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Why white men love the black woman

Posted by James, 31 Aug

Ever wondered why some white guys, love black women so much?

It seems that being a white male and proclaiming your attraction to black women (not only sexually, but also romantically) may lead to a lot of controversial and dangerous things. Let’s leave the debate of why more black women may be opening themselves up to white guys. The main focus of this debate is: why some white guys are opening themselves to black women. Let’s concentrate on that.

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Most white males don’t feel like they are running short of white women to marry. White males just marry at high rates. So question is: Why black women? The thing is it will not be fair to bundle up black women as one since everyone is their own person… be it in appearance or personality.

However, one thing that a white male friend of mine said… and I let him get away with bundling it all up is: “We love a black woman's confidence, her tenacity and her undeniable achievements in the face of great adversity...᾿ Since this info was coming from a man, there was definitely the mention of the lips, the curves, and that wonderful skin as well.

So what about stereotypes like “black women are either sexually conservative or total sluts?" Many people give so much lip service to interracial dating sites. You would think they have never done it. But those uptight individuals are the ones that spread these stereotypes. What happened to the highly educated black woman? How about the caring, decent and involved black woman?

Probably most white guys and others are confused with the stereotypical trash people spread around and if you are one that falls for such lame ol’ lines, then you sure as hell haven’t dated a black woman.

Bottom line, you don't have to sacrifice who you are for a white guy. They will love you anyway. Just be you and open yourself up… and if you like white guys, some white guy will find you too.

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8097 responses to "Why white men love the black woman"

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  1.   scoff/sarah says:
    Posted: 11 Sep 09

    I'am addicted to this site now, and to think yesterday I admonished my daughter for being on the computer all the time. Big eyes, Godiva, Sewild, we have to get togeather sometime,with a bottle of white wine, oh my we would be dangerous. Luv you all Sarah PS I'm getting better with the text type my grand daughter is tutoring me lololo now I know omg, bc, btw, at 61 I'm enjoying life, and yes I'm twisting Scoff's arm he will post Bye for now Luv Sarah

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  2.   godiva61 says:
    Posted: 11 Sep 09

    scoff/ sarah, Good Morning and thank you! Be ENCOURAGED about your story as well!!! Scoff, did you ever get better in Algebra? Love you both! love godiva

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  3.   godiva61 says:
    Posted: 11 Sep 09

    SEWilde, Be ENCOURAGED about your book, always!! No doubt that your story will be inspiring, uplifting, and thought provoking, to some, to many, or to none at all, but isn't that the point of any story? The "who", the "what group" who reads your story is not of great importance!! If your story touches, uplifts, inspires one life or a million lives, then your story was worth being told.. I'm happy for you!! The best is yet to come! love godiva

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  4.   godiva61 says:
    Posted: 11 Sep 09

    bigeyes31, Natalie, no need to thank me, just said what I thought needed to be said to try and keep the peace, and to make her comfortable. Also, what I said about you is how I truly feel about you. You were not the only one posting while the President was speaking (lol). Did you see the guy who was on his blackberry texting the entire time that he was speaking? Very interesting!! Have a great weekend! No working for me this weekend, yeah me! love godiva

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  5.   scoff/sarah says:
    Posted: 11 Sep 09

    Sarah's blog I left off yesterday with us setting very close going over Scoff's last math test. As he studied the problems I studied him, his black wavy hair, the furrowed brow as worked each problem, Oh God I thought I can't feel this way, about a white boy, that's not right. Completing the last problem Scoff looked up with a big smile, my heart fluttered I was in love. Taking my hand Scoff,thanked me and introduced himself, as we had not even exchanged names, God I know in some sort croak I think I said Sarah, lololo. By now the rain had resumed so we sat in silence for a few minutes with occasionally commenting on the weather. With my hat off and the scarf removed, I almost felt naked,I don't really know why? With out thinking I began to put my hat on, when I heard Soff say oh Sarah don't put your hat on, your too pretty with out it. I replied oh please I'm just another colored girl out here in the fields with a laugh to cover my embarressment. No I really mean it Sarah I had no idea that under all those cloths an very attrative girl existed, I bet you have plenty of boys chasing you Scoff replied. Still a little flustered, I answered back thank you but I really don't have a boyfriend, but I bet you have all those white girls chasing you. With that damn smile (it still makes my heart do a little flip lolo) he laughed and replied oh not anyone special. This started a whole conversation, that lasted until dark about school friends family and any other subject that two 16 year olds would talk about. At last we knew we had better go before we had to walk home in the dark, parting Scoff looked into my eyes, and with a very serious expression Sarah I can never thank you enough for the help today, I still think your a very pretty girl. I still today remember what I said in return, Scoff your a nice and polite, white boy and I really enjoyed talking with you today. With that we parted ways, me in love with shivers running down my body, shaking my head why does he have to be white, smiling to myself thinking okay I'll be over this in the morning. All the time wishing the next day would start so I could see Scoff again. Okay so thats how it started, it's Scoff turn to tell his version, yes I'll make him, if bare all he will too lololo. Godiva love yu lady,bless all Sarah

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  6.   bigeyes31 says:
    Posted: 11 Sep 09

    Wow, Ms Godiva Thank you so much for supporting me in such an eloquent way! You said exactly what I was trying to say but so much better. I knew early on that you were reasonable minded person. You are so very good at seeing both sides of things and I attribute that well-rounded people. Thanks sister for having my back. I read back over my response and realize it wasn't clear, so I tried to fix it. Hey, that's what I get for trying to watch the president's address to congress and post at the same time,lol. I used to think I could do two things at once,lol. Anyways Ms G, take care of yourself and others. Peace and Rest unto you!

