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Why white men love the black woman

Posted by James, 31 Aug

Ever wondered why some white guys, love black women so much?

It seems that being a white male and proclaiming your attraction to black women (not only sexually, but also romantically) may lead to a lot of controversial and dangerous things. Let’s leave the debate of why more black women may be opening themselves up to white guys. The main focus of this debate is: why some white guys are opening themselves to black women. Let’s concentrate on that.

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Most white males don’t feel like they are running short of white women to marry. White males just marry at high rates. So question is: Why black women? The thing is it will not be fair to bundle up black women as one since everyone is their own person… be it in appearance or personality.

However, one thing that a white male friend of mine said… and I let him get away with bundling it all up is: “We love a black woman's confidence, her tenacity and her undeniable achievements in the face of great adversity...᾿ Since this info was coming from a man, there was definitely the mention of the lips, the curves, and that wonderful skin as well.

So what about stereotypes like “black women are either sexually conservative or total sluts?" Many people give so much lip service to interracial dating sites. You would think they have never done it. But those uptight individuals are the ones that spread these stereotypes. What happened to the highly educated black woman? How about the caring, decent and involved black woman?

Probably most white guys and others are confused with the stereotypical trash people spread around and if you are one that falls for such lame ol’ lines, then you sure as hell haven’t dated a black woman.

Bottom line, you don't have to sacrifice who you are for a white guy. They will love you anyway. Just be you and open yourself up… and if you like white guys, some white guy will find you too.

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8096 responses to "Why white men love the black woman"

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  1.   Member says:
    Posted: 31 Mar 10

    Dear Sal Latino Mail, are you saying there is NO people that don't outside of their race for personal reasons concerning "their own race". I think it very plausible that it happens. You seem to forget what those sellout black women blogs are for. 90 percent of their blogs mention "how bad" black men are. I am so secure in my way of "thinking". It would be hard for me to believe an Asian man bumps into a black woman while helping a cancer patient on the job and fall in love. I hear a couple stories and I am to assume that is happening "for all black women". Why can't that Asian man meet a black woman in the black community? Instead you make some "far fetched" scenario that almost sounds like an insult to black women. If you really care about black women, you can see them in the black community. They are the majority here. Good day idiot. Keep making up fantasy novels. I heard black women love those romantic novels.

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  2.   lala123 says:
    Posted: 31 Mar 10

    For some of the comments I have read (tyrant): It's about not about self-validation. It's about treatment: if you have never been intimidated, brutalized, terrorized, or belittled by a person or group with power because you are black than you can't possibly know what its like. Racism is terrorism on every level: mental, psychological, and physical. You are NOT human if it does not affect you whether consciously or unconsciously. How would you feel, if just once, someone terrorized your loved one? To watch the terror helplessly and only helplessly because you are defenseless? The guilt from that helplessness is indescribably haunting and degrading- the guilt alone. It's almost like a rape: a violation you cannot simply "get over" or "shake off". Many times its not always what was down, but how it was done- how the racist act was carried out. Yes, you get on with your life; you live with it; tolerate it because you have to get on, but it will always be an open wound that wakes you up at night and makes you cry. No, you couldn't possible know.

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  3.   lala123 says:
    Posted: 31 Mar 10

    James I'm so happy to know there are men like you who allow black women to be themselves;that black women can just be without feeling they need to be more because they are black. I need to feel like a woman first and black second. I'm a 24 year-old black women and as each year passes by, I find myself opening up more to non-black men. It gets harder and harder to find black men who love professional, independent black women- many seem to look elsewhere for relationships and families. Unfortunately for black women, there is a shortage of well to do black men (that's not grouping them into one stereotypical basket). Their place and predicament in the black community is a complex one that stems from every form of racism (economic, institutionalized, brainwashing,etc.) mainly by the hands of white male domination. Yes, black women know that. But we need relationships, families, and love too. We need the things many non-white women seem to take advantage of regularly. I am not limiting myself to black men anymore. I can't afford to if I want the fulfillment and happiness in life I deserve.

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  4.   TYRANT says:
    Posted: 31 Mar 10

    Ichibod: Funny how he’s not comtemplating life wife you. When a person’s self esteem falls in a relationship, it usually takes years. Wow!! You’ve managed to derive that much thought of being with him after only a couple of posts? Obsessed much? And what do you mean by, “a man like you”? TYRANT or a black man? TYRANT: Ichibod, THANK YOU, for putting an END to this SENSELESS debate. I LOVE a good argument as much as the next person, but when you're speaking to a woman, like Bama, who can't READ, it becomes a chord. It's unfortunate Bama couldn't grasp what I was saying when I first replied to her, but hey, everyone can't be SMART. LOL

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  5.   BeaLvly says:
    Posted: 31 Mar 10

    I don't usually post. As an intelligent, educated African-American woman, I choose not to partake of blatant ignorance, as I have seen displayed on this board...which is quite sad,because it began with a wonderful topic. In the beginning I enjoyed reading the post, and getting to know the outstanding men and women who shared and contributed. I want to say hello to Sarah and Scoff. GOD bless you both. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us....for strengthening us with your courage in the face of that dispicable ugliness called racism. My husband and I appreciate you so very much. Bama, I love you girl. You are a beautiful, strong, positive, and outstanding sister. The brazen and atrocious level of disrespect that I have seen leveled against you is appalling....but you stood strong, and continued to be magnificent......for all who do not know and or understand, that one thing alone epitomizes the indomitable black woman. Throught it all.....we stand and are magnificent. Much love and honor to all of my sisters....each and every one of you. Much love to all of the men who have been honorable, and positive contributors. May the LORD bless and keep you all.

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  6.   Salsassin says:
    Posted: 31 Mar 10

    Usual stupidity. Let me know where the percentage is in this statement: “Listen, people lie when they say they date outside their race for “love”. There has to be something within your race that made you fed up.” No, that is what is called an absolute claim. I could talk about A Hispanic male dating an Asian woman, A White man with a pacific Islander girl, A Native American male with a Black woman. A Black man with a Samoan woman. It wouldn't matter how they met according to your stupid ass. All of them would think there is something messed up in their own "race". Wow brilliant deduction from the resident moron.

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  7.   Member says:
    Posted: 31 Mar 10

    Oh you could give a damn about percentages now. If only if those numbers benefit your argument. I guess googling the Asian falling in love with black women after giving her "beef fried rice and chicken wings" is the "norm". LOL Please give me more examples. I am waiting.

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  8.   Salsassin says:
    Posted: 30 Mar 10

    I could give a shit what the percentages are. The fact still remains you made a stupid claim of fact. And I can give a ton more examples that are much more prolific. Bottom line, you are full of shit. No, it was not a hypothetical. It actually happened.

