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Why white men love the black woman

Posted by James, 31 Aug

Ever wondered why some white guys, love black women so much?

It seems that being a white male and proclaiming your attraction to black women (not only sexually, but also romantically) may lead to a lot of controversial and dangerous things. Let’s leave the debate of why more black women may be opening themselves up to white guys. The main focus of this debate is: why some white guys are opening themselves to black women. Let’s concentrate on that.

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Most white males don’t feel like they are running short of white women to marry. White males just marry at high rates. So question is: Why black women? The thing is it will not be fair to bundle up black women as one since everyone is their own person… be it in appearance or personality.

However, one thing that a white male friend of mine said… and I let him get away with bundling it all up is: “We love a black woman's confidence, her tenacity and her undeniable achievements in the face of great adversity...᾿ Since this info was coming from a man, there was definitely the mention of the lips, the curves, and that wonderful skin as well.

So what about stereotypes like “black women are either sexually conservative or total sluts?" Many people give so much lip service to interracial dating sites. You would think they have never done it. But those uptight individuals are the ones that spread these stereotypes. What happened to the highly educated black woman? How about the caring, decent and involved black woman?

Probably most white guys and others are confused with the stereotypical trash people spread around and if you are one that falls for such lame ol’ lines, then you sure as hell haven’t dated a black woman.

Bottom line, you don't have to sacrifice who you are for a white guy. They will love you anyway. Just be you and open yourself up… and if you like white guys, some white guy will find you too.

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  1.   Member says:
    Posted: 20 Apr 10

    Dear Petite I made a statement about people blaming poverty for failing students and other excuses. There is no such thing as African America History. It is called "American History". African American history, if you want to call it that. It has never been told the "right way" in schools or the media. They always focus on the harmless Negroes singing Negro spirituals about "we will overcome. They seem to leave out the larger white society that 'accepted" black people being second class citizens. No different, than Nazi Germany society allowing Jews to be rounded and slaughtered. But unless you research the history of black people in this country you will never know the truth. People generally still dislike black people. In particular black men. People could care less about Black History month. They put up the harmless Negroes that preached non violence. That is another story. However, things are left out of American History. Everybody focuses on the "founding fathers". The founding fathers wanted to protect "the wealthy class". That is why poor white men that didn't own land was excluded. Slaves were excluded from the 'framework" of the constitution. Women were also "excluded". As for your mention of Hip Hop culture, it has some influence but that is not the direct cause of "kids failing school". Some families don't look at education as a top priority in some households. Only a certain segment of the population finishes college "altogether". If you want to blame anything, blame the entertainment business in general. I see white kids watch Hannah Montana all day and not do homework. Nobody says " oh Hannah is influencing the white youth to stop reading and writing". Hip hop artists make music. But people expect them to "mentor kids". How absurd is that? Hip Hop music is just a reflection of society. If rap music did not exist people would be still doing drugs, prostitution, and crime. As for kids aspiring to be an athlete, rapper or singer. I don't think anything is particular wrong with that. As long as they have "goals". Just because a Lawyer, accountant, or doctor comes to the classroom and tell kids about his career. That does not necessarily mean they would love that profession. The reality is not all kids can be a Lawyer, accountant, or doctor. Schools should cater to the "strengths" of students. These kids can take the MCAT and LSAT and fail miserably. You have to be able to say "what is the alternative"? Even, the GRE is a tough test. Anyway, before I even get into that. They have to get to college first lol. They don't even get their Bachelor's Degree. College is way easier than high school to me. Just my opinion.

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  2.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 20 Apr 10

    @friendly13 Where does Hannes say he likes Black women? Read carefully sister.... ------------------------------------------------ I realize that the racism comes from the blacks, I never had a problem with them before I have got know them in person. The more comming the bigger the problems. I think about to relocate to a place where black woman are literate but when I see the discussions between black and white here on the message board I loose the lust somehow. Why does people make that topic so problematic. I was into a discussion of africans where one of them said: Every black woman wants a black man in reallity” I never would have the intention to debate something like that, but what the hell is wrong with that people saying such idiocy??? Really, I slowly loose my passion for black woman.

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  3.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 20 Apr 10

    @ All I erroneouslyreferred to the accomplished physician: Ben Nelson when it should Dr. Benjamin Carson. @Ich Also if you have ever heard of the Harlem Children's Zone, check out a program being run there called Baby College (Geofrey Canada), give me your thoughts on his program if you're familiar with it.

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  4.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 20 Apr 10

    @ Laurelton: tried to piece together what you were talking bout. Can't do it. Who is talking about failure in life as a result of poverty? Me not said a word in that regard. But what I did do was reply to a discussion Bamba and I were having. Poor, poverty? SHYYYYYTTTTTTT. I could probably run a circle around many on here with regards to growing up po! Yepper. But what is your point exactly? That's what I'm try'n to get at. Help me out a lil.....

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  5.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 20 Apr 10

    @friendly13 He does not. He said they we are fat and that we are racist. More than likely he has said that in the hopes of getting in your drawls......

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  6.   friendly13 says:
    Posted: 20 Apr 10

    Hannes72, I am glad that you appreciate the beauty of black women.

