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Why white men love the black woman

Posted by James, 31 Aug

Ever wondered why some white guys, love black women so much?

It seems that being a white male and proclaiming your attraction to black women (not only sexually, but also romantically) may lead to a lot of controversial and dangerous things. Let’s leave the debate of why more black women may be opening themselves up to white guys. The main focus of this debate is: why some white guys are opening themselves to black women. Let’s concentrate on that.

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Most white males don’t feel like they are running short of white women to marry. White males just marry at high rates. So question is: Why black women? The thing is it will not be fair to bundle up black women as one since everyone is their own person… be it in appearance or personality.

However, one thing that a white male friend of mine said… and I let him get away with bundling it all up is: “We love a black woman's confidence, her tenacity and her undeniable achievements in the face of great adversity...᾿ Since this info was coming from a man, there was definitely the mention of the lips, the curves, and that wonderful skin as well.

So what about stereotypes like “black women are either sexually conservative or total sluts?" Many people give so much lip service to interracial dating sites. You would think they have never done it. But those uptight individuals are the ones that spread these stereotypes. What happened to the highly educated black woman? How about the caring, decent and involved black woman?

Probably most white guys and others are confused with the stereotypical trash people spread around and if you are one that falls for such lame ol’ lines, then you sure as hell haven’t dated a black woman.

Bottom line, you don't have to sacrifice who you are for a white guy. They will love you anyway. Just be you and open yourself up… and if you like white guys, some white guy will find you too.

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  1.   Bamababe2k9 says:
    Posted: 13 Mar 10

    @Boots let me say this, I am a Christian so being a Christian it also says in the Bible love thy neighor. How is it right to hate a race of people for the stupidty and the ignorance of others? Does that mean we are suppose to hate our ancestors who sold us to the white man as well? Because if we do, aren't we hating oursevles? I think like a lot of people Boots including those slave owners you are talking about and the KKK, you are using the Word to jusitfy your hate of the white man. They said the same stuff to justify keeping our ancestors in chains because of a few passages in the Bible about slavery. I judge the indidivual, not the race of a person and I would hope and think that people would do me the same way. That's what Dr. King fought for is that we be seen as indidivuals and judged as a person not base on our race,creed, culture or religious background.

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  2.   boots says:
    Posted: 13 Mar 10

    And to all you white dudes that love blk women...and to all you blk women that love white men .....do your thing ..but stop telling lies to the world ,white men have lied ,stolen ,killed. Bama u claim to be a christian...read the book of James chapter 5 v1-6....whites who have stolen, killed and by forced labor have built wealth on the backs of blacks will suffer the wrath of God..this is the word of GOD...also luke cp 21 v 25 distress of nations (ethnic groups) like I said before there is rage out there.whites never want to deal with what they have done and continue to do with their unfair criminal justice system ,and when you start talking about money (reparations) which = power they get silent or they want to change the subject to sex ,attraction ,and how much they love blk women etc ..To the white man, pay what you owe!first,then you can talk about your so called love for black women.

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  3.   Salsassin says:
    Posted: 13 Mar 10

    A lot of ranting and raving, but no concrete rebuttal. As I expected. So let's see what you did make claim to: Did European slave masters institute systems of division? Sure. Did they include poor White folks as well? Sure. It was a system of divide and conquer, after all. You still are conquered. No evidence that Whites would grant manumission only to traitors. Some households manumitted their entire slave population. Many children were manumitted. I'd love to hear you explain how they were traitors. Sure we honor many people who did horrible things in today's standards. But when a whole civilization has been brought up with certain cultural mores, you can only judge them by the standards of the day. I judge them no different than the Africans who were selling slaves to the Europeans. Look up Anna Kingsley. These people had no problem with having slaves of any color. Of course, I do not glorify them as people, but I still give credit to their positive accomplishments. They were steps in the evolution of what we have now. A place that allows an embittered old man free access to the internet. I am well aware of slavery through imprisonment. Like I said, the Jim Crow era was not a nice period. But it doesn't happen today. Nice strawman on Columbus. I never taught anything on Columbus. That is you blaming all Whites for the cookie cutter education that is K-12. And like Frank Sweet said, anyone with a college education knows Columbus was a horrible person, even in the standards of his day. The whole story has been told. It just takes a bit of education. Let me refresh you with Myth # 10 again. It applies directly to you, a non-scholar who learns things in his adulthood. Myth 10. If it were true, I would already know about it. — The most destructive U.S. color line myth is that if a little-known fact were true, then everybody would already know it. As one person said: “Your claim that some Blacks were free before the Civil War is ridiculous. If it were true, it would be trumpeted to the skies. In my whole life, my entire life, I have never heard of such a thing.” — Written by a 15-year-old participant of an online discussion group. At one level, ignorance of the nation’s history is understandable. K-12 schools cannot teach all of America’s past. Children and teachers cover an overwhelming amount of material. So whenever school boards discuss curricula, they must decide what to leave out. And they often decide that history-teaching should aim for citizenship skills, specifically, to teach those myths that students must learn if they are to function in U.S. society. Once they can function as citizens, if any of them want to learn the detailed facts, they can do it in college. At least, that is the rationale. At another level, ignorance breeds more ignorance. Most people do not take college history and so they go through life thinking that what they learned in K-12 is all there is. In The End of Blackness (New York: Pantheon, 2004), Debra Dickerson tells a story of when Senator John McCain was informed that his great-grandparents were slave owners. He was dumfounded. According to Dickerson, although McCain often talked about how his ancestors had fought for the Confederacy and that they owned plantations, it had never occurred to him that they owned slaves. When non-scholars suddenly learn historical facts in adulthood, many assume that their ignorance results from a vast conspiracy, rather than from their own lack of diligence. Dickerson, who repeats many of the above myths, explains her own prior ignorance by saying that, “whites cannot allow themselves to know their unbowdlerized, unexpurgated history.” But the facts are available in any college text or monograph to anyone who takes the time to read. She should have said, “not teaching kids historical facts during K-12 is harmful to society.” But being ignorant of college textbooks and then accusing them (which the person has not read) of falsification is the worst myth of all.

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  4.   boots says:
    Posted: 13 Mar 10

