Why white men love the black woman

Posted by James, 31 Aug

Ever wondered why some white guys, love black women so much?

It seems that being a white male and proclaiming your attraction to black women (not only sexually, but also romantically) may lead to a lot of controversial and dangerous things. Let’s leave the debate of why more black women may be opening themselves up to white guys. The main focus of this debate is: why some white guys are opening themselves to black women. Let’s concentrate on that.

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Most white males don’t feel like they are running short of white women to marry. White males just marry at high rates. So question is: Why black women? The thing is it will not be fair to bundle up black women as one since everyone is their own person… be it in appearance or personality.

However, one thing that a white male friend of mine said… and I let him get away with bundling it all up is: “We love a black woman's confidence, her tenacity and her undeniable achievements in the face of great adversity...᾿ Since this info was coming from a man, there was definitely the mention of the lips, the curves, and that wonderful skin as well.

So what about stereotypes like “black women are either sexually conservative or total sluts?" Many people give so much lip service to interracial dating sites. You would think they have never done it. But those uptight individuals are the ones that spread these stereotypes. What happened to the highly educated black woman? How about the caring, decent and involved black woman?

Probably most white guys and others are confused with the stereotypical trash people spread around and if you are one that falls for such lame ol’ lines, then you sure as hell haven’t dated a black woman.

Bottom line, you don't have to sacrifice who you are for a white guy. They will love you anyway. Just be you and open yourself up… and if you like white guys, some white guy will find you too.

8097 responses to "Why white men love the black woman"

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  1.   Scoff/Sarah says:
    Posted: 21 Sep 09

    Sarah's Memories Lunch time, by now I had my whole speech planned out, I'm sure most of us have used all the terms nice boy, this just isn't working out, too different to really work, and the old stand by let's just be friends. Many many more, that I could list, like I had said, I ran through the list and picked out the ones I thought would best suit our situation. So at lunch time I proceeded to sit at our usual place, but to my surprise no Scoff, not wanting to ask one of the other ladies as to why he wasn't there, afraid, it would raise some suspicions, I just sat and ate in silence, not paying much attention to any of the conversations going on around me. When one of the ladies casually asked me where that nice white boy was today, shrugging my shoulders and shaking my head I mumbled I have no idea, as I tried to appear indifferent to his where abouts. Then one of the other ladies added oh I saw him go down the path to the pond. Thinking alright, so thats where he's hiding, so I quickly put a plan togeather, I spoke out oh I have an upset stomach, I had better get to the restroom, leaving the group with I'll be right back. Heading toward the rest room, I peeked back to make sure no one was watching, I turned to follow the path to the pond. As I got to the edge of the pond I saw Scoff sitting on the ground throwing bread out in the pond to feed the fish. Walking up behind him I put my hands on his shoulders, prior to this I never had made any motion to touch Scoff he had always touched me so this was another first. Startled at first Scoff tensed up a bit, until he reconized it was me. As I began to speak I sarted with I read your note, it's good that you feel that way. He stood up and faced me, as he began to explain that he just didn't want me mad at him, in that he knew I was good girl. Feeling good about the whole situation, I took his hand, replying thank you Scoff for being so understanding. Leaning forward I pulled his head closer with my other hand, intending to kiss him on the cheek,(yes really). Some how our lips met, I quickly pulled back throughly embarressed. Both of us slightly shocked and speechless, staring at each other. Now the next thing that happened I can't even remember how, but we were locked in one deep passionate kiss. Stepping back again looking at each other then me the shy colored girl, looking at him and saying kiss me again. Ending only out of fear of getting caught, splitting up to ease our way back to work, as if nothing happened. I felt so guilty, I had never really kissed a boy that way before and me telling him to kiss me again. What a tramp, I thought, then I would think about that wonderful feeling of kissing someone you had feelings for. I still refused to call it love, it took the whole summer before I would admit that. More guilt I kissed a white boy, God I hope no one ever finds out. Then I hope we can meet this evening, oh God whats wrong with me.

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  2.   Scoff/Sarah says:
    Posted: 21 Sep 09

    Monday morning reflections; Had a wonderful week end, the grand daughters spent Saturday and Sunday, Now I'm recharged and ready for a new week. I think I left off with my delirium, love/hate emotions. Adding to the whole mix after the conversation in the grocery store my reaction to speaking to a white boy in public made me very uncomfortable. I finally had it all togeather, I was going to end this whole white boy colored girl thing the first chance, I had Monday (or so I thought). Arriving to work that Morning, I saw Scoff briefly but did not have a chance to confort him. Thinking okay I'll just wait for lunch, then when we do our little routine, I'll break this off and out of my simple life. As in most situations of the heart, when you think you have all the answers something changes. Busy working (packing tomotoes) a note was dropped into my work station, I looked up to see Scoff walking off. I quickly folded the note and stuck in my pocket to read later. The first chance I got to read it I was so touched, I still remember some of the contents. Sarah my friend I've done something to offend you, please forgive me for it, as I know that our friendship is creating a hardship on you, so if we must part let us part as friends. Yes I was hoping for more, but I do realize that may not be possible. Thinking about you Scoff Oh my God that was the first note I had ever recieved from a boy, and a white boy at that. Now I felt bad for being so ugly to him that Friday and Saturday. Now I had to make a plan B to make myself feel okay with ending this potential flirting boy girl crush or what ever it was, as I still didn't have good handle on what we doing or where we going to end up. Again to keep my promise to limit the space on this blog site, I'll make two post. To all my friends, Luv Sarah

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  3.   SEWilde says:
    Posted: 21 Sep 09