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  7.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 20 Apr 10

    @ Laurelton Yes, part of the reason why Black folx are phucked up has to do with Eurocentric culture. Yepper. Self hating of your own skin color does affect children subliminaly. When they turn on a tv set and barely see anything halfway representative of themselves then yeah. I say then, it is up to the parents of said children to teach their children about their culture. How many schools in general teach African History? Not many until you get to college level learning. I was born and raised in HARLEM and I learned it, there in my community. NOW, LET'S SEE head on over to said high school in say.....the Upper East Side or a private enclave of a school and guess how much Black history is taught there? I made my daughter sit my grandson down and watch the story of the famous Black Heart Surgeon Dr. Ben Nelson. I made her sit him down and watch important milestones in the election of the first Black President in this country's history. Not necessarily because I co-sign but to show him by example. Aside from eurocentric culture, I also believe that HIP HOP CULTURE and their ilk have a lot to do with what is going on with our youth. However, it is important for me to note that African American children do not have the highest drop out rate, it is Latino children. If parents don't take the time to teach their children that what they see on tv is not real life and they should not aspire to be knuckleheads then these will be the people our children will look up to. No way around it. It's everywhere and it's supposed to be cute. So...teens and young adults wanting to be like everyone else "cute" will do likewise. This is my opinion and I shall most definitely stick to it. I did a lot of mentoring in Harlem when I was there. Some on my own and some through corporate partnerships and the first thing that came out of a lot of their mouths was I wanna be like [INSERT ARTIST NAME HERE] OR [INSERT SPORTS PLAYER] HERE. Not once did any of the ones in HARLEM, say to me, I want to be a doctor, lawyer, accountant, THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, A janitor, a Pilot (my grandson wants to be a pilot). The first thing they wanted to do was to emulate some person they see regularly and look up to on tv. There is something almost perverse about a child not having his or own parent as someone they want to emulate. That's just me.... Our country's history is steeped in eurocentric culture. But there is information to be found, absorbed and taught, if only many were to do so. Since many don't have time for whatever reasons, we can look for more of our children to not have the proper understanding of their culture (which personally speaking) African American culture is intertwined in Eurocentric culture because it was forced on us. The only way to relieve ourselves of this and to become more aware of what we are as a people from a long lineage of royalty is to teach them. Good day

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  8.   Bamabelle2k9 says:
    Posted: 20 Apr 10

    @Friendly Amen on that sista. I've said that to Ich that I don't care if he or any other black man dates white women. As far as a trap Ich, the only one who has fallen into one is you, if you keep listening to twiddle dumb and twiddle dumber cause they don't have anyone's best interest at heart other then to stir some shit up.

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  9.   friendly13 says:
    Posted: 20 Apr 10

    Ichibod, I appreciate that you like black women too. You have the choice to choose to date whoever you want for whatever reason and so do I. This site is about "Why White Men Love Black Women" and not why do you think that is wrong or why do you think that black women should not date or a why black women are sell-outs for dating white men. You found out about this site because you wanted to have input that is not relevant to the question. The reason that there are not a lot of white men wasting their time on this site is the same reason that I like them. They want to date black women and so they are spending their time finding black women who want to date them on here instead of wasting their time on this blog reading and rebutting contrary comments from people about why people don't really believe white men could ever possibly love black women. They don't look because if they want to love a black woman they are going to do it and they simply don't care about people taking up juxtapositions in a conversation about "Why White Men Love Black Women" to tell them that they can't and should not. If you want to date multiple races of women I am not going to criticize you for that. I am also not going to waste my time patting you on the back because the kind of women you like is of no concern to me. That is your business and absolutely none of mine. I know this, black women are just as good and as beautiful as any other race of women. The options are just as open to us as they are to other women in the world. We also have just as much of a right to make the choices available to us. Men who think differently should just be kicked to the curb. What you think and who you choose to date it is not going to make me want to stop wanting to date white men. You being on this site is not going to change how I feel either. All you are is a torch warding off the real conversation about "Why White Men Love Black Women". You can cut and paste my statements to twist them any way you wish. But it is not going to change the question and it is not going to change what I do.

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  10.   Ichibod says:
    Posted: 20 Apr 10

    Oh, that last long post from me is for Other Brother.

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  11.   Member says:
    Posted: 20 Apr 10

    (Separating London and Bama) It is true this is a site for interracial dating. However, it is forum to talk about topics. I don't think it is exclusive to people just dating inter racially. It is very obvious to me that the conversation is dominated by black women here. If you was take black men like "me" off this board. Would white men hold a conversation with you, other than it being sexual? Even, you sellout black women admit you "don't deal" with white men on this "board". Why is that? Black women are dating white for many reasons. Most of them are very selfish. 1. Loneliness 2. resentment towards black men 3. A man they can 'control" 4. Desperation. Kingpin has argued the point that "it is not like that". Perhaps, for him it is not. But he is not in the "head" of his black wife. The same people calling me racist, will never address their own family members making racist remarks to their black wife. I just laugh at the selective outrage.

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  12.   Ichibod says:
    Posted: 20 Apr 10

    Menelik, I'm not taking any bait. I just laughing at how poorly constructed the traps are being set.

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  13.   Ichibod says:
    Posted: 20 Apr 10