    @ To ...good old SAL...been off this site for a while have to tend to my third career.. I am back in college again.......my real question to you is why did u feel the need to post all that info on MYTHS, and why do u feel that I need to write a rebuttal, how can anyone rebut a MYTH...However I will respond...Whether all slave owners were white,did slaves fight for the south,did all southerners own slaves,and the genetic mixture that makes one black or not....etc...etc...Sure there are MYTHS, misunderstanding and a lot of confusion...why.. b/c whites divised an insidious system of separation , stratification and social engineering where blks were classified as Quadroons,Mestizos,Mulattos,Sambos depending on the hue of their skin.Meanwhile white slave owners would grant freedom(MANUMISSION)to traitors .Whites had to perform intellectual gymnastics to even justify this evil, in order to passify their own conscience....Why dont we deal with some of these MYTHS...(1) Your white forefather should be held in honor and high esteem,when in truth they were hypocrites and slave owners, preaching The God given right of life liberty and the pursuit of happiness while holding human beings in bondage.Why should we as blks be subjected to this farce ,in every major city in the USA,there is a Washington Jefferson, Jackson,street,statue, school or something pushed in our face, why should we give honor to any of these creeps.... MYTH(2) blks are lazy and have not made any contribution to this country's greatness... In fact the entire economy was based mainly on slave labor.'prior to the civil war the south held the greatest concentration of per capita wealth in the nation.....the $7 billion capital investments in black slaves in 1860 exceeded all other buisness investments in the North or South and the federal budget combined':BLACK LABOR WHITE WEALTH,Claud Anderson,Ed.D(p134)... MYTH(3)..Slavery ended when the Civil War ended... In fact the post-Reconstruction Southern practices of Peonage,forced convict labor,and sharecropping, essentially continued the institution of slavery well into the 20th century...for example a blk man would be arrested for "vagrancy" i.e unemployment, ordered to pay a fine he could not afford and incarcerated...A plantation owner would pay his fine and "hire" him until he could afford to pay off the fine himself .The Peon was then forced to work ,locked up at night and if he ran away ,chased by bloodhounds and recaptured..Peons were often mistreated and even murdered. Spending months even yrs of hard labor for only a few dollars owed in fines...:I Was Born a Slave (Yuval Taylor)..also read www.slaverybyanothername.com.....MYTH(4) Blacks have/had some mystical yearning to return to Africa...In fact there has never been a widespread movement among blks to return to Africa..'The Negro is an American. We know nothing of Africa'...(Martin Luther King) .'The back to Africa movement was in its inception mainly a white man's fantasy for Negroes,founded in the chamber of the House of Representatives in Washington DC in Dec 1816 by The American Society for Colonizing the Free People of Color in the United States'(The Rediscovery of Black Nationalism)p7.....As you stated above when 'non-scholars suddenly learn historical facts many assume a vast conspiracy.......'..The real conspiracy is the history the white world has left out or has not focused on....Like I said in a previous post you taught me what a hero Christopher Columbus was ,you even told us to sing his song "in 1492 Columbus sailed the ocean blue......" Columbus was a bloodthirsty gold seeking murderer. Let's tell the whole story.. SAL!...White people want to tell their own special history...I got a lot more MYTHS for you SAL!

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  5.   cello4me says:
    Posted: 12 Mar 10

    I love white guys i think they are romantic and interesting

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  6.   Bamababe2k9 says:
    Posted: 11 Mar 10

    Actually I heard this morning that Gabby is in two films coming up as well. She can find work, but like someone said this morning maybe it forces some Hollywood types to create roles for her because of her talent. I found this article on black men and herpes: A lot of men are going to hate me for admitting this, but women can't rely on us to be up-front when it comes to disclosing our sexually transmitted infections. I'm living proof. Ten years ago, after having unprotected sex, I realized the stinging sensation in my pants wasn't like the yeast infections or trichomoniasis I'd had before. I was diagnosed with herpes. And I only told two women about it out of the 20 I went on to sleep with. When I got my results, I became depressed. I was used to pursuing attractive, ambitious women, and I thought women like that wouldn't want a man with herpes. I was so angry at whoever had infected me--and I wasn't even sure who she was. I never thought of myself as a victim though. By the irresponsible way I was living, I practically volunteered for this. From the time I was diagnosed in 1998, I only used condoms half of the time. With every new woman, we would start out with protection. But after a few months of safe sex, we'd just take our chances. Sometimes a woman would ask me not to wear a condom, and I obliged her request. No one ever asked me to get tested for herpes, so they never knew what a huge risk they were taking by having unprotected sex with me. I never admitted that I had it to women I was in relationships with. I thought about confessing, but I never had the courage. I feared being rejected by someone I cared about. I did outlandish things to hide the truth about my disease, like keeping Valtrex, my herpes medication, in a different prescription bottle so no one would discover it. Sometimes my girlfriend would want sex when I was having an outbreak. I couldn't arouse any suspicion by saying no, so I would have sex with my boxers on to conceal where the blisters were located. If she asked why, I'd say, "Oh, it's just a fantasy I have." Afterward I would feel like a scumbag for putting my fear before her health. Of those 20 women, only one told me I gave her herpes: the mother of my children. Our relationship was over by the time I was infected, but occasionally we hooked up. At that time, she was the only woman I confessed to that I carried the virus, and I made sure she knew it was possible to catch it even when I didn't have an outbreak. She doesn't like to use condoms and took a risk. When she informed me in 2007 that she had tested positive for herpes, my life changed. It took knowing I had infected someone I really cared about to realize I was living a messed-up life. Shortly thereafter I joined a herpes support network, where I shared my experience with hundreds of people who had recently been diagnosed. But I'm still not comfortable telling most women that I'm infected. (When I told the other woman who knows my status, she was surprisingly okay with it, which made me wonder: What do you have?) I advise guys to not make the mistakes I've made. Be honest with women about STIs, even though it's not easy. The advice I give to women is different. I want them to know that some men just won't tell you they have a disease. And some men don't even know they have an STI because they don't have symptoms or haven't been tested. Since herpes can be spread through skin-to-skin contact even when a condom is used, every woman should ask her man to get a herpes test before they become intimate. If you can't be there when your man is tested, insist that he show you his recent results from a medical facility on letterhead. The conversation might be awkward, but it's necessary to protect yourself from a guy like me. Read more: http://www.essence.com/relationships/sexual_health/gambling_herpes.php#ixzz1XpJSupue

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  7.   Member says:
    Posted: 11 Mar 10

    HMM You got a point Bama. I don't think the HIV rates in black men are the same like black women. Although, black men do have higher rates in proportion to their population than "other races of men". Black women are more "vulnerable" to getting the disease. Latin men are slowly creeping up in that rate and Hispanic women are not that far behind black women when it comes to HIV and Herpes. I agree 1 out of 6 Americans do have some type of Herpes. However 1 out of 2 black women with herpes is simple "shockingly" high. Also, a majority of these girls are young. The rate is high in young girls. Obviously, they don't get rid of the disease so they carry it into "adult hood". It says nothing about black men. It says it is not "just black men" giving black women diseases. UNLESS, black women are solely sleeping with black men. I just don't think that is the case. Howard Stern caters to degenerates and an audience that like those type of jokes. He still has a point though. Robin agreed with him concerning Oprah giving this girl 'false hope". Precious, "down the road", will she ever do a movie again? I highly doubt it. Black actresses with the "looks" are not even getting roles that much. It is not just Precious. It is extremely tough for African Americans to get into movies in general. I heard she got a Showtime "gig". Perhaps, people put pressure on Hollywood to 'cast her". It is not a substantial role. Showtime needs more subscribers. It might be a marriage of convenience. Gabby played a role that was "tailored" for her. Monique won because she "can do it all". She actually proved to be a "serious actor". I just don't think she will be in the Whoopi Goldberg Lane or Monique Lane. They are actually talented in most things. Whoopi was a stand up comedian and so was "Monique". Maybe Television will work for Precious. She might do well in television.

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  8.   Bamababe2k9 says:
    Posted: 11 Mar 10

    Gabby already has another job, she'll be starring in a Showtime series and that was in the paper Monday, so obviously she will be working again. Howard Stern maybe rich but it's interesting that he really has never made it to the big time. Hell even Wendy Williams has her own talk show in syndication Stern is still on Sirius Radio with a smaller audience. And I heard 1 out 6 Americans have some form of herpes. Black women have the larger number of new AIDS cases. So if the majority of black women stay with black men and we are the largest number of new AIDS cases, what does that say about black men?