    Ms. Godiva, Thanks for the complement and the acknowledgment. I, like you have hope that one day all people will treat, and be treated with respect by everyone. (Maybe that's just plain old, asking for too much!) I have observed, that some younger people are much more disrespectful than people were when I was growing up. (I know, I know, I’m from the old school.) These days, there seems to be an attitude of entitlement, under the guise of freedom of speech, to say, “I can say what I want, any way I want to, and f*** you if you don’t like it.” This seems pervasive in some young people in today’s society, and I have seen it other places, but I do not notice it in mature adults. I’m not saying it doesn’t exist in the elder population, I just haven’t witnessed it. In some of the mature population, however, I do detect a sense of protocol; there seems to be an etiquette of civility. I would like to see more of that in society in general. Have a fantastic day, and keep the faith! Scoff/Sarah, I am very happy today. One reason is that this portion of the site has cleared out for the newest and best-est IR blog ever! All the excitement is now over there, and that frees this one up a bit. No one will come in here, as there is nothing controversial going on, ‘just us old folk.’ It’s good to see your posts, and now that everyone has gone on to the next topic, if you stay here, I hope to be able to follow your story more succinctly. But then again, as they say, it’s a free country; you can go wherever you please. Lately, I am not always in a position to read or respond to these blogs, as there are some deadlines I need to take care of. This blog is the first blog I have ever followed for any length of time, or responded to, and I am amazed that to this day, people are still ostracized for choosing a lover of another color. I didn’t know this kind of controversy was going on to this degree. I don’t know your current situation, (there is no need to divulge that information without the possibility of being verbally body slammed into the next blog) but I would sure hope if you do decide to be together, I would hope you don’t continue to let people beat you over the head with guilt trips of being a “traitor” of your race, or somehow being responsible for what “the white man” did in slavery times when he “violated” the black woman. As if we "owe it to our race," or are somehow, "betraying our people" for loving who we love. Thankfully, at this stage in my life, during my past IR relationships, neither of us cared what others thought. It was just not a consideration for us being together. There was no need to dredge up the whole history of slavery with conversations of needing to understand the role of the black woman, and white man in the context of dating. We didn’t have to “prove” anything to anybody. Besides, nobody ever cared about our mature IR relationship, as we were probably just considered to be “old people” anyway. My kids don’t care who I date, (not that I’ve dated anybody in a while – but hey, it could happen!) and I don’t care who they date, they don’t live here, and it’s just not an issue. I do, however, think that depending on where one lives in the United States, a young IR couple could have a stigma attached to them, and probably receive the same reaction from family, friends, and society that I received when I was younger. Here in Southern California, in my area and in my circle of friends, there are all kinds of mixtures, nobody notices, nobody cares. Everybody I know has some kind of mixture in their immediate family. Every accepts everybody else, but I guess that’s what I’m used to. My hope for you is, if you do decide to continue your story, and stay on the unpopular side, (don’t go to the other side – you’ll kill yourself!) that you tell the story because you want to, even if only two people read it. I hope you tell it because you really have a story to tell, and not that you want to win a popularity contest or make up a happy ending. Nobody cares what we say in here, we’re old fashioned. (LOL) I think we’re out of the controversial zone, should you decide to stay here in the slow lane. Keep the wine chilled for me, and light a fire in the fireplace. With much love, respect and admiration, always... SE

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  4.   85kguy says:
    Posted: 20 Sep 09

    A love song on the radio is going to say everything that women want to hear. A true story is not. Lots of "daughters" in trouble every year. Their love energy and actions constantly are the product, from teen mothers to professionals, of listening to unrealistic stories about love. Do them a favor.

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  5.   85kguy says:
    Posted: 19 Sep 09

    Scoff and Sarah, Fame and popularity can seduce. You are popular. Will you sell out? Or will you tell some unpleasant truths here and there about what you had to do and suffer for during an unpleasant time in our history? Person 1: Tell the story the way I want to hear it and I will be your friend! Person 2: Yeah,tell the history and say things I want to hear! Person 3: Tell the truth. Some pleasant and some unpleasant where applicable if you can. Answer responses truthfully if you can. Protect Sarah if you have to. I know you love her deeply. Most rape victims cannot take the stand. Society did this to you. A very bad society. Yours is a true love that society blocked and ostracized, but they did not extinguish the flame. They are still threatening to you, this society. Person 3

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  6.   85kguy says:
    Posted: 19 Sep 09

    I won't bother with sideshow stuff. Putting people in their "place" was the goal of the sideshow. In a civilized society no one has a "place" to be put into. That ended in our society long ago. Scoff spoke truthfully. It is not what IR women want to hear in a forum like this. It made his testimony credible and truthful in my opinion. I even used a Solomon analogy in my next response with regard to him. End the sideshow. Quit trying to censure response to suit what you want to hear IR women. After all, you're not the communist party and this is not N. Korea. Answer the challenge, be bigger people, show tolerance, and end the sideshow.

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  7.   godiva61 says:
    Posted: 19 Sep 09