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  7.   talisman says:
    Posted: 11 Sep 09

    i thought the article was politically correct bullshit..."achievments in the face of adversity ?... no its quite simple and straightforward...its the strong sexual attraction that exists between the white race and black race....

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  8.   julius26 says:
    Posted: 11 Sep 09

    Dear Sewilde i have just read what you said about your upcoming book and it seems likely to me you will be preaching to the choir with that book.

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  9.   85kguy says:
    Posted: 11 Sep 09

    Hello Dominique, I want to give you my blessings on your current relationship. You have been "bright sliver" in your communications. They have informed, communicated, and clarified any misunderstandings and ignorance on my part. Maybe you and your boyfriend will pass by a black guy married and with a child one day. He will stop, compliment your child, and make friends. Goodbye and I hope and feel confident that you and your boyfriend will have a blessed and wonderful future. Wit you Afrocentric neosoul self!!

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  10.   Dominique says:
    Posted: 11 Sep 09

    To 85kguy, The reason why the black girls aren't with the white guys is because of the way the people at the school are. Sad but true. Also, my guy has bever had a relationship with his dad. And his grandparents basically raised him. And he does have a job which he says he is proud of because he wants to be able to do things for me. I don't think that I look like a fool being that his father has pretty much been an anonymous bank for him anyway and I really care about him despite our differences. It's just so much drama and race may break us up as sad as that is. I'm willing to try to make it work though But, I don't think that I'm his mistress, slave girl or niglette. I haven't even had sex with him but, I understand what you're saying. What happened to my black suburban boyfriend was that he judged me based on religion. He basically introduced me to sexual things but, just because he went to a Christian camp over the summer, he tried to tell me how wrong it was (which I knew and so did he) and he started viewing me as the "sinful" one so, we basically broke up over religious differences. Also, I know how he is. He would have been the exact one pushing me to have sex with him or do alternative things again. He was a hypocrite. To SEWilde and godiva, Thanks for the help and everything. This whole IR thing is just so new to me and my situation is a lot more complicated than just other people viewing us as something. It comes from within our relationship also. Two people very secure in their culture- me, Afrocentric and him, southern. But thanks for all your help guys. Everyone that has commented to my posts. Bye

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  11.   SEWilde says:
    Posted: 10 Sep 09

    Ms. Godiva, Thank you for your welcome. It is greatly appreciated! I hope to enjoy many more interesting, and thought provoking posts on this site. Have a fantastic day! With much peace, love, and respect, always. SE

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  12.   SEWilde says:
    Posted: 10 Sep 09

    My Dear Sarah, I am so happy to see this part of the story. When I first came onto this site, the original article is from 07 (I think) and after scrolling down to find the most recent addition of the blog, I saw the first part of the story from Scoff. He said you would tell your side of the story. I was looking for that, when all of a sudden, there was a thunderstorm of controversy. I kept scrolling, trying to find your part, as your partner said you would have your say, but all I got was more stormy weather. I tried to find the origin of the storm, but could made no sense of the situation, and then other conversations continued, interspersed with, anger, accusations, name calling, and in general, bad behavior and disrespect for one another. I didn't know what happened or why, I just knew to keep my head down low, as rapid machine fire and bombs were going off. I don't know what that was about, and I don't need to know. (I got the gist of the conversation.) I prefer to just move forward, and stay out of the line of fire. (If that's possible.) Disclosure: So that there is no misunderstanding, this is just an observation, and not an accusation, and does not apply to all participants on this site. So, Sarah and Scoff, please do continue the story. I look forward to the latest installments, although I am not sure if this is the forum for your material. My only problem with your story being on this site, is in keeping track of the most recent episode, as there are many other conversations going on in between your installments. You and Scoff get lost in the shuffle. Sometimes, I am on this site often, and sometimes I don't see it for days, and when there are multiple conversations going on, I miss your story. I was glad to be able to catch this part, and hope I don't miss the new upcoming chapters. As for spell check, I can tell you that when words are misspelled, there is a 'dotted red underline' that appears under the word. To make the correction, you 'right click,' then 'select' the proper word, and the system will automatically correct it for you. (It does not help if you say, 'there,' but mean 'they're' or 'their,' which is another story for another time.) As I am a Business Major and not an English Major, grammar and punctuation is another story entirely. I might be able to offer some assistance, but I would never attempt that subject in this forum, as I don't think this is the place for that type of correction. Suffice it say, I do enjoy the story. Keep up the good work! My book goes to the publisher tomorrow, and I hope they have it released before the end of the year. It's a 3 to 4 month process to completion. I wish you and Scoff much peace, love and happiness. SE