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  9.   Member says:
    Posted: 11 Mar 10

    Dear Other Brother Try 90 percent, my ego likes to think I am right about most things. My track record speaks for itself concerning topics. I didn't understand your paragraph. You "holler" at any woman you want. You go onto say you are married. You got some balls to attack me and ICH. I don't recall doing that to my woman. At least, I don't brag about it. You said this "So my wife has no insecurities about who I holler at. I can holler pretty good too if I want, so here goes a holler, to all you lovely black women wheather you love a brother, a white man, a hispanic man, an italian man, ect… you go! do not let bitter brothers hold you back do not let their own securities phase you, your not a sell out, you love who you love for your own reason whatever that may be and although you may be judged by a few bitter brothers most respect you regarless." You don't speak for a majority of black men. Nobody is "holding" sellout black women back. You show me where "bitter' brothers are holding them back. How about address "your fellow white brothers" on why they are reluctant to date black women? All you talked about is how you flirt other women while you have a black wife. Oh yea, and how "wrong" I am on everything. I will pretend that you just don't know any better. Stay under your "black wife" skirt. She better not catching talking that shit on here about "hollering" at other women. She will emasculate you "worse" than you are now. You have a good day. For everyone else, I am working on that "IF TOMORROW COMES FOR SELLOUT BW" THE PRECIOUS STORY CONTINUED. I talking about everything. Howard Stern mad at Oprah for giving "Precious" false hope of being a "movie star in the future". 48 percent of black women with herpes. I am out.

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  10.   Member says:
    Posted: 11 Mar 10

    Wow I have been gone a while, but my two Bitter Racist Brothers Queens and ICH are still blowing up the pages with their lies and distortions. I had to take a break because I was changing jobs and going to school and getting things in order for my move to ST. Louis. Well actually Ill about 30 minutes outside of ST. Louis. It took awhile to read all the available posts. But it seems to be the same old stuff. Queens being plummeted by the true facts and black women being called sell outs because they love someone other than black men. This is so crazy however you can not help the helpless understand that their facts are actually false and that although they think they are special they put their pants on the same way the rest of do, one leg at a time. Except for queens he hops into his both legs at once so he is special. He is actually correct though about 10% of time. The problem is he thinks he right the other 90% of the time. I can deal with him though, because we know (That is he and I) he doesn't really believe all that crap he puts out. He is too smart for that, he just says things because he wants to spark discussion. Now Ich that is another storey. The scary thing is he really really believes the crap he puts out. That is what is really scarry here. Yes Ich I am still Married to the same black woman and I can holler at any woman I want because dinner is only served at home and I eat dinner every night. So my wife has no insecurities about who I holler at. I can holler pretty good too if I want, so here goes a holler, to all you lovely black women wheather you love a brother, a white man, a hispanic man, an italian man, ect... you go! do not let bitter brothers hold you back do not let their own securities phase you, your not a sell out, you love who you love for your own reason whatever that may be and although you may be judged by a few bitter brothers most respect you regarless. Most real black men are not threatened by your loving a white man. As i have always stated only white men can truely answer the question this blog poses. Every other man is just blowing smoke because they really do not know.

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  11.   Ichibod says:
    Posted: 09 Mar 10

    I'm just glad my dude Christoph Waltz won best supporting actor for Inglorious Basterds. That was a performance with Academy Award written all over it. His character was such a douche, but it was so believable. Also, flip-flopping 4 different languages fluently, 3 of which were done in the very first scene, was pretty awesome.

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  12.   bigeyes31 says:
    Posted: 08 Mar 10

    @Bama Yes Yes I plan to see The Blind Side,lol. I will just say this about the movie Precious. I think people who saw the movie were expecting a Pretty Woman ending,lol. I think her ending was showing her first step towards changing her life and it wasn't dramatic she just did it, just like if you or I were making some changes. We just do it. Oh yes, Ms Meryl Streep, Diva,LOL. Oh if you can take a look at Vera Farminga's dress;that's reddish burgandy dress I was talking about and thank you for telling me about Mo'Nique's choice and why. I think that's cool too. Zoe Saldana is the one from Star Trek remake, which I loved by the way,lol. Yes, her dress was gorgeous love tye-dye effect at the bottom and the jeweled bodice. Elizabeth Banks is the one who had the grey dress with swirl effect on the bodice I was trying to describe,it was beautiful. I will try and see all these Oscar movies and I'm starting with The Blind Side but promise that you wil just TRY and get through Precious,lol. Oh I loved how the real life "Blind Side" mother was given recognition from Ms. Sandra Bullock. I thought that was quite graceful. Peace

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  13.   Scoff/Sarah says:
    Posted: 08 Mar 10

    Good afternoon to all Oh what a blog, Scoff & I read and disscuss, several of the arguments or should we say views or opinions that different people post. Now to the point, what makes an inter-racial relationship work, or not work. First the physical attraction, then from ther it's any ones guess. In our day way way back in the mid 60's when when we were young, to be honest it was more of a curious thing. When I say curious, as I had mentioned earlier in our social system then I had never, and mean never said as much as two words to a white boy my age. True looking back, I say to myself how in the world did that happen, well it was just the way it was. As Scoff & I ventured into some what of a very secert relationship, it was a learning expierence. Yes, we did become close, and proclaimed our love as many youths do. Fast forward to now were we in love or lust, maybe even the thought of doing something taboo, added to the whole affair, hard to say now. Our relatinship now is real, we talk, enjoy just being around each other, love to do things togeather, spend hours talking about were we grew up and the people we knew. Common ground, a mutual bond, missing that person. Thinking about that person, when you have an free minute, oh I or we could go on and on. The major point is you have to start with a common anchor point, ours is we both came from the same area, had the basic same values, of course we had a history of a sort, at that point in time when we met again, both of us were lonely, and in need of a loving person. So now you see common anchor, and need, then of course timing. Stange now we don't really think of each other as Black or White, just at our age well I hate to say boyfriend/girlfriend as it doesn't really fit a 60 plus year old couple. (well what ever) Special friends,???? When a reltionship between a couple gets to the point that the White/Black issue is not even thought of, then you know that your with the right person. Just one of my crazy thoughts, A special hug to Ms. Godiva God Bless All \ Sarah

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  14.   Bamababe2k9 says:
    Posted: 08 Mar 10

    @BE I heard she was good in it and she said she wore her dress and hair that way in tribute to Hattie McDaniel of course the first African-American to win an Oscar which I thought was cool. She said though last night at her post Oscar speech that when the director said cut, she was able to leave that character on the sound stage. Sounds like it was powerful, I just can't bring myself to see it because of the content is just too sad and depressing and from what I heard, not much of a happy ending but I guess that's life. Most of the dresses were beautiful Demi was pretty, The black chick from Star Trek and Guess Who who were the lavender dress was so pretty but so was Meryl Streep. I thought that off-white she wore last night made her look elegant. I didn't see Halle. Most of the time (if not ALL the time) she always wears a knock-out dress. Sandra Bullock and Ms. Diaz were knock-outs too. If anyone hasn't seen the Blind Side, I suggest you rent it. Very good movie.