    85kguy, Since this is a public forum, I, just as yourself have the right to comment on anything that I feel compelled to comment on and I will continue to do so for as long as I want to.. Take responsibility for your own words.. If my memory serves me correctly , Scoff came on the scene sometime in August, Sarah came along a little after which. When they began to tell their story, I along with other's encouraged them to do so. Not once did I imply of their story being a Falsehood, or subtly implying that Sarah was not telling the truth, this was from YOUR mouth and NOT mine.. So in all HONESTY it was YOU who was hindering them to tell their story, not to mention, the interruptions from YOU, with your doubts... Why couldn't you have allowed them to finish their story without your INTERRUPTIONS??? I for one NEVER doubted if their story was NOT true, so to sit here and imply that I am the one who is influencing their story is just CRAZY.. Since this is a TRUE story, one in which I never doubted, silently or PUBLICLY as you did, there is NO way that I would be able to INFLUENCE their story.... The story has already been written, it can NOT be influenced by me or anyone else... Maybe had you just been supportive in the BEGINNING, even if it meant being SILENT until they finished, then maybe it wouldn't be playing out like this. Just for the record, if you would/could allow yourself to be HONEST with yourself, about yourself, go back and reread your OWN words!! Also I am not the only ONE who had a problem with what you said to Scoff/Sarah!!! This is not the first time that your behavior was a little harsh and inappropiate.... If I can recall, and I'm going on memory here, sometime in July, you came on like a little typhoon towards jazzlover. Again a person whose life was and is her own, maybe she didn't make the best choices, and personally I think that she shared a little too much information, but you just had to jump on her with your JUDGMENT, but of course you did come back and "picked up the olive branch, briefly"... Scoff answer was his answer, I had no problem with his answer, I just did not understand the NEED for him having to be put in a situation to give an explaination, I didn't like it, still don't like it, voiced my opinion on it because I wanted to... I ALSO will NOT take a seat to ANY AND ALL BEHAVIOR!!! I have been here much longer than you and for the ones' who know me, know that I have been the least confrotational, argumentive person here... I always give people the benefit of the doubt, at least I try to.. I'm not calling names, such as "black version gender of a redneck", using foul language, nor do I imply that people are lying, and most important to me, I have a DEEP respect for People that are older and wiser than myself... Here's the truth, and by the way thanks, for showing your TRUE colors and character, regarding the ball of yarn and kitty litter comment, typical and predictable, why am I NOT surprised, but anyway, I am not going anywhere, you are not going anywhere, I have a right to be here, so do you. If and when I don't like something that's being said I will continue to speak out, just as yourself.... Learn how to talk TO people and not AT them, and perhaps people would feel more freely and comfortable to tell their story!!! There is room for improvement in ALL of us, and I hate to tell you this, but that includes you as well, you could have behaved in a more appropiate manner, even if you NEVER will admit it.. Here's to the TRUTH!!!! godiva

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  8.   Scoff/Sarah says:
    Posted: 19 Sep 09

    Advice from an ol'man Your message rings true, but your delivery system really is a turn off so your true thoughts and ideas don't make it through. As in my case I was so wrapped in the emotional aspect of my mine and Sarah expierences that I felt my true message was lost. My comfort level was at the bottom, as my intent is not to mis-lead. Being rather candid put me where I was more comfortable, and believe me My Sweet Sarah is rather protective, of our relationship, and for that matter she is not tolerant of judgemental people. I'll stop now Sarah often complains I get too much of that Greek philosophy going, can't help it being half Greek. Take Care Scoff always remember advice is exactly worth what you paid for it lololo

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  9.   85kguy says:
    Posted: 19 Sep 09

    "My version of 85kguy taking a seat on the bus." I will not be slandered while I take my seat Godiva or anyone else. It is a blog. I have a right to respond just as those stellar ladies in 1944 and 1952 had a right to sit in available seats on those buses. Scoff said I had an excellent grasp of what he was conveying. He thanked me. Some black version of a gender redneck is disgusted that I have a seat on the bus. She thinks it should go to someone that she finds more (plug in some code word for bigotry). Sound familiar. It should, history can repeat itself in many forms. Continue the autobiograhy please. PS: I have asked not to be bothered with insults while I post responses any more (noname).

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  10.   Scoff/Sarah says:
    Posted: 19 Sep 09

    Again thank all of you, I just have few hours before by grand daughters get here, so I thought I would continue with a little more, in short burst as to my pledge to keep things a little shorter. I left off where we had our heated exchange, most of the heat on my part. As I walked off I had made up my mind I had no intention of going in that directions, getting involed with a white boy was not for me. Feeling better now that I had put an end to this whole flirting and thinking about some white boy, or so I thought. Saturday morning, my Father had to make a trip to town, to the hardware store, well my Mother didn't want to go, so she made a list for some things she needed at the grocery store. Instructing me and my older sister Ann to have my Dad drop us off and get the groceries while he goes to the hardware store. Really nothing out of the ordinary, we had done very often in the past. Dad drops us off and as we start to enter the store who should show up but Scoff, with a list in his hand for things to pick up for his Mother. At first I planned not to even acknowledge him, seeing me he smiled as he greeted me with how are you today Sarah, Ann cocked her eye brows looked at me as she questioned me how do you know that boy? I didn't answer at first and made her ask me again, which she did with a little more force this time. How do know that white boy, and why does he know your name. Penned up I had to answer her this time, I tried to make my answer seem indifferent as possible, as I stated oh he works at the truck farm with me. Ann went on to rave do you know who he is, he's the boy that always in the paper about playing football and baseball. Ann went on oh he is so good looking, Sarah and very polite for a white boy, thats first white boy that has ever spoken to us or you. I ended the conversation on that topic with a so what let's get this list filled before Dad gets back. In the store as could be expected he bumped into him several times going up and down the asiles. Each time we ran into each other he would laugh and say well Sarah I'm following you or are you following me. Still trying to play the it's over game I just shrugged my shoulders and continued on, Ann finally said your not very friendly today, he seems like a nice person, to which I replied for a white boy I guess he is okay. Luck would have it we ended up in the check out line about the same time, Scoff in front and Ann and myself behind him, turning Scoff looked at Ann commenting to her you have got to be Sarah's sister you two look too much alike not to be. Ann laughed, and yes I'm the friendly one, Scoff just laughed oh Sarah can talk when she wants to. ( to my knowledge this first time Ann had ever talked to a white boy our age). Turning Scoff began checking out and I'll be damned I felt my attitude melting, which really ticked me off me as I wanted to be over this complex affair. Turning before he left he mouthed the words still mad shaking my head no I waved my hand as I mouthed the words back go on, breaking out into a smile. Damn it charmed again, needless to say you can guess where my thoughts were the rest of the week end. Ann didn't help the situation as any time we were alone she wanted to know about that white boy that knew my name, she knew better than to mention it around our parents, just an unspoken rule. Now by Sunday evening I missed him, hated him , wanted to see him, never wanted to see him again, tell him I was sorry for what I said, no tell him I meant every word of it. I was just one confused 16 old with a major crush on a white boy. So like Scoff said in the end think about it and see what Monday brings. Which I did and by Monday morning I was no better off. Luv to my friends Sarah

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  11.   85kguy says:
    Posted: 19 Sep 09