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  9.   Member says:
    Posted: 30 Mar 10

    Dear Ich It is far fetched hypothetical. Why is so much wishful thinking going on this blog? A white midget bumps into a black woman and they fall in love. Let's deal with reality here. Asian men are in the same boat as black women. However, they rather be with Asian women. Maybe I am reading the numbers wrong but I rarely see Asian men with black women. I read an article about Africa. Some of the Chinese business men "mingle" with the African women. The article kind of hinted towards prostitution. Anyway, I thought it was interesting that Asian business men in Africa are mingling with black women. Perhaps, to be less non threatening to the native black people. I would have to research it. I just want to point out something. Sellout black women "get men" of all races (no question about that). The problem is can they KEEP ONE or get one to marry them. You can put up 50 points a game but if you don't get the NBA ring. It doesn't really matter. Good day

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  10.   Ichibod says:
    Posted: 30 Mar 10

    MLQ, I believe Sal was giving hypothetical scenarios. Among men, Asians seemed to be picked last as well. I know a Korean guy married Kim Fields a long time ago, but the point is people can and do date and marry each other because of physical attraction and similiar interest. There are also matters of security, finances, government (legal) status, that marriage is used for, but traditional courtship is based upon physical attraction and personality compatibility. I know you knew that. You just like going back and forth with Sal.

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  11.   Member says:
    Posted: 30 Mar 10

    QQ Sal It was a true "rare story" you heard about an Asian man working with a black woman they "fell" for each other. (Mocking you). I am stupid to "point out" that is not the "norm" for relationships concerning black women. I don't want you to think I am not "open minded". Google how many Asian men are with black women. Since you are "known" for the googling. Queen Latifah Bama, She said this.................. "I think the 2010 census is going to put to rest a lot of this because I believe the number of sistas marrying white men will be higher then ever." Oh yea, you think so. Thinking is not the reality sorry. I think, I might get rich. Therefore I am rich! Again, you are up in age so I will let this go. You also said this... "Bamababe: As far as white men dating black women last, says who? I think that’s a myth started by some members of the media to basically make black women feel as we don’t have chance with a white man. I’ve known and are friends with white dudes and a lot of them PREFER that’s right PREFER black women. Shocker huh?" Oh the "media" did it to black women now. The media that 'consist" of white men. A conspiracy by white men to "keep other white men" from being with black women. (Wait) HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Oh Lord, this is to much. I am leaving.

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  12.   Ichibod says:
    Posted: 30 Mar 10

    You know what? I'm going to follow Menelik's advice and leave this twit alone. She can't read to save her life. I don't use the term sellout, but the idea behind it's use here I totally agree with. I've given it months ago in other topics and well as a couple posts ago here. TYRANT has given it, and MLQ (the originator of it's usage here and on his blog) has given it. What, she didn't read that? How come she couldn't read that? It was right on her screen. Just scroll up. Unless her mouse or monitor is glitchy, the words shouldn't move around or disappear. Do we need to give her a phone call to tell it to her live? Singing telegram? Braile? Other sistas on this board aren't defending her. If she thinks encouraging her to stay in the fight is a defense, then Ichibod says, "Yo, Bamabozo! Stay in the fight Girl! Woo Hoo!!!" Bama, There's my so called defense... as if that is what a defense really is. As I recall (your constant spewing of lunacy has knocked the posts of the board) you were advised by women to cut it out and that this blog is a war zone that you must be fit it order to survive. I've never heard a warning like that given unless a person who is viewed as ill-equipped was about to attempt something dangerous. I said... "The fact that SOME black women are picked last by MOST white men is disturbing on many levels pertaining to our society's views" and "I’ve got two first cousins with white husbands. One of them has 2 kids." You said... "I’ve known and are friends with white dudes and a lot of them PREFER that’s right PREFER black women. Shocker huh?" Um, no! It isn't shocking at all. However look at the topic heading. Then read the first line of this topic's article. Why are there no other topics like this referencing other races, and why weren't there many white men saying anything about their love for black women on this board? No one said white men never want black women. Just calm down about it. Women have YouTube video montages of white men with black women. Black women need montages? I don't think so. Only certain ones, and I find that deplorable. You said to TYRANT... "What I think the truth is your fear is that YOU don’t measure up to black women. That’s the fear." Well, I say to YOU Bama... "What I think the truth is your fear is that YOU don’t measure up to black women. That’s the fear." Touche! You also said to TYRANT... "I really would have low self-esteem if I dated you." and... "... and I would be a dead women if I waited for a man like you to validate me." Funny how he's not comtemplating life wife you. When a person's self esteem falls in a relationship, it usually takes years. Wow!! You've managed to derive that much thought of being with him after only a couple of posts? Obsessed much? And what do you mean by, "a man like you"? TYRANT or a black man? Anyway, I'm done for now. I can keep going but I'll leave this alone because you're not understanding anything. You're a selective listener/hearer/reader. You probably were the kid who said your parents hated you when they spanked you. You cried and most likely cried louder, when they tried to explain why you got spanked, to drown out their voices. Brat ;p

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  13.   TYRANT says:
    Posted: 30 Mar 10

    Bamababe: Tryrant baby if it makes you feel like a man to call me names like I said have it, obviously you have to make up for something you are lacking in some department whatever that maybe. TYRANT: Whatever gets you through the PATHETIC EXCUSE that is your life, Bama. LOL Bamababe: The truth is you just proving to the ladies in this room what a true gentleman you really are. Have a good one doll. TYRANT: Why should I care about the opinion of women I'll NEVER meet; that doesn't make any sense to me, does it make one bit of sense to you? Besides, I've never been one to care what people online/offline THINK of me, that's your department.

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  14.   Bamababe2k9 says:
    Posted: 30 Mar 10

    Tryrant baby if it makes you feel like a man to call me names like I said have it, obviously you have to make up for something you are lacking in some department whatever that maybe. The truth is you just proving to the ladies in this room what a true gentleman you really are. :) Have a good one doll.

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  15.   TYRANT says:
    Posted: 30 Mar 10