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  15.   bigeyes31 says:
    Posted: 08 Mar 10

    @Ms.godiva Thank you so much for believing that I can do and be better and understanding that I am a work in progress that becoming Christ-like is a process. @Bama and Ms. Godiva I didn't tune in until about the time the Mo'Nique's category was being announced. I liked the color of her dress and she looked nice but it was the same EXACT look she had for the Golden Globe win. I just thought she should have done something different but the color was fabulous. HA HA I saw that look that Samuel L. did too!! I wondered that maybe he didn't like her or something? I don't know. George Clooney was doing alot of mean mugging the camera too. Anyway I noticed that no one thanked God either,not even Mo'nique,sad,sad. I was happy Sandra Bullock won;I was correct in my prediction. I should have bet money,LOL. No just kidding. I thought her dress was beautiful. Demi Moore had on a stunning dress and there was a reddish burgandy dress that one of Clooney co-stars had on when she was giving nice words about working with him. It was outrageously beautiful and one lady had on a grey dress that had ruffles on the bottom and had a swirl-like design on the bodice. I don't know who she was but I loved her dress. I wanted Jeff Bridges to win. I haven't seen any of the movies except Precious so I can't scoff at The Hurt Locker winning best picture so I have a lot movie watching to catch up on,LOL. The only thing I can say about Mo Nique's win was that I think she deserved the Oscar simply and I emphasize simply because of her ABILITY to transform from this hysterically funny lady to this believable monster who at the end, still finds away to make you feel for HER as WELL as Precious!I think as far as being able to do that to her audience is why I think she won.Now, Monsters' Ball offered no redeeming qualities for Halle's character so I agree with you on that,lol. Garbage and babbage,lol. Well, Ms. G. I need to be out there doing the same with my car, maybe tomorrow,LOL. Have a nice one! Ms Bamababe you have a nice Monday and rest of the week!

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  16.   Bamababe2k9 says:
    Posted: 08 Mar 10

    @Godiva I didn't see Monster's Ball nor Precious for those reasons; I hate seeing the same stories over and over again. And SO many people hated these movies. Have a good one chick!

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  17.   godiva61 says:
    Posted: 08 Mar 10

    @Bamababe2k9, To be totally honest, I did not see Precious, or any of these movies.. I love going to the movies, but NOT on the weekends. So everytime I had a day off during the week, and made plans to go to the movies, something came up.. Today I'm off, but it's way too nice to be indoors, and I have been out since 0500 this morning. For me I hated Monsters Ball, to me that was a very degrading role!! I can't say too much about Precious, because I haven't seen it, but I have seen my share of Precious, in real life and yes it's ugly but it is a reality in our country, and not just in our culture, you would be amazed at what some people inflict on their children! I'm thinking of a little boy named Zachary as I write this.. I guess it's true that sometimes art imitates life, and life imitates, art. I agree they should have thanked the ONE, who gives you breath, a beating heart ,wealth and so on and so on!!!! Maybe they forgot, maybe they didn't think that HE is worthy of being thanked, who knows?? I'm going to get my car washed, and shined! Have a nice Monday! love godiva

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  18.   Bamababe2k9 says:
    Posted: 08 Mar 10

    @Godiva I think someone said this to you already but blessted are the peacemakers... I think Oprah or someone said no one has the power to make you feel bad unless you give it to them. The Oscars bored me to death. Glad Sandra Bullock won and loved her speech. I know I should be happy Monique won for Precious but most of the people who saw that movie that were black, hated it. I think they put it on the same level as Monsters Ball. As being black folks have to degrade themselves in order to win an Oscar. What's a shame too was I think none of them thank God either.

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  19.   godiva61 says:
    Posted: 08 Mar 10

    @bigeyes31, You do not have to apologize for the 'slowness', okay? I was very, very, slow to a few things in my life, one which was, I had TOO, much pride! The important thing is, that we continue to work at whatever we need to work on, so we can move on to the next level.. The worse thing, in my opinion, would to be so stubborn, arrogant, and fearful, not to own up to the truth about ourselves. Conviction, correction, leads us closer to HIM! I believe in you kid, nothing last's forever, the good, or the bad!! Did you watch the Oscars? I tried very hard, but it was boring me to death! I did see Monique when she won, loved her dress, hair, and her speech. I would like to know what was going on in Samuel L. Jackson's mind, when he made that facial expression, after she spoke?? Did you ever see the Hurt Locker?? Have a good Monday love godiva

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  20.   godiva61 says:
    Posted: 08 Mar 10

    @tatted2death, It has happened to me once before, so I'm not as naive or immune to it as you might think.. I just made it up in my mind to let those who needed to have the last word, have the last word. No person words, are that powerful to make say or do something that I know is not right. Again, I was moved to TRY, so I did, and as far as I'm concerned, it is finished!!!! Have a nice Monday! love godiva

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  21.   bigeyes31 says:
    Posted: 08 Mar 10

    godiva The one thing I do agree with is that there will still be back and forth on this blog. It will be the same game just different players Ms.godiva. If I stop making comments which I am slowly making progress toward because I do agree with you.The the Spirit that is in you as well as in me has pointed out what is right through your words. I am slow sometimes to obey.You see though that another debate will just take the place of this one. I have made and proven my points in the past and feel satisfied and glad about it so I will not continue with this. Thank you for your correction Ms. godiva but I ask that you be patient with me as I attempt to do the right thing. Thank you woman of God. Peace from a sometimes rebelious child of God

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  22.   tatted2death says:
    Posted: 08 Mar 10

    See, Godiva....the "comments" won't cease...I couild leave this blog alone for a month and they STILL wouldn't cease. And I like I said before....if this sort of nonsense were happening to YOU.....YOU just might see it differently. Nevertheless I respect you greatly and infinitely appreciate your spirit....definitely understand your need to "try" here (but if you really have been reading all along you KNOW that I did as well not too long ago....oh well). Peace and Blessings tatted2death

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  23.   Ariel says:
    Posted: 08 Mar 10

    this is so great (: im a youngin & in my school there is one black girl dating a white guy. ONE but there are more then 15 black guys dating white girls. i like every race as long as they treat me well but what i have to say is that white guys do treat black women very beautifully!

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  24.   bigeyes31 says:
    Posted: 08 Mar 10

    I still stand by what I ACTUALLY said which is that no one has the power to make anyone "blow up" and so far have succeeded. LOL. I win.

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  25.   Bamababe2k9 says:
    Posted: 07 Mar 10

    I haven't read many sistas on here who said I date a white men because of....fill in the blank. I haven't seen them disrespect any brotha on here. Maybe I'm missing something. I can care less if a black man decides to date a white woman or any other woman of color because quite frankly I'm attracted to white men and secondly because it's none of my business. What I don't like is ANYONE putting down the other to justify them dating outside of their race or putting down the other because they don't like the other's choices. As for me, I like white men I think mainly because my environment I grew up around. I grew up in mostly white and mix neighborhoods and I'm thankful for my diverse background. But as I got older, there were qualities that make me love white men even more. It's nothing a brotha said or did to me, it's my personal preference. Most people can accept that, some don't. That's probably why I can understand Tiger Woods. He is probably into white women because that's what he grew up around and that's who found him attractive. That's his preference. As a black woman, yes I encourage my friends who have dated black men to give themselves other options. Most of them have dated white men and have no problem doing so, but I don't discourage them from finding a black man either. I think for me, it's respecting each other's choices rather then putting them down or judging them. Who has a right to judge another person especially if you don't know them.

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  26.   Ichibod says:
    Posted: 07 Mar 10

    @Godiva Sure thing! ;)

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  27.   Ichibod says:
    Posted: 07 Mar 10

    So what if she does NOT specifically name names.

