stop lying to the people here. I see no mention of the defense of the black woman's virtue in your whole novel. I don't hear any fights among white men for calling your woman a nigger or ANYTHING. I got Uncles and cousins that came to the south and they have scars to prove how many people they fought. I am no Sara fan but she got more integrity than you do. Considering what she had to deal with in comparison to you running away and not defending anybody. You sat on your ass while black people were brutalized. End of story. I don't want to hear about your self serving heroics for an illegal Vietnam War that killed young men unnecessarily, especially black men! Most of which never received any medals AT ALL. I got family that went to Vietnam too. Their relocation is way different than yours Mr Scoff. Good day to you.
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Scoff/Sarah says:Posted: 08 Oct 09
This has been a very eye opening experience, causing me to question why some of the black men are even on this site. Could it be fear, as some of the old Jim Crow laws, to lolo protect the virture of the white southern woman. In their narrow outlook, are they in fear that a black woman will chose a white man rather than a black man. As for that question only they can supply the answer. Referring to shadow relationships, between black and whites of both genders, read some off the cuff historical diaries, this type of clandestine consensual unions has been going on since the first slave ship arrived. A good friend of mine related this story to me several years ago. His family was one of the old south's aristocracy, he really didn't much stock in the legends and all the myths that accompanied it. His sister now that was another story. She was dead serious about the whole affair, and paid some pretty good money to one of those research type firms to trace the family roots. What a surprise, the founding father, one of their great something; was recorded leaving S. Carolina with one light skinned female slave. Then as most of you guessed they show up on the records in Escambia County Alabama, as a married couple. Now thats just one case I know of, as my late father always said we don't want to go too far back, we may find out something we don't want to know. In the ramblings of an old man the point is race mixing has been going on forever. Thats a fact, so get over it. I recommend the reading of Cane River by Lalita Tademy although fiction mixed with some historical facts, excellent window into a mixed culture. As Sarah mentioned earlier she is through posting, myself I just couldn't resist adding another opinion, to the mix. As for our relationship, yes it is true, if it was fiction I think we could make it more interesting. Blessing to all Scoff
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triccinicci says:Posted: 08 Oct 09
Sorry about the mispost. Continueing... The Allegory of the Cave was about ENLIGHTENED Truth. Enlightened Truth is the entire sequence of Truth that no matter how fragmented, rather separate or whole, always reveals in, of, to, through, by and for itself. It is self magnifying and all illuminating. Truth manifests in this same manner within the sphere of the nature of anything else and the many possibilities for everything else (all). This can be accomplished without Truth becoming that which it manifests. Yet the esoteric value revealed is called Truth. Another thing 85kguy, just because someone is skeptical does not make him or her a philosopher. No more than Scoff and Sara being sure they heard undertones of non-appreciation, strove harder to prove their story. Especially to what seemed a few not just mererly disinterested, but vehemently scathing. This does not hold relevance. Still, I think I understand your digging for the truth. You wanting to reveal the greater truth of what you call "shadow" dating. I agree with that. This qualifies as only relateable truth and not an appreciated example of Platonian philosophy. That's my opiniion. What's yours to the specific purpose of "shadow" love/lust and how you thnk the Cave theory applies (I just don't see it from how you described it). Great learning device and kewl way to influenc the discussion from a thinking man/woman's perspective. Do you teach school, lol!
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triccinicci says:Posted: 08 Oct 09
85kguy, You are not far from the truth...in its simplistic terms. The Allegory of the Cave isn't about relative Truth. That was the people being kept in the shadows of the cave. The Allegory of the Cave was about E
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85kguy says:Posted: 08 Oct 09Very briefly, as I analyzed and challenged validity S&S pulled back. If a puppeteers wanted to fool the audience into thinking their presentation was reality....... No we cannot touch and eyewitness the past. That makes us like the "Allegory of the Cave" prisoners. I imagine that Socrates listened to the prisoner reactions and responses. If feedback would reveal falsehood then Socrates would pull back and be more careful with his puppet show (which was not reality). What cannot be denied is that S&S pulled back at each of my challenges and analysis. That is not the response of someone portraying truth. It is the response of someone portraying fiction as truth. Sorry
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85kguy says:Posted: 08 Oct 09I read, retained, and reviewed. I think that I need to balance out friendship by showing a better respect for the romantic light that shines in this narrative autobiography. I think that computers and everyday typing were not a part of the secondary and post-secondary exposure of students and also of professionals in the 60s and 70s. So even teachers did not type much in that time. Mostly secretaries, reporters, and writers of novels typed in the 60s and 70s. I am glad to be tolerated. We are diverse individuals and differing genders after all. Better to be myself and love myself than to gain respect falsely by not being myself. This is not just an opportunity for us to learn about S&S. It is also an opportunity for them to learn about us. Mr Queens is actually more like a philosopher in nature. You cannot just throw anything in front of him and say it is reality. Look at Plato's "Allegory of the Cave" and look at all of us chained like those prisoners by S&S. Those prisoners in "Allegory of the Cave" thought the puppeteer forms on the cave wall were reality. Mr. Queens is strong! He would not fall for Plato's puppet show. I myself would analyze it an awful lot! That is what you have seen me do in my responses. How about the rest of you? I challenge the rest of you to look at a summary of the "Allegory of the Cave". Else, you fail this S&S experiment.