    "Several white men have given details about why they love black women the problem is that black men on this blog just do not like it, and they go on with their continued lies." There haven't been that many white men to post on this blog considering the 3630 post so far. And aside from you, you're really the only white guy that a black man has had a problem with. Black women have had problems with some other white guys, and ofcourse you. Just face it. You're really the one who is racist and you project it on to us. How is it that you probably no more black people than I know and deal with more racism on a daily basis than me? Do you throw that much racism at black people when you leave the house each day? No one is lying here accept for you. "As an example for all you slow people who want to know what lie, how about white men or black women fall in love and their partner is their last choice, that is a real stupid lie. It is such a blatant lie that it seems no one on here can answer it." It's not a lie. It's an observation or assumption that many white men can attest to or at least allude to. There ARE white men who strictly date black women. Their adult dating life may show that. Do their highschool or middleschool crushes count? We can't discount those nor should take those too seriously. The statement "white men choose black women last" is a reflection of the low dating/marital rates between white men and black women, since it's so hard for you to figure that out. What race was your first girlfriend? Even if she was black, you don't represent every white man. I wish you would stop trying to argue with ANYONE on this blog. You really suck at it. All you can say is that people are lying, but you can say what a person is lying about. You just think it sounds like a good thing to say to discredit someone. Also calling people racist with no evidence is a waste of time, too. I remember when I first repsonded to you last year, it was because you start calling out black men for things no one had said. There were responses to some black women's comments about black men. And then you started making your own negative comments about white women. That's what initially brought you to my attention. You come on here trying to chastise black men for speaking out against a person negatively stereotyping there own race to justify dating, and then you did it yourself... twice! "...as I said before I really do not care what makes anyone one open their mind about enhancing their opportunities to find that one person they are looking for, even if it is a pathetic racist Blackman that so called pushes them there" I already had figured out what type of white guy you are long time ago. Brian Austin Green was your favorite 90210 character, wasn't he? Your favorite rapper is Vanilla Ice, right? It's no secret why you thought "I work with more black people than you probably know" made a good argument. What was the point of that? You get to say the N-word 15 decibles louder than other white people can without fear of retribution around these blacks? They probably even call you that themselves. My old roommate claimed to be the most non-racist person in the world. He said growing up, he always felt more comfortable around black people. I knew the black people he grew up around. They were all knuckleheads. Me and him bumped heads frequently because he couldn't deal with me the same way he dealt with them. He tried to relate to me the same way he did them, and he failed most times. "Ay yo, T!!!" That's not my name, idiot. He couldn't see how that and so much other stuff was racist. He figured it only took hating someone of a differnet race to be considered racist. We debated on that one night, and then he, out of the blue, called me a piece of sh_t and said "I'm smarter than you!". What kind of rebuttal is that? This is what kind. He always liked talking over people and showing just how much he knew, but I was always the one that effectively countered his points, far too often around other people when asked my opinion. I knew it was a problem for him for a long time and it finally came to a head. The moral of the story is, don't just say dumb stuff for the sake of argument. It's obvious your are on the side of black women that trade one option for another leaving only one option, because you are about the same thing. Chemistry is important, I guess. Check the expiration date on that PASS you have.

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  14.   Bamabelle2k9 says:
    Posted: 20 Apr 10

    Menelik if I do go to hell, I'm sure you'll be the first one I meet. LOL And anyone who spends this much time on here worried about other folks business is the TRUE loser. As I said before "brotha" and I use that term loosely, do us all a favor and get a life.

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  15.   malarki5 says:
    Posted: 20 Apr 10

    @ Bama, girl, you're a 50 year-old has-been with, fortunately, no children. date who you want cease talking about my people and move to the burbs with some elderly white boy on viagra! One other thing, loser, if anyone here sprouts racism its you...grizzled old hag! I'll post all the damn quotes too lol Menelik Charles London England

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  16.   Bamabelle2k9 says:
    Posted: 20 Apr 10

    Menelik shut up. People say Queens is a racist when the truth is you are racist. It's none of you damn business who ANYBODY dates especially you, you knock off want to be Dr. Phil. What kind a site do you think this is Menelik? This is a site for people who WANT and CHOOSE to date outside their race and culture. if you don't like it, get the fuck out because I for one am tired of your psedo so-called know it all ass trying to lecture the rest of us how we should be living.

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  17.   malarki5 says:
    Posted: 20 Apr 10

    Bamababe said: Sistas want to get married too and they aren’t waiting any more,a lot of us are going to date the men who want us and...a lot of cases these days,that’s white men. Menelik replies: fantastic! Do you see my point now Bro Ich? Does this read like a Black woman into white men or one that has simply settled on finding a white boy because (for whatever reason) Black men don't want her? They have to hype white men up in an effort to convince themselves and others their happy settling for what they actually perceive as second best! DO YOU SEE MY POINT, BRO ICHIBOD? Don't take the bait! Menelik Charles London England

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  18.   malarki5 says:
    Posted: 20 Apr 10

    Bamababe said: Oh it’s not just in our community but most white women are married, asians, hispanics too but we have the highest percentage of women NOT married… Menelik replies: Bro Ichibod, you keep taking the bait! This nonsense was from a woman who not only did not grow up in the 'Black community' but who confesses to "loving white men more" than any other race of men! Quite aside from the fact that I do not believe her for one moment, the fact is that IF she is telling the truth then shouldn't she be concerned as to why white men ARE or NOT marrying Black women? The obvious point I'm making is that the affairs of the Black community have nothing whatsover to do with Bamababe! Just say 1) I adore white women over and above other races of women because of their skin, hair and 'feminine' manners and 2) I grew up in a mostly white community. You got me? Right! Now tell me, what in God's name have the problems and issues pertaining to African-Americans got to do with me? Tell me Bro! The answer is nothing unless... what I've said above about how wonderful white women are in relation to other races of women is but a mechanism 1) to relieve the internal stress of feeling inferior to white men and 2) a means by which to project my own spoiled Black-male identity onto Black women. As far as the likes of Bamababe are concerned, Black men have got off scot free in the sexual status stakes. That is the're the only men on the planet who have a higher sexual and romantic value than their women folk. This hurts Black women intensely. Not least because they have the lowest racial, romantic and sexual status than any race of women on the planet! Their objective thus is to take Black men down a rung or ten by elevating their traditional foes, white men, above them...just as white men have elevated white women above Black women. Do you not see the workings of an unholy alliance here Bro? Don't take the bait! Bama, friendly13 are but disgruntled Black male supremacists i.e. they believe in the inherent aesthetic and masculine superiority of Black men over other races of men. The problem is that they don't believe Black men have a similar opinion of them. Hence their rage towards the brothers. Do you get my point, Bro Ich? Menelik Charles London England