    Bamababe: Sayes the man who still couldn’t figure out that someone else called him a pig the other night. LOL you still waiting for Sal to validate you sweetheart? TYRANT: Bama, I have absolutely no problem calling you an IDIOT. Why? Because if I DON'T LIKE something you've said I'm going to call you on it. Show me where Salassin called me a PIG. He didn't refer to me by name, so as far as I'm concerned he wasn't talking to me. Bamababe: I really would have low self-esteem if I dated you. What I think the truth is your fear is that YOU don’t measure up to black women. That’s the fear. That’s why you pissed and use humor to cover up your own insecurities. TYRANT: You have LOW SELF-ESTEEM now, you're just too STUPID to realize that sad fact. Anyway, the only place you'll ever date me is in your DREAMS. I've never dated a STUPID woman and I'm not going to start now. Bamababe: It takes guts and heart to date outside your race and I would be a dead women if I waited for a man like you to validate me. I’d rather be by myself. TYRANT: You're by yourself now, but that's not the point. The fact remains you base you whole sense of SELF-WORTH over whether or not you can attract a white man. If that doesn't say LOSER I don't know what does. You can attempt to disguise your low self-esteem with that tripe about having guts to date outside of your race, but the TRUTH is if you really had any GUTS you'd go after the man of your CHOICE and ask him out for a cup of coffee (or whatever it is idiots like you usually do) LOL Bamababe: You give off the representation that you can’t stand to be challenged and when you are you resort to name-calling when can’t think of something better to say. I’ve been called worse and by smarter people then you so it’s hard for me to be offended by anything you said. If I did, that means that I’m what you say I am and I know I’m not. TYRANT: Bama, how can you challenge me when you lack basic READING/COMPREHENSION skills? I resort to name calling because you've proven yourself to be a MORON. It's not a question of whether or not I THINK you're STUPID. Why would I waste my time thinking about something that you've already proven (In this case, how STUPID you are). I don't expect any of this to make sense to you because you're well...STUPID. Bamababe: I’ve been called worse and by smarter people then you TYRANT: You mean your PARENTS have called you STUPID too? Damn, and I thought I was the only one who knew you were an IDIOT. It's nice to know that there are people who see you the same way I do. LOL

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  16.   Bamababe2k9 says:
    Posted: 30 Mar 10

    Sayes the man who still couldn't figure out that someone else called him a pig the other night. LOL you still waiting for Sal to validate you sweetheart? I really would have low self-esteem if I dated you. What I think the truth is your fear is that YOU don't measure up to black women. That's the fear. That's why you pissed and use humor to cover up your own insecurities. It takes guts and heart to date outside your race and I would be a dead women if I waited for a man like you to validate me. I'd rather be by myself. You give off the representation that you can't stand to be challenged and when you are you resort to name-calling when can't think of something better to say. I've been called worse and by smarter people then you so it's hard for me to be offended by anything you said. If I did, that means that I'm what you say I am and I know I'm not. So if you feel the need to call me names then have it, it just makes you look bad, not me.

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  17.   TYRANT says:
    Posted: 30 Mar 10

    and UNREALISTIC. Anyway Bama, my point is that until black women and men learn to VALIDATE themselves and each other no matter who you get you're ALWAYS going to feel like you DON'T measure up. In fact, you're going to feel INFERIOR.

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  18.   TYRANT says:
    Posted: 30 Mar 10

    Queens: Tyrant good job spanking “Bama”. Those down south black women always “looking for attention”. Using the white man to “draw attention to themselves” from black men. Classic ploy these sellout black women do. TYRANT: I can't take all the credit, after all, if it hadn't been for the fact that Bama is STUPID to begin with I would've actually had to debate her. Bamababe: Tryrant do you honestly think anyone other then these dudes actually listen to you? TYRANT: You listen to me, and to be honest, I wouldn't be surprised at all if you were waiting patiently by your computer for my reply to one of your IDIOTIC post. Like I said Bama, I just don't take you seriously. Think about it, would you take someone seriously who didn't take the time to READ your post? I think NOT. Bamababe: As far as white men dating black women last, says who? I think that’s a myth started by some members of the media to basically make black women feel as we don’t have chance with a white man. I’ve known and are friends with white dudes and a lot of them PREFER that’s right PREFER black women. Shocker huh? TYRANT: Bama, this is the PROBLEM I have with black women who think as you do. Your whole sense of SELF-WORTH and VALIDATION is based on whether or not you can get a white man. Oddly enough I've come across black men on Black Voices who base their SELF-ESTEEM and VALIDATION on whether they're able to get a white woman. What do both sides have in common? (Bama if your brain is good for anything besides a paper weight, you should be able to see where I'm going with this.) Then again, asking you to THINK is UNFAIR

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  19.   Salsassin says:
    Posted: 30 Mar 10

    Usual Queen stupidity. That was a true story from my friends in NY. Try again.

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  20.   Bamababe2k9 says:
    Posted: 30 Mar 10

    Tryrant do you honestly think anyone other then these dudes actually listen to you? LOL I mean you get all puff over what? A few childish comments that make you look like a 12 year and you actually think you made a point? Seriously? LOL Ok whatever floats your boat. Ich as Ive said to you before you have no problem coming to the defense of this idiots and I don't know why. My thing is if Queenie over there is calling us a sell-out you know you one too right? He ain't going to say that to you because he needs someone on his side and as long as he has you and the other two idiots appalud him occasionally, he continue with his bullshit philsophy. As far as white men dating black women last, says who? I think that's a myth started by some members of the media to basically make black women feel as we don't have chance with a white man. I've known and are friends with white dudes and a lot of them PREFER that's right PREFER black women. Shocker huh? I think the 2010 census is going to put to rest a lot of this because I believe the number of sistas marrying white men will be higher then ever. And FYI eight percent of brothas marrying white women is not exactly high so does mean white women are putting ya'll last as well? If it was even 10 or 15 percent maybe but eight? In sports terms that sounds like some kind of moral victory. @Queenie again says the man who has NO WOMAN LOL You like the poor guy trying to tell the rich dude how to make money. How you going to talk about anybody when you don't have prospects. No wife, no gf, no kids and you trying to talk about me. Too damn funny. Shit really? Queenie you better get with that eight percent and get you a white girl and stop playing LOL

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  21.   Member says:
    Posted: 30 Mar 10

    Dear Sal You said this "So if an Asian man has a passion for helping kids with cancer, and he bumps into a Black woman who has a similar passion, and they find out they have so much more in common, she is really dating him, because she thinks something is fed up in the Black male community. Wow, what great logic." So, if we go with your logic. I won't even go with your logic because it is pure fantasy. You know how many black women work in the healthcare field? There is a quite a few that do and "they are still being picked last". That Asian man scenario is about as realistic as "Michael Jackson having a sex tape with a woman". I would have to see it to believe it! Asian men won't even date black women. There are some rare exceptions. The sad part is they are in the same "boat" as black women. They got the nerve to "pass on black women" too! Now if these sellout black women start telling make believe stories of Asian men "chasing them down". I don't think they can be taken serious ever again. You should go to Hollywood with your creative fantasy stories for black women. I don't believe in "wishful thinking". I deal with reality. Most people date outside of their race because their race "made them disappointed or fed up'. The proof is right in their blog. They talk about black men 90 percent of the time. It is never about the love for the white boy or anything like that. He is a damn meal ticket to sellout black women. Sal the same one that said "black women tend to be loud and desperate". He made some "comment" alluding to that. You ain't tired of the last ass whipping I gave you concerning the statistics you GAVE ME that proved MY POINT ENTIRELY. I am out. Tyrant good job spanking "Bama". Those down south black women always "looking for attention". Using the white man to "draw attention to themselves" from black men. Classic ploy these sellout black women do. 50 year old single black woman thinking she is going to get a white man. She is one of those older black women that are in the club saying "you like my legs". Damn near 50 years old dressing like you was one of Sal's illegal Latin mistresses he trying to keep in the country. This is pathetic Tatt I see you. (Throwing mic down and leaving the stage).