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  28.   godiva61 says:
    Posted: 07 Mar 10

    @Ichibod, Thanks for explaining and opening my eyes a little wider, I know I can depend on you to set me straight when I need it, with the dignity, grace and honesty that you possess so well. Please, always care about me enough to be honest with me! With much love, respect, and admiration, Godiva

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  29.   Ichibod says:
    Posted: 07 Mar 10

    @ Queens "False Bravado"! That's an excellent way to put it. However, that sign off to Godvia was pretty low. Saying you lost respect for someone is a meaningful cliche, but to literally disrecting her like that? Come on, dude. Lighten up. She says what needs to be said. So what if she does specifically name names. I had started typing my post to Godiva right after her last one to you, then 6 post went by while I was proofreading it. That's true what you said reagarding salvation and conviction. There's a lot more to it (by the way, Jesus didn't judge), but you are fairly accurate, Sir. Actually, that what's the Holy Spirit is for. Maybe Bama's Catholic? I believe I made my point earlier as to why I remain silent on certain issues. Later, Bro!

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  30.   Ichibod says:
    Posted: 07 Mar 10

    @ My 'Gem', I was being sarcastic when I said "somehow nominated the official spokesperson". The point I have tried to make, and what many comments here, other blogs, YouTube videos, magazines, news reports, and general 'word of mouth', is that black men and women are guilty of using each other as reasons for dating another race. However, it is vocalized a lot less (in my opinion) by black men than it is by black women and white men are the most common scape goat. When I first came to this site around this time last year, I began reading every topic and every comment posted from Jan '07 to the present. I had just gotten laid off and had nothing but time on my hands. I only recall 2 black men making such statments. I spoke out against Escalademan, and the other I had found about five months after his initial post. Too late. But I feel that everything I have posted, including my plea for any woman to point out where a black man has tried justify his prefrences by denouncing black women on this blog and I would be happy to take them to task, shows where I stand on that issue. I usually copy and paste my own comments but I can't remember what all topics I said that in, most likely over 200 comments ago on any thread. When Queens said... "I have never met a man “with two women” that people “accepted”. That is all false bravado. ESPECIALLY if the women “ARE GOOD WOMEN”. No man “pats his friend” on the shoulder for “using two good women", I don't know about "NO" man, but I couldn't agree more with the rest of that statement. Hugh Heffner is a businessman, not the epitome of man. It's how I feel when anyone resorts to that line of questioning. Such as rappers saying, "They say we can't talk about guns, drugs, and murder in our music, but no one says anything about Terminator, Rambo, and Die hard. Even the Bible has violence." Stupid stuff like that. My old roommate pretty much kicked me out because he got tired of me being the voice of reason regarding his loyalty to his girl, lack of self-esteem, as well as his belief that becoming rich and famous was the end to all suffering. Fine, I needed to leave anyway. He is a tortured soul and was really having an adverse effect on my spiritual growth, hence my 'eruptions' within the last few months. I'm getting back on track now. Questions like this coming from those who know who the "Prince of this world" and "author of confusion" is, astound me. If it's any consulation to anyone, the men with the "sluts" and the women with the "players" are all lame. I don't use the term "sellout black women", but I have that same understanding of the term as well, and used to be the explaination I had given in defense of Queens long ago. Yes, there are "sellout black men" everywhere, including on this site, but not on these blogs. Even then, the men were members of the site, not currently in relationships, and mentioned attractions and previous relationships with other races of women. Any other black man who has said derrogatory things about black women are not memebers and are against interracial dating as a whole. Many black women flock to topics mentioning white men, even toward white men, proclaiming their elation of being with a white man rather than merely being at peace with a man that is white, and choosing to share their interracial dating/marriage experiences with others. I only recall one black woman mention how a past Korean lover rocked her world. Also, I've never been for urging someone to explore options and I haven't heard any other black men here doing so either. Either the attractions and the willingness to accept them are there, or they just aren't. I think some believe that when a black person comes under attack, another black person should just come to their defense... without question. A black drug dealer is arrested, the sentiments seem to be, "It don't matter what he did, police always trying to lock a brotha up and hold black people down." This is not sound reasoning. Just as you and MzBrownSugar can attest, I will speak out when I feel a response from me is warranted. Not "from me" meaning that I'm special or something, but granted all variables are present that would move me to respond. 1) Time of day. I can see a comment at work on my phone. I don't type and drive. Well, I seldomly text and drive, but a whole blog post is an accident waiting to happen. 2) Priorities. I, like most others, should try to have a life away the internet. 3) Mood. Sometimes, I just don't feel like. 4) Silent consent. I've have said this before. Yes, I admit it. I can explain my non-involvement at any time, but should I really have to? Other times, a rebuttal or insult is too hilarious. Some people ask for it, so they're really seeking a 'bail out' in the name of defense. 5) I hate redundancy. Someone responds to a comment the same way I would have. I can't help it if that person happens to be a black woman, or even a hispanic male. Why post after that unless I have something absolutely essential to add to their point. 6) I've already gone through the whole historical, socio-geopolitical, psychological, as well as the spiritual rebuttals in the past. The research required to fully put someone in check, especially when citing sources, is mentally exhausting, time consuming, and usually conflicts with points 1), 2), and 3). 7) It's obvious that some have been given over to a depraved or reprobate mind. Those on the defensive and the offensive. Oh, yes. I remember the day I said those things about you, Sis. So, my question to anyone who expects me to know how it feels to be on the receiving end derrogatory remarks is, "Do you know how it should feel to be on the delivering end?" If you recall what I told you back then, I did not feel good... nor safe. I thank thank God for maturity, wisdom, and conviction; not to mention His grace and mercy. You know where we stand with each other. Talk to you soon! ~Ichibod~

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  31.   Bamababe2k9 says:
    Posted: 07 Mar 10

    @queens if you are truely saved like you say you are, then you'd know the answer to those questions. The point is really what you say about me or think doesn't matter in the long run. All I really care about is what He thinks of me, not you. He knows me not you. And if you calling me "slut bucket", or slut makes you feel like a man, then sweetheart go right ahead because really and truely, it doesn't matter.

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  32.   Member says:
    Posted: 07 Mar 10

    You said this "Was I stuttering when I said it? JEALOUS you sound like somone who is jealous because you can’t seem to get passed the fact that I have two men interested in me and you how many women you are dating? Um that would be ZERO." LOL That is what it is now. You mean the 2 men that don't know about each other? I assure you I talk to "1" woman. Sorry, I am not doing what you are doing. I keep it a 100 percent with her. Actually, I am "saved" but not perfect of course. Jesus paid the price for you but he never said "he wasn't going to punish you". In theory, if we were forgiven for "everything we did wrong". Their wouldn't be a need for judgement day. I accept Jesus but I have to accept the punishment that is reserved for me in the "future". I have to accept the deception I have done in the past when it came to my dating indiscretions in my early 20s. You said this........... "You probably upset because I am a Christian and I am saved and the only person I answer to is Him. Mr. Queens are you saved? Because I can go to Christ and he won’t convict me of my sins nor judge me because He’s paid the price for me. Again, Mr. Queens while you are busy judging me and lying on me, have YOU accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior?" How do you know Christ will not convict you of your sins or judge you. Why would we have judgement day if we are not subjected to judgement? I am not a biblical "scholar" here. It is quite arrogant to think simply because you go to church it will resolve you of your sins. Hardcore Christians will tell you "you have to be committed ALL THE TIME". I am not doing that and you are not doing that. Therefore you can't tell me if i accept Jesus or not. The question is will you stop doing what "Jesus" preached against. That is much harder to do. Good day