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  19.   Bamabelle2k9 says:
    Posted: 20 Apr 10

    @Ich didn't I just say that black women as well as black men need to get their shit together? I would think that would mean people in general. That's my issue with you Ich. Is that you get pissed if anybody says ANYTHING negative about black men. As I said before we talk about white men marrying us, hey how about our own kind marrying us. A lot of black men aren't in rush to marry sistas either but that's the dirty little secret in the black community we talk about sistas and why aren't we married but we don't address a lot of times is why some brothas aren't willing to marry us. Sistas want to get married too and they aren't waiting any more,a lot of us are going to date the men who want us and are around us more often and a lot of cases these days,that's white men. There are plenty of sistas out there that don't have a house full of kids or baby daddies, have an education, have jobs and own their own houses and can't find a man especially a black man. And I'll say it, some of these brothas need to step up to the plate and step up your game.

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  20.   Member says:
    Posted: 20 Apr 10

    Dear Otherbrother Aside from the interracial debate. I actually do agree with you. I am in an elementary school made up of biracial kids and white kids. They are the majority. I think some teachers do "teach" differently but they are not aware of it. For example, the biracial kids and black kids are "considered" the "bad kids". Maybe a couple white boys that are "wild". My client is a 7 year old white boy. All I know is he got popped in the mouth several times this week. So, his teacher says go play with the "other kids" in dodge ball. It even gets physical in that too! I asked the teacher "you think that is a good idea"? She says "well those kids are rougher" that play football. She was alluding to the biracial and black kids. There are a couple white boys playing too (that are rough). But they are not the majority though. They rather play dodge ball. The biracial and black kids rather play football. One kid named Michael is a football fanatic. He is albino white kid with white hair (A handsome kid). LOL I was like "yo man why you ain't catch that". He is not that athletic but he can damn hustle! He got knocked down by this kid named "Tracy". He is biracial but an athlete for a third grader. The kid is literally a little "Lebron james". Basically, the kid is so popular even the teenagers respect him at only THIRD GRADE. Michael comes to me and say "Mr Brown". I am quitting they keep knocking me down. I told him " you want to play football right"? You got to play dirty with them too. My elementary school is rural and poor. Mostly everybody is on the 'system". The poor white families I meet. They don't like to admit they are getting Gov't assistance. I can understand you being upset at the teacher. Most teachers live a different lifestyle than the poor kids they teach (Black and white). The principal is a country club white guy. He is basically "part of the elite in PA circles". He is a nice guy though. I got nothing against conservatives. He actually raises money for the poor kids in school. He does not have to do that. We had an incident, where my client (the white kid). He brought a sharp stick to school. It looked like a knife. The principal called his mother. The mother was upset like "a pencil could be weapon" give me a break. I basically mediated the situation. The principal didn't want to "mix it up". The mother felt like she can relate to me because " I know the struggle. She assumes " I do" because I am black. LOL The principal was happy " I worked it out". Racism is not the big problem. It is classicism. Sometimes, parents don't understand what happens in class day to day.

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  21.   Member says:
    Posted: 20 Apr 10

    Queens, I can not believe this but I agree with the majority of your post. The two things I disagree with are the sagging pants ( this did come from prison) and the teachers, alot of the problem is teachers. Many White teachers do not believe that black kids learn the same way, I had to go to school when a teacher toldmy son he should think about being a mechanic, not that I have a problem with mechanics but he wants to be a palintoligist (I do not know if I spelled that right, he wants to study dinasours. That pathetic 60 + year old teacher couldn't stimulate my sons brain so he is supposed to be a machanic? My kids are very disciplined and respect others, But If i do not go down to the school and put my but in some teachers behinds they will not teach or mentor the same way as they do with white kids. That is just the facts, the reason why welfare exists is because many more white people escpecially white women receive funds, I guarantee you if the program supported mostly black people, the program would be scrapped by many racist congressman in congress.

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  22.   Member says:
    Posted: 20 Apr 10

    (Listening to Other brother) Now, black people lie about you. What are we lying about? Since, you seem to know black people so well. If it is such a lie, why aren't more white men dating black women? It seems like the racist ones are you. Why don't you ask, why are white men so racist towards black women when it comes to dating? You won't call other white men racist. Because I haven't heard it come out of your mouth at all. Perhaps, you are a coward. One of those white guys that got a black woman fetish. But won't say shit when other white guys talk "bad" about black women. You better be perfect before you point the finger at black people being racist. Especially me, because you don't know what the hell you are talking about. Good day.

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  23.   Member says:
    Posted: 20 Apr 10

    The lies keep coming and coming, why do some black people both men and women lie so much about white men and black women? There is a question that should be asked. As an example for all you slow people who want to know what lie, how about white men or black women fall in love and their partner is their last choice, that is a real stupid lie. It is such a blatant lie that it seems no one on here can answer it. The pathetic analogy that queenie gave is so stupid that under his analagy once you have dated a person who ever the next person you date they are your last choice, you have sold out. Oh my goodness that makes himm a sellout doesn't it.

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  24.   Member says:
    Posted: 20 Apr 10

    @ Queenie I haven't forgot your question, however until you answer the question why are you so racist? why should anybody answer any of your racist questions? I have answers for all of them. Just answer the question why are you so racist? You being a racist is not debatable, what is debatable is why?