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  13.   godiva61 says:
    Posted: 10 Sep 09

    SEWilde, I want to take the time out to welcome you as well, Welcome! I appreciate your explaination to Domonique.. We do lead by example, don't we? Kudos to you.. love godiva

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  14.   godiva61 says:
    Posted: 10 Sep 09

    Ms. Domonique, First and foremost, welcome aboard.. I apologize for not welcoming you, it was not intentional. I want you to feel comfortable and relaxed here and I for one would never intentionally cause you to feel otherwise. I want to try and take my little sister, Natalie aka bigeyes31, out of the line of fire. One of the things I love about Natalie is she has this ability to be honest and she is very tactful and graceful in doing so. This is a characteristic that I admire not only in Natalie, but all women. This is why I asked Natalie the question that I did, pertaining to your original post. I knew she would give me an honest answer and also I sometimes, for my own benefit, I will ask another person their take on a conversation so I don't assume the wrong thing. I take this appraoch in my everyday life and especially here because the "assumption's" can lead to unecessary verbal nonsense. In a sense, Natalie was trying to clear up her answer to me so that I would not misconstrue as to who she was speaking about. That is why she replied, edit, NOT Domonique. Both Natalie and myself and many other's have seen the craziness that comes about on this site when certain thoughts are assumed, it can become quite ugly and childish to say the least. I just wanted to make sure that we were not missing something by not replying to your original post, so that is why I asked, it didn't appear to me that you were seeking a response. I hope this sheds a new light, and I'm hoping that you will alway's feel comfortable here on this site.... love godiva

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  15.   godiva61 says:
    Posted: 10 Sep 09

    sarah/scoff, I was praying for your return, again my prayers have been answered... Thank you so very much for sharing your story, I appreciate it more than you know... I can't wait until the next chapter in this story but I guess I'll just have to be patient(smile).... I hope that you both had a great day and thanks again for making my day. It's people like the two of you who makes the world a little brighter. My grandmother used to say, "it's the little big things in life that mean the most". All the best to Scoff and Sarah!! love godiva

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  16.   scoff/sarah says:
    Posted: 10 Sep 09

    Sarah's blog: Sewilds, thank you so much after reading your comment, my comfort level has moved up a few points. Yes write the book, I'll be the first one to read it. Now back to Scoff and our first encounter, please referance the earlier post as to what had transpired that day. Oh any way to bring you up to date, a hot summer day, mid-afternoon thunder storm, all the workers gathered under a huge packing shed. The cooling wind from the rain storm has everyone relaxed, being an avid reader I had secured a small niche among the crates and got lost in my latest book. Not paying attention to the time or anything else that was occurring so to my surprise when I finally looked up all the workers had left to go home during a break in the storm. Surveying the area I noted a white boy asleep on a stack of burlap bags and packing crates. At first I started to just leave, then on a second thought, I decided to wake him up while their was a break in the rain, believe me this decision had a major impact on the rest of my life. Approaching the white boy I noticed that he had dropped a math book,and several folded papers next to him. Picking up the book and papers, I saw that it was an Alegbra book and what appeared to be a final exam,with a very big red f marked across the top. Examining the test it was obivious that this boy had major problems with Alegbra, kinda laughing to myself I saw that he had missed several concepts in solving the problems. Dismissing the test and all that with another chuckle I put the papers in the book. Then I made that fatal mistake of studying the boy laying their asleep. I knew he was white but he stayed in the sun so much he was almost as dark as me. I was literally hyptized by his Greek God like appearance, the wavy black hair,a very well toned and musclure body. As I'm sure most young ladies have expierenced, I felt a wave of heat rise within me,(too many hormones at a young age) shocked by body's reaction I had to step back regaining my wits, I thought to myself this is a white boy I'm not suspose to have that kind of reaction. Shaking my head I turned again to leave, then I realized I still had the book in my hands. I tip toed back up to him and gently layed the book back on the floor, stepping back I thought oh what the heck I'll just wake him and leave. Standing as far back as I could I reached and poked his shoulder as I spoke boy, hey boy the rain has stopped you may want to go home. My sleeping Greek God roused a bit, and slowly opened his eyes, oh my I fell in love (yes in love)I looked into those deep blue eyes I was a lost 16 year old colored girl in south Alabama. Fully awake now he sat up and faced me, commenting good grief what time is it, answering back with a shoulder shrug as I didn't have a watch, (actually I think I was speechless). Now it was his turn to study me, God I felt so ugly in an oversized shirt, floppy straw hat, topped with a scarf around my neck. Again feeling the heat permanate through my body I had to get this shirt off, as I unbuttoned my shirt I montioned around the packing shed commenting that all the other workers had left. Scoff continued eyeing me, as he thanked me for not leaving him their. Pointing to the Alegbra book I mentioned that I had put the papers back inside it. This brought an very loud groin from him as he said s---, I've got to get this stuff down or I won't play no ball next year. After a long pause, on both our parts, (really we were just checking each other out,lololo) I responded with you know most of it but you are missing two steps in solving the problems. Again their was was long pause, finally Scoff asked you must of looked at my last test. I acknowledged yes when I put them back in the book. With a puzzled look on his face Scoff asked you colored people study Alegbra in school, returning the surpised expression back I blurted why yes I'm already in Alegbra 2. Scoff picked up the book opening it he pointed to one of the problems he had missed on the last test, stepping closer but still what I felt was a safe distance I explained how to work the problem. Pointing to another missed problem Scoff asked and same thing this one right. Forgetting the distance our faces were very close, again I felt my heart flutter, and never in my life I've I felt a desire to kiss some one as much as I did then. Thank God I didn't I would of been so embarressed. By now I had removed by shirt and all of my young womanhood was barely hidden by a cotton t-shirt, our arms were touching, our faces were close, remember I had never in my life touched a white male in any form or fashion, or had any conversation to any extent with one. I know this is long so I'll break it up into two sections ; the grammer police I know will have a field day , so please not too brutal I wrote this in a hurry I love all of you Sarah, Godiva, a specal blessing for you can anyone tell me how to use a spell check on this I miss that the most Again all my love Sarah