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  33.   Bamababe2k9 says:
    Posted: 07 Mar 10

    Was I stuttering when I said it? JEALOUS you sound like somone who is jealous because you can't seem to get passed the fact that I have two men interested in me and you how many women you are dating? Um that would be ZERO. You probably upset that to my knowledge none of the women on here would give you a second look if they passed you on the street. You probably upset because it sounds like in a past relationship that a black female probably left you for a white man. And no I wouldn't date an atheist or agonist because it goes against my beliefs and the relationship probably wouldn't work out. You probably upset because I am a Christian and I am saved and the only person I answer to is Him. Mr. Queens are you saved? Because I can go to Christ and he won't convict me of my sins nor judge me because He's paid the price for me. Again, Mr. Queens while you are busy judging me and lying on me, have YOU accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior?

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  34.   Member says:
    Posted: 07 Mar 10

    Let me respond to Bama Jealous of what you sleeping with 2 white men?????????????????????? Are you high or drunk? Sorry, I am not one of your jealous "LOVERS".(plural)

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  35.   Member says:
    Posted: 07 Mar 10

    Dear Godiva It's cool, I never called her that B word. The slut bucket comment, I have mixed feelings about saying it. It was the appropriate word at the time. I have been called worse names. I currently still get called names. I am not concerning about the name calling so much. What bothers me is the bragging "of using people". People accuse me of a double standard when it comes to interracial dating among black men and white women. I don't approve of it. However, if a black man said "he was dating 2 white women". Nobody would say he was "exploring a relationship" or he has two "suitors". They would take him to "task". They would say "see them dirty black men with multiple women". People can say they don't "judge" people. We all judge people to some degree. Sal just replied and felt his "shoe shine" comment was justified. This is how he "truly feels". I respect that because I won't apologize for some things I have said. I rarely apologize for anything. The video is a joke. The disturbed white man said to the black man "shine my shoes". He got some lucky punches in. From my understanding, the white guy is a good story teller. I saw his other video, a black guy said he was a "good guy". My opinion changed on the old white man. The black man lost that fight LOL. By the way, he wasn't a thug. White men are so emasculated that if they 'win a fight" against a white man it is like "the heavens opened up for them". Anyway, some black women got mad at my repeated use of "nappy head". A down south girl use to say "nappy head" to me (as a joke). I thought it was funny. Imus says it "all hell broke loose". I am not going to stop saying "nappy head" simply because Imus did it. Nappy head is funny to me. I don't think about the racial implications of the word. If a white man called his "black wife" nappy head. I actually think I would fall on the floor laughing. I look at the "intent" behind the word. Imus got criticized because he "deep down" does not think black women are attractive. He just got caught agreeing with his co-host who actually "said the word". Godiva made the point she didn't like my statements towards sellout black women. Queen Latifah just got here but "she supposedly" sees everything I write here. I wrote about John Mayer saying "his dick is racist towards black women". You know how many sellout black women defending this guy on my blog?? They either dismissed it or just "plain" tried to play it off like it was "no big deal". John Mayer goes on to blame the "media" for his comments about black women. That he just wants to play his "guitar". My comments are always justified in the context of sellout black women bashing black men. The same black women here that "claim" they don't do that. They are silent co conspirators when "other sellout black women" bash black men. Just because the "right wing" sellout black women movement dismissed you because "you don't drink the whole glass of Koolaid". This does not mean you don't agree with them. You are not immune to the retaliation by black men like me. Yea, Ich and you "got into it" way back. I don't dislike you Godiva. I just question you defending this "woman". You claim you are friends with Ich. But the Bama girl said He is to "blame" for my comments. You are still "dancing around" I do recall people here getting into a vigorous argument over religion. Ich, you and some other people. I was taken to ask about "siding" with an agnostic person that commented on the board. I do recall losing that argument because I came to his "defense". I never whine or complained. Obviously, we have a "strong" Christian base in this room. Some of you are unable to "separate friendships or associations" from the laws of religion. You simply cannot expect people to "respect you" if you date two Christian white men and talk about deal breakers. On top of that, the men don't know about each other. That is dishonest at best and it makes people question your integrity as a woman. You want to get mad about it fine! When you "purposely" practice deception that is open for "judgement". When you sin because of "weakness" that is a different story. Such as "having sex" out of wedlock. I really do think people give in to "temptation". But if you are dating 2 white men and openly bragging about deceiving them. This is something you "can control". You are "aware" of what you are doing. You are not sexually "hard up". You have a "plot" to get "over" on these men. That is not Christian like and not even "respected" in the "world". Non Christians will tell you "this is really some shady shit". Good day.

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  36.   Bamababe2k9 says:
    Posted: 07 Mar 10

    @Queenie U are just defenseless against the truth. You basically lied on me to make yourself look good and have not a single fact to back up your rantings but you know crazy people normally tell on themselves. The fact of the matter is, it's backfired on you because I won't lay down to your brow beating and tell you what's REALLY going on. You are like the old woman across the street who is always spying on her neighbors looking for something to gossip about. Like I said the other day, you say I'm sleeping with them, dating Sal, brought ligerie and next week I'll be pregnant. All this because I won't tell you MY business. You know what they say about assumptions right? You continue to make an ass out of yourself because quite frankly, it's assuming. Actually, you sound like a jealous lover.

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  37.   godiva61 says:
    Posted: 07 Mar 10

    @Queens, My mistake, so I do apologize for saying that you called her the B word, I just read it again and I see that I misread! Please accept my apology for that one? You see when I am knowingly wrong, I can apologize, again, I apologize! love godiva

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  38.   Salsassin says:
    Posted: 07 Mar 10

    Greetings from VA. Thought I would check in to see if Boots posted his grand rebuttal. No luck. LOL As to the shoeshine comment. You guys are amusing. I made no shoeshine comment. I posted a video of a young looking punk getting his ass handed to him for talking smack. That he asked for a shoeshine or not, has nothing to do with me. In fact, that video has been posted ad nauseum through youtube. Boots, in his usual foolishness acted like I said something about shoeshining, so I responded to that. Now if you have a problem with that, I could care less. See you when I get back from Seattle.

