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Why white men love the black woman

Posted by James, 31 Aug

Ever wondered why some white guys, love black women so much?

It seems that being a white male and proclaiming your attraction to black women (not only sexually, but also romantically) may lead to a lot of controversial and dangerous things. Let’s leave the debate of why more black women may be opening themselves up to white guys. The main focus of this debate is: why some white guys are opening themselves to black women. Let’s concentrate on that.

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Most white males don’t feel like they are running short of white women to marry. White males just marry at high rates. So question is: Why black women? The thing is it will not be fair to bundle up black women as one since everyone is their own person… be it in appearance or personality.

However, one thing that a white male friend of mine said… and I let him get away with bundling it all up is: “We love a black woman's confidence, her tenacity and her undeniable achievements in the face of great adversity...᾿ Since this info was coming from a man, there was definitely the mention of the lips, the curves, and that wonderful skin as well.

So what about stereotypes like “black women are either sexually conservative or total sluts?" Many people give so much lip service to interracial dating sites. You would think they have never done it. But those uptight individuals are the ones that spread these stereotypes. What happened to the highly educated black woman? How about the caring, decent and involved black woman?

Probably most white guys and others are confused with the stereotypical trash people spread around and if you are one that falls for such lame ol’ lines, then you sure as hell haven’t dated a black woman.

Bottom line, you don't have to sacrifice who you are for a white guy. They will love you anyway. Just be you and open yourself up… and if you like white guys, some white guy will find you too.

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8097 responses to "Why white men love the black woman"

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  1.   Bamababe2k9 says:
    Posted: 24 Feb 10

    @All I just read an article on AOL about this interesting book coming out about black women dating white men though you guys might find it interesting. /fyooz/why-white-men-love-the-black-woman.htm

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  2.   MP1962 says:
    Posted: 23 Feb 10

    WTG Sarah :) Awesosme :) After seven years of being a widower, Im looking for my best of my life again. Very difficult, so many are just plain wacky all across the board. Majority its all about making $250K+ a yr, I dont. Would like to meet someone down-to-earth, caring, funny, intelligent, witty and mature with playful qualities. Know anyone, let me know. Michael

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  3.   godiva61 says:
    Posted: 23 Feb 10

    @Scoff/Sarah, It's so good to hear from you Ms. Sarah!! You have both been in my thought's and prayer's.. I hope that life has been treating you well, if it hasn't, it will pass.. Just hold on and don't give up! The sun will shine, it can't rain all the time! Keep in touch, hug each other for me! Scoff, I'm still thinking about that scrumptious meal!! love you both godiva

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  4.   scoff/sarah says:
    Posted: 23 Feb 10

    Just dropped by to catch up on all my dear friends, and say hello. Now to add my little tid bit of wisdom, oh yes their are parts of our history that is not very flattering. Having lived some very terrible times myself, it would be so easy to resort back to the facts and myths we all have heard as a child growing up. What does irrate me to some extent in our Black culture, is the ones that seem to be the most angry or miltant, have never suffered the insults or derogatory treatment that my generation endured. I was very fortunate that my parents, although not educated to much of an extent,demostrated far more wisdom and vision than alot of people of their generation. My Father's favorite saying was God will take of those people, in his own way and time. Now as most of you know I'm a 60 plus older woman, that was graced my God to be, to be united with my first love at the best part of my life. Would I trade a mement of those times absolutely not, those events are part of me, true I have no desire to relive them, as I thank God very day that my childern and grand childern were blessed as not have to endure some of those times. Forgive and get on with your furture, don't live in the past, as well as never forget it, but please rely on facts not embellished half truths. Sorry for some of misspelling, but in a hurry this morning, had a wonderful weekend with Scoff, just an old couple still in love. Bye for now got to get back to Atlanta. I love all of you May God Bless Love Sarah

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  5.   Member says:
    Posted: 23 Feb 10

    True Bama There is some women that got their hand out and they got a good "career' LOL It is not really the broke hoodrat you need to worry about. There are Professional women that will never spend a dime on you. They will spend your're money very fast. I could understand if they have kids and are single moms. I don't expect much from you. Most of these women are educated, childless and Professional. But they still have their freshly manicured hand out. Nowadays, some black women with degrees can be just as ruthless as Professional black men. My theory has always been women cheat more than men do. They just "hide it" better. From my observation, when a black woman breaks up with her white boyfriend or husband. There is no real remorse or anything. Where as a black women breaks up with her black husband or boyfriend. She can hold a grudge for years. Or it can be an amicable split but keep in contact with their "ex". Black women hold to the "past" to much. I plan to release that soon. New Blog Album "BLOG STREET MEDICINE" for sellout black women. They need it.

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  6.   Bamabelle2k9 says:
    Posted: 22 Feb 10

    I basically said this girl is a user and she was testing you to see what she can get out of you. I broke it down to him and said there are a lot of black women with white men or want a white man for the wrong reasons either A)they feel like he'll treat her better then brothas or B)she is with him for the money. This guy is a handsome lawyer late 30's never married no babies who personally if he lived close by, I'd have him by now but I digress, women like this piss me off. If one thing if the man offers to help or you are already in a relationship with him, but ya'll haven't even touched each other yet and your hand is OUT already? Seriously?