    Oh Godiva, This is a TRUE STORY. They can tell it without your influences. You are sort of leading the witness testimony. Example: Scoff, no person has the right to JUDGE you according to the decision’s that you have made in your life, about your life, and the lives of the people that you love and I think judging a person’s decision’s about their life is in poor taste, disrespectful, tacky, irresponsible, and insulting!!! Then to add insult to injury by attempting to place a label on your character...., FROM 85kguy: Stop putting your twist on things. You are diverting the true story to what appeals to you before the next edition hits the stands. Your comments are changing what will be heard. Part of history is facing up to scrutiny for what you did and did not do if you are a party to that history. History is not your pet to cuddle and give it a saucer of milk every day (which ladies want to do). Let the story be told, You did not help history with your slant on comments. Scoff Confessed to not "manning up" he was being truthful. He made that testimony part of history. It was not a truth that you wanted to here Godiva and you could not handle it. So, you began to attack me because Scoff was truthful. Let us know now Godiva. Do you want the truth (and to hear it no matter where it leads) or do you need a ball of yarn, kitty litter box story. Why not show some character yourself. Let the truth come what may. I want this to be the end of hearing from you personally toward me.

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  12.   85kguy says:
    Posted: 19 Sep 09

    From Last Week Sarah, Are they asking you to do the same? I will accept Scoff and Sarah if they promote on this blog that those in IR relationships today should not stay in the shadows! What about it Sarah? Do you think those younger today should make an oasis? Has nothing changed? Maybe things have changed, but just some. Scoff did not see me as a threat. He praised my grasp of what he was trying to convey and broadcast. The story is about two lovers on an oasis in Alabama. Possibly S. Alabama close to Columbus and possibly away from Mobile. I would like to where is the setting? I think of Bama-GA line or Mobile because you are retired. I think of military installations and civil service.

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  13.   godiva61 says:
    Posted: 19 Sep 09

    SEWilde, I also want to say "hello" to you as well, and apologize to you for not acknowledging you the other day when you mentioned me. I'm not sure as to why you "thanked" me, but nevertheless, you are welcome!! You are a interesting woman, and a decent woman, I like that in a girl(woman). I have seen too many women who sometimes put down other women unjustly and I think on so many levels, it's more devestating than when men do it. So when I see and know of women who is trying to suceed and doing it with grace and integrity, I have to applaud them, I want to encourage them... There are many good, and decent women and MEN for that matter, who need to be applauded, and encouraged, but unfortunately, they tend to get just the opposite, and that's a shame. I'm praying for the day when we as a PEOPLE, will get so sick and tired of being downtroddened, and mistreating each other!!!!! I may not ever see this to the degree that I want, but I will go to my grave kicking and fighting, not to be a part of the problem.. Thank you for the Rosa Parks comment.. Also I would like to add, something that I learned from my elders and later on researched for myself. Rosa Parks was NOT the first woman who refused to give up her seat.. There was a mother of two children, Irene Morgan who refused in to give up her seat in 1944.. Then there was Ms. Sara Keys, a WAC who did the exact same thing in 1952... Last but not least, Ms. Claudette Colvin refused to give up her seat in 1955, prior to Mrs. Park, however since Claudette became pregnant after her arrest, she wasn't married, and the rumor was that she was pregnant by a much older MARRIED man, the NAACP did not persue her case for fear that the her reputation was a reputable face for the civil rights cause.... Of course we don't hear much about these women in the history books, so much for books being the only source of information.. Stay strong and keep your feet planted on the ROCK!! love godiva

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  14.   godiva61 says:
    Posted: 19 Sep 09

    Scoff/Sarah, Just wanted to say "hello" before heading out for the rest of the day... Scoff, no person has the right to JUDGE you according to the decision's that you have made in your life, about your life, and the lives of the people that you love and I think judging a person's decision's about their life is in poor taste, disrespectful, tacky, irresponsible, and insulting!!! Then to add insult to injury by attempting to place a label on your character, is not a DECENT thing to do!!! Since History is the study of the past, then one can conclude that their are many "stories" from ALL people, these "stories" then becomes a part of "History".. Some of the greatest Historian's in my life, were my 105yr old grandmother, the few of here friends who did not live as long as she did, and of course my family, I learned more from them than any book could ever teach me... I thank God for the family that I was so blessed to have and still have, a solid and loving family is the foundation to having sucessful, loving, and respectful relationship(s) with ALL people!! Sarah, please don't be too mad at Scoff!!! I think he was somewhat BULLIED into a corner.. Kiss and makeup, then kiss again and makeup some more... I want Scoff to be in a good mood when I come for dinner and wine(smile). Keep telling your story!!! love godiva

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  15.   Scoff/Sarah says:
    Posted: 19 Sep 09

    Ms. SEWilde; Thank you so much for your support, and thats exactly as I was very irrated with Scoff. We did what we had to do, we made our own little world for a short time. We knew it was not real, I will say it made me a far better person than I would of been with out it. I truly Luv you ladies Godiva, SEWilde, Big eyes, tatted, San Antonia as for the guys let us have our love stories,lolo Luv Sarah

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  16.   Scoff/Sarah says:
    Posted: 19 Sep 09