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  25.   Member says:
    Posted: 20 Apr 10

    @ Hanes Several white men have given details about why they love black women the problem is that black men on this blog just do not like it, and they go on with their continued lies. The question has been answered often and rejected by some of the pathetic people on this blog. No matter what you tell them they just do not understand because they are racist

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  26.   Member says:
    Posted: 20 Apr 10

    (Eating popcorn) Reading the comments. Ah, its the Europeans fault why the black families are fucked up. That would explain why white kids do better in school than black kids. (By the way, across all socioeconomic lines). Oh yea, blame pop culture too. Gangsta rap made me do it (sounding like Ice Cube) White kids listen to Rock and Roll but manage to still go to college. They can watch "Terminator" and it is all good. Black kids watch rap videos and "black movies". They start to follow that allegedly. It sounds like a "cop out" to me. One thing you are correct about there are poor white families. But the last time I went to a poor white school the kids were not running around like maniacs like the black kids I saw in New York City schools. Perhaps, it is just lack of discipline. Tell you what, let's blame the teachers for the minority children not learning. That seems to be the best solution. It is the Teacher's Union. The sheer absurdity of blaming teachers these Negro intellectuals like to do. Teachers can't control the environment a child grows up in. A teacher can't force a kid to stay in school or not cut class. I went to one of the baddest high schools in New York City. The biggest problem with the school was lack of security. If I can hang out in the hallway, why would kids want to be in class. I once saw a girl get jumped by 20 other girls. Yea, 20 black girls jumping on 1 black girl. I was kind of surprised she survived the beating. Yea there was a couple white teachers scared to teach in these schools. However, without discipline, kids cannot learn. I saw one teacher literally "hold her head down" when coming to teach in the morning. My mother laughed and said " She act like they gonna buss her upside the head". I just "shook my head" at the time. I was watching this black guy that runs a charter school in New Haven CT on this black panel with Soledud, who did to be "Negro in America". The woman is a god damn disgrace. You got a white husband and white kids but you doing to be "Black in America. Anyway,99 percent of his black students go to college. He is a no nonsense guy. He believes in strict rules and the kids succeed. In one of the roughest neighborhoods in Connecticut. I can't recall his name but he is against "Teacher Unions". That is the only thing I disagree with. I am tired of mutherfuckers blaming poverty for not being successful in life. You got white and black people in South Africa without a "pot to piss in". But you got a toilet, running water, food stamps, and etc. Yea, you are in the projects. The projects here in comparison to "third world" countries is a god damn HOTEL. This generation of young people is being spoiled by US. We give them video games and all this shit. My parents did the same thing. The "baby boomer" generation started this spoiled "trend". Now we are passing this on to our children. I have seen poor white families with an XBOX, PSP, DSI, for the kids. They even got a WII system. But you complaining about being poor. These cotton picking Negroes on television just "talking" but not doing anything. Bill Cosby is a joke. Ich likes Bill Cosby. The guy wasn't saying shit when he made "Fat Albert" and disgraced black people. When I was a kid, I was like "what the fuck is mumbles talking about". Now, Bill Cosby is "outraged by sagging jeans and etc. Nobody sags their jeans in "prison". Where the fuck they got that from? There is an art to sagging your jeans. It is suppose to sag without making it look like it is "sagging". Obviously, the kids didn't learn this properly. They see 2pac and Wayne showing their boxers but they entertainers. I was smart enough as a kid to watch "something else" on TV instead of Fat Albert. The cartoons I watched as a kid was "great". Now, they have my niece and nephew watching "homosexual cartoons like Spongebob and uh Arthur". I am like "turn that shit off". They are like "I like arthur and Dora explorer". I said "Dora is an illegal immigrant" turn it off. She literally gets upset. I am like "fine watch Dora". I was like "we watched GI Joe, Transformers, Gummi Bears. Ya dig, uh smurfs, Duck Tales, Tom and Jerry. Now they claim it was too violent. I should start my own "Tea Party". I want to bring back BET Uncut with the half naked black women. I want them to legalize weed. I believe in small government and less taxes. I also like the Healthcare bill. I believe in merit pay for teachers also. Good day.

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  27.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 20 Apr 10

    @ All In case anyone is wondering about my political affiliation, I am moderate in my views and I consider myself a centrist. I vote for the issue, not the party!

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  28.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 20 Apr 10

    @ Bama the rest I promised: approximately 40% of American children will go to bed in homes in which their fathers do not live. Before they reach the age of eighteen, more than half of our nation's children (note African Americans can only count for 14% of this half). Benokraitis, p. 375. Half of families headed by single mothers live below the poverty line (let's not fool ourselves into thinking that white people are not poor). They are the largest group in this country to benefit from social service programs!!! With that said, many of the female headed households were poor before the father left. Having the father leave only exascerbates the problem and makes them poorer financially and in love and attention. Let's again take a look at pop culture. The idiot box, so to speak. Do we as a culture (Americans) want to continue to mirror the images we see as "real life?" Many successful women have decided to have children w/o marriage and they ain't all Black. Blacks were always traditional in our ways of thinking - but we're being suckered up into a Euro centric culture. Not spanking your kids (oops, lest the CWS comes for ya)! I got my behind spanked and I turned out ok, so did my children. We need to take control over own lives and we need to be extraordinary in doing so. We have to stop following.......... The most cohesive family oriented ethnic group in this country are Mexicans!!!!