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  7.   Member says:
    Posted: 22 Feb 10

    Dear Bamba It is called indirect prostitution. It is what it is. Women will "dance around it on a date". At the end of the day they are prostituting. But are uncomfortable being called one because they were "supposedly" on a date. There are struggling women out here. It wouldn't be a far reach that woman sleeps with men for money. There is a "fine line" between dating and indirect prostitution. I have been with black women that will tell you " you have to do this for me or I wouldn't be with that man". They refer to the third person but really directing the conversation at you. If any man run into these type women, don't ever think it will be a long term thing. She has men lined up indirectly giving her "something" to fuck her. You would be surprised how many black, latin, Asian and white women think this is acceptable. Either way she is disrespectful asking for shit. I usually play along and never give them shit. I just don't care. It's not the money, its the principle of the matter. You are trying to play me.

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  8.   Bamabelle2k9 says:
    Posted: 22 Feb 10

    @ All Now that we are finished rehashing history, I have a topic you all will find interesting. I have a guy friend who went out with a young lady recently (he is white, she is black) who after two dates, no kissing or sex asked him for a hundred dollars. What bothers me is that she barely knows the man and felt like he "owed" her something. To me sistas like this is what gives black women the reputation of being users and gold diggers and why ALOT of white men won't approach us or for that matter why some brothas run to white women. Comments?

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  9.   boots says:
    Posted: 22 Feb 10

    Greetings to all.....the young and the restless...some times it's hard to connect the dots...history has a lot to do with where we r today...the economics of the blk race was forged by much of what we have discussed....boring! well I suppose.......reparations..( the whole point of this discussion may just be about money) reparations could change the way blk people look at one another,ghettos ,crime etc...we may look a little more attractive more desirable than that white guy /girl with all that money and status.........I guess I am just to old ...at age 50yrs..lol...you guys get back to your topic now

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  10.   MzBrOwNSuGaR says:
    Posted: 22 Feb 10

    L@_@king at Queens : LOL I swear, I believe this man has a split personality.

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  11.   MzBrOwNSuGaR says:
    Posted: 22 Feb 10

    ok ok everybody else has done it so i'mo do it too.. get off topic I mean lol. fenway: you got some pretty eyes... I just had to say that

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  12.   Bamabell2k9 says:
    Posted: 21 Feb 10

    Thank God other people are thinking and saying the same thing.Will somebody PLEASE make a point and move on, if nothing else for the sake of the rest of us who want to discuss and hear something new.

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  13.   godiva61 says:
    Posted: 21 Feb 10

    @Ichibod, Did we go to the same school? I learned it in the same manner as you and Salsassin learned it, and yes it was in middle school. It is interesting that this topic has gone on, far too long in my opinion, with no objection's or pleas to end it like the religion conversation. I'm wondering if it's the heart or the ego? Btw, I am feeling much better, ran three miles today! Yea me!! Love ya Bro! godiva

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  14.   kay says:
    Posted: 21 Feb 10

    Well I do not date black men any more. They have allowed themselves to fall off. No job, No education, No security, No respect,No goals.....nothing. Im tired of them! A white MAN...not BOY...but a whote man knows how to treat a lady. They also have things going for them selves. The average black guy sells drugs, has 2 or more kids, no job, no schooling and they dont care a bout life. Im not a gold digger and Im not perfect, but i want someone who wants to accomplish real goals and cares about the future

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  15.   godiva61 says:
    Posted: 21 Feb 10

    @Mr. Queens, I'm so glad that you asked the question "what is the point of this conversation"? I was wondering the exact same thing?? We can not re-write history, and I think most people have a little knowledge about their history, so I don't need to hear or be reminded in 2010 as to why there are some "light skinned" black people, slavery, the middle passage, post slavery era, etc, etc,! We do have the power to write a new chapter in history and we ALL should take responsibility of our own behavior's including how we relate to people, all people, even the one's that you disagree with. A man's true character and integrity emerges, when the situation and/or the conversation's are not in the most productive or constructive atmosphere. Btw, I watched Malcom X last night as well, one of my favorite Denzel roles, besides the role he played in Glory, didn't care for Training Day. godiva

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  16.   fenway2k says:
    Posted: 21 Feb 10

    @ Queens LOL...frustrating isn't it? There is no point. What is supposed to be a forum for people to simply be able to discuss the 'current' topic, will always end up being an open field where intellectual 'snipers' pick out flaws in people's logic and rationale, then spout out their 'superior' intellectual prowess. It's rude and insensitive at times, I agree, but it does make a good mental exercise nonetheless, so I indulge every once in a while. What can I say? Football season is over and I'm bored...lol

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  17.   Member says:
    Posted: 21 Feb 10