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triccinicci says:Posted: 08 Oct 09
THAT'S THE SPIRIT S&S! Say, what if it was fabricated? So what? Who said FICTION isn't relevant since NOT ONE person once challenged, including a certain someone I leave unmentioned by name, the undefined assumption that one is Black and one is Caucasian. It is known as presumptive truth, lol! I think the howling of the hounds has been all for not. As it stands now two people may still have felt and acted in this manner. They have not presented a fact filled case (The statement strictly pertains to factual evidence like photos, hand written journals, forgotten about but found letters, etc. Or interviewed, corroberated accounts, travel charts, receipts and such. Doesn't mean the story is not truth. It is simply in its transitive stage between oral and written). This means they could change the names of the characters to psuedo-characters (which is what I believe they were attempting to do in Scoff's case) if they so choose and tell the same story. Either way, my point is they are still in alignment with the thread because S & S are an interacial couple (A presumption I myself presume you didn't check. Saaaaay, what kind of detractors are use guys anway!??? LOL!) dealing with the fallout TODAY of what they directly or implied, were facing in their story's setting and time. Plus you'd have to actually PROVE it did not happen as everyone else says it was a good read or they had casual interest. THAT SHOULD SHUT THE DETRACTORS UP. Like that Nappi Guy (I call him "He who shall not be named", LMAO) who provides streaming commentary between his 18 jobs while Alpha ruling his environs with Tarzanic muscle appeal...Oh that's just to discriptive! He sounds a bit aristocratic, like his name ought to begin with Sir...Maybe add a spice of French for his apparent lack of charisma. I'll just call him Sir Nappi - uh, no! Sir NAPIER!! Sounds like Nnapi-Ay. If you say it fast Sir Nnapi-Yae! If the tables were turned, I'd write my heart out with the one I love. Stand by each other you two! Heck if you need help with edits (But wwwhhhhy when 85kguy had you pegged as school teachers? That was a good shoe gum analysis if you asked me. Did you guys purposefully mistype to throw prying eyes off the trail?) because you are writing in passion, I'll step up (like I really have time, but darnit I'll make time)! Maybe choose a day to publish the next chapter. Why rush? My other suggestion is why don't the people who think so naively that innocence does not abound, offer to help you research and retrace your steps? Guess that was more a question, lol! Relevant nevertheless. Don't they know how? Since the natural question arises, the natural next step should come as well. Detractors have to provide the evidence and not just incite the crowd. 85kguy did ok presenting his 'theory',. It honestly made me think and got me to look at some of the story again. But what of "He who shall not be named"? Come on everybody, "Lights, camera, action"! Note: Absolutely everything I've written in my previous comment and this one is meant to humor and lighten the mood. Not one word is intended to cut anyone down, just create possible solutions. Besides if S & S are members of the blog community we should join the conversation (should as in 'invited/encourage' each other to join). I hope in encouragement by action (at least for me and I'm sure others) and words. But I've been known to be an optimist. Good Luck all.
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dannyco56 says:Posted: 08 Oct 09Scott and Sarah, Hello I am fairly new to this site, (only my second post) but I have been reading your story and have been enjoying it very much. I think your story is love's triumph over adversity only it was not a story but your lives. I know how things were in the 60's and know that a love like yours is the truest. I know that it was not always easy and not always difficult, but I would imagine in the early years it was more difficult then it was easy. I hope that you both will stay on and continue. There will always be those who want to spread sour grapes. I don't know why that is but it is the truth. God Bless you both and all who have posted! Danny
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SanAntonioBeauty says:Posted: 08 Oct 09Scoff and Sarah, I was sadden to hear you were leaving this thread and no longer gracing us with your love story. I know it does appear that the venom was directed toward the two of you and your love story, I contend it was not. It think it was directed toward "older people" and those who dare to remain on topic. This thread and now the new thread has degrade into a social network of 20s, 30s, and some 40 year old black men and women discussing, arguing, and fight over stereotyping of black women, indefeasible history, or remaining in touch with each other rather than using IM. This particular thread was just that with few postings by white men, and with little interruptions. Then you and Scoff came along epitomizing what this thread is all about, disrupting their social networking group. Where were they going to go in order to continue social networking? Some wanted you off and the site returned to the status quo. Now, there is another thread, where many are fully aware is a set up by the administrator James, to continue the never ending BM/BW friction, but is used as a social networking outlet. You see it's not entirely about you and Scoff, it's more about connecting with others and selfishly maintaining that connection. I hope you and Scoff will continue with your story, simply because I and others enjoy reading it. Are those who want to hear your story more important than those who don't?