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  17.   85kguy says:
    Posted: 10 Sep 09

    Hello Dominique, Love Ya! I am just saying that it is odd that (I get the impression) none of the black girls are dating white boys at your school. At the same time you have decided to date one that has certain supportive beliefs (and I get the impression) about the confederate flag. When the confederate flag is brought to school with a noose it is not there as a novelty. Yet he see and is one involved in supporting the flag displayed when (the flag) was displayed in tandem a noose. I heard you when you said that "black guys" there "only date white women." If that is so then the school environment is (I get the impression) not segregated. Are white girls are dating black boys openly? If that is the case in tandem with black girls not dating white boys then it is hurting the white men there. Lowering their self esteem. Jealousy may make one take racist action out of hurt, bring a noose and a confederate flag. Black males getting dates with white girls and them (white males) not getting dates with black girls. WHAT I THINK IS WRONG: You are called upon to be like a mistress not a girlfriend. You must hide from the father who provides perks. Your man has told you he must (and will) deny any dealings with you to his father. If the father is in town you cannot be around. Like a mistress or some slave shack girl on the plantation. So; one of the prettiest black girls in school must hide and not be seen in public if the father is around, or visits school. If he is not ready to proudly declare to "everyone" his love and committment to you then you are better off without him. This guy needs some competition. No prom pics for Dominique! Dad might see them! What happened to your dates/boyfriend in the suburbs prior to moving to the country? You met the family and you need to be discrete. They want you to hide and be discrete. Their reason is blamed on the only family member who is not there. What a coincidence! It's like we're not racist, just the dad who is not here. He has a standing in the community. He needs his phone and car and does not want to get a job so his woman can have dignity. You are looking like a fool here.

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  18.   SEWilde says:
    Posted: 10 Sep 09

    Dominique, I must apologize. I don't think I worded my comments properly. My book, "Flames of Passion: The Passionate Love Affair of Michael and Kaye" is slightly erotic, and not necessarily a book I would recommend to someone in high school. Although, it is about an IR couple who love each other desperately, but due to family, friends, and societal pressure, they have difficulty staying together. Regarding my obscure reference to Bette Davis, (no she was not in an IR movie) she was a movie star of the 40's, 50's and 60's, though. I was referring to her line in the film saying, “Fasten your seat belts; it’s going to be a bumpy ride,” simply means just that - that things are about to get rough (if they have not already) between you and your new friend. In high school, regular relationships can be very challenging to begin with, and in an IR relationship, there is an extra added strain. High school in and of itself is very drama driven, and add in raging hormones, attitudes, gossip, and a range of unknown factors from students, make for a toxic mix of emotions. (not to mention the differences between you and him) I am new to this site, and I tread ever so lightly, as not to offend anyone. I do not contribute if I don't have anything to say, and I don't necessarily jump into a conversation that doesn't pertain to me. I do not care to be confrontational, and I do not call anyone names. I think it's important to treat everyone with respect, and I expect to be treated with respect in return. I have seen some mean spirited comments on this site, but I do not participate in those conversations. I personally, am not looking for trouble. I hope this clarifies what I have stated above, and if not, feel free to ask me again. Patience would required on your part, if you do ask for a reply, as I am not necessarily on this site on a regular basis. I hope this helps. I wish you and your friend, peace and love. SE

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  19.   bigeyes31 says:
    Posted: 10 Sep 09

    Dominique Did you not read the addendum? I was not talking about you instigating...? I was referring to the insinuation that you were possibly not getting a response because women on this board were some how jealous or catty made by someone else. If you read down, I posted a clarification that I was not refferring to you. There ARE some people looking for trouble and THAT is what I was trying to point out in my response about the instigation. People read everything carefully and don't internalize everything and I will try to be more clear in what I type. I'm calling for a joint effort. No one is viewing you as a trouble maker btw. Peace

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  20.   Dominique says:
    Posted: 10 Sep 09