    What is the point of this whole conversation anyway? All of you are rehashing history. Now tell me how that affects the present? Are we blaming the white man forever, for not succeeding? I was watching Malcom X last night. I have seen the movie several times. I like to analyze the movie over and over again because it is "so deep". Malcom said so many things that were not even "revolutionary". Such has taking care of your family and kids. Stop selling drug and etc. Preaching education and learning new things. Essentially, you are making it easier for you to fall in the "traps" society sets up for you. Negros on here can talk about "history back and forth" until they are "blue in the face". All I know is, I had to maim a negro or I have been maimed , assaulted and etc in my lifetime. Everything that goes with living in the black community. Almost robbed a couple times just going to the ATM in years past. You wonder why black women are afraid to leave their residence. I own a gun now. Just because it is that serious now. I will pop your ass and really don't care if you had a rough childhood. What makes you think all that shit you did to black people will not catch up to you? I work at a school and a group of black children surrounded me. I was shocked this was even happening. They said "empty your pockets". I said "empty my pockets". I was near my car and opened the door and got my gun out. I said "empty your pocket". What the fuck is wrong with you? The "lead kid" was like " oh I was just playing". I said " empty your pocket and walked up to him". He emptied his pocket and had like a couple dollars. One kid was like " That's Mr Brown, what are you doing? I got in my car and left. Last thing I need is the police arresting me for bullshit. They know me on the school ground so "they wouldn't expect that from me". I got a permit for my weapon so if the police pulled me over it's no big deal. I can't blame the white man for an incident like this. I can blame his momma for not teaching him better on who to fuck with. I was so upset about it. Kid was lucky the gun wasn't loaded. I am not going down for murder for any of these kids. I purposely don't load my gun. You can be menacing with your weapon. You don't got to "shoot" like Charles Bronson. A little psychology I learned in the streets. I was at the ATM and this thug wanted to rob me. I saw him like a half a block away. He came up and close. I went into my jacket like I was about "pull out". This coward ran away so fast. I was like " I guess he got shot at before". Simply amazing. Good day.

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  18.   fenway2k says:
    Posted: 21 Feb 10

    I really don't want to touch this way off base sub topic, but the two sides presented here perfectly illustrate the point I am about to make. For the most part, we can put politics and laws in the same basket. Hell, most politicians are lawyers. To be an effective lawyer, politician, lobbyist, etc., one has to quickly learn Golden Rule #1: It is not the letter of the law that matters, but the interpretation of it. The only mark of a 'good' lawyer or politician is their ability to get others to see things their way. That's the real flaw of politics and policymaking: despite all good 'intentions', someone will inevitably come along, see it in a different light, and twist the whole meaning around. Happens all day, every day. Look at the evolution of this forum, lol.

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  19.   boots says:
    Posted: 21 Feb 10

    MR SALSASSIN..... SORRY I spelled your name wrong.

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  20.   Ichibod says:
    Posted: 21 Feb 10

    Every law starts off one way and ends up being interpreted another. The way you explained it, Salsassin, is the way I learned it in middle school. Most people don't understand politics, which is why both whites and blacks will come away with faulty perceptions about laws, articles and amendments. Hence, the 3/5ths compromise being negatively used against blacks to make them feel less human. Not by the laws makers (maybe in their private lives still), but the lay citizens. People try to ban and outlaw guns without realizing that the 4th amendment gave us the right to protect ourselves just in case the government got out of line. The 1st amendment gave us freedom of the press, assembly, and speach to be able to say the things that the colonists and English couldn't say about or against government, but now it used to protect a person's usually obscene artistic rights or hate marches. I won't get into to what "freedom of religion" truly meant. Interesting debate. It's funny though, that this particular debate is off topic, but has gone on longer with no objections or calls for an end like the earlier topic regarding religion and faith. I wonder why that is? No I don't. I know why.

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  21.   boots says:
    Posted: 21 Feb 10

    To Salssasin. lol.....We all know that the 3/5 rule was all about politics and not a statement about humanity where u been? . You said.... "Delegates opposed to slavery generally wished to count only the free inhabitants of each state.Delegates supportive of slavery ,on the other hand generally wanted to count slaves in their actual numbers".... YOU REALLY SHOULD DO A BIT MORE RESEARCH AND QUIT TALKING TO US AS IF WE ARE UNLEARNED.....IN TRUTH ..SIR.. at the start of the process, Those supportive of slavery, (the south)were opposed to counting any slaves at all, since it was a tax issue ,they felt it was taxation without representation . later when it became an issue of representation then it became urgent in the south to count slaves as 3/5 a white person .....I know full well that the 3/5 rule was passed for political reasons ,and not a statement on the slaves humanity.However there are plenty of statements on record by the so called founding fathers that tell us how they actually felt about blacks and whether they were sub human or not....Are u so dense not to understand that, the status of the slave (over 95% blk) was kept in place by these provisons.If your forefathers didnt feel blks were animals then why did they treat them as such .You dont have to lecture me on the politics of the 3/5 rule I know it well.Sure it was politics but the common denominator was the BLACK SLAVE..... being used as a beast of burden on the one hand and for politcal purposes on the other, to further the power of the south.It may have started out as a taxation issue but it ended as a representation issue. ....(Southerners made sure that slavery was embedded in the very legislative process of the nation as they creatd the constitution-they made the 3/5 rule A NON -NEGOTIALE condition for their joining the Union. Even Alexander Hamilton said this concerning the 3/5 proviso.."Without this indulgence no union could possibly have been formed" ...NEGRO PRESIDENT by GARRY WILLS pg2 prologue and pg 57cp 3 .Let me give u a few tidbits to consider. The 3/5 proviso gave the south a key electoral tool for maintaining slavery ,a voting majority ,some examples...slavery would have been excluded in Missouri,Jackson's Indian removal policy would have failed,slavery would have been banned in the territories won from Mexico, Kansas-Nebraska Bill would have failed Also the deep south imported more slaves from Africa in the 20yrs from 1788 to 1808(the yr the international slave trade was legally banned)than in any other 20yr period. Again as I said before there was a national policy against blks whether implicit or explicit in the CONSTITUTION........NOW MR SALSSASIN... GO BACK TO SLEEP.. WAKE UP... DO MORE RESEARCH ...THEN RESPOND AT A LATER DATE