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SEWilde says:Posted: 07 Oct 09Scoff/Sarah, Glad to see you have returned, after all, who's afraid of the big bad wolf? SE
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Laurelton says:Posted: 07 Oct 09Dear Scoff/Sara I want you to continue to post more fabrications. That replied showed me most of what you wrote was fabricated. My reference to sellout black women has been numerous. You were to busy cutting and pasting "stories" to titillate black women so you could feel good about yourself. Of course, my humble opinion. Good day
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Scoff/Sarah says:Posted: 07 Oct 09
We may just continue to post because it gives Mr. Queens such heartburn. Mr. Queens please explain, your referance to sell out Black Women.
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RYAN says:Posted: 07 Oct 09
I am a 22 year old white male who is only attracted to black women. i only have sex with and go out with black women no other race. i believe that brown and black skin is more physically attractive, and i am attracted to a ghetto personality, i guess becasue its the opposite of what i am.
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Laurelton says:Posted: 07 Oct 09Yea those "darn statistics". What are statistics anyway? I am an intellectual and "statistics" is a bunch of crap if you ask me. (sarcasm) Yea I would take the recollections of anonymous old people telling me there was a silver lining during the turbulent 60's in Alabama. Never mind my parents just might have been racist towards my "Negro" girlfriend. We just giggled our way through life drinking vanilla milkshakes. "Sounding like Tom Cruise from the movie A Few Good Men". Scoff I want the truth! Anyway, I am glad this ordeal was over. I couldn't take the cyber tears from the sellout black women.
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Ichibod says:Posted: 07 Oct 09" those statistics the moderator keeps dredging up from God knows where. Those things are full of holes" " I’d take the recollections of S & S. Typo’s and all." Yea, detractors aside.
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triccinicci says:Posted: 07 Oct 09
Seems as long as they have requests to hear their story that should be encouragement and audience enough, detractors aside. Besides, listening to their story sure beats out those statistics the moderator keeps dredging up from God knows where. Those things are full of holes, lol! If I had a choice and HAD to read one or the other, I'd take the recollections of S & S. Typo's and all.
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Scoff/Sarah says:Posted: 07 Oct 09
Pondering: Questions I now ask myself; How and why did I make the choices I made in my life. Do I really regret falling in love with a black girl at the age of 16. Why were we so afraid to go out for the whole world to know. Were we truly trying to protect each other from the wrath of family and society. When the sun goes down and I sit here on my front porch, alone knowing that my days left on this earth are numbered, I question on will God judge me. Did I or Sarah make the right moral choices, given the time and place we have no regrets. We may have suffered emotionaly, so be it. We can live with that, what we were not willing to do is bring scorn, embarressment, or any form of discomfort on our families. Both of us are not self centered indivduals, we always have put our families first. Life is a learning process, this site and comments are just another process that help us understand why and where we are at. The 13 months that I was in combat, I came to the conclusion, first there are no atheist in fox holes, second, there is no time for racism, when bullets are flying at you. Sarah had a habit of always looking at the clouds, when we were out, she wrote something for me one time that I will now share. What do see in the clouds I see animals, and castles in wisp they are gone. God is still here The weak of today are the strong of tomorrow God is still here In the blink of an eye today is yesterday God is still here Love is like a wisp of a cloud forever changing God is still here I know she will be upset if she ever finds out I put that on here, I just wanted to share it with a few of our friends. Sarah wrote that for me in 1969, before we left for school, I have cherished it every since, that day. I reminded her of it one day, her only comment was Scoff please we were so young and innocent then. Even today when I look at the clouds those words come to me. Okay enough of the mushy stuff, from an ol man, I really want to thank all you for listening to us. I can not express our feelings with words alone, so be assured that I would hug each and everyone of you, even Mr. Queens you know one of those man hugs lololo. May God bless all of you Scoff
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85kguy says:Posted: 07 Oct 09To Scoff and Sarah, Good luck to you. Good fortune and good health are wished for you. Best Regards
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godiva61 says:Posted: 06 Oct 09SEWilde, Well said my dear sister! I've been thinking about Scoff/Sarah's humilitation, and the blatant disrespect towards them here and I keep asking myself "why"? I do understand their reason for departing, even though I don't agree with it, but a part of loving people, causes us to love them enough to let them go.. Personally I wouldn't allow other's the satisfaction of forcing me to leave, but we are all different. Sixty plus years, a Decorated Vietnam Veteran, a Beautiful Woman, has been blessed by GOD to still be here on this earth, who found their way to this site, to be mistreated by people that's probably half in their age.. Behold the future!!! Stay strong and keep in touch! You can contact me via the e-mail that I left for Scoff/Sarah. love godiva