    To 85kguy, Are you saying that the all th other black girls at my school are right and I am wrong and if so, about what? The guy I am with? I mean, I'm sure they know things about him that I do not know and I'm sure it is the same with me-I know things about him that they don't know. And are you saying that me being with him is hurting black boys? I doubt it, they only date white women. I'm not being rude, I'm just telling you how they are. We have talked and he doesn't really talk to his father at all. His father just provides some things for him like his car and paying his cell phone bill. And because we can't see eye to eye when it comes to each other's culture because he is not black and I am not white, we just have started avoiding the subject. But, I really want to get past that though. Oh,and about the heavy metal thing, I listened to that before I ever dated a white guy. I just like it. But that doesn't mean I'm against soul...haha. After all, I do love NeoSoul too... To SEWilde, Thanks for the advice. Also, why can't I read your book until I'm 21? Is that a law? Also, I didn't know Bette Davis was in a movie about IR relationships. And also, I wasn't instigating anything. I just wanted feedback. I think some people on this blog are looking for trouble...it's so sad that I can't even get on a site and ask for advice about something that is new to me without being viewed as a troublemaker...oh well

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  21.   Member says:
    Posted: 10 Sep 09

    Dear Mocha I am on twitter Via my blog http://www.mrlaureltonqueens.blogspot.com/

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  22.   bigeyes31 says:
    Posted: 10 Sep 09

    edit: not from domique.

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  23.   bigeyes31 says:
    Posted: 10 Sep 09

    Hello godiva! Sorry about the johnny come lately response lol. I to work in the healtcare industry and understand that we don't get "holidays" off. Open for business 24/7. Anyways I hope you are doing well and getting enough R&R. Being called bigeyes doesn't offend me at all if that helps any,lol. I love them. Dominique has explained herself so I'll only say that I didn't notice a request for a response. I did see, however a tiny bit of instigation. Peace

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  24.   Bumpslick says:
    Posted: 10 Sep 09

    Hello Everyone, Hope everyone is enjoying their dating experiences on the site so far. Im dying tosee a photograph of the one and only Mr Laurelton Queens...Can u please post a pic of you sir ? Thanx !

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  25.   larry says:
    Posted: 09 Sep 09

    Asians are also very intelligent and beautiful figure etc. Some white woman with dark hair with light eyes also finds many man sexy.

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  26.   larry says:
    Posted: 09 Sep 09

    I love asian woman because their personality sparks to my attention and not all white woman are terriable. It's all about who you meet.

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  27.   85kguy says:
    Posted: 09 Sep 09

    Praise to Laurelton, Well written post to Josh, very descriptive, very vivid!

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  28.   85kguy says:
    Posted: 09 Sep 09

    Hello Dominique, There is me. I was at the mall in TX. I passed a young interracial family. They looked and I looked first. When they looked, especially the woman (young) and very, very, very pretty. I looked away. She was prettier than any young black/bi young woman in the mall. To a lot of folk it just looks like black beauty on the female side and black beauty or money on the male side of these relationships. That part of as it is called "coloring outside the lines" has not changed in over 200 years. It is unfair for black/bi partners. People can trace them in their obvious heritage. Others are recessive. Their genes cause their offspring's appearance to match that of the white parent. So any racial abandonment cannot be traced. Soooooooo, blacks can track very easily who is thinking of them and who is not. An embarassing disadvantage for blacks who covet whites. One day I am going to walk up to such a family instead of looking away. Compliment the child. Try to make friends. However, for blacks is like giving a black widow spider a ride on your shoulder. Like a cat playing with a dog. The dog will try to tear the black to shreds. They want all black beauty and assets to flow to their benefit and pleasure. There was a movie about the numbers game in Harlem. The white mafia came in to take over and started killing the resistant blacks. The numbers game was the predecessor to the lottery. More whites are going to approach for sex and money, like bull daggers in a prison yard. A relationship with a rebel flag worshiping white male. Admittedly so according to your narrative. He has no worldly exposure and his family father is obviously known to local blacks as a racist if he knows his father is a racist and tells that to you. Imagine how blacks who have suffered, maybe because of this son's father feel at your school, you dating the son of an active racist. 1. He keeps his racist flag worship (white boyfriend). 2. He hides his woman (you his niglette) from his racist father, thus keeping his own racist identity approval in the eyes of his father. Not being a racist or jealous myself. How can you say that this is the right one? 3. All I am saying is that "all' of the black girls except you cannot be wrong in that school. Conclusion: Interracial dating in your environment is wrong because it is degrading in respect to the boys and girls with regard to their limited and piss poor interracial dating options. There may be lots of black girls there who would date interracially, they just don't want slave mush. I am sure the white girls all are taught that they are too good for black boys, contributing heavily and on purpose to local black young male lack of esteem and causing them untreated bad behavior problems in later in life. FREDRICK DOUGLASS SAID (hey, we got Bette Davis, why not (lol) "One way the slaves were treated as animals was how they were fed. Their food was “put into a large wooden tray or trough and…the children were then called like so many pigs…to devour the mush; some with naked hands, and NONE with spoons.” You have no identity with what widescale dating exclusion is doing to local black boys. That is wrong. Maybe the boy just sees you as a prettier pig. Unless he handles the points I numbered..............