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  22.   Salsassin says:
    Posted: 21 Feb 10

    Before going to slee, I will just give the first tidbit. The 3/5ths rule was not meant to state that slaves were 3/5ths of a human. It was an attempt at undercutting the power of slave states. The Three-Fifths compromise was a compromise between Southern and Northern states reached during the Philadelphia Convention of 1787 in which three-fifths of the population of slaves would be counted for enumeration purposes regarding both the distribution of taxes and the apportionment of the members of the United States House of Representatives. It was proposed by delegates James Wilson and Roger Sherman. Delegates opposed to slavery generally wished to count only the free inhabitants of each state. Delegates supportive of slavery, on the other hand, generally wanted to count slaves in their actual numbers. Since slaves could not vote, slaveholders would thus have the benefit of increased representation in the House and the Electoral College. The final compromise of counting "all other persons" as only three-fifths of their actual numbers reduced the power of the slave states relative to the original southern proposals, but increased it over the northern position. The three-fifths compromise is found in Article 1, Section 2, Paragraph 3 of the United States Constitution: “ Representatives and direct Taxes shall be apportioned among the several States which may be included within this Union, according to their respective Numbers, which shall be determined by adding to the whole Number of free Persons, including those bound to Service for a Term of Years, and excluding Indians not taxed, three fifths of all other Persons. If it was an attempt at making Blacks 3/5ths of a person, then they would have made Freemen 3/5ths of a person. They didn't. No, it was an attempt at limiting representation of slave states.

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  23.   Salsassin says:
    Posted: 21 Feb 10

    LOL Boots, it took you that long for that pathetic response? I'll address it tomorrow. I have military duties I have to sleep for.

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  24.   boots says:
    Posted: 21 Feb 10

    To mecca 77....DR WELSING is reaching out to those who can be reached...

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  25.   boots says:
    Posted: 21 Feb 10

    economic indicator(spelling)

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  26.   boots says:
    Posted: 21 Feb 10

    To e-dub ... I will always solicit your prayers thank you... but please dont forget to pray for all those white folks ...like SALSSASIN who continue to maintain that nothing is owed to blks,those who helped make this country great but are always at the bottom of every ecomomic indicator...when you pray ask JESUS the real meaning of restoration as it is explained in the old testament....as I said before Iam a christian...there is no where in the Bible Old or New Testament where GOD has said that interracial relationships will lead us to the promised land ( and I pray to my GOD in Heaven that I have not taken his NAME in vain)

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  27.   mecca77 says:
    Posted: 21 Feb 10

    i read and seen dr. francis welsing. do lectures at howard university when i was in college yrs ago,. i read the isis papers north america will never accept interracial anything. tell me something i don't know. but that do not bother me. i am my individual self.

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  28.   boots says:
    Posted: 21 Feb 10

    Greetings to all.....bigeyes,queens salsassin,fenway2k..and everybody else...as I said before,fenway2k bro I love your fire, u2 queens....this comment is directed at SALSSASIN who said he was waiting 4 me to give an example of a federal law on blacks...first of all I never said there was a federal law on the enslavement of ALL blks,we all know that some blks were free...but our general disagreement has been whether blks bore the greater suffering than other groups, which u have named irish, native americans etc. Some times I find it difficult to respond to those that want to pretend to be naive about our U.S history and constitutional matters concerning slavery....SALSASSIN.... here are some of the colonial policies that the drafters of the constitution incorporated into the doucument of the new nation....ARTICLE 1 SECTION II...... which counted slaves as 3/5 of a person , the federal ratio ,for establishing representatives to the congress(electoral college) This law was aimed specifically at black slaves, to the extent the originator THOMAS JEFFERSON was called the negro president..."the federal ratio undermined the very possibility of debating or changing the status of slaves. It gave a key electoral tool for maintaining slavery:..."Negro President(Jefferson and the slave power) GARRY WILLS( pg4) ,houghton mifflin co. THE U.S CONSTITUTION ..ARTICLE 1 SECTION 9 which gave legitimacy to the slave trade for 20 more yrs (most slaves coming from blk AFRICA).....ARTICLE IV SECTION 2 it bound the states to assist in returning(fugitive) runaway slaves to their "masters" Although the Constitution(federal) does not contain the word negro ,black,or slave .These three provisions relate directly to blk people........again to you ...SALSASSIN YOU HAVE HERE AN EXAMPLE OF A PUBLIC POLICY (federal in nature) DIRECTED TOWARD BLKS.Please take the blinders off ,4 someone who has studied the Law I would have thought you To be wise to such things. .....No group in this country has suffered and continues to suffer, no group has invested more in this country without reaping the benefits no group has been more resilient in the face of adversity..than blk people......."When both blk male and female take up the struggle for justice against white supremacy they are endowed with the strongest possible insurance that they will remain united.They are united in a common effort against injustice..........they express the strongest possible statement about respect and love for themselves as individuals. In doing this....they are declaring that they have conferred upon themselves the highest possible value, which is essential if there is to be self-group-defense"...Dr Frances Cress Welsing: THE ISIS PAPERS(the keys to the colors)we should all resist interracial sex, marriage etc.