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SEWilde says:Posted: 06 Oct 09Scoff/Sarah, When I first discovered this site, and encountered the question of this blog, "Why White Men Love the Black Woman," and when I saw the beginning of Scoff's story of how your relationship started many years ago, I was intrigued, as your living history of 'his' account, and 'her' account, was in part the basis of the fictional novel I had written. On this site, I thought I would gain insight from white men, regarding their experiences with their black women counterparts, as to how and why they made the choices they did. Like you, Sarah, I had no idea that the recollections of you and Scoff, would be met with such hostility. Having married a white man many years ago, I totally relate to what you describe as the "emotional stress" you two encountered. I encouraged you and Scoff to tell your story, as I thought it was appropriate for this blog. Unfortunately, (to my horror and disgust) what it turned out to be was a ridicule and desecration of your love for each other, with accusations that a relationship of this type could never have existed during that time, and that somehow, you needed to 'prove' your past situation by answering certain questions, and by not doing so, you were deemed, "hard headed." I was not aware that, in order to share your personal history, your story, that it needed to be told by a professional writer. And as you are sharing your personal information, you have every right to state it in the manner in which you choose, albeit grammatically correct or not. You also have the right to leave out information you do not want to divulge, nor should you be denigrated for doing so. It warms my heart to know that you two are resuming your relationship after all these years. I am glad you shared your story. I for one listened, disregarding all errors. I had no need for knowing every single town or state this happened in, and I didn't need to know names, dates and exact times. It is my belief, that you two wrote from your heart, with no intention to distort the truth, only to share your IR story on this blog. I was not aware that your story needed to be told from the standpoint of an author writing a novel. It is indeed unfortunate, that still, to this day, that love between two people of differing races is met with such divisiveness. It would also be a shame to let those forces, that tore you apart so many years ago, continue to erode the love you both have for each other, as your love has truly stood the test of time. Love on, Scoff and Sarah. You both make each other happy, and that is what love is all about. Because if not now, then, when? I am glad that you were able to complete (as much as you could) your story, even under these adverse conditions. No one needs to endure such harshness in sharing the events of your life with perfect strangers. I do understand why you leave. It is indeed unfortunate. Everyone should be treated with dignity and respect, you were not. Instead, you were defiled, and treated with scorn. Thank you both for sharing your story. I wish you both the very best that life has to offer. With much love, deep respect and happiness, always, SE
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triccinicci says:Posted: 06 Oct 09
Scoff and Sarah, I am new to this community and though I did not follow your story completely, I felt the spirit of it was what your followers wanted. Can't you see all people need a guiding light? Maybe yours having stayed hidden will help their's to be an open flame. The importance, rather professional writers or not, is to share the parts comfortable to you with those who desire it. Rather they show it or not. No one has a right to demand it be a PERFECT story as none are. Further, if all you have to worry about is someone saying its PRESENTATION needs a little work, well you knew that when you put it out there and you were still willing to share it. That is HUGELY commendable. Writing is writng, rather the critics say good or bad. Since it was I who made the statement about the editorial of the story I don't mind saying why I made the remark. It certainly had nothing to do with spirit of your story. Those who followed it consistently hung on its every word. Type-o's included! Lastly, I believe, your story to BE part of the GENUINEness of fabric this site has to offer. As, yes there are different opinions, perameters and the like here, but you have carved a niche that is yours alone. Let that be root for others to grow from. I think it's important and I'm sure those who truly support you will protect that function. So be inspired, even if you go, you have touched those that needed the medicine your expressions brought. Besides that, it sounds as though you have cause to celebrate a fire finally rekindled. Its spark, growing an inpassioned flame from its own unbridled history! Let no one rebuke that this time around. Not even yourselves. Namaste and Blessings
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godiva61 says:Posted: 06 Oct 09
Ichibod, Hello! How are you and the family? I pray that all is well.... Yes, I am on IM. love godiva
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Ichibod says:Posted: 06 Oct 09Good luck to you Scoff and Sarah. Your prescence has been a delight. Take care and God bless! Hi, Sis! Are you on Yahoo IM?
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godiva61 says:Posted: 06 Oct 09
Scoff/Sarah, I am very happy to hear from you both, hope you are both well. I am so sorry to hear that you have decided to leave, however I felt in my spirit that you would come to this decision. I do wish that you would reconsider, but I will respect your decision just the same. It's unfortunate that you have been made to feel so uncomfortable here. I am truly sorry for that and I'm sure others feel the exact same way! We never know why something is placed in our hearts to express to others, so your reason(s) to share a part of your life with us, was just that, your reason(s), and that should have been sufficient enough to continue on with your story without ridicule and the attempt to assasinate your character(s)!!! For what it's worth, I am deeply saddened that at this stage in your life, referring to your age(not saying that you are old but you are older than most of us here), your age alone, regardless of the personal take and opinions of your story, should have been met with a minimal amount of RESPECT!! Respect your Elders!!! You know the word, "honor thy mother and father"..... I never believed, nor was I taught that this should only be applied to my parents!!! Thank you for trying to share your life with total stragers. Mostly, thank you for being decent human beings! Below is my e-mail, please stay in touch! I'm praying and believing that the rest of your life is better and more joyful than the early part of your life, you deserve it!!! The best is yet to come!!! love godiva You can e-mail me at oui2luv@yahoo.com
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Smooches2008 says:Posted: 06 Oct 09
Sarah, I hate to see you GO! However, if your being here is causing you stress then by all means. I just wanted you to know that your story was what this blog is about. I don't read the post out of having nothing better to do. I read them because it’s refreshing to know how other couples cope with the strains imposed on us by a narrow minded society. I wish you and Scoff all the peace and happiness that you deserve. Thank you for touching our lives with a story from yours!