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  22.   TYRANT says:
    Posted: 29 Mar 10

    Bamababe, when your LOOKS go-that's provided you're even remotely appealing-you're DEAD. Outside of SEX you have NOTHING to CONTRIBUTE to a relationship.

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  23.   TYRANT says:
    Posted: 29 Mar 10

    Bamababe: LIke I said do what you normally do: Get loud, be obnxious and never really discuss the points. Still like rolling the mud don’t you? LOL TYRANT: Thank you for giving me permission to BREAK BAD-like I really need it. ROFL Bamababe, YOU just DON'T GET IT! I don't take you seriously so why would I want to discuss anything with you? It's not like you'd understand what I'm saying. Damn, if I'm going to debate someone I'm going to argue with someone who at least took the time to READ what I type. I'm not going to debate someone who's making up things I supposely said as we go along.

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  24.   Salsassin says:
    Posted: 29 Mar 10

    "Listen, people lie when they say they date outside their race for "love". There has to be something within your race that made you fed up." Now that is the dumbest shit I have heard in a while. Only a person who thinks race is biological would ever believe that. Ethnic groups are social constructs. Cultures. Races are just ethnic groups created out of racial beliefs in the past. Not all people think on racial lines. I guess if someone dates a Baptist and he is Pentecostal, it couldn't be love. It had to be because something in the Pentecostal group was feded up. No, people don't fall in love because of common interests anymore. It is all about the race. GTFOH. So if an Asian man has a passion for helping kids with cancer, and he bumps into a Black woman who has a similar passion, and they find out they have so much more in common, she is really dating him, because she thinks something is fed up in the Black male community. Wow, what great logic.

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  25.   Ichibod says:
    Posted: 29 Mar 10

    Nice one, TYRANT. I will post this part AGAIN since she just doesn't get it. What she fails to realize is: “I think the problem I have with this is the hyprocrisy of this whole argument that it’s ok for black men to date white women, but not ok for black women to date white men.” NO ONE EVER SAID THAT so… “So I’m asking a very pointed question, why the double standard?” The double standard is all in her head. She can date whomever she pleases. Who is here calling anyone sellout? Take that issue up with them and them only. Even that article shows women calling men sellouts. So, I don't see why this isn't sinking in. Anyone that is opposing her is not opposing her for the same reasons, aside from how she expresses herself, lack of attention to detail, and childlike "I will say just about anything that might possibly make you leave me alone" stance. "Ich I knew you’d come running too because as usual you are going to defend your brothas but not your sistas. And once again neither one of you explained to me or the other women why is ok for us to be called sell-outs and not black men? Ich didn’t you say you dated outside your race too? So why aren’t you considered a sell-out?" Bama, Actually, I took my dear time getting here. I've defended many sistas on this blog for numerous reasons on numerous occassions. I've never defended sistas or BROTHAS (yes, I've encountered 2 and ONLY 2) who ONLY date outside our race and use members of our race as reasons for doing so. I can't answer why some people call some people names and not others. I'm only responsible for what I do. The fact that SOME black women are picked last by MOST white men is disturbing on many levels pertaining to our societies views. A person is free to associate with whomever. Now stop picking apart comments. I only rubbed your own comment in your face but you're just being too childish to see that.

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  26.   Bamababe2k9 says:
    Posted: 29 Mar 10

    Oh the the responses from this article are just as interesting. Just some food for thought. http://www.racialicious.com/2009/06/12/interracial-dating-black-women-aren%E2%80%99t-the-only-foes-of-interracial-romance/

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  27.   Bamababe2k9 says:
    Posted: 29 Mar 10

    Good article about why some white women don't like interracial dating and marriage either. INTERRACIAL DATING: BLACK WOMEN AREN’T THE ONLY FOES OF INTERRACIAL ROMANCE by Special Correspondent Nadra Kareem Do black women regard interracial relationships as a personal affront? I can’t count the number of times I’ve seen this issue raised. On June 2, it surfaced once more when blogger the Black Snob posted a thought-provoking piece on those who oppose interracial relationships called “Sometimes the White Girl (Or Guy) Isn’t about You (Unconventional Wisdom).” The post begins with the Snob recalling her days in school when two black girls unsuccessfully try to jump a white classmate who’s dating a black guy. Throughout the piece, the Snob not only questions the rationale the two girls used to justify beating up their white peer but the rationale that black women in general draw upon to oppose interracial relationships. Are black women being fair when they assume that a black guy dating a white chick is a sell-out? And how do the insecurities of black women in Western society factor into their objection of interracial relationships? She writes, “Some black guys are going to date white girls. Attempting to beat up the white girls will not turn that tide. …You’d be better off learning to love yourself than becoming mired in bitterness and hate over that thing that’s not really about you.” The Snob’s points are valid. However, after reading her piece and others like it, I find myself wondering why black women are constantly portrayed as if they are only ones who react negatively to interracial relationships. As a black woman who has been involved with a white guy for more than a year, I’ve faced my fair share of hostility from white women, and some Asian ones, who seem resentful of my partnership. None of these women have disapproved of my relationship aloud, but they don’t really have to. Their body language says enough. They do double-takes when they learn my boyfriend and I are together. They give me the side-eye or attempt to look me up and down when they think I won’t notice. Others have just been aloof or exhibited general bitchiness when I try to make conversation with them. I know that if I am having such experiences other black women involved with non-black men are as well. Yet, black women continue to bear the onus for the hostility that black-white interracial couples face. The sad thing about this to me is that the reasons a black woman might object to an interracial relationship are wholly different from the reasons a white woman might. Black women worry how the black community will be affected overall if, say, the most successful black men find themselves with white women again and again. They worry about the effect interracial relationships have on low marriage rates in the black community. In contrast, when I encounter white women who cop an attitude upon discovering that my boyfriend and I are an item, their hostility comes from a very different place—a place of superiority. It’s as if they are asking themselves, “Why on earth would he be with a black girl when I’m here?” Adding insult to injury is that it doesn’t seem to matter whether I’m more or less physically attractive than these women. That I’m black alone makes me inferior in their eyes. It comes down to this: women accustomed to being prizes in Western society are thrown for a loop when they see a white man who’s chosen a different option. As ridiculous as it sounds, their behavior reminds me of the Valley girl at the beginning of the “Baby Got Back” record who says in disgust, “She’s so black.” Black women aren’t supposed to be desirable, so when an eligible white male partners with a black woman, it’s not surprising that some people are going to react with shock or hostility. I discussed this issue with a black friend several months ago. Then, she said of white women, “You know they’re threatened by us.” Sure, I know that some white women may be intimated by black women they view in stereotypes—loud, overbearing and aggressive. But I did not think that white women were threatened by black women in the romantic realm. Is this akin to white men being jealous of the fabled size of black men’s penises? Are white women worried that they can’t compete with black women sexually? I don’t know. Yet, this isn’t the first time I’ve seen this issue raised. Years ago when I was reading a profile on Oprah Winfrey, the writer suggested that the talk show queen wouldn’t have so many white women fans if she were more sexually threatening. In short, if Oprah were slender and alluring instead of the woman white ladies bring their problems to, she wouldn’t be as successful. I wonder how valid this statement is. I do know that, on the surface, a few of the hostile white women I’ve encountered have no problem with black women. They do volunteer work involving the black community and are eager to sympathize with the woes of black women. But, upon learning that my boyfriend chose to date me, they are taken aback. Rather than being a rung below them on the social ladder—someone in need of their help—a black woman had effectively become their competitor and, thus, their equal