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  29.   MP1962 says:
    Posted: 20 Feb 10

    Black men go after white women because they want to feel a certian empowerment and retribution against "de ebil debil whytiee man oppressa whos don puts us down low dees may yeeas. Yessum Suh, sho nuff MFr" Kobie Bryant, Oj Simpson, aaaannnd TIGER WOODS !!!! When are you black men going to grow up, stop blaming society, white people, for YOUR lack of responsibilty towards family, your wife, your kids, your job (If you get off your ass and find one) and society ? Oh wait,, damn /SNAP I forgot, your culture is repleat with your icons,, The Godfather, Scarface, Boy in the hood, Menace to society, To-Pac, Notorious BIG, Snoop dog,,, everyone and everything that kills, steals, destroys, murders and rapes ,, Oh,, and ya,,, you turn to islam to justify your actions ,, Allah always you to kill people.. DOnt beleieve me ? What did your culture kill that kid honor student a month back with railroad tie sectiosn cause he wouldnt join a gang? How come whena hispanic man was hit and run last year with all those black peopel standing by not one of YOU went out there to help him ? What are your famous words ,, DAAAAAMMMNN !!!!!!!!!!

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  30.   Salsassin says:
    Posted: 20 Feb 10

    Glad we agree. On the gay word, that is why I put the explanation in parenthesis. I couldn't remember a similar word. What came to mind, but I couldn't put into words was the smurfs frolicking around.

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  31.   fenway2k says:
    Posted: 20 Feb 10

    The gay reference was based on the definition of gay. 1 a : happily excited : merry b : keenly alive and exuberant : having or inducing high spirits I have a word for you which can shed light on my failure to see this definition: ar·cha·ic1. also Archaic Of, relating to, or characteristic of a much earlier, often more primitive period, especially one that develops into a classical stage of civilization: an archaic bronze statuette; Archaic Greece. 2. No longer current or applicable; antiquated: archaic laws. 3. Of, relating to, or characteristic of words and language that were once in regular use but are now relatively rare and suggestive of an earlier style or period. headnubianincharge.wordpress.com

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  32.   fenway2k says:
    Posted: 20 Feb 10

    I agree with everything you just said. I was really trying to tell James that the White man's attraction t Black women is not the novel idea he tried to purport. (damn I should know better than to 'attempt dem big ass words!)

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  33.   Salsassin says:
    Posted: 20 Feb 10

    I did not lie, and I stated that what your post seemed to infer. Thanks for clarifying, because the post was confusing and did seem to allude to what I said, but, as they say, it is ultimately to the writer to state what they meant. So now that you clarified, because your attempt at big words failed to be clear, no worries, you still don't sound like a 2 year old, LOL. I think your friend falls in the same category as our supposed Italian friend above. Some White men do tend to exotify, or in some other way, idealize Black women as being somehow different and therefore interesting to be with. I do think their can be ethno cultural differences, but I have found that there is no defined way African American women act as it can vary a great deal by region, let alone by individual. I fall for the individual, and I think many White males do to. It is true that some allure will exist for the rarer woman. If you see White beauty 24/7 and then are exposed to Black beauty of equivalent quality, she will jump out at you because she stands out. But hopefully her individual qualities will be the catch. On the same token, when you travel to an area where Black beauty is predominant, if you bump into an attractive White or Latino girl, for example, their beauty will jump out at you. Visual reference cues. There is also human nature. If you find something interesting and you have never experienced it before, you will be tempted, more than something you have tried before. So curiosity is definitely a factor. The gay reference was based on the definition of gay. 1 a : happily excited : merry b : keenly alive and exuberant : having or inducing high spirits . Maybe I should have said Jolly.