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  29.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 20 Apr 10

    For Bama as promised earlier this morning: Contemporary Families: The Growth in Co-habitation - The number of heterosexual unmarried couples in the United States has increased tenfold - from about 0.4 million in 1960 to more than 5 million in 2005. And the this trend continues to rise. The numbers could also be higher simply because the Census Bureau does not tabulate all unmarried couples, but rather the "householder" who rents or owns the residence. In addition, the 1 in 9 or 11% of unmarried households of all unmarried partner households are gay men or lesbians (Simmons an O'Connell, 2003)* as excertped in: Changing Families: Marriages, Choices and Constraints, Nijole V. Benokraitis, Thompson Publications, 2008. Note that the figure given by Simmons and O'Connell assert are based on data collected in 2003. This is now 2010. There has been so much going on in the way of Gay and Lesbian relations in our country that I would wager that this number is even higher today. Myths about being single: Singles are tied to their mothers' apron strings Singles are selfish and self-centered Singles are well-off financially** Singles are happier THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WHEN PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO MARRY I understand that is the woman's inherent nature to bear children (at least most women) it is the hardwire. I believe this conflicts with men being commitment phobes because of the looseness of women. Why should men commit to a relationship when there are so many vile women who will have and sleep with married men? My daughter and I were discussing this yesterday as a matter of fact. Women are partly to blame for the behavior of some men. Yes! Make not mistake about it. Also factor in that in practically any country you go to (including the United States) with the exception of perhaps some Asian countries; women outnumber men with very high ratios. There are more women on this earth than there are men. This has to do with male babies who were thought to not be able to strive as long as female babies. This is nature's doing. There are a number of causes for our predictament about marriage and the lack thereof. Part trend, part loss of traditional values; part hip hop culture and more. When discussing marriage amongst other ethnic cultures they marry for different reasons than we do (Americans) so we should NOT count them. Japan and China marriage rates and customs are high. It is expected that Japanese men will in fact marry but have many mistresses and has very little to do with love. It is to procreate to keep his bloodline going. China committed so much infanticide against female children that it was just recently banned. Girls were not valuable in their societies. There is no comparison..... Let's just discuss what is going on in America amongst American families of African descent and European descent....

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  30.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 20 Apr 10

    @Ich Marriage is sort of a symbiotic relationship. The 2 parties being dependent on each other. If we stopped listening to the songs and stopped watching the psuedo-romance movies and the music videos, then maybe we could get somewhere. Whatever happened to talking and courting, even meeting the parents first before sex? -------------------------------------------- YOU ARE ON POINT WITH THE SYMBIOSIS OF A MARITAL RELATIONSHIP. THERE SHOULD BE NO SEPARATION/INDIVIDUATION WITHIN A MARRIAGE. Only with mother and child! If marraiges are to be sustainable they take compromise, they take sacrifice. I did say we depend too much on hollyweird and what these folx are doing and what is trendy according to them.

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  31.   Ichibod says:
    Posted: 20 Apr 10

    @Bama "And it’s not just some women who need to get their shit together, some of the men too so let’s not put this ALL on sistas not doing their job some of the men aren’t doing theirs either." "That’s why I said as a black woman we aren’t the only one’s who need to get stuff straight." You see, just when I start to like you, you say something like this. Where has anyone implied that black women don't have their "affairs" in order, aside from using black men to justify their dating preferences? "Oh it’s not just in our community but most white women are married, asians, hispanics too but we have the highest percentage of women NOT married..." Who has the highest divorce percentages? And about the whole marriage thing. Many people don't have a true understanding of what marriage is supposed to be about. The divorce rate in our country can attest to that. I wouldn't say men are commitmentphobes. When the value system of our culture has declined to the point it has now, it becomes hard for anyone, male or female, the recognize the purpose and/or benefit of marriage. I can't stand Beyonce. That song is so garbage, but I digress. We are facing an epidemic of single parents. Where are our youth supposed to learn about marriage. The best way to learn is by example. For blacks, specific issues date back to... those "times" that I hate bringing into these discussions. Men are men and women are women. Men instinctively go looking for something or someone to get into and many times some have no control. Women allow them. Sometimes one, sometimes ten. There's this little crime called rape that not an astronomically high percentage of black men are accused of. How's that for the blame being on both sides? The stories I heard from different women about sneaking out of the house as a teen. My brother and I were just talking yesterday about his stepdaughter not coming home from her prom until the next day. All of this independence talk is getting on my nerves as well. Marriage is sort of a symbiotic relationship. The 2 parties being dependent on each other. If we stopped listening to the songs and stopped watching the psuedo-romance movies and the music videos, then maybe we could get somewhere. Whatever happened to talking and courting, even meeting the parents first before sex? I've had a background check done on me by a woman's mom. My mom even saw and video taped an episode of Judge Judy where this guy that was seeing my aunt was on there. Some people don't even want their families involved in who their talking to. Whatever happened to holy matrimony? I can't get passed that and why the Apostle Paul spoke about being unevenly yoked. You can't expect anything to work right if that is the case. "I’ve said in the past that you can tell when a white man really loves black women because he is into ALL of us. Light, dark, fat, skinny, with kids or without,there is just something about black women as a whole that some white men love about us. The men who like “certain” types of sistas to me aren’t really into us." All black men aren't into all black women. All black women aren't into all black men. If that were the case, we'd all be married to one another wouldn't we? Either that, or the main reason for black on black crime would be relationships, the classic, "I saw her/him first". No one is into everyone. That just doesn't make sense. An old Puerto Rican lady told me that men didn't care for her in Puerto Rico because she was small and Puerto Rican men like their women full figured. Everyone has discriminating taste regarding various stuff. And about men running away from their responsibilities, I would like to hear every women that has had a child out of wedlock say that her child or children were planned. Not every man was a man when they helped conceive a child (teen pregnancy). Not every man was even expecting that to happen, neither was the woman. Everyone that has sex nowadays is not looking at their partner as a potential husband or wife. Some men don't know that there are fathers. Some men believe that they are fathers when really are not. Many women don't even know who their baby's father is. As far as statistics go, a black single mother is a black single mother any way you slice it. The statistic alone brings people to the conclusion that black men run from their responsibilities. However, Shar Jackson is a black single mother with 2 children making her a part of the statistic. Her children's father is Kevin Federline. Wow! Black men even take the rap for not taking care of kids that aren't even remotely ours. Statistics don't account for circumstances. A widow with kids registers as a single parent. My point is, people in general need a lot of work. Everyone likes to blame someone else for their shortcomings. However, where on this blog has a black man done that to a black woman, especially when it comes to justifying dating another race?