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Scoff/Sarah says:Posted: 06 Oct 09
I never intended to be the main focus of this Blog, I see now that their is a wide variety opinions, or thoughts on Inter Racial Relationships. Yes I agree with some, others are way off, for anyone that has ever been invovled in a inter racial relationship; they know exactly what I'm trying to express. I see some want to question, how & why this happened to us. Believe me, I wished at times it had never happened to us, no one, well almost no one, can image the emotional stress that we went through. One reader mentioned that I or Scoff are not professional writers, I would think that would be obivious. I also noted that it was mentioned, that I may be posting this saga out of guilt. I have admitted that earlier, or I think I said it makes me feel good about myself. True the lack of details leave some to guess or speculate about a lot of events, emotions, or crisis we had in our three year relationship. Oh I could give all the steamy details about (@18) making love at the lake. Sorry, that is not my style, thats private, and should stay in my memories. Crisis, the two weeks of hell we went through when I was late on my period. In summary I have made up my mind to end my post, Scoff and I have a very comfortable relationship at this time being 61 years old, our goal is to keep our lives simple and stress free. Now to my last post and why I made up my mind to rekindle our relationship. I dropped my Scoff's place one afternoon my Grand daughter happened to be with me. The pretense was to pick up some pears, I ended up spending about two hours as we ended up having a late lunch. On the drive home my Grand daughter started asking some questions as any bright 9 year old will. First she asked if Mr. Scoff was black, of course I replied no he's Greek, and explained that he stays in the sun alot. Then she asked if Scoff is my boy friend, I again replied no dear he's just an old friend. At that time we were not engaged in any serious relationship. Alexis then fell silent for a few minutes, then out of the blue she made this statement, Nana, you should make him your boyfriend. Stunned, I asked why do say that, because you seemed so happy, and laugh alot when we were at his house. So out of the mouth of babes comes the truth. So to all I pass by blessings Love Sarah
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dannyco56 says:Posted: 04 Oct 09I am new to this site and I have read a few posts on here and thought I would share my thoughts on this subject of "Why white men love the black woman. I think we all agree that the first thing is primal. It is attraction! There has to be a physical attraction by the man to the woman. This attraction may be at the level of pure unbridled lust or just a strong physical attraction. If the woman notices the mans attraction and is attracted to the man also, either strongly or wiith unbridled lust then a relationship has an oppotunity to develope. But there has to be at least a strong attraction or the two will not have an opportunity to meet. I think it is lust that brings any woman and man together. I think love developes only after we have acted on our lustfull attraction to one another and have actually taken the step to make our intentions known or to break the ice with the one we have the lustfull attraction to so that we can get to know them. I think that a white man falls in love with a dark skinned woman for much the same reasons a white man might fall in love with a light skinned woman. Because she completes him! She is all that he wants, all that he needs. She is the beginning and the end of his life!
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triccinicci says:Posted: 03 Oct 09Thank you Meisha81. I think many of us should reflect on the positive we are acquainted with through self reflection. Sometimes it just takes a look in the mirror or our own family tree to get us started. My mother was my family's "historian" so to speak. We never realized she was giving us pieces of our legacy and a gateway to our future when passing on our oral matralineage. Because the old addage, "you don't know where you're going if you don't know where you came from" does apply in many cases. It certainly helped me understand bits of my character makeup. For example, I am entreprenuerial minded, a risk taker in business. I found out my genes hold clue to that purpose in my life. Turns out so were my grandparents and those greats I mentioned. So thank you again Meisha, I just whish I had my mother's wonderful abilities to give the inflection of color and setting in the telling. It always felt as though we could reach out and touch, taste and smell the world she would bring before us in her storytelling.
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triccinicci says:Posted: 03 Oct 0985kguy, Thank you for taking a moment to thoroughly explain what you wrote. In its original context, the way it was written, left the reader "unsure" of its exact meaning. Especially since the last remark was in its own paragraph, begin a new topic of thought and had no supporting statements corresponding to it. Which is ok because that is what OPEN communication is about. Naturally one has to make room for the less insightful. Still, for those willing to ask questions it permits the writer to answer. Open discourse is therby attained which may truly be the underlying score on why Sara and Scoff never brought their's to the public. 85kguy it sounds like your community was very supportive and illustrates a reason to come public. In my own history, honestly I might have different view points if I had found out I was the product of simple lust. I would have to take my cues from who was stronger in that type of relationship as to its overall meaning. You are not only lucky but quite blessed to have experienced a kaleidascope of exemplary human beings living lifestyles that gave back to the community that nurtured them. Scoff and Sara's story reminds me of the gritty mandingo lust stories made popular in the 70's. I don't get the moral edge of it. Nor do I understand what we are supposed to be learning from its telling. It certainly isn't young love standing against the odds of a world against them, more like young lust, wrong side of the tracks type of attraction. I've only read two entries so I could be wrong.