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  34.   fenway2k says:
    Posted: 20 Feb 10

    @ salsassin Woof! Arf? "Last time you dropped a stick and barked that White men were having sex with women to break their spirit because they were “so lively” in the face of oppression and couldn’t be broken by mere slavery. Thus the White man used sexuality to break them." I made no such reference, directly or implied. Since you can only understand "dem big ass words" when they come out of your mouth, allow me to cease and desist with them immediately and allow me to break it down to yo like a two year old. I SIMPLY SAID THAT BACK IN THE DAY, WHITE MEN USED THE FACT THAT THEY OWNED THEIR SLAVE WOMEN AS JUSTIFICATION TO SLEEP WITH THEM. That's it. Stop right there. They couldn't openly be in a relationship with them but that did nothing to stop their desire for them. So they used their only ace in the hole to satisfy that desire. That's it. Stop right there. “White men would see the strength in their resolve as they go about their chores, hear the joy and contentment in their song despite their circumstances and inferior status in society, they would see the passion in their walk, their laugh, their dance and in typical fashion at the time, would try to dominate, take and possess what would not be given to them.” This is what I said, but that is not what you responded to. You responded to your translation: "So basically White men where watching these Black women skippydodadulling and they would have sex with them to 'try to dominate, take and posess what would not be given to them.'" I apologize again because your translation takes my words out of context. I was responding to the part of the "loaded question" that stated: "The main focus of this debate is why some white guys are opening themselves to black women? Let’s concentrate on that. Most white males don’t feel like they are running short of white women to marry. White males just marry at high rates. So question is: Why black women? The thing is it will not be fair to bundle up black women as one since everyone is their own person… be it in appearance or personality. However, one thing that a white male friend of mine said… and I let him get away with bundling it all up is: “We love a black woman’s confidence, her tenacity and her undeniable achievements in the face of great adversity…�? Since this info was coming from a man, there was definitely the mention of the lips, the curves, and that wonderful skin as well." Once again, I answered the question in ITS context, using my statement to illustrate from history that the White Man's mindset (I used the quote from his White friend to assume the mindset) towards wanting Black Women is nothing new, which is what James seemed to imply. The gay reference is too ridiculous to even comment upon so I won't. Here we go again with your tranlating, then responding. You claimed I said this: "Now if you think that common words in discussions of this type, like misogynistic and patriarchal, and machismo, and others are too difficult to comprehend, then you are the one looking down on the rest of the readers here." When I actually said this: "I am not so arrogant (holds up mirror, “???”) as to assume that if I choose to flex my intellectual prowess and begin to communicate a plethora of multi-syllable verbiage, such as misogynistic and patriarchal, that the masses would comprehend my meaning, no matter how tempting it would be to stroke the hell out my own ego by showing of my superior diction and grammatical excellence." Two totally different things. I would appreciate it in the future if you respond to what I said, not what you think I said. In the words of the hood... YOU AIN'T GOTTA LIE TO KICK IT, HOMEY! headnubianincharge.wordpress.com

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  35.   Salsassin says:
    Posted: 20 Feb 10

    To: fenway2k The title may be, why White Men Love Black Women? Which is a loaded question in itself. My answer to the question itself would have been the same. The fact that you seem to affirm the loaded question still gets the same response. So yes, you were just Pluto biting at the stick that Mickey threw. I never stated or challenged your claim that White men liking Black women was something new. I challenged the premise behind why they liked them you proposed. Yes it was Taboo (in the north, more than the south) to mix with Africans. But Pluto, you are fetching another stick this time. Last time you dropped a stick and barked that White men were having sex with women to break their spirit because they were "so lively" in the face of oppression and couldn't be broken by mere slavery. Thus the White man used sexuality to break them. And that now that barriers to relationships are lower, White men, like addicts will pursue this cause celebre with more gusto. That myth is a classic. "Why Black women should not trust White men. They are only in it to re-enslave you!" Yes your dainty tales of women skipping around under oppression until the White man had sex with them portrayal was very disneylandish. If you weren't trying to imply anything you should have read what you posted first. You want me to break your original post down to you sentence by sentence? The Taboo aspect, indeed hasn't completely gone away, as this country is still very racialized. Let me quote you the part where I disagreed with you, because, until then, I was in complete agreement, "White men would see the strength in their resolve as they go about their chores, hear the joy and contentment in their song despite their circumstances and inferior status in society, they would see the passion in their walk, their laugh, their dance and in typical fashion at the time, would try to dominate, take and possess what would not be given to them." So basically White men where watching these Black women skippydodadulling and they would have sex with them to "try to dominate, take and posess what would not be given to them." What was not being given to them? the skippydudaddling? where you referring to the earlier mention of "When the slave masters bought slaves, in their mind, they owned the slaves, were nothing but property so they felt they had the right to do with them what they pleased." While this part alone, I agreed with, your next paragraph made it sound like the relationship was trying to crush the ladies for daring to be uplifting in their life at times, and not realize their place as property. Now maybe you were just trying to say their gay (in the original sense of the word) activities made them look appealing in a sensual way and that White men still find Black women appealing when they go around with their "song and dance" in life, and lust after them, but the wording seemed to indicate using sex to try to crush their spirit. "It’s akin to giving a fat person with an eating disorder a job as a cook in an all-you-can-eat cafe." So which part was the eating disorder? Crushing the women's spirit or just lusting after their song and dance? If you wanted to speak in 'Disneyland' and simplistic representations because you wanted EVERYONE to hear and understand what you had to say, you failed in your barking Pluto. I guess your "bi dem words" weren't as effective as you thought. Now if you think that common words in discussions of this type, like misogynistic and patriarchal, and machismo, and others are too difficult to comprehend, then you are the one looking down on the rest of the readers here. Ya dig?