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  29.   Member says:
    Posted: 09 Sep 09

    Dear Josh I don't speak bad about "Queens". I think in some cases for white men their only interaction with black women is on college campuses. My interaction with black women is on college campuses, your local ghetto, middle class and upper class neighborhoods. You mentioned black women ignored me growing up. I was never a player or had "a lot" of women. I always had 1 girlfriend up until my 20's. Then after college I did date "many" women. I guess you can say that makes up for the years in high school I never had women. I am actually shy people don't realize that. In my high school the black girls dated thugs and men in their 30's. Yea Negros came to my higschool with Escalades, Navigators, BMWs. This was during the 90s when drug money was real good. I grew up in Jamaica Queens. Yea I saw Nas and Busta Rhymes dating girls from my High School. That is the misconception about black men. That we hate black women. I don't hate them but they can't cry and complain when you "fall off". You get fat and sloppy and want to make black men feel guilty for not dating you. Yea you had your opportunity to snag a well off negro when you was younger. Young and cute, now your middle aged and washed up and have several children by different men. I am not trying to be harsh. I worked hard to get to where I am at. Black women don't respect black men that got a degree. They say we are with white women. Well, white women obviously think educated black men are worth something. All you doing is whining and complaining. Lastly, this whole white man thing they doing. Just another meal ticket because they "are trying to hang on". They want attention from black men. To say look at me ' I got a "white sucka paying my bills". There is good black women. They just are "career college students". They will talk about college at a date and shit. They will talk about their girlfriend and sororities on a date. I am not "Stedman". I will go to their parties but that is about it. Good day to everyone.

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  30.   scoff/sarah says:
    Posted: 09 Sep 09

    we love you big eyes the voice reason

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  31.   scoff/sarah says:
    Posted: 09 Sep 09

    Our memoir's With all the encouragement, I've talked this over with Sarah; as I mentioned several times before we are both very private people, however her and I both have got so much out of sharing our saga that we will continue posting. Although we realize that not all are interested in hearing about us, so please if this not what you want to hear just scroll through it. This week Sarah is coming over ( our date night) lololo She is really anxious to finish up the math story, Bless all of you Diva, Tatt, Ich, just too many to name you all.. We truly send all of our love and blessing. Love Scoff/Sarah

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  32.   SEWilde says:
    Posted: 09 Sep 09

    Dominique, I am new to this site, but not new to interracial dating. There is always controversy when one colors outside the line, always. As a black woman who dated white men in the 70's, I think things were worse then. As a mother of bi-racial children older than you, I cannot offer advice, but I would like to tell you to take care of yourself. I have written a book about a white man, black woman, and the things they go through during their relationship. You can't read it till you're 21, but it meant for all people who love someone from another, race, religion, age...fill in the blank. Bette Davis, in her 1950 film entitled, All About Eve. The quote that I love from the movie is this: "Fasten your seat belts; it's going to be a bumpy ride." I wish you peace and much love. SEWilde

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  33.   85kguy says:
    Posted: 09 Sep 09

    Hello Dominique, It is good that modern dating is coming to rural Tennessee! I have a saying: "You have to win them over to win! (made it up myself) I hope that your beau wins over his old buddies. And I hope that your diversity rubs off on him. God Bless! PS Heavy Metal??? Girl, you better put on some Al Green! lol

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  34.   Dominique says:
    Posted: 09 Sep 09

    To reply to 85kguy, I'm not one to say that I am prettier than other black girls but, ones that I encounter turn their nose up at me and they usually do that out of jealousy so, I guess they think I am prettier than them. I've also had other people to come up to me and tell me that I'm pretty (blacks and whites) but, I honestly do not think that of myself so. And also, to answer your other question- I honestly do not know how the Asians and Hispanics at this new school I am attending operate. However, at the school that I went to before, which was outside of where I live now, the Asians hung around the whites (and maybe due to the fact that there weren't as many Asians at the school) and the Hispanics hung around the Hispanics. As far as the dating went, the Asians would not really date (or atleast that I know of) but, the Hispanics dated Hispanics. No one has really mentioned Steve McNair so, I doubt he has anything to do with the problems. It seems as though the school that I am now attending had some racial problems of their own before I came along and due to the fact that it's almost in the country, I don't doubt anything racial that happens. To julius27, Your female friend may be right. Certain things he says give me an indication that he may still be a little racist towards black people. The race argument (which we have had before) and certain comments that he makes. And I've been around plenty of racist people in my life to know when someone is a racist. One thing I do not have to do is live with this. I'm free to be who I am and I should be free to be proud of my culture without being bashed by someone who I am in a relationship with. You know? And he says that he is glad that I am into my culture but, what he calls his culture (Confederate this and that) is pretty disturbing to me. I just don't know...