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  28.   Member says:
    Posted: 29 Mar 10

    Dear Kingpin Longtime no see. I am glad your marriage is doing well. Yea we are practically neighbors. You were born in Vermont and she is from SC. Yea that is a huge cultural difference if you ask me. I got my own personal feelings about "Southern" black women. I am 31 year myself. To answer your questions about "black women selling out". They sellout because 99 percent of them bash black men for some reason or "another". The other black women that say nothing are "complicit" just as well. I can't see anybody riding the fence on this issue. If a white man marries you, that is not failure. I have respect for marriage. However, a majority of sellout black women are not even married to white men but "worshiping them". It makes absolutely no sense. Who brags about having a white man as a "mate" and you are not even sure "he wants to marry you". This is the type of mentality that makes black women fail. How do you know what was your wife's motive for "marrying you"? You will never know. It depends on the black woman's background, age and her past relationships. Black women have a habit of "creating the truth" to suit themselves. If you haven't notice it on this board, black women authors tend to have a selective memory when it comes to dating. It is everybody else fault that dating is fucked up but "them". Listen, people lie when they say they date outside their race for "love". There has to be something within your race that made you fed up. I have heard white guys said they stop dating white women because they are to materialistic. My question is why do white men date "outside their race". Why did they stop dating white women? People want to be politically correct. I know white guys with biracial kids and really dislike associating with black people. This white women at my job told me this. I was like "how the hell you have half black kids" but don't want to associate with black people. In the future, they need more research on white men on drives to date outside their race. They seem to get a "pass on this board" because the fat nose, wide butt, sellout black women be defending all the time!

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  29.   Bamababe2k9 says:
    Posted: 29 Mar 10

    LIke I said do what you normally do: Get loud, be obnxious and never really discuss the points. Still like rolling the mud don't you? LOL

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  30.   TYRANT says:
    Posted: 29 Mar 10

    Bamababe: Well alright here comes the cavarly. Good morning fellows knew it wouldn’t take you long to scream and jump up and down on this subject sense I “called” you out. TYRANT: I hate to be the bearer of BAD NEWS, but the CALVERY has been here since this argument started. Bamababe: Tyrant you proved my point again. TYRANT: You have a point to prove? Wow! That's shocking. Tyrant you proved my point again. When I TRIED to explain my point to you, you get obnxious and loud as if I was talking about you . As I told queenie the other day, you sound like I’m a gangester who rolled up to your neighborhood trying to start some mess. TYRANT: Oh please, let's not ruin my IMAGE of GANGSTERS by comparing yourself with one, because you are far too inept to be a gangster. Bamababe: Ich I knew you’d come running too because as usual you are going to defend your brothas but not your sistas. And once again neither one of you explained to me or the other women why is ok for us to be called sell-outs and not black men? Ich didn’t you say you dated outside your race too? So why aren’t you considered a sell-out? TYRANT: Bama, I've read a LOT of Ichibod's post since coming to this board, and he doesn't impress me as the type of person who'd support an IRRATIONAL-that would be you-person's argument. If I'd said the things that you posted I'm CONFIDENT he would come down like he came down on you. Either way, the fact remains that YOU DIDN'T READ, and because you didn't READ, you're being CHASTIZED. Bamababe: And as far as rubbing in my face oh I think you enjoyed that a little don’t you think? I think both of you enjoy kinda rubbing in the sistas faces well white men don’t marry ya’ll. TYRANT: Bama, the vast MAJORITY of black women-with the exception of you-are STRONG, BEAUTIFUL, INTELLIGENT, LOVING, and EDUCATED, and some white men are acting on their attraction. I can see white men dating/marrying white women, I just CAN'T SEE a white man dating/marrying you. Why? Because you're a frakkin MORON. Then again, it's rumored that Condoleeza Rice had an affair with George Bush, so if those two idiots can get their swirl on then ANYTHING is possible. ROFL Bamababe: I’ll be waiting when you guys are ready to discuss the sell-out question although I know hell will be freezing over then. TYRANT: Bama, I'd be more than HAPPY to discuss the SELL-OUT question with you. EARLY APRIL FOOLS. ROFL Picture me discussing a subject like SELLING-OUT with a MORON like you. Besides, I wouldn't be conversing with you, I'd be addressing the DEMONS who are in possession of your SOUL. TYRANT: Beelzebub, I COMMAND YOU in the name of our HOLY FATHER to leave Bamababe and release her soul. Beelzebub: Damn TYRANT, YOU AGAIN! What is it with you? You've chased me out of the bodies of THREE-HUNDRED black women and I'm SICK of it. I like it here in Bama's soul. Three hots and a cot, cable TV, high speed internet, air conditioning, and let's not forget the added bonus...This broad is DUMBER than a door knob, but I'll KILL for her. Sorry dude, but you're going to have to accept the fact that EVIL has finally found a place to dwell. TYRANT: What does a demon NEED with high speed internet? While we're on that subject, what about the APOCALYPSE? Beelzebub: Dude, got it covered. We decided to shelve the whole ARMAGEDDON thing for a more subtle approach. Instead, we've decided to use STUPID black women-like Bamababe-to DESTROY all of MANKIND. TYRANT: You fiend. Actually I'm jealous because I didn't think of the idea myself. Well, good luck with that, but this isn't over. Beelzebub: Oh it's over MOTHER FRAKKER. I'm going to use this IDIOT to date/marry Rush Limbaugh. TYRANT: That was just too much information. LOL

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  31.   Bamababe2k9 says:
    Posted: 29 Mar 10

    Well alright here comes the cavarly. Good morning fellows knew it wouldn't take you long to scream and jump up and down on this subject sense I "called" you out. Tyrant you proved my point again. When I TRIED to explain my point to you, you get obnxious and loud as if I was talking about you . As I told queenie the other day, you sound like I'm a gangester who rolled up to your neighborhood trying to start some mess. Ich I knew you'd come running too because as usual you are going to defend your brothas but not your sistas. And once again neither one of you explained to me or the other women why is ok for us to be called sell-outs and not black men? Ich didn't you say you dated outside your race too? So why aren't you considered a sell-out? And as far as rubbing in my face oh I think you enjoyed that a little don't you think? I think both of you enjoy kinda rubbing in the sistas faces well white men don't marry ya'll. Really? Probably because as I have stated that a lot black women still want black men, not because we can't have white men as you guys seem to think. But if that keeps your egos in check "believing" that we can't get or marry a white man then have at it. I'll be waiting when you guys are ready to discuss the sell-out question although I know hell will be freezing over then.