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  39.   godiva61 says:
    Posted: 07 Mar 10

    Queens, For the last time, It is not place to judge her for her choices, and it's certainly not my place to call her a_____! Has anyone ever called you a derogatory name because you were living in sin, having sex with a woman, that you were yet married to?? If they have, it is in my opinion that would have been wrong and inappropiate!!! You calling her a ______bucket, is cruel and harsh, in my opinion and in her opinion as well.. However you did mention the other day that perhaps this name was a bit harsh, but here you are again calling her the same name agian!!!! You already said it, you're okay with it and I'm assuming proud of it, so keep at it if it makes you feel good, noble and honorable, I can't stop you! What other name have you called her, you just called her the B word! Do you ever read what you initialled said? It was you who broght up the fact that she and the so called boyfriends, are so called Christians, and how wrong she is to expect a man to be a christian, when she herself is not exemplifying Christianity!My answer then, as it is now, no Christian, non-believer, catholic, jew or gentile is PERFECT!!! If and when I want to call someone a deragotory name, then I will do so! I will not do it because you want me to or expect me to. If I did that, that would mean that I have no backbone and I would be doing what someone else want's me to, namely you. I am not a follower! I don't know what you are talking about concerning me and Ich, but I am referring to when I first encountered Ichibod, last year!!!!! I mentioned the harassment issue to show you just how you treat people here unjustly... Of course you will deny it, and try to dismiss it, by asking 'what has it to do with the present'. What does it have to do with the present, everything, because it's still happening! I can recall a time, when Ich, said to you 'I don't like when you pick on my friend's Godiva and World Citizen'. You vehemently denied it and dismissed it then, so I am not expecting you to take responsibility for any of your actions now. Ich, mentioned the other day how he and other's have mentioned to you to tone it down with the name calling, yet it continues.. Wasn't that considered constructive criticism? Did you heed his advice? Remember, you just said 'you take criticism'! My keeping an open mind and trying to give ALL people the benefit of the doubt, is my way of doing thing's, if in your mindset that is considered 'riding the fence', then from the bottom of my heart, I do thank you for the compliment!!!!!! I will never intentionally mistreat people!!! I will listen to people, I will try to show them compassion, I am not into dragging people down, that's not me and I will make no apology for who I am! Furthermore, I care about people but I am not OBSESSED with other people lives, men or women! At least I know that if today is my last day on this earth, I have made an attempt to reach out to someone who might be hurting, rather than being the one who is intentionally hurting someone! Hate me, call me all the names that you can muster, the more you do it the more determined I am going to love you anyway!!!! I am not your enemy!! love godiva

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  40.   boots says:
    Posted: 07 Mar 10

    Greetings to all.... The White world has succeeded in one respect... they have us at each other's throats..until blk men and blk women can look into the eyes of one another and find love.. then this whole historic system of devaluation, pain and seperation will have won, until we (black people) have healed ourselves.. IR , dating, sex and marriage should be put well on the back burner.

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  41.   Member says:
    Posted: 07 Mar 10

    (Listening to you Godiva) Again, where are you denouncing Queen Latifah using "two white men". I accept criticism. People can never accuse me of being with more than 1 woman. Let's get that straight. Secondly, I never preach to people about Christianity. I was born in the church (Seventh Day Adventist). I am open to judgement if I do something wrong. I don't expect people to defend me "doing the wrong thing". Godiva your problem is you want to "please" everyone. If you came out and said "Look girl you a slut bucket, I can't keep defending you". I could respect that. You don't even DO THAT! People need to clarify what 'judging people" means. You are playing word games. You also mentioned the Ich incident. You are wrong on that too. She "blamed" him for ME being "outspoken". Again , you don't denounce the woman or anything like that. yOU just sit there "riding" the fence. When is it acceptable to blame people "for what another person" says? Godiva, I am not changing my tactic at all. This has been the longest thread I ever been on in my life. All because she "brags" about wearing sexy lingerie for two white men. LOL ( I am guessing she does). The only name I called her was "slut bucket". Tell me the "other" names I called her? You are mentioning being harassed. That has nothing to do with what is "presently" happening now. This is a public board. Queen Latifah says this: "@Queenie (eating my popcorn now) ohhhhhhhhhh how does it feel having to defend yourself son? Truth is a BITCH ain’t it? You all for talking about other folks business but when the tables are turned on you, you can’t take the heat. LOL The truth shall set you free. I think it was a lot of “freeing” today. LOL" What business, the fact you sleep with two Christian white men? If the truth sets us free, tell everyone here if you sleep with "both men"? I am always an advocate of the truth. LOL

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  42.   godiva61 says:
    Posted: 07 Mar 10

    It is my underatnding that to be a true Christian is to inspire to be " CHRIST LIKE"! HIS word also says "that we are ALL SINNERS", which simply means, there is NONE that is PERFECT!!!!!A sin is a sin, and all sins come with a penalty!! No sin is greater than the other!!!!!! When you live with a man/woman before marriage and is having sex out of wedlock, it's a sin.!!!!! How many of us were virgins before we married! It doesn't matter if they are your fiancee, girlfriend or not, nor is it more wrong if it's more than one person. It's still wrong in the eyesight of GOD! Any person who is trying to live CHRIST LIKE, is still a sinner!!! There is NO perfection among IMPERFECT people!!!!!!!!! love godiva

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  43.   godiva61 says:
    Posted: 07 Mar 10

    @Mr Queens, Ichibod and I have supported each other, that will never change, at least it won't on my part.. I consider him as a friend, and as far as I know we still are friends. Friends should be able to talk and disagree with each other, and still remain friends! If you recall correctly and accurately, Ichibod was very harsh towards me in the beginning because he misunderstood what I was saying at the time, but when I wrote him back and explained myself in further detail, his heart was opened enough, to listen to my explaination and for that I was impressed!! I love Ichibod! He also apologized and so did I because, there was the chance that I perhaps created the problem in which I wrote it. It is not beneath me, or devestating to my ego to accept responsibility for what strife I may have caused, if for no other reason than to not REPEAT the same mistake twice! You know I have always said that ALL of us are work in progress, and sometimes we ALL miss the mark, including myself! Since that is indeed the truth as I see it, it shouldn't be hard to take constructive criticism!! I don't know about you, but I look forward to improving and cleaning up whatever it is that I need to clean up and/or fix in my life!!!! I have told you a couple times before that I do not approve of your name calling. I have also told you, that sometimes you have made valid point's but becuase you are so stubborn, and sometimes too emotional and too involved in these women lives, you have a tendency to be cruel. If you don't want to hear it or believe it, that is fine, it's on you and I have no power to make you stop with this behavior, but that doesn't mean everyone is in favor of this type of behavior. Personally I think if you if you changed your tactic, people might be more inclined to listen to you! You are one for Honesty, so let's be honest. You used to harass me all the time, and I took it, and I never did anything to you or made any mention of trashing black men, but you kept coming at me, just the same. I didn't hate you then, and I don't hate you now and no matter what you say about me, or what you think about me, I respect you enough as a black man and a human being NOT to call you deragatory names!!!!! I'm not sure of which 'riddles' you are referring to, but if you are not sure of anything that I have said, I will be more than happy to answer you. I am not your enemy, never have been, and never will be!! love godiva

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  44.   Bamababe2k9 says:
    Posted: 07 Mar 10

    @Queenie (eating my popcorn now) ohhhhhhhhhh how does it feel having to defend yourself son? Truth is a BITCH ain't it? You all for talking about other folks business but when the tables are turned on you, you can't take the heat. LOL The truth shall set you free. I think it was a lot of "freeing" today. LOL @Godiva There is a double standard. Like I said about ole boy, he doesn't have problem bashing black women but he doesn't have the ballz to do it to black men on here because he wants them on his side and they are for now...