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  35.   TLPKyle says:
    Posted: 09 Sep 09

    Stumbled across this article when doing a google search and thought I'd add my thoughts on this matter: Simple answer: I don't. I don't prefer a race of women or a certain ethnic group. The one issue for me is religion. Almost all of the black women I meet are Christian and they take it very seriously. I am an atheist and in a long term relationship, I think that the two people should share the same views on something as simple as God (does He/She/It exist or not?). Religion is very important when it comes to compatibility. I am an Atheist but most black and white American women are Christian. I can't say that all of them are very serious about it, but I am willing to bet most are. I have lived in Europe (mainly France and England as I speak both languages) in the past and it's much easier for me to find someone who isn't very religious, if at all. I am aware that my position is one of minority as most men regardless of ethnicity or race in America are probably Christian. I'm just stating my reason as to why I have not and probably will not date a black woman. If I had to pick one thing I like about black women (remember a generalization and not true for everyone)... it would be that they are strong. Racial discrimination is alive and black people have to face a ton of obstacles in life. Very different from what I experienced growing up... I had a pretty good upbringing in an upper-middle class neighborhood. I didn't get much from my parents because they thought I should work for it but I knew girls who were spoiled growing up... their parents would get them a car for their 16th or 18th birthday, almost all of them were in private schools and whenever they wanted something, they'd get it instantly. I'll check back here occasionally because it's a pretty interesting topic, even though there are many rude comments, stupid comments, etc... Oh - sorry for grammar, spelling, punctuation and general structure of the comment. I didn't spend very much time writing it because I am (and was) multi-tasking.

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  36.   85kguy says:
    Posted: 08 Sep 09

    Dominique, I guess since you lived in Nashville so you know about that part of Tennessee. Seems blacks are isolated and not socially welcome or uncomfortable there. There is usually a good reason. Open racism actions have occurred on campus initiated by an outsider. Blacks in the school district have jobs, not economic problems. When Asians and Hispanics come are they with whites or blacks? Dating Socializing closely , which one? ***Are you prettier than the other black girls?? What happens when an Asian or Hispanic boy comes? Do they date white girls? The racial actions may have been retaliation for Air McNair having an affair with a White woman. Are the time frames closely related?

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  37.   julius26 says:
    Posted: 08 Sep 09

    Dear dominique i have a black female friend who date white guys and one hers favorite saying was just because a white guy goes out with a black woman does not mean he is not a racist

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  38.   Dominique says:
    Posted: 08 Sep 09

    Thanks for the replies 85kguy, bigeyes31 and tatted2death. They are very much appreciated. I honestly just wanted to see what everyone else thought of the situation but, I guess it's good that you all think that I'm headed in the right direction. And to reply to the other person who posted something about me; yes, I am a newcomer to this site. I wanted to see if there were any sites that were dedicated to IR relationships. I never looked for it before because I was never in an IR relationship. To respond to 85kguy's post, I am newer to the town and most of the kid's parents are either wealthy and/or farmers. Many parents work outside of the town because it is so small and newly developed. It's basically a country town on the verge of the suburbs. They're trying to make it more suburban. Previously, I lived in the suburbs and I faced racism but, it disappeared and now that I'm in this town and dating a white guy, it has seemed to reappear. I must say that I do have bad news about me and my guy. We got in this huge argument over race because racial problems occurred before I attended the school but, I had heard of them occurring at that exact school. So, I asked him if he was part of that. (By the way, my boyfriend used to be racist so, thats another reason I asked.) It was basically because this guy from New York had a rebel flag and noose on his car. So they tried to ban the rebel flag. Well, little to my knowledge, my boyfriend was responsible for them not banning it. He told them he was against the noose but, that the rebel flag was a cultural thing and not racial. Well, I had to tell him what I thought because I am SO against the flag. Then, the argument got even more heated and we were both super pissed. I basically told him that ever since I moved to the county that I now live in (I basically lived in Nashville before) I have experienced racism. But I think we're ok now.

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  39.   tatted2death says:
    Posted: 08 Sep 09

    Dominique.... your post was well put together and seemed more informative than anything else. If anything I saw it as serving as a lesson to other young women out there who might be in a similiar situation. It didn't seem like you needed a whole lot of input. Most of what you posted gave me the impression that you had "your head together". So please don't let it get twisted by some in here that obviously want to stir the pot. Bigeyes hit the nail in her explanation.....this was a holiday weekend and many people were simply away from their computers/had limited time to respond. I wish you continued success in your relationship and in all that you wish to accomplish with your life.......you certainly seem to have a bright future and of that you should be proud. So please don't ever seek the validation of others when it comes to your happiness. As long as your are not hurting anyone and you feel positive about what your are doing, go with your instincts and DON'T second guess yourself. This is the way I have lived my life and I honestly have NO REAL REGRETS. I know you may or maynot have been seeking advice but I had to offer on the grounds that not doing so might make me seem "catty"......J/K.....I know you know better...lol. Peace and Blessings tatted2death.

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  40.   85kguy says:
    Posted: 07 Sep 09

    Hello Dominique, I had a question. It is not about the IR. I was wondering what you know about this part of Tennessee and why everyone else at your school is segregated in their dating relationships? The power of the father is to cut your boyfriend off. It makes me think that whites there enjoy financial opportunities superior to blacks. In a lot of towns blacks are locked out of wealth. You are not from the town. Are you prettier than the other black girls? Anyway, your boyfriend was nice before and better than any other boy at school. That is what is important!