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  36.   Member says:
    Posted: 20 Feb 10

    See, I leave for a minute. They start letting the mental ill black women back in the building. I really don't know what you are rambling about. Let me name the NBA players with black women. Chauncy (Denver Nuggets) Allen Iverson (76ers) Ron Artest (Lakers) Lebron James (Cavs) Boobie Gibson (Cavs)"Keyshia Coles his wife" I can go on and on. Now go take your medication and stop watching television before you let "other black women" fail like you. Going back to playing my "PSP" Oh yea, the recession don't bother me.

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  37.   fenway2k says:
    Posted: 20 Feb 10

    I'll agree if you stop calling me 'fernway'...lol!

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  38.   mecca77 says:
    Posted: 20 Feb 10

    oh no fernway . thats why i hate the internet and email people take things the wrong way. no i did not say you called me out i did not take it personally i was agreeing with you. not saying that you was not telling the truth i know you are. what i am saying it makes it difficult for some of us to be in interacially relationship. you really have to exam why you want one. not because its in style. or your homegirl has one. and he treats her better than a blackman syndrome. whitemen are no different than blackmen to a certain degree when it come to affairs of the heart. its called humanoid... agree?

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  39.   mimi says:
    Posted: 20 Feb 10

    To Mr Laurelton Queens Get a little money and run to the nearest blonde even if it means risking your lives or careers, OJ, Kobe, emmet till whistling at ww and got killed etc tiger woods. ww they wanna test the mandigo fantasy or only if u rich and in NBA Otherwise these? white women dont want average broke black brothas. Even though you put these? women on a pedalstal, black men being the ONLY RACE OF MEN TO? PUT OTHER RACES OF WOMEN ABOVE THEIR OWN WOMEN

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  40.   bigeyes31 says:
    Posted: 20 Feb 10

    whaaaa haaa LMAO I love this place....

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  41.   fenway2k says:
    Posted: 20 Feb 10

    @ Salsassin I'm sorry, I though the title of this post was why White Men Love Black Women? I must have misread that. Forgive me for answering in the context I thought was presented, because in my 'Disneyland' mentality, I assumed that to include all women would take me off the "main focus of this debate" (I guess I must have gotten that quote from Mickey Mouse?) which is..."Why some White men are opening themselves up to Black Women." Having spent too much time in Space Mountain caused me to want to illustrate that this new phenomenon that James the author of this post alluded to was really nothing new. I further consulted with Donald Duck and we concluded that back in the day, it was TABOO for blacks and whites to be in a relationship (you can mix up Black, White, male, female however you want here) together and White men used their power and authority to defy that. Actually I wasn't trying to imply anything, just saying White men used what was available to them to get what they wanted. That desire hasn't changed for White men in this day and era either (shut-up Pluto, you're not supposed to be here). In fact, they're all shouting for joy that interracial relationship are being more tolerated because they can openly pursue what they've always wanted. So this is not a new, novel idea for White men. I speak in 'Disneyland' and simplistic representations because I want to EVERYONE to hear and understand what I have to say. An effective communicator can not only understand 'dem big ass words', but can translate and communicate the same message to the laity. I am not so arrogant (holds up mirror, "???") as to assume that if I choose to flex my intellectual prowess and begin to communicate a plethora of multi-syllable verbiage, such as misogynistic and patriarchal, that the masses would comprehend my meaning, no matter how tempting it would be to stroke the hell out my own ego by showing of my superior diction and grammatical excellence. Ya dig? headnubianincharge.wordpress.com

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  42.   Salsassin says:
    Posted: 19 Feb 10

    To Fenway2k, White men have always wanted WOMEN, period. Be they Black, White, Asian, etc. Prohibited fruit, even better. Anything prohibited or rare becomes more exotic. This goes all ways. And the vast majority of civilizations have been misogynistic and patriarchal. Men have abused women when they could get away with it through out history. In this sense, the Black woman is no different than the Asian, or Native woman. In similar circumstances, they would have suffered the same. And Native American women did. Having said that, even in early history we see counter trends where some men have valued their partners to the point that they were willing to sacrifice all. And even in the worst circumstances, men and women have fallen in love. There is no golden rule. You have to look at the individual circumstance and see what was going on. White men did not go after Black women as some sort of way of breaking them, and your disneyland representation of how they were acting in slavery, is foolish as well. Men raped women because of power and lust. And others would take similar women and risk everything to protect them, in a society that would frown upon them. Making general claims of the past and then making some allusion that this is the mentality of the present is just naive.