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  45.   Member says:
    Posted: 07 Mar 10

    Dear Godiva You said this.................... "You are in a no win situation! Just know that I don’t think that you are a ________, for having two suitors. Unfortunately it has always been a double standard in this society when it comes to men and women on some issues, it will never change. I personally never did it that way, but that’s me, I have no right to judge you or make you feel less than a woman, human being, because of your personal choices. When men juggle more than one woman, society calls them player, romeo, the man, but when women do it, well you know! More hypocrisy and double standards!!!!! love godiva" This is the type of bullshit that makes me wonder about you Godiva. When does two wrongs make a right? Also, these two men, by her "own admission", are good white Christian men. Do they deserve to be lied to about "her loyalty"? Do they deserve this type of deception? THIS IS THE SHIT that makes sellout black women fail in "interracial relationships". Even if the perception is "men do the same thing". Women can't do what "men do". Not if you want a serious relationship or marriage. Yea, it is a double standard, but many things in life is "unfair". Instead of cosigning what she is doing, get a backbone and call her on "it". You can knock me for my statements and even accuse Ich of supporting my statements about sellout black women. But you ignore her being a slut with two white men. Simply, because men allegedly do the "same thing". That is a bullshit argument. I have never met a man "with two women" that people "accepted". That is all false bravado. ESPECIALLY if the women "ARE GOOD WOMEN". No man "pats his friend" on the shoulder for "using two good women". Where the hell you heard that from? This is really amazing. Godiva you go "over" on the side of the hypocrites. I thought you was neutral. You got a right to judge somebody that "judges" other people. She act like she an innocent. She judged me, I don't cry about it. She judged Ich and Big Eyes, why you didn't defend them? This is where people get confused. If you rob a store, people call you a criminal. Are you going to say "don't judge the person". The same rule applies here. She claimed she was a "Christian" and "knows" what she is doing is wrong. But has the audacity to "demand respect". Fuck you, I don't respect you! Godiva I am disappointed in you. ( Closing the door)

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  46.   Member says:
    Posted: 07 Mar 10

    (Reading all the comments) Godiva you are dead wrong on some things. I don't know if you are trying to win favor with the "woman" with "two white men". Ich has supported you throughout the whole time you was on the board. I am a big boy, I realize what is said. Essentially, people want to blame me for "everything". Even the words that came out of their "own mouth"! I can't make up a story of you being with multiple men. I don't know how that can be done. The girl that got called a pussy. She caught herself talking about "mothers". I don't talk about black women mothers and parents. However, if you want to get in the gutter we can do it. I pretty much keep the "fight clean". I don't drag people family and kids into a debate about whether interracial dating is "helping" black women. The comment about shining shoes. That is a valid outrage. I am not saying it because I dislike Sal. Sal should have said "yea that was wrong". Na, I don't think he is racist, perhaps a little prejudice because of his "time" in the black community. Maybe, black men bullied him when he was a teenager. He has this vendetta against black men. He says some shit that makes me "shake my head". Another person that accuses me of "twisting" their words. If Queen Latifah stuck to the topic, maybe she wouldn't be getting this type of criticism. First she cried about how black men don't defend her. Then, she goes to Ich and asks him "about what I am saying". He does not even agree with me on most things. She realized she "messed up" and say " Oh don't let it bother you Ich". You was wrong slut bucket just "say that"! You owe Ich an apology for real. I do recall, you just got to "this board". Now you are dictating how you "should be treated". If you didn't brag about your dating "lifestyle". You wouldn't be in this mess right now. Since I don't duck questions or statements. I have talked about black men being white women. I said "black women" made "black men go to white women". Check my blog for that statement. I have gone in depth about that. I don't do the bullshit "Queen Latifah" does. The Tatted one only " on your side" because she dislikes the "way I come across" and for the Big Eyes incident. I can respect that. Tatt really don't let things ride. Big Eyes the same way. People are suggesting I started that. Na, AZ is my white homey. He know what he did. I just saw "what was going on". I still get blamed for it. I don't even promote the "beef" anymore. I like Big Eyes and Tatt. However, Tatt is no "comparison" to you. I can't recall Tatt saying she was with "2 men" at the same time. She don't defend you on that. Nobody on here even defends you on that. They won't even talk about it. I will keep doing it until I get a response. Because if they did "defend you". Godiva wouldn't speak in "riddles". Godiva is right on some things about me. But as far as "topics", show me where I am wrong. As for the article, sellout black women bash black men. I put the Karyn (Don't bring home a white boy fame) interview on my blog. The white women asked her "should she abandon black men". She ain't answer the question directly. On top of that 80 percent of the interview was about "black men". She get so frustrated that she "wishes" people wouldn't talk about race. You named your damn book 'DON'T BRING HOME A WHITE BOY". This is how painfully delusional sellout black women are. If you think white men like being the "second option", you got a rude awakening coming! http://mrlaureltonqueens.blogspot.com/ Good day.

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  47.   godiva61 says:
    Posted: 07 Mar 10

    @Bamababe2k9, Personally, I enjoyed the article, and thank you for sharing.. I guess this article is like anything else, a book, or a movie, people walk away with different opinions and perceptions, it shouldn't be the end of the world, it's not as if the article was jeopardizing this country's natitonal security, but anyway, it is what it is!!!! For what it's worth, I hope that you, (for your own sakes) try very hard in the future to not let people get too far under your skin. Daddy used to say, 'it's not what they call you, but what you answer to', and also as far as your voicing your opinion about the name calling on this site, we all been there, it's been echoed here many, many, many times and I don't think that it will ever change. It would be nice, but somewaht, unrealistic! You are in a no win situation! Just know that I don't think that you are a ________, for having two suitors. Unfortunately it has always been a double standard in this society when it comes to men and women on some issues, it will never change. I personally never did it that way, but that's me, I have no right to judge you or make you feel less than a woman, human being, because of your personal choices. When men juggle more than one woman, society calls them player, romeo, the man, but when women do it, well you know! More hypocrisy and double standards!!!!! love godiva

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  48.   Bamababe2k9 says:
    Posted: 07 Mar 10

    @Godvia,@tatted2death, I wanted to thank you both for your words and getting where I was coming from. That article I posted spoke to me and probably to a lot of sistas on here who are tired of being bashed or someone trying to put them in a box or corner for their choices. The thing I liked about that article too was it didn't bash black men,it bashed people in general who try to question or put down the black woman. If anything, that article should have made some people take a step back and look at themselves. If anyone got upset or offended by that article, then she was talking about you because why would a sista basically saying leave black women alone, offend anyone unless you are the culprit or gulity of what she was talking about. Anyway ladies and all of you who spoke up and out thank you.

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  49.   Bamababe2k9 says:
    Posted: 07 Mar 10

    @Queens Bashing or even borderline bruising Black women is what hot in da streetz. By bashing I mean telling us why we ain’t nothing, ain’t gonna have nothing, ain’t gonna have nobody to share nothing with. Sure, it gets you book deals and blog views and radio shows and talk shows and photo ops and movie deals and basically… paid. I get it. You found a hustle that works and you only have to kick a group of people that are already down to do it. IF THE SHOE FITS...

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  50.   Bamababe2k9 says:
    Posted: 07 Mar 10

    Sunday and we are STILL on this. @Ich if what I said didn't bother you then, why even address it? The point I was making to YOU is that if someone called you out of your name,or better yet someone said that about your sister, momma, niece, gf etc, would you have a problem with it then? Would you sit on the sideline then? I doubt it. Also my point was that most of the men don't say anything because he doesn't talk about YOU. I have yet to see him call black men sell-outs or question why black men aren't married and you know why? As long as some of you are silent, he probably assumes that you agree with him whether you do or not. I'm waiting for for the day when he calls some of the brothas out an see if ya'll say anything then.

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