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  32.   TYRANT says:
    Posted: 29 Mar 10

    Bamababe: I had to get this off my chest TYRANT: Don't you think you've said enough already? Bamababe: The Amen Corner goes up when Queens start calling us sell-outs instead of saying they have a right to date whom they want. TYRANT: Bama, you have the RIGHT to date whomever you like...there, HAPPY? By the way, I don't have an ISSUE with black women dating OUTSIDE their race, but I do have an ISSUE with black women who BASH black men in the process of dating outside of their race. I'm not going to ask if this makes SENSE to you because I know it doesn't. Bamababe: I haven’t seen a SINGLE white male on any of these boards call their white women sell-outs for being with black men. I’m sure a bunch of them don’t like it either, but they don’t disrespect the females as much as some of the brothas do. TYRANT: Bama, the only reason I'm treating you like an ASS is because you came out like one. If you took the time to READ my post and reply to me instead of holding a conversation with YOUR DEMONS, the odds are quite high we wouldn't be here still discussing this topic. Bamababe: To be honest, I heard other black women say (right or wrong) that’s why they want to date a white man because in their eyes they believe they will be treated better. TYRANT: Really!...That's nice. I wish them ALL the HAPPINESS in the WORLD. Bamababe: I don’t have a problem discussing the issues when it comes to interracial dating and marriage, TYRANT: No-No, that's quite alright, I think I've heard more than enough of your views to DETERMINE that you're INCAPABLE of having a discussion about ANYTHING (especially interracial dating/marriage). Why don't you stick to topics like the WEATHER? There's no way you could possibly SCREW that up. Then again...I've been wrong before.

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  33.   TYRANT says:
    Posted: 29 Mar 10

    Hello Ichibod HAPPY NEW YEAR and good to see you. I told this IDIOT (Bamababe) in ENGLISH that I DON'T CARE who she cracks her legs for, but for some odd reason, she's under the ASSumption that I sit up every single night wondering who her and thousands of black women-just like her are screwing. Nothing could be further from the truth. What's INTERESTING is this MORON (Bamababe, I'm talking about you.) does NOT pay ATTENTION to what she types, and then she wonders WHY she's getting FLACK. Look, I'm NOT a nice guy, and to be honest, I have no desire to be, but I am FAIR. I gave this DUNCE the the benefit of the DOUBT and a chance to prove herself, and all she's done is PROVING herself to be very STUPID. Thanks for taking the time to go back and READ where this whole ARGUMENT began and went downhill. LOL. Now if you'll excuse me, it's time to once again take out the TRASH (Bamababe). Have a great day.

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  34.   Ichibod says:
    Posted: 29 Mar 10

    Some wierdo said this: "I haven’t read many sistas on here who said I date a white men BECAUSE of…FILL IN THE BLANK." and then this stuff: "I think another problem is a lot black men aren’t on the same level education and job wise as black women, therefore black women are turning more to white men as well. You date who is available to you, for more and more black women, that’s white men." then... "That’s why you don’t see more black women with white men. Not because white men don’t want us or not interested, a lot of the times we aren’t interested." Let's throw this in here... "I don’t live in the past but yet I recognize and acknowledge it’s existence and it’s effects on the present and future." A corporate job suddenly makes white men interesting? The fact that they have had those for decades, own movies studios, car companies, record labels, write laws, have founded and run governments, and have ruled kingdoms for centuries must be a new phenomenon for them. Let's not forget the history of how they got control of all that stuff. Meanwhile... "And I just pointed out that three of my black gf’s all have WHITE husbands." Followed by... "So while you trying to lump my one comment onto ALL black men, aren’t you doing the same to black women and white men as well of which you have no proof or stated any to back up your comments?" 3 black women with white husbands doesn't mean anything. I've got two first cousins with white husbands. One of them has 2 kids. So why try to lump one comment onto all white men? She also said this: "Black men in my opinion never limited themselves but black women do." And then: "As far as black men go, several of them were dating and marrying white women in the 60’s. Sidney Pointer had a white wife back then, so did Sammy Davis Jr., Quincy Jones etc. so as far back as the 60’s and I assume even further, black men have dated and been with white women." Okay. Now the guys named were rich and famous celebrities. Way richer than what the "I think another problem is a lot black men aren’t on the same level education and job wise as black women..." comment suggests. And as far as as black men never limiting themselves... "Why Queenie says the white male magazines don’t encourage white men to date us, I don’t see Cosmo or Vogue encouraging white women to explore their options outside their race either." + "Black men don’t have that some pressure when it comes to dating outside the race as we do." = If black men never limited themselves and don't have the same pressures, then why would Cosmo and Vouge need to do that? What she fails to realize is: "I think the problem I have with this is the hyprocrisy of this whole argument that it’s ok for black men to date white women, but not ok for black women to date white men." No one ever said that so... "So I’m asking a very pointed question, why the double standard?" The double standard is all in her head. She can date whomever she pleases. No one cares. Just remember... "We already know that more black men marry white women and less black women marry white men." So white men have no say so in the marriage process. Black men propose, but white men don't. I'll have to ask my cousins how they proposed and what type of rings they purchased their white husbands. Not to mention more black men marry black women and more white men marry every other race over black women. Now, that's not to rub that in her face, but... "They are out there, they are interested, just up to the woman whether or not we decide to go for it." Happy hunting!

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  35.   Bamababe2k9 says:
    Posted: 29 Mar 10

    I had to get this off my chest but what a lot of you men fail to get where I'm coming from is the hyprocisy of this whole thing. The double-standards. The Amen Corner goes up when Queens start calling us sell-outs instead of saying they have a right to date whom they want. But he NEVER says anything about black men being sell-outs he just puts down black women and that's so distubing to read how many of you guys (and I mean the men)acutally go along with this shit. I haven't seen a SINGLE white male on any of these boards call their white women sell-outs for being with black men. I'm sure a bunch of them don't like it either, but they don't disrespect the females as much as some of the brothas do. To be honest, I heard other black women say (right or wrong) that's why they want to date a white man because in their eyes they believe they will be treated better. IF they read some of the things that have been said to me and some of the other women, you'd make their case for them. I don't have a problem discussing the issues when it comes to interracial dating and marriage, but what I do have a problem with and some of the ladies have agreed with me on this, is the lack of respect shown to the other voices on here. It's hard to have a conversation when it's one sided.