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  43.   fenway2k says:
    Posted: 19 Feb 10

    Oh I apologize mecca77 I was responding to the blog James posted about white men and black women. If there was anything in my post that called you out or made you think I was talking to you personally. I sincerely apologize. headnubianincharge.wordpress.com

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  44.   mecca77 says:
    Posted: 19 Feb 10

    wow dude calm down. ferway we know our history of whitemen always wanting black women. etc. yes this ideology. if i can call it that. is still true. but i am talking about misconception of what people think dating interaccally has and effect. there are going to be some issue a lot of us cannot handle . in a interacial relationship. oh they are going to come up. i lived with my white british lover in europe for 9 yrs. we did not have a issue over there , like in the united states. united states still not going to be ready. yes i am light skinned. i know my ancestoral history . my great grandad was irish. and my great grandmother was cherokee. pure blood. and my grandmother married a blackman which is my grandfather. who was a doctor but could not practice because of racism legally. and on my father side. my great grandfather was from the gold coast of africa. he was from ghana. but does that make me any different . hell to the no!!.. i am still considered by law african american. we all know that. but i feel in love with a man who saw pass my flaws. and i his. we just fell in love i did not see a white guy. see you fell to realize most of women are more tolerable than men. we are not afraid. but men. are. oh what the boys going to think. ah, what mom going to think . yes i went through it all dating . family memebers not liking it. did it affect me yes. until i told them this is my life...lol. step off. did my lover get angry sometimes when he hear the boys at the water cooler. talk about how they fucked some big ass black women or latina chick , last nite. yes. you know the locker room talk dude. see that's where our young men are getting these sterotypes from. and yes i met white guys whom i do not encounter just want to lay you to see what it feels like. i am not a lab rat. i stay away . so we have to choose who we let into our lives. and most of us do. but i know the ones when i see one. you can tell if you have a man that used to dating black or latina women. why. you will know. believe me.

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  45.   Bamabelle2k9 says:
    Posted: 19 Feb 10

    I don't mind white men finding me cute and sexy, but if that's all he knows and sees, then I'm not interested. It's one thing to admire me another to obejectify me.

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  46.   fenway2k says:
    Posted: 19 Feb 10

    WOW! This topic changes more than the weather here in STL! But anyway, White men have ALWAYS wanted Black women. Even a quick glance give credence to my statement. When the slave masters bought slaves, in their mind, they owned the slaves, were nothing but property so they felt they had the right to do with them what they pleased. White men would see the strength in their resolve as they go about their chores, hear the joy and contentment in their song despite their circumstances and inferior status in society, they would see the passion in their walk, their laugh, their dance and in typical fashion at the time, would try to dominate, take and possess what would not be given to them. Hate to burst some of your bubbles, but to all you 'fair', 'light-skinned', and 'high-yellow' Black folks out there... some White man proved my above comments to be true. Now we live in a society that is becoming more tolerant of interracial relationships... It's akin to giving a fat person with an eating disorder a job as a cook in an all-you-can-eat cafe. headnubianincharge.wordpress.com

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  47.   mecca77 says:
    Posted: 19 Feb 10

    bamabelle... you are so correct your perceptive. which is good i keep telling women who are on these sites these men want to get laid. most men are not looking to get married. i think i am older than most of you here and the bottom line is in the past 30 yrs men. view of women sucks!... men and some still do but hard to find. are intimadated by smart women. and powerful women they feel we cannot me nurturing and the such. not true. we have kids to raise put through college pay bills. yes we are and have to become economically inclined. white men are no different from black, asian etc. men in the united states . and i lived abroad. have the old idea of barefoot and pregnant . whore madonna complex. they hate women. seem as though. but getting back to your statement bambella. stand up for yourself. you go girl!.. everything starts with the woman. and so many of us have let men in general rule what we think of ourselves. overdone. hairweaves makeup fake this fake that. because we think and they think that is beauty. so we cannot win can we sisters. i define my purpose with or without a man. and once you reconize this . a male black or white or green. does not make you or break you. men respect a challenge. thats why i know i probably be single for the rest of my life . i refuse to give in to nonsense i know what a king looks like. and smell like when i see one. and once you come into your spirtual self as a woman. no one can come between that. i dated mulitcultural most of my life. and no one is no different. believe me...lol. see guys on these sites think we are whores and freaks. when you have men coming at you like that. its a game. if you going to play that game. get something out of it . and stop looking for one of these internet. pussys for a relationship its not going to happen. sorry to bust anyone bubble. .. look how man guys you have to meet to get to mr. so called right. or good enough. i do not like sleeping with random strangers. its dangerous and crazy.

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  48.   fkoi says:
    Posted: 19 Feb 10

    Wow! This train just keep a-rollin'. The topic has morphed some but obviously really hit a chord!

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  49.   Bamabelle2k9 says:
    Posted: 19 Feb 10

    Guys like this scare me because they honestly feel they love black women when it truth, he probably just wants to get laid. I had a guy hit on me like that and I basically said, so all you have to offer me is is your penis and your tongue. Not your love,patience,or time. All you offering is your penis and I get get that anytime.

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  50.   Tweets says:
    Posted: 19 Feb 10

    I just came across this site and read this. I must say that some of the comments here are truly amazing. I am a Black American woman by the way who has never dated a White man. It's just never happened before. Personally speaking, I am more attracted to my fine Black American brothers. There are many reasons why White men date Black women I've heard. Some of them say that they like them for their sex. And any intelligent Black woman is not going for crap like that from any man period. Some are curious about Black women in the sack, which again leads back to sex. And then there may be those who are actually enticed by their beauty, grace, and strength. We are not all clones, we are individual Black women who should not all be pegged into some box. We all have different personalities and thoughts. Despite those ignorant myths that some hold regarding us all.

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