    Okay I've cooled down and made my amends with Scoff,that I will explain later. Back to where I was going, the remark about me looking sexy, when we havn't even kissed,I took as a suggestion, that I wanted sex or something. Because I'am a colored girl I would jump at the chance to be with a white boy. By that evening, with all the previous thoughts reaching the boiling point, I met Scoff. Sitting down on a stack of crates, Scoff started the conversation off with Sarah what have you got planned for the week end? Controling my emotions (anger), I stated the first item on my list is to get one thing straight. Okay Sarah what that might be, I can tell that something is really bothering you replied Scoff. Pausing for what seemed like for ever, I finally opened up, Scoff I didn't like the idea of you indicating that I looked sexy, you don't know me that well. If you think just because your white and I'm a colored girl that I'm going drop my pants for you in a heart beat your wrong and mean dead wrong. So after you have a little summer fun with a colored girl you can run back to your white buddies and brag about hey I did a colored girl this summer. Whoa stop, what the hell are you talking about Sarah, thats not what I'm about, and I know damn well that your not about that either, Sarah I like you as a person I enjoy your conversations, your ideas just you, Scoff very flustered explained. By now we were going into a full blown exchange,with me going into another tirade. White boy don't try that slick a-- charm on me, take it down the road, and use it on one of those lilly white girls. I can see what happened next just as clear as if it was in the last hour. Scoff waving both hands in the air calmly saying stop whoa stop take a deep breath, stop calm down, now look at me, just listen taking both my hands looking into my eyes he began. Sarah your angry at me, at your self, or maybe just the whole world, and thats okay. Before either one of us say something we don't really mean lets go our seperate ways this evening. Think about it over the week end and see what Monday brings. Before we part I want you know I think about you more than I should, although we have really just met, I know I like you. Now if you don't feel the same I can live that, I can perfectly understand why. Stunned and alot calmer now, I was like wow, I'll just let this whole affair go my the wayside and be done with it, I mumbled something to the affect okay, okay, I just wanted you to know how I see things, let go of my hands I got to go. Scoff with a big smile added damn I think your even sexier when your mad. Disarmed, I laughed as I blurted just shut up you,big white a--. I stomped off as only a woman can do when she is mad or angry. Luv you all Sarah

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  17.   SEWilde says:
    Posted: 19 Sep 09

    Scoff/Sarah, Your experienced is your experience. There is no correlation between what Rosa Parks suffered versus what you suffered. What's the point of the comparison? Your suffering was your suffering. Just because someone else considered you to be a "defeated spirit of the day" doesn't make it so. That's their opinion. You lived your life, they didn't. I don't think this was a contest of who suffered more than another. There is no comparison. And Scoff, I hope you are not too hard on yourself because you didn't marry your teenage love. Just because you made the decisions you made more than 40 years ago, does not make you less a man. You both did what you could do, considering your circumstances, in the times you were born and raised in. You are still together today, and that alone is a testament of your love. Your story, is your story, whether anyone else, understands, believes, or accepts it or not, does not matter. Continue your story - do not let anyone discourage you. Live your lives as only you can live it. Scoff, Try not to let anyone put a guilt trip on you, trying to make you feel guilty with ghosts of the past. You didn't own slaves. You love who you love. Take care of each other. I look forward to the next installment. SE

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  18.   85kguy says:
    Posted: 19 Sep 09

    Hello Sarah, Go easy on my man Scoff. Why? King Solomon told the two mothers that he would cut the baby in half and give a half to each mother. One mother agreed willingly, the other begged the king to spare the baby, to let the other mother have him. From this the king knew that the mother who begged him to save the baby was the true mother, and thus gave the baby to her. Scoff has shown this type of love for you!!

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  19.   Ichibod says:
    Posted: 19 Sep 09

    Godiva, Very nice, Sis!

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  20.   85kguy says:
    Posted: 18 Sep 09

    Hey Godiva, Scoff gave me an excellent and thanked me!! I am busy trying to create a better solar light solution for the free world right now. I did take time out to read your blog response twice. Here is a briefer barb by me on myself: 85kGuy is great, 85kGuy is good. Let us thank 85kGuy for our food. By 85kGuy's hands we all are fed. Give us 85kguy our daily bread. LMAO at myself

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  21.   SEWilde says:
    Posted: 18 Sep 09

    Scoff/Sarah, I would agree with you that "defeated spirits" does sound rather harsh. Please keep telling your story. I for one, want to hear it. SE

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  22.   Scoff/Sarah says:
    Posted: 18 Sep 09

    First I have an issue as to what Scoff had just posted, that we will settle in private. As I had mentioned earlier an event and the advice from one my co-workers had been runnig through my mind. I can't remember exactly not to the date but it was a Friday. At lunch we had our routine down to an art, chit chat, wait until al the others had started to resume work then have a few moments to ourselves. In a very playful mood Scoff joked about how sexy I looked today, and that he could hardly wait to meet me after work. At this point we had still not even kissed, for what ever reason this just did not sound right to me. Thinking about the advice my co-worker Rose had given me kept rushing to the front of my thoughts. Sexy can't wait to meet me today, is that what he wants from me. The more I dwelled on it the madder I became, the more insulted I felt. My the end of the day I was hot (like a mad hot)thinking okay white boy, I'll meet you and your not going to like what I have to say. I said I would keep this espiodes a little short Bless all of you Sarah

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  23.   godiva61 says:
    Posted: 18 Sep 09

    85kguy, Thank you for waking us up this morning.. We could have died last night in our sleep, but because you are so powerful and merciful, you allowed some of us to wake up this morning, Thank you! Thank you for putting that beautiful sun in the sky this morning, I don't know what time you actually did it, but I know you had your hand it, Thank you! I want to personally thank you and tell you that I am eternally grateful for every blessing that you have bestowed upon my life.. Thank you for the blood that runs through my veins, thank you for my heartbeat, thank you for the use of my limbs, and my eyesight, thank you for the roof over my head and the food on my table.. You are so merciful and generous in spite of my flaws, Thank you!! Thank you for stopping by the Emergency Room last night, comforting and sparing the 84 yr old man, who was robbed and beaten severely, and even though he was physically hurting, your presence in his life made such a difference, because he still managed a faint smile in spite of his pain, and his main concern was not of himself, but of his poodle that was home alone.. It's amazing to see you at work, you are awesome!!!! Thank you for pointing out and setting the record straight about the state of Alabama, not loving us, we did not know this... We were under the impression, that the being unloved and not valued as human beings was the mindset of every state in the union, not just Alabama... I'm glad that you cleared that up, I know I said it before, but I feel the need to reiterate once again, YOU ARE AWESOME! Thank you for opening our eyes in regards to the past and pointing out the actual facts.. I'm in AWE of your knowledge and expertise about race relations and relationships in the 60's and you never had to refrence to a book, simply amazing!!! If only the people that are older than yourself, who actually lived through those turbelent times, would just sit back, say nothing and let you educate us, then we would ALL would know the Gospel Truth about the actual facts! What the hell, YOU ARE AWESOME!!! Thank you ever so much for showing us the correct way on who we should accept, and why, especially those in a IR relationship, I was wondering how to make that type of decision!!! Last but not least, I appreciate your leadership by example in treating ALL people in the manner in which you want to be treated, even when you are skeptical, and doubtful, especially the people that are somewhat older than you.... The AUDACITY of our ELDERS, to expect a certain amount of decency, and respect from the generation of us, who came after them!!! I wonder why you have allowed them to still be here???? The next time my 86yr old mother speaks of the past, and I don't fully understand, I won't allow her to continue to speak, I'll just find a subtle way of calling her a liar!!! YOU ARE AWESOME!!! godiva