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meisha81 says:Posted: 03 Oct 09I just wanted to say that I liked Triccinicci & Mr. Laurelton Queens posts about their family backgrounds. I read your posts & they read like a story. Very refreshing! :)
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meisha81 says:Posted: 03 Oct 09I just wanted to say that I liked Triccinicci & Mr. Laurelton Queens posts about their family backgrounds. I read your posts & they read like a story. Very refreshing! :0)
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85kguy says:Posted: 03 Oct 09Hello SA Beauty, Secrecy can challenge the minds of readers. Scoff and Sarah should not understimate their audience. ********************* ** Hmmm..... 85kguy Enquirer Magazine (lol because fame has it's price) We interrupt this Bigfoot sighting story to bring you the following news special! ARE SCOFF AND SARAH RETIRED ALABAMA PUBLIC SCHOOL TEACHERS? ******* A CLUE!!!! ******* FROM: Comment by Scoff/Sarah on 16 September 2009: FROM SARAH: "My friend at work had noticed that Scoff and I were sitting closer to each other at lunch, not by each other but within a safe distance to carry on a conversation" ********** ******** 85KGUY: I asked myself where in "Bama" would a shadow relationship white man sit next to a shadow relationship black woman at lunch and carry on a conversation without drawing the feared suspicion, scrutiny, disapproval, backlash, and reveal? 1. It would have to be a small lunch area. That would give excuse for the seating arrangment. 2. Not many "Bama" adults could be around. The higher the number of adults around them would mean a greater percentage of those adults would be racist and make trouble. More adults around means a higher chance for disapproval and retaliation on the job. Retaliation could lead to termination. 3. The people in the lunch room would have to have a bond that contrasts that of others for Bama black/white to eat lunch together. I think that the only environment where Sarah's account could have taken place is somewhere like a teacher's lounge. Why: **Meets the requirement for a small lunch area becuase teacher's lounges are usually not large areas. Especially in a poorer southern state. **Teachers always would eat separate from students. **Teachers would bond and chat behind the closed doors of the lounge in contrast to the kids who eat in the school cafeteria. **Even in the teacher's lounge Scoff and Sarah would be careful not to sit too close together. **It would be acceptable for white Bama teachers to have lunch with black Bama teachers at an integrated southern school. ** Schools are integrated after Scoff and Sarah were college-educated (after Viet Nam War). ** Students do not all go to lunch during the same time or lunch period. Each grade usually eats at a different lunch period time. ** There would not be many adults (teachers) around in a teacher's loung during a specific lunch period. Only those who taught a certain grade, say 6th grade. Less than five teachers. **Sarah has retired from some job. We now return you to our regularly scheduled broadcast! I am sure that there are not many Greek school teachers employed between 1972 and 1985 in Bama school districts.
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Laurelton says:Posted: 03 Oct 09I get off track about my grandfather. He went to college in Michigan and got his Master's degree in math before the civil rights movement. I would have to research it more because my grandfather wasn't active in the civil rights movement. There is a misconception that all black people were active in the civil rights movement. That is not really true. Some just supported it financially or gave quiet support. Anyway, my grandfather left the United States after the bus wouldn't pick him up in the pouring rain. He was very successful in Jamaica and was a principal of a school. It is really a shame though. For all the talent my grandfather had he choose to take the path of least resistance. Then again, maybe he wouldn't have been that successful in America due to racism then from his Island where he was born and raised. My favorite book by the way is Marcus Garvey. He taught black people about 'self reliance". A doctrine many black Americans later took on. Unfortunately, many black American leaders at the time never cared for a Jamaican talking about "doing shit for yourself".