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  36.   Bamababe2k9 says:
    Posted: 29 Mar 10

    As usual the cavarly has come to the rescue

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  37.   Malarki5 says:
    Posted: 29 Mar 10

    Ichibod said: It’s funny how pointing out one sad contradiction can lead to false accusations of hating a person’s choice of partner’s...I’ve already been through it time and time again. I’ve asked questions and have not gotten answers to those questions time and time again. It’s sad and I feel your frustration. Menelik replies: thanks for the empathy, Bro! Menelik Charles London England

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  38.   Bamababe2k9 says:
    Posted: 29 Mar 10

    @Kingpin AMEN and thank God someone else has the courage to ask the same questions I have and call it as they see it. And Congrats to you and your wife! Cheers

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  39.   kingpin78 says:
    Posted: 29 Mar 10

    hello everybody. I used to participate somewhat on this board, but i havent contributed in quite some time. (almost a year) It amazes me that Mr Larelton Queens a year later is still up to the same thing. Being very rude and disrespectful and doing what he does best…pissing people off. But without him, this board wouldnt be nearly as exciting. Queens, if you remember, I invited you to my wedding this last year, but i failed to get back to you. We are practically like neighbors. You, if i remember right, live in Williamsport, and I live in Stroudsburg (Poconos). Well I have been happily married to my beautiful black wife for 8 months now. We love and respect each other to no end and the bond we have between us is unbreakable. She is 26, black, and born and raised in Charleston, SC. I am 31, white, and born and raised in northern Vermont. Quite the cultural difference huh? I showed her some of the stuff you come up with on here and all she could do was laugh. She calls you “mislead”, “misinformed”, and “frustrated” Queens, I just have a couple quick questions for you sir if you dont mind. You always talkin about the “the sellout black woman”. Just tell me, in your opinion, is it possible for a black woman, to date/marry outside her race WITHOUT being labeled a “sellout”? My wife has nothing at all against black men. She is not with me to “get back” at black men. She has not “given” up on black men. She is not with me out of spite. She is not with me because she has “run out of options”. She is not with me because of her accusation of there not being any “good black men” left. She is with me because we fell in love. She is with me because we love and respect each other. We just happen to be of different skin colors and different cultural backgrounds. Just forget everything you have ever been told or believe on this subject and ask yourself this one question. Is there really anything wrong with this??? one more question mr queens. One of your more commonly used phrases is: blah blah blah…and this is why black women fail. Black women fail at relationships. So just let me ask you, has my wife “failed” because she ended up with me? Has she “failed” because she had to “settle” for a white boy?

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  40.   Ichibod says:
    Posted: 29 Mar 10

    Damn it! I got tired of all the historical gobbledigook, so unsubscribe to this blog just before it got interesting. Greetings, Menelik. Always in step. Good to see you again also, TYRANT. Yes, Bigeyes. It did get a little crazy in here and I almost missed it. I'm glad you're having fun with your guy. It's funny how pointing out one sad contradiction can lead to false accusations of hating a person's choice of partner's, constant mention of pissing and penises, the assumptions that a person is either single or can't get a mate, and the classic "why are you worried about who I date/sleep with anyway" after putting dating preferences and opinons on front street. I've already been through it time and time again. I've asked questions and have not gotten answers to those questions time and time again. It's sad and I feel your frustration. Anyway, after reading all of the posts from a week ago and missing many points of entry into this debacle, I'll just add this... Who here ever said they had a problem with black women dating white men? It's no wonder no one is responding to the question about not having a problem with black men and white women. It's that simple. @ Menelik, Great exposition from March 26. I agree with that wholeheartedly and I've observed that throughout my life interacting with people, especially my own. I grew up in a predominantly white neighborhood myself. Here's the key. Predominantly doesn't mean totally. I grew up in military neighborhoods (half of my childhood, at least) in which the portrait of families living amongst each other was proportionate to that of the US population. While I had mostly white classmates, teachers, neighbors, and friends (amongst many other races), I still had black family members, friends, church members, as well as my own choice of TV programs to watch and magazines to look at. The media put out it's idea of feminine beauty, and I agreed with some of it, however as I said before, I used to like looking at the pictures of women in my mom's Essence, Ebony, and Jet magazines; not to mention the Sears and JC Penny catalogs (underwear sections). I've never had a specific racial preference, and I still don't. I have a specific gender preference and it's whomever of that gender that I like that likes me back. I understand history, society, culture, and how race fits on each facet. Many Christians should know that when they were children, they thought as a child, they spake as a child, and understoofd as a child. But when they become adults, they put away childish things. Perception effects how each of us grows as a person. If we say we experience something but have no understanding of what we experienced, that's not wisdom; that's foolishness. Some people some away with a limited or wrong understanding. It makes no sense to say that it doesn't not matter what race a person is, but that person still has tunnle vision toward one particular race. I've been accused of wanting a white woman before on this blog. Why is that? Just because many black women here are looking for a WHITE man doesn't mean that black men are equally closed minded. Many true motives come out in these blog comments. It's sad that poeple get so mad when someone merely shows them what they typed. Kudos to you both, TYRANT and Menelik!

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  41.   kingpin says:
    Posted: 28 Mar 10

    hello everybody. I used to participate somewhat on this board, but i havent contributed in quite some time. (almost a year) It amazes me that Mr Larelton Queens a year later is still up to the same thing. Being very rude and disrespectful and doing what he does best...pissing people off. But without him, this board wouldnt be nearly as exciting. Queens, if you remember, I invited you to my wedding this last year, but i failed to get back to you. We are practically like neighbors. You, if i remember right, live in Williamsport, and I live in Stroudsburg (Poconos). Well I have been happily married to my beautiful black wife for 8 months now. We love and respect each other to no end and the bond we have between us is unbreakable. She is 26, black, and born and raised in Charleston, SC. I am 31, white, and born and raised in northern Vermont. Quite the cultural difference huh? I showed her some of the stuff you come up with on here and all she could do was laugh. She calls you "mislead", "misinformed", and "frustrated" Queens, I just have a couple quick questions for you sir if you dont mind. You always talkin about the "the sellout black woman". Just tell me, in your opinion, is it possible for a black woman, to date/marry outside her race WITHOUT being labeled a "sellout"? My wife has nothing at all against black men. She is not with me to "get back" at black men. She has not "given" up on black men. She is not with me out of spite. She is not with me because she has "run out of options". She is not with me because of her accusation of there not being any "good black men" left. She is with me because we fell in love. She is with me because we love and respect each other. We just happen to be of different skin colors and different cultural backgrounds. Just forget everything you have ever been told or believe on this subject and ask youself this one question. Is there really anything wrong with this??? one more question mr queens. One of your more commonly used phrases is: blah blah blah...and this is why black women fail. Black women fail at relationships. So just let me ask you, has my wife "failed" because she ended up with me? Has she "failed" because she had to "settle" for a white boy?

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  42.   TYRANT says:
    Posted: 28 Mar 10

    Menelik: I hope bros Tyrant and Queens sense your plight and simply leave you alone. From now onwards, I will. TYRANT: Sense her plight, Menelik the woman is an IMBECILE. I admit, I wanted to give Bama the benefit of the doubt when I first replied to her, but when she lashed out at me, that's when I knew the woman is IRRATIONAL.