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  24.   Scoff/Sarah says:
    Posted: 18 Sep 09

    Mr. 85k Very well defined, if any one has grasped my intent to post on this blog you have an excellent handle of what I wish to impart to my fellow bloggers. Defeated spirts sounds rather harsh, but I can not find a gentler term to put on that period in my life. In more modern day terms, I didn't man up. This caused me some mental anguish at times in my life, always in the depth of my soul, I have to wonder what if? Today Sarah and I discuss this topic frequently, true maybe we are still old fashion, as we let the ghost of the past haunt us. We have our reasons for doing what we do now, some might say excuses, I feel like it is for love of that special person, I want her happy and will never wish her to have to decide between me or her family. A Big thank You Scoff

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  25.   Laurelton says:
    Posted: 18 Sep 09

    WHOA (Throwing drink down). Tatt you can have a problem with me. How can you include all minority men in your statement? I called you loose booty because you made up a story that AZ wanted you. Then he said "na that wasn't the case". Those are the facts. Then you went on a tirade about not wanting "white men" in the room anyway because they were nothing to look at. After the rejection you said all this. Do not get self righteous on this blog. (pulling tatt dress) Don't be mad because white men are not falling to your feet. You was jealous of Bigeyes, you don't say one word to her. You are a selfish young woman. Calling people mentally dead. Why because they don't think like you? They don't spend every waking moment looking for a man because they are lonely. "IT PUTS THE LOTION ON ITS SKIN AND DOES IT WHEN ITS TOLD" You need more sex in your life that is why your rambling the way you are. Anytime a black woman is aggravated and "snippy" she needs sex. Thank you

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  26.   85kguy says:
    Posted: 18 Sep 09

    FACT: Scoff and Sarah were defeated spirits of their day. They never married (their own testimony). Others did marry and faced discrimination, threats, and even death. If they are real then they (Scoff and Sarah) are victims. As such they have my sympathy. However; Rosa Parks stepped up. She was not a defeated spirit. FACT: Scoff and Sarah will never publicly have a marriage or relationship, even though times have changed (their testimony). Are they asking you to do the same. I will accept Scoff and Sarah if they promote on this blog that those in IR relationships today should not stay in the shadows like defeated spirits.

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  27.   85kguy says:
    Posted: 18 Sep 09

    The past is the past. I praise and support the current and present in IR relationships of all types. I have shown that with young Dominique. It is the desire to portray the past in a different light that I scrutinize. When a narrative goes back to the 50s and 60s and claims to be real history while portraying an "against the grain of history" account. Only defeated spirits loved the powerful colonial settlers while their native american mothers, fathers, sisters, and brothers were marched off on the native american "trail of tears" to Oklahoma. Only defeated spirits loved them while smallpox was put in blankets given to those in Oklahoma and at other reservation sites. Talk of Pocahontas glazes over a lot of history. In our black american past it was the segregated and oppressed who marched, protested, and died to bring about change for everyone. Defeated spirits in 50s and 60s and earlier IR relationships DID NOTHING IN ALABAMA OR ELSEWHERE BUT TURN A BLIND EYE TO THE WRONGS AND INJUSTICES OF THEIR DAY. If it's a modern love and IR then I am cool. Just don't try to give me some black disney version of Pocohontas.

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  28.   bigeyes31 says:
    Posted: 18 Sep 09

    e-dub Wow you are so right. It starts a little at a time. I know an apology doesn't mean much in the wake of the inhumanity that occurred.I hurt for you, I really do. The loss of your loved one,I wish you much peace , love and healing. I literally cry when viewing or reading anything about the holocaust. I cry because I'm hurt that we as human beings could do that to each other. I don't care what race , religion you are I don't want to see anyone in pain and suffering or killed for hatred's sake. Please I meant no harm to you. You are right I will look for the small things that make a difference like a smile,sharing an umbrella....and you sharing your thoughts with me. I want you to know I valued this. Peace and blessings to you shalom

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  29. Posted: 18 Sep 09

    And see we have more of the same rhetoric.... And whilst I respect 85k and his views.....and even admire his writing style and historical POV...I am just tired of people in here acting like they have walked in every pair of shoes that have ever existed. It's just plain ridiculous and utterly impossible. You know what .....I am going to get REALLY REAL right here. I am SOOOOOOO PHUCKING tired of some men of color (i.e. Black and Latino) acting like they really are the only ones that have a right to date IR. Some of the tired shit I hear to defend this madness......references to how they used to get hung and beat (yes it happened.....but NOT TO YOU PERSONALLY) for even looking at a white woman so now they are taking "full advantage of their opportunities". Some rant and rave at how could a woman of color be "with the oppressor" when THEY ARE NOW THE ONES TRYING TO "SHACKLE" BLACK WOMEN TO A BACKWARD PHILOSOPHY.....("what's good for the goose ISN'T good for the dayum gander"). BULLSHYT, BULLSHYT, BULLSHYT AND MORE BULLSHYT. You know personally I don't care how anyone sees me.....but it just annoys the hell out of me when I SEE MENTALLY DEAD SHEEPLE.....who WILL go the way of the dayum dinosaur, try and fight there way out of a corner using tired azz tactics. AND NO you don't have to agree with everything I believe to make me happy....JUST SHUT YER DAYUM YAP IF YOU HAVE NOTHING POSITIVE OR PROGRESSIVE TO SAY...some of you are even hurting your OWN "causes" with your "diarrhea". And FYI, JUST BECAUSE YOU POINT YOUR FINGER FOREWARD OR UP (or more likely the next person) THAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT IS WHERE YOU ARE GOING (OR WHO YOU ARE BETTER THAN). as always Peace and Blessings tatted2death