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Laurelton says:Posted: 03 Oct 09Dear Tricc I don't know the complete history of the south concerning black people come from foreign countries. My grandfather is Jamaican. He went to college in Michigan to get a master's degree in Math. He was a seventh day Adventist. One of the few religions that accepted black people at that period of time. Malcom's X's mother was a seventh day Adventist and his father was a Baptist preacher. Go figure, he would end up in an extreme movement like the Nation of Islam (which is tried to get away from towards the end). My grandmother is actually biracial. I am a dark skin man. My great great grandfather came from Scotland. He owned a lot of land in Jamaica. It is really hard to get your history down because older black people dislike talking about race. It is like pulling teeth. It is really not about race and color. It is about the motivation to date outside of your race. I sincerely believe people may see things in their "own race" that they would like to distance themselves from. Most white guys will tell you why they don't white women. Nobody gives a thought about it. I always found it disturbing when white women say " I have never dated a white boy in my life". They take on the mannerisms of black women and dress like them. You will rarely see that with black women. Black women tend to be comfortable in their identity even with a white man. The white man seems to conform to her black culture a little bit. Ich I don't know if posts are being removed. As for SanAntonioBeauty, you listen to gospel music and you would believe anything a man would tell you. I think you might be manipulated right now by a man to be honest with you. You just got that naive look. Good day
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85kguy says:Posted: 03 Oct 09Hello Triccinicci (Cool Handle!) I recently helped a black woman with a slow computer. I showed her that purchasing more RAM would make her computer as fast as a new one for less than 90 dollars. Knowing me she got the RAM installed and her computer is now whizzing along. She makes custom-craft dolls of all races. I built her a website for her business/hobby. Check it out! wwww (dot) adorablehandmadedolls (dot) zoomshare (dot) com
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85kguy says:Posted: 03 Oct 09Hello SA Beauty and Tricci, I have been given very risky acceptance here, even by Scoff himself. I appreciate that and want to acknowledge that. Here are my answers to questions. 1."Why is that 85Kguy? The part about them being fortunate they were not in your hood, that is?" A. I SAID I WAS FORTUNATE AND NOT THEM BEING FORTUNATE. B. My life and exposure would have been different if you replace Spencer and Mary with Scoff and Sarah during my young and formulative years. I would not have had the encouragement and the preparation to be the first black child in my southern integrated school district to win an academic contest (spelling bee)if not for IR Spencer/Mary. 2. "Do you think your town was small minded, open minded or that was just-in-your-mind(ed). Whatever the answer is." A. Virginia is a very progressive southern state with regard to IR relationships. B Virginai even elected Doug Wilder as the first black govenor in the United States. 3. "Another thing, why is “their” answer so important to “you” anway? Didn’t those people experience that before you were born?" A. Since Scoff/Sara are secret I still tried to like them. I do like them. Scoff like me so I like him back. I suspect he may have been a school teacher. Maybe Sara was also a teacher. B. I think since their identities are secret that it would be nice for them to "give blessings" to those coming along after their era in IR relationships. I think it would be interesting to see how they would react if one of their children or grandkids brought home a boy or girl of another race in modern Alabama. 4. "Why are you so hard on them? What justifies your thwarting of what they perceive is truth? I ask in true curiosity." I know that IR relationships (earlier era southern IR relationships) took place and not in the shadows. I gave names to validate my account. I know that Spencer could not be a mechanic at the white trade school because he married a black woman but married her anyway and that Mary married him anyway. The two boys were Vincent and Kenny. SINCE THEIR IDENTITIES ARE SECRET IT WOULD BE NICE IF SCOFF AND SARA SHOWED BLESSINGS AND APPROVAL FOR IR RELATIONSHIPS TODAY. I EXPECTED THEM TO DO THAT WEEKS AGO. SOUTHERN POLITICIAN (Governor and Senator from SC) STROM THURMOND HAD AN IR RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS BLACK MAID, BUT HE WAS AGAINST CIVIL RIGHTS, MLK, AND EQUAL RIGHTS FOR SOUTH CAROLINA BLACKS (and all blacks). THE BLACK MAID BORE HIS ILLEGITIMATE DAUGHTER. 1. Did Scoff and Sara ever have a child? 2. Do Scoff and Sara approve of IR relations today that are open and public? 3. Am I correct? Were Scoff and/or Sara school teachers?
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Ichibod says:Posted: 03 Oct 09"Google’s online library probably doesn’t have it..." Try a physical, brick and mortar library. They have black men there. It's a shame to see people who claim to be so educated have such a low level of reading comprhension and misinterpret quantifiers such as most, some, a few, "not all", and specifics like "my ex" or "the last few". They somehow believe that a person is speaking of everyone in a group. That happens far too often in these threads and shows that they are not better or no different than the person they are trying to correct. Tats put it best, "The blind leading the blind. And like my sister Godiva mentioned, what's typed here is pretty much permanent. I doesn't hurt to re-read a blogger's comments to make sure there is a full and proper understanding of what has been said. Also, it doesn't hurt to ask questions before assuming the worst about someone and making asinine retorts. Good to see you again, Julius.
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triccinicci says:Posted: 03 Oct 09Edit: "Their son (my MATERNAL great grandfather), was the exact replica of his mother’s face (which is like looking at my mother), got her height also and his father’s coloring. This same son married a woman of Native American ancestry. They are my grandfather’s parents. A very similar mix with my grandmother minus any Caucasian blood and the African lineage is much closer at one generation up in my great grandfather (matriarchal)."