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  43.   MzBrOwNSuGaR says:
    Posted: 28 Mar 10

    Whispers to everybody else while Queens is not around: Pssst... I think I got it figured it out, it's something in that popcorn that makes him talk all out his head... ohh wait here he comes Shhhhhhh!!! Queens hon... neva mind agreeing with me. Every bit of that was uncalled for. You oughta be shame of yo self.

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  44.   Malarki5 says:
    Posted: 28 Mar 10

    Bamababe said: And noticed I haven’t asked who you are dating ? Menelik replied: I noticed you wrote the following. Bamababe said: you feel any sista that doesn’t bow down to you is somehow messed up in her head, that she isn’t into you. Menelik replies: the "any sista" you referred to happens to be my woman whom you have stated has to "bow down" in order so as to please me. Bamababe said: I just think you are a hyporcrite. You telling black women what they should be doing but not black man and I just asked out loud why? Menelik replied: when or where have I told Black women how to live their lives? Please quote. You can't because you're simply making stuff up so you don't have to deal with the issues I've raised above! People will read it, though, which I guess is no consolation to you! I was prepared to argue with you, madam but nigger-baiting is your only defence. Shame. You're at a point now where I could well and truly mock you but I actually feel very sorry for you. I hope bros Tyrant and Queens sense your plight and simply leave you alone. From now onwards, I will. So long. Menelik Charles London England

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  45.   Bamababe2k9 says:
    Posted: 28 Mar 10

    Yeah right you have a woman that's why you are up at 2am over there worrying about someone you don't know. I'm not on a black men/white woman board harrassing black women because they choose to date white men. Um that would be you. And noticed I haven't asked who you are dating because you know why? I just don't care. I really don't care if you are sleeping with a white woman, black woman man or dog. Because I just don't give a shit. I just think you are a hyporcrite. You telling black women what they should be doing but not black man and I just asked out loud why? You that concern about the black race and black love why aren't you preaching to the brothas as well? You know why? Probably because you want them on your side. Baby let me lay this down for you; get a life. Really get one. Because you trying to lay some kind of black gut onto me is getting pretty old and it's not working. I can give a shit what you think about me because you aren't my friend nor are you related to me. I hate to break this to you but you just a black dude from England who likes to play Dr. If you had a life, you actually wouldn't have time to worry about mine or any other black women as well. So you sleep on that babes. LOL

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  46.   Malarki5 says:
    Posted: 28 Mar 10

    Bamababe said: Menelik, like I said to Queenie, you have NO idea what you are talking about, and like to analyze people to cover up your own insecurities. Menelik replied: oh, so my analysis is null and void because I don't know you, right? Ok. I'll buy that. Bamababe said: my theory is, if you had more confidence in yourself, and what you have to offer a black woman,you wouldn’t be busy on here trying to analyze me... Menelik replied: but your 'analysis is correct...BECAUSE you don't know me, right? Your confusing me, babes! Bamababe said: You are projecting my darling your fear of the white man onto me because you feel like you can’t compete. Menelik replied: more 'analysis!'. You sure know how to turn the tables, dontcha babe? Bamababe said: if I pass you on the street I wouldn’t give you a second look because quite frankly you aren’t my type. Menelik replied: well, I sure know you're not my age so I guess you're not my type either! Bamababe said: And if you think environment doesn’t have an effect on how each of us grow as a person, then you don’t anything about sociology. Sociology 101 teaches us that. Menelik replied: what are you talking about (or projecting) here? I spoke at length about the effects of YOUR environment on you (scroll up, babe). Oh, and what level is sociology 101? My level of sociological understanding only extends to degree level! Bamababe said: I think your environment taught you to hate and fear the white man because they “taking” things from you including now you feel your women. Menelik said: Babe, you're so 1960s! This is England not 'Sweet Home Alabama'! There are no 'strange fruit' hanging from our trees, signs reading 'coloreds only' or Black civil rights activists attempting to desegregate lunch counters! Why are you projecting the racial history of YOUR environment onto the 'melting pot' that is London, England? Bamababe said: you feel any sista that doesn’t bow down to you is somehow messed up in her head, that she isn’t into you. Menelik replied: if my partner (yes, I have one of those!) bowed down to me I'd leave her! I like strong, feminine women ala Serena Williams. your 'analysis' of me appears a little off the mark, Bama, maybe you should attempt self-analysis instead! Bamababe said: why do interracial relationships in general bother you so much. Menelik replied: I represent a group to whom you should not be asking this question. Ask white men why THEY have no problem dating inter-racially UNTIL it comes to Black women! See ya! Menelik Charles London England

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  47.   Bamababe2k9 says:
    Posted: 28 Mar 10

    Menelik why you worried about who is in my bed, why don't you worry about who is NOT in yours.

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  48.   Malarki5 says:
    Posted: 28 Mar 10

    Bamababe said: I love white men always have and if it’s some kind “phase” I’m going through, then it has lasted damn near 40 years. Menelik replies: then stop referring to them as an “option” since you date them EXCLUSIVELY! Better to consider yourself an “option” for white men since you are last on their list! And at damned near 50-years old, your may not even appear on their list! Bamababe said: If you are such a Christian AS YOU CLAIM to be, you shouldn’t have a problem with people making their choices and decisions… Menelik replied: I don’t ever recall claiming to be a Christian. When did I refer to myself as such? Bamababe said: I’m tired of so-called good black men such as yourself bringing your tired ass to our chat rooms trying to start shit because you have a problem with black women wanting to explore our options. Menelik replied: stop playing the martyr and making stuff up. if anyone has an issue with inter-racial dating it’s YOU! let me explain. You grew up in a near all-white environment and identified with white females. They represent your ego-ideal just as white males represent Tiger Woods’ ego-ideal. Hence when YOU see Black men with white women - far from not giving a damned, it actually represents a painful double whammy. That is to say, you cannot project your disowned Black self onto a Black man dating a white woman, and you cannot identify with the white woman dating the Black man. The results are two-fold 1) you have to momentarily accept your disownd Black self, and 2) you have to momentarily disengaged from your white female ego-ideal since it is now associated with the very thing you rejected i.e. your Black identity. This has gotta hurt! Bamababe said: It’s ok for brothas to date white women but it’s not ok for black women to date white men. Menelik replies: as I suggested above: it is NOT ok as far as you’re concerned for Black men to date Black women since this combination causes you identity confusion. It is, on the other hand, ok for Black women to date white men since this, to you, represents an affirmation of your white female ego-ideal. just putting you straight, babes! Menelik Charles London England

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  49.   TYRANT says:
    Posted: 28 Mar 10

    ROFL @ Bamababe

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  50.   Bamababe2k9 says:
    Posted: 28 Mar 10

    LMAO @ Tyrant

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