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  30. Posted: 18 Sep 09

    Let's clear the effing field of all the horsepucky..... I AM THE WOMAN that l.Queens falsely accused of being a "loose booty"......he bases his allegation on something that NEVER happened (assuming that I sent a man pictures of my body....that is taking the "joke" too far, bruh).....THIS IS HOW THIS MAN OBVIOUSLY LIVES THE REST OF HIS LIFE......He makes up stuff and builds his world around it.....or he twists things until they fit into his neat little racial box. I personally have nothing left to say to him......seeing as how he is still trying to perpetuate misconceptions about me. But it REALLY needs to be driven home that this dude is an effing cartoon character and needs to be appreciated as such. Any attempt at a real discussion with him will quickly turn into a "bitch-session" and all that will come of it is more demonizing of the black woman/sanctifing of the black man........WHO REALLY WANTS TO HEAR ALL THAT SHIT......OVER AND OVER AGAIN?!?!?! (I'll be your Huckleberry West....LOL). This individual expresses that the chances are slim to none that a white man would ever want a black woman for anything other than sex.....and in the same breathe he also says that black women basically DESERVE to be used in the this manner since they are nothing more than common abusers and users. While he might try to rephrase it now.....these are things he has portrayed time and time again. AND the only reason he finally made comments about the "stories" (real and fictional) circulating in here is because they were basically "stealing his thunder". And then he even has the never to tell someone how to go about publicizing anything in here. THAT IS ALL HE HAS EVER BEEN ABOUT.....(newsflash: posting a link to your blog IS using this site to publicize your own.....ESPECIALLY when you spout the same stuff in both places.) I am just so tired of the same old diarrhea of the brain that is spewed........THE WHOLE THING MUST BE A JOKE.....the punchline of which I refuse to get. Carry on......and know that just because the white men don't frequent this place (hell, if I was one I probably wouldn't either...this place is rarely friendly to ANYONE for that matter) does NOT mean they don't have love for the black women. The sabotage has worked in only in the sense that the white men have chosen to be less "public" (I am a private person anyway.....so this works for me...lol)......essentially creating more of a close bond.....THANKS to the cartoon character....lol. Peace and Blessings tatted2death

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  31.   85kguy says:
    Posted: 18 Sep 09

    SABeauty White Bama Never Loved Y'all: Having white ancestors and looking at a family portrait and seeing white and black together are two different things. I know photography was around since slavery and the civil war. I know that white ancestors are not in pictures and never were. 1) Historically speaking interracial relationships were actually illegal in 16 states until 1967. More recently a push was made by the NAACP to repeal the law against miscegenation in Alabama, which is the last of the states to keep this law on the books. 2) Tuesday, In remembrance of the anniversary, the 16th Street Baptist Church tolled bells at 10:22am, the time of the bombing September 15th, 1963. Birmingham, AL 3)The Tuskegee syphilis experiment[1] (also known as the Tuskegee syphilis study or Public Health Service syphilis study) was a clinical study conducted between 1932 and 1972 in Tuskegee, Alabama, by the U.S. Public Health Service. Investigators recruited 399 impoverished African-American sharecroppers with syphilis for research related to the natural progression of the untreated disease, in hopes of justifying treatment programs for blacks.[2] The 40-year study was controversial for reasons related to ethical standards, primarily because researchers failed to treat patients appropriately after the 1940s validation of penicillin as an effective cure for the disease.

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  32.   e-dub says:
    Posted: 18 Sep 09

    BigEyes Redemption is a slippery subject and I agree admitting or knowing the wrong is first step. The problem, I have that most people spend their time searching for the wrong redemption. I’ve had people try to hit me over the head with the racist stick because they couldn’t win the argument. So they cried racism to shut me up. It’s the little kindness that make the difference. A young white man giving up his seat on the bus to an elderly black man, holding the door open a young woman. It’s the small personal kindness that count. As a person, who had family die in the concentration camps big apologies from the German or American government mean diddly squat to me. (I don’t remember the US government apologizing for the holocaust nor should they but I’m in no position to argue you the point with and I won’t because I suspect, I would lose. Let me tell you what did matter to me: my son and I were returning from shul one day and thug hurled several verbal insults and told us that Hitler should have finished the job. He’s an idiot and potentially a very dangerous idiot but a man ran up to us and asked if we were okay and walked with part way to make sure we were okay. That means a lot. Don’t look for the big apology because invariably it will be handled in a ham fisted way and piss off at least half the country. Look for the little kindness because they are the real gold nuggets. PS: jewish by religion (although, I’m not very good at that aspect) and by that famous strain of Norwegian Jews. (Yes, I can get a sun burn under a sixty watt bulb) I don’t care if a person is a racist; I do care if some little punk wraps uses a rights his little racial slurs on a piece of paper and then wrapped the paper around a rock and then through my window. If he’d kept his racism at home that would have been fine by me when he brought it into my world – you’ve got a fight on your hands. Climbing down off my soap box. Lots of love—take care everyone.