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triccinicci says:Posted: 03 Oct 09Mr. Laurelton, I will have to check that book out. I once was an avid reader, lol! Now I just read life. Google's online library probably doesn't have it, but I'll check anyway. People are overlooking a very important element in the "telling" of Scoff and Sara's story. They are not professional writers. As much as they wish to convey the meaning, era and emotion their efforts thus far imply, they lack greatly in the skill to put it in written word. That does not make it untrue. Nor does excellent verbage and correct grammar in researched setting make it true. It's simply the heart of the matter. That is what one can gain from their story. Here's why: My mother is from the Southwest, my father, the Deep South. Both are products of interracial unions at points along their blood lines. My father, born and raised in Huntsville, Alabama was the child of a Frenchman from Canada (registered as white in this country) and a Haitain free woman. (My father was nearly 20 years my mother's senior). My paternal grandparents met, married and lived in Alabama. Did you know there was an entire community of Frenchmen who came to the Deep South during the mid to late 1800's early 1900's. Many of these implants often prefered black southern women to their white counterparts? FACT! Did it make the social implications any less difficult? My grandfather was deceased by the time my mother was introduced to my father's white aunts (they too were aged). My grandmother died back in the late 70's and obviously my granfather before then. I saw her only twice in my life as my mother hated the South and so did I. I was very happy to meet my relatives but equally happy to depart. Now my grandmother - I had never seen a person so dark. She had smooth, dark berry skin, beautiful hair and not a wrinkle but I knew she was old. Very old in my eyes. My mother's lineage is no different, if not more intermixed. She is the daughter of parent's whose equal lineages are out of Oklahoma communities of Native Americans and African Americans openly intermarrying. To boot my great-great grandmother is either Scottish or Irish (I believe Irish). What of this Mr. Laurelton? Do you know the history of Oklahoma? You wouldn't have any idea of why folks from Oklahoma settled in the southern desert of Arizona would you? Family lore has it my grandfather, a man who held each of us on his knee, shot and killed a white man. A question I put to the elderly man for the recording of our family history before his death. He remained silent. Now Mr. Laurelton, the epitomy of this is all involved in this historical repatriation of my maternal and paternal lineages were married. My grandfather was born the year Arizona became a State in the Union, 1912. We are talking his parent's and his parent's parents of which my great-great stood 7ft tall (Watusi Tribe - Africa) and his wife was the petite Irish/Scott woman. It'd be sorta hard for him to not be seen with that tiny white woman, ya think? Height back then meant a great deal, but I speculate heavily in not truly understanding why Sara/Scoff choose to hide theirs, apparently from what you write, and my paternal greats did not. Their son (my paternal great grandfather), was the exact replica of his mother's face (which is like looking at my mother), got her height also and his father's coloring. This same son married a woman of Native American ancestry. They are my grandfather's parents. A very similar mix with my grandmother minus any Caucasian blood and the African lineage is much closer at one generation up in my great grandfather (matriarchal). I am proud to come from this lineage of great people and great thinkers. It is part of what makes me the original person I am today. I fear no man. I feel blessed to be able to live without boundaries and to have the freedom of expressing my mind without limitation. I hope this helps you to understand a bit more. Many back then simply hid what my people lived out front in color even going further back. There are no stories, indications or implications that they hid. I have no information on the societal repercussions of their miscegenation. I am alive today so guess I bear witness they survived somehow, lol! Ah heck! REMEMBER THE ALAM- er - Romeo and Juliette!!!
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Laurelton says:Posted: 03 Oct 09Dear Tricc I am 31 years old. It was a different time back when I was a teenager. I don't lump all black women together. I just go off some of my experiences. I just give you the root of some of the anger that some black men display. At some point men outgrow it. I am just bothered by the mistakes some women make and they try to blame black men for it. If you have children by different men. How is it the fault of black men if you had kids with different men? I just see a lot of that lately. Now it's to the point that some women just automatically think the man will not be around. If love and compassion paid the bills than their would be a lot of compassionate men in the world. Society makes you aggressive and selfish. There is plenty of men eating at a soup kitchen and I am sure they are nice and compassionate. But women are not exactly knocking down their door to be with them. Lastly, I am a writer too. I like Scoff and Sara story when they mention things they leave out. But a love story in the segregated south is sort of unusual. It is not impossible. Then again I have never wrote a love story. I can't judge what is a love story. I can't recall ever reading a book interracial or black that expressed the romantic point of view of a man. I like Michael Baisdan and his book came pretty close to how I felt. Men cry in the dark. I thought that was as close to understanding how men think.
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triccinicci says:Posted: 03 Oct 09Edit: Yes, yes I can critique myself. That was 'ETHEREAL' (sans etheral), lol! Look hard enough you'll find a few more as my computer is running hogwashingly slow.
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I find men attractive who are masculine, respectful, and open. There are many unattractive men in every race. However, more often than not it is the black man who is insecure to the point he must bash black woman on the one hand and expect loyalty on the other. This kind of behavior shows him to be a weak man, disrespectful, closed minded, and unattractive. Yes, I have found many black men attractive in my life time, not here on this thread, however.