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  32.   e-dub says:
    Posted: 20 Apr 10

    Just got to say -- I'm a good conservative married to a black woman. And by the way, IR are inevitable and unavoidable. You can try to stop them, complain about them but it won't do you any good. It's the wave of the future and I think a good wave. It's one way that will move this old world pass the issue.

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  33.   TYRANT says:
    Posted: 20 Apr 10

    friendly said: I am not saying that the black men don’t have courage. I am just saying what I like about white men, but I can’t and won’t put down black men. I wish they would do the same when they choose white women over us. But they don’t. They say that white women are better than us rather than simply attributing their behavior to preference and attraction. TYRANT replies: Let me put this as DELICATELY as I possibly can...friendly, you're full of SHIT. That's all I have to say. End of discussion.

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  34.   Bamababe2k9 says:
    Posted: 20 Apr 10

    Oh it's not just in our community but most white women are married, asians, hispanics too but we have the highest percentage of women NOT married and when I hear some brothas suggest we shouldn't even think about being with a white man, my answer to that is, then like Beyonce' put a ring on it! Black women in general need stop accepting less and wanting and deserving more. If he's not offering bling then he ain't getting my thing. Not all of us are uneducated,have several baby daddy's,ghetto or have attitudes so those excuses for why sistas aren't married, need to stop. Like I've said a lot of black women prefer to be with a black man, but if some brothas aren't willing or ready to settle down, then sistas are going to look elsewhere for a mate. That's why I said as a black woman we aren't the only one's who need to get stuff straight. To be continued I guess...lol have a good one

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  35.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 20 Apr 10

    Bamba: Men are commitment phobes. Not just Black men either. Look around, it is not just in the Black community. The overall marriage rate in the United States is astounding (dropping steadily). Co-habitation happens to be the preferred method of living nowadays and is much more prevalent in White communities. Especially amongst the younger generation of people. Men are stepping up to take more responsibility in the home as well, (in white households). Some of the work traditionally left for women to do, men are now doing. I suspect this is generational. Since we (Blacks) are less than 14% of the entire US population, it would stand to reason that our marriage rates would be much lower. Aside from other factors of abseenteeism for whatever reasons. What I don't like is baby daddies running away from their responsibilities. however, statistics bare that Black men are more likely to visit with their children than their White counterparts. I'll post references to the above tomorrw. I have some PDF articles I can try to post here... Girl, I'm tired and going to bed. I've been in the midst of finishing a paper (coming up for air to mess around here) and back to the paper. This is the kind of discourse we should be having. "understanding" the intrinsic differences amongst us and then having some real dialogue. I hope the Black men join in. Currently it appears to be just us women. But it's a start......... G'nite sistah!

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  36.   Bamababe2k9 says:
    Posted: 20 Apr 10

    Petite I have to ask, what's the excuse for black men not marrying black women in large numbers either? When you see the majority of black women have NEVER been married, then this goes beyond a black/white issue. There are some good sistas out there that want to marry a black man, but black men are in a rush either to marry. So I don't think it's a race issue, it's a man issue.

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  37.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 20 Apr 10

    Yes, Bama there is no better time than the present. What we have to do is talk to one another w/o rancor and really, really listen to one another. Men and women alike. I could not have said it better myself!

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  38.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 20 Apr 10

    Comment by boots on 19 April 2010: @ Boots: First, thank you for the compliment. Second to answer your question about these IR dating situations - I have come with a message that many don't care to hear. Which was that they don't. Finally, I am of the strong opinion that the VAST majority of White men DO NOT WANT SERIOUS LONG TERM RELATIONSHIPS WITH BLACK WOMEN. Now, I caught a little heat for that. But that's what I interjected when I started on this blog about two weeks ago. If the above were true, then yes the statistics would bare it. They do not. Many have said the same. It just so happens to be true. I have no doubt that men and women of different cultural backgrounds can be attracted to one another for love and intimacy but it is not on a grand scale. My message to sisters was it is ok to keep your options open but don't get your hopes up too high. I was accused by White men of being a racist, not knowing what I'm talking about and even cursed. This, for other Black women to witness...So! I agree with healing our own. Definitely! We must work together. I so agree. I saw the light 2 months ago. I too came here in search of "otherism" and came to the realization that I have a black child, grandchild and my parents were black. I love Black. I have nothing against anyone's preferences, none whatsoever, however it is no longer for me. I would much rather be with a minority in my league. Thanks for joining the conversation.

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  39.   Bamababe2k9 says:
    Posted: 20 Apr 10

    First of all we some us need to stop acting like black folks have it so bad. Hell we got it better then our ansestors ever THOUGHT of having it. So, let's end that myth rigth now. And it's not just some women who need to get their shit together, some of the men too so let's not put this ALL on sistas not doing their job some of the men aren't doing theirs either.