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  41.   godiva61 says:
    Posted: 07 Sep 09

    Natalie, I'm still having a wee bit of difficulty with calling you bigeyes(lol).. Thanks for remembering that some of us did not get this holiday off. In my line of business, we are never closed, period.. Actually I have been at work since saturday(my on call weekend). I did sneak home for a while on yesterday just to get away from the noise and the bizzare(full moon patients), so I spent the weekend with the reincarnation of Frank Sinatra, Julius Caesar and Spider Man.. Needless to say, "there is no place like home"!!!! I just wanted to let you know that I think that your response to "Domonique" was appropiate and thoughtful including the reason(s) for the lack of responses, which really is a "no brainer". However there is something about this that's gnawing at me, a little bit. I can't pinpoint my exact feelings as to why. Maybe it's because I'm still in the ER, asking many questions state of mind. Domonique posted a comment on September 6 and not once did she mention that she was a newcomer to this site, not that stating that you are a newcomer is a requirement, but ususally it's mentioned when you are a newcomer... Her post was informative, and yet it didn't appear that she was seeking a "response", so I guess my question to you, since you did respond to her, did it seem to you that she was seeking a response??? I guess that's why when she commentted the very next day about "not getting replies", it seemed a bit odd.. A newcomer expecting a response within 24hrs????? Newcomer or not, my question is "does every comment that's posted here, warrant's a response"?? Maybe it's me! Have a wonderful Tuesday! love godiva

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  42.   Josh says:
    Posted: 07 Sep 09

    Mr. Laurelton Queens you are a bitter person. I bet you were ignored by black women while you were growing up and this is why you spit so much hate against them. Black women are no where near as bad as you make them out to be. Every black women I've encountered in my life have been beautiful, loving, educated women. Maybe you should check YOURSELF instead of spending so much time on here speaking bad about the true QUEENS!

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  43.   bigeyes31 says:
    Posted: 07 Sep 09

    Dominique I think it's wonderful that you are involved in a IR. You should continue to date who you want. That is the what the younger generation is supposed to do, break down barriers that were placed by the generations before. Be young and free. The lack of responses could be attributed to many things. So many people have responded at one time recently and so much is going on this board. Plus it's the holidays and people work. I assure you it has nothing to do with jealousy or cattiness. Goodluck to you and your friend Peace

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  44.   85kguy says:
    Posted: 07 Sep 09

    Hello Dominique, Sorry you got no responses. I am sure people want to hear more. Your school environment may be harsh. But you do get to date whomever you choose. Women can be catty and jealous. You may have privileges today that other females did not enjoy when they were your age.

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  45.   bigeyes31 says:
    Posted: 07 Sep 09

    Thank you kboxer and others who have shared their feelings about why they love the black woman. This , in my opinion, is what the board is about. Good luck to all in your search for YOUR perfect black woman. Peace

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  46.   Dominique says:
    Posted: 07 Sep 09

    No one replied to my post...hmmm...

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  47.   85kguy says:
    Posted: 06 Sep 09

    These last posted responses are so much better! Now, I am challenging prior bloggers to greet and interact with them in a spirit of supportive friendship.

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  48.   godiva61 says:
    Posted: 06 Sep 09

    Ichibod, I'm not sure if I'm early or late, but here goes, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you! love godiva

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  49.   godiva61 says:
    Posted: 06 Sep 09

    scoff/sarah, Just wanted to say "hello" and to let you both know that you will be missed!! I wish that I could find the magic words to encourage you to finish your story and to NOT leave... So I will just ask you to find it in your hearts to reconsider your decision to depart.. Can you at least think about it? I can't think of a more appropiate setting for your story... Words here can be brutal, degrading and sometimes destructive, but I believe, without a doubt, that the word of LOVE is, and always will triumph and prevail!!! Let not evil speak louder than love! love godiva

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  50.   Dominique says:
    Posted: 06 Sep 09

    I'm dating a white guy at the moment. It's definitely new but, I'm young and in high school so, I still have my life ahead of me. He's white and country and I'm black and diverse (I love heavy metal and my style shows that.) I'm intellectual (not ghetto) and that's one of the main things that attracted him to me. Of course most of his "country" friends don't like it and there may be some black people at the school that don't like it either but, since I'm new there, no one has said anything to me about it. We definitely get the looks. Many things have been said about us and have gotten back to my boyfriend since they were from the guys he used to call friends. No one other than his ex-friends have said anything about me or us. We're in Tennessee so, we're definitely going to get words and looks from people. His family would prefer that he date a white woman (but they treated me nicely when we met) and his real father doesn't even know that he is with me. If he did know, he would disown him and cut him off. Pretty much, his whole family (except for his father) knows about us. My family doesn't have a problem with it but, I also think that it is because black people are more accepting of white people than whites being more accepting of black people. He is willing to risk everything for me though our relationship is pretty new. I think that my guy definitely likes me for my intelligence but, I'll see how the relationship turns out. We like each other and the world is just going to have to accept that or turn their heads the other way.

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