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  40.   Malarki5 says:
    Posted: 20 Apr 10

    Boots said: I havent seen any net gain in our situation here, that can be attributed to IR relationships other than the apparent attraction they profess toward each other (they call it love). How do these relationships help? Our race has not been made better, or moved further along b/c of IR relationships. But to some on this site the betterment of our race means nothing Menelik replies: I couldn't have put it better myself...really, I couldn't! My view is that if there are so many compatible, attractive, white men out there willing treat Black women with such delicacy and grace, then why the hell are they on an anonymous dating site searching for said men? It makes no sense! 'Good' Black men are apparently scarce while 'good' white men are in the abundant millions. For heaven's sake, girls, get out there, flutter your eyelids, fix that smile and make yourself available! Surely, you don't need to be on this site warring with daddy substitutes at your ages, do you? Menelik Charles London England

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  41.   Bamababe2k9 says:
    Posted: 20 Apr 10

    @Boots I didn't know we were suppose to be dating for our race, I assume we were allowed to date and love who we wanted to. This goes back to my argument that interracial dating and marriage is not for everybody. A lot of folks can't get passed the race issue because of their own personal hangups about race. The feeling is among some black men and women, that somehow we "own" one another. That's why some sistas get mad and brothas too because their thinking is we are suppose to only be with each other and being with someone who is not of the same race is somehow a betrayal of that. To me interracial relationships help form better understanding and openess among the races. I don't think I've lost my "blackness" because I'm with a white man, in fact that's what attracts some white men to us is our ethnicity and culture.

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  42.   boots says:
    Posted: 20 Apr 10

    Greetings to all......this whole discussion has certainly taken many turns ....Iam not a newbie,nor am I a troll I've been on this site a long time, love hearing the new voices.....@ petite chick I am impressed with your knowledge and understanding of the blk plight in the USA and the historical setting. With that said, tell me in what way at all do IR relationships benefit blk people in this country.I havent seen any net gain in our situation here, that can be attributed to IR relationships other than the apparent attraction they profess toward each other (they call it love)how do these relationships help at all.Our race has not been made better or moved further along b/c of IR relationships.But to some on this site the betterment of our race means nothing...Until we have healed our own and become whole ,only then should IR mating be even considered

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  43.   Bamababe2k9 says:
    Posted: 19 Apr 10

    Oh I think most consevatives are freaky, they just hide it. I was like how you like black women and vote Republican? I will it admit it would be HARD for me to date a consevative. We'd probably kill each other before the date was over. lol

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  44.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 19 Apr 10

    Bamba is right 1, and 2 times!!!! I agree Bamba! Traditionally African Americans were conservative. Recall back to the beginning of the Emancipation and soon thereafter. Yes, we were always conservative in our principles. Then along came the Democratic party because they said poor Blacks weren't benefitting from the Grand Ol Party and sought us for the vote. Much of what they said is true about the GOP. Lincoln HAD to free the slaves or he would have to forfeit the union. He didn't free us cause he wanted to. Also remember that we did and acted like our masters from religion to politics. Another possible reason might be because them fools ain't as conservative as they would have us believe. Ha! Conservative my behind! The New Deal was set up for White women whose husbands left them or were killed in the war, not Blacks......We had jobs. We worked in their houses.

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  45.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 19 Apr 10

    @bama And yes, they all just friggin nuts. But you wanna something bamba, we really can’t live without them can we? -------------------------------- BEFORE SOME FOOL misconstrues the intent of my comment. Men and women were meant to be together. It is the natural order of things.

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  46.   Bamababe2k9 says:
    Posted: 19 Apr 10

    Another thing I've noticed, a lot of conservative white (as in political beliefs) men LOVE black women. WTF is that about? LOL

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  47.   Bamababe2k9 says:
    Posted: 19 Apr 10

    Yeah I've been reading the conversation back and forth and it's been weird. If he has a problem with some sistas then why bother to date us? I've said in the past that you can tell when a white man really loves black women because he is into ALL of us. Light, dark, fat, skinny, with kids or without,there is just something about black women as a whole that some white men love about us. The men who like "certain" types of sistas to me aren't really into us. That's one reason I said judge me as a person, not as a group. @Queens I don't have a child.

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  48.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 19 Apr 10

    @Hannes Thanks for your words, I could not have ever proven my words better then you did it for me. You are ver clever, really…… That is why I said for my experience racism comes mostly from black people. -------------------------------------------------- Tell that to the many Black women on here looking for the likes of you - that racism comes from them! Go ahead and tell the Black women who want to date White men that they are racist. I DARE YOU.

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  49.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 19 Apr 10

    Friendly13, I sure do hope you ain't say'n that! I and my ex are trying to rear a strong minded, well rounded, edcuated young Black man! I expect to see my grandson follow in the footsteps of his great grandfather! Yes, to say that there are no strong Black men would indeed be a crime. I have and will always be attracted to Smart men. I can't help that, Lordy, Lordy, Lordy. But for me, there has to some chemistry as well. That could have been with a white man until each and everyone of them showed their asses when they were rejected by me because of their approach to me. I scratched them off the list. I will not let a non minority treat me that way. NO DAY THAT HAS COME OR WILL EVER come will do that to me and get away with it. If I told you about the White men I've had crushes on simply because they're smart you'd laugh to death. But they are not the be all to end all for me. I'm not just gonna sit back and wait on them anymore than I would a Black man. Options open: Latino men (fiyah baby)!!!

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  50.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 19 Apr 10

    Bamba, girl he went on a rampage about Black women in AFrica and then want to pretend he didn't say it. Like I'm the problem with his hatred of Black. No white person will ever be above me. That's that! And yes, they all just friggin nuts. But you wanna something bamba, we really can't live without them can we?

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