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  33.   bigeyes31 says:
    Posted: 18 Sep 09

    e-dub Look...man, it's like this(talking like one of my five brothers,LOL)I'm a firm believer in admitting when you are wrong as being the first step to redemption. One can't right a wrong without admitting that they have done wrong ok, that's first off.I noticed you said you are jewish I don't know if that's by religion , ethnicity or both but in the bible, the first thing the Israelites had to do to regain right relationship with God was to admit wrong doing. Only then after repenting(admitting wrong and then turning from that wrong)was the relationship repaired. "America" has apologized to every other race that it has wronged. The Japanese for being placed in internment camps, the native americans for the taking of their land(although barely), the jewish people for not actng sooner in WWII and the holocaust. Now, I'm not trying to reference whether you believe in christianity , God or the bible neither am I attacking your faith or you being jewish. Please by no means be offended. I'm simply trying to use one of the oldest examples of "relationship"that I know. You see that's why there will always be tension between blacks and whites in this country because "America" won't acknowledge and rectify properly the relationship. You spoke of white guilt. One of the benefits of redemption and "righting" a relationship is absolving of guilt. White guilt doesn't even have to exist if the right thing were done. I hope you can try to see where I'm trying to go. Peace

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  34.   bigeyes31 says:
    Posted: 18 Sep 09

    No problem. I feel that this is the answer to racism in this nation, open honest dialogue with each other about race, feelings of distrust and stereotypes. Peace

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  35.   Sen says:
    Posted: 18 Sep 09

    I can believe that bigeyes. About a year ago I wasn't really aware of race. I mean, not to any large extent. I get approached by guys of all races and I always just thought that was 'normal' but I see now that when there's a whole history of racial issues then it's not always possible. I would date anyone who has a similar background to me and is compatible with me. This is a rather limited pool. I don't mind that though. More recently I started reading comments on YouTube and I became quite disturbed about the fact that racial slurs were being slung left, right & center for no reason at all. It made me feel sick to my stomach. I can't even look at comments anymore. With the whole Kanye West thing, why should the fact that he's black matter? Who else behaves like that? No one. I just find the whole deal puzzling. I'm a 26 year old black chick and I've really never dealt with racism. The first time I heard the n-word was when I was 12 and I didn't even know what it meant. I don't mean to be insulting to you guys, so I hope it's not coming across that way. I'm terribly inarticulate. I apologize for this mega long post. Thank you bigeyes for taking the time to fill me in a little more on things. It's much appreciated.

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  36.   e-dub says:
    Posted: 18 Sep 09

    Of course racism exists but and black people have been receiving end of the worse of it. I would contend that’s an incontrovertible fact but I know a few idiots who would argue the point. However, it is important to make distinctions. I can’t speak to public response to Kayne because I refuse to associate let race become the focus and avoid those who a race-centric. I don’t discriminate on the basis of skin color and minimize my association with those who do. (A nice rack or butt is a horse of a different color ) The question is can the person grow beyond racism and preconceived notions they’ve been brought. Can they apply the scientific method to the people they meet as they go through life. If a person was brought up in a racist (black/white or indifferent) environment, however, if that person meets black/white or indifferent and refuses to learn they’re preconceived notions aren’t accurate or worse gets pissed off because you fail to live down to their preconceived notions – I’ve got no sympathy for you. We’re all strangers in a world we didn’t create and the game is fixed but that’s no reason not play. I know people will hold it against me because I’m Jewish, white and a race traitor married to a black woman. (We’re pretty much public enemy # 1 as far as the Klan in concerned.) That just means you’ve got to work a little harder to get ahead in life. I’ve lost a job because, I was going to marry that black woman so what I’d rather be with her any day of the week.

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  37.   bigeyes31 says:
    Posted: 18 Sep 09

    @SEN Yes, in America everything is colored ,pun intended, by race. It's the past, the present and likey the future of this country. I invite you to go to other blogs and see how many times his(Kanye's) race has been brought up and insulted with all kinds of racial slurs and then you'll see just how much race has to with everything here. Making black people seem paranoid about how deep racism ran, was the south's best trick. People didn't believe blacks here about the lynchings and cross burnings. No one in other parts of the country and the world believed what happened on the Edmund Pettus bridge in Selma until they saw the video footage. So I say it again, yes race is everything in this country.

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  38.   jazzy says:
    Posted: 18 Sep 09

    I will keep this short and simple for everyone!! Just imagine if God created us all with no sight to see, but only ears to hear, then race would not be an issue. We would all love based on conversation, feelings and soul connection. Just try to think of dating in that sense; whether outside your race or the same race. Skin is just a color, we all bleed RED.

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  39.   e-dub says:
    Posted: 18 Sep 09

    Picking up the question: why do some white men love black woman. Speaking only for myself, I love my wife (Yes, she is black) because when I’m with her I feel better about myself. She has made me into a better person (albeit somewhat unwillingly). If that’s not enough reason, I don’t know what is. I will speak to why white people won’t take a plea to racism because connotation is that makes you a robe wearing Klan member. I know plenty of good solid citizens who vote the “right” way meaning they’re flaming libs because of misplaced white guilt. (Just another way to say racism in my opinion.) There is a big difference between 1) someone who doesn’t want to live around black people and 2)hood wearing, cross burning S-O-B and when say racism banner is waved it just ends the conversation. 1) Are just welling meaning idiots usually 2) should be shot on sight under the legal theory of humanous degenerous just like any other terrorist.

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  40.   Laurelton says:
    Posted: 18 Sep 09

    Dear SEWilde I call some black women loose booty and nappy head. Some come across that way. If you are throwing your body at men on this board and happen to get rejected. Then I will call you a loose booty. I have only called one woman that. As for Scoff and Sara, I didn't really differentiate the two of you. That is what happens when people copy and paste novels. Scoff and Sara is saying their story. Then you come along and mention your book. There is a bunch of confusion here. You mentioned full armor of god. Why you need the full armor of god. You act like I don't go to church. I think it is rather self serving to write bible scripture if you are not completely living up to that lifestyle. For example, sleeping with various white men with no ring on your finger. That is why I was sort of troubled by the scripture passage. Only you know you if you truly live a godly lifestyle. You said this "For the record, Yes, I did. In my reply to Scoff/Sarah of 9-14-09, I state, “Ironically, there are similarities between your life history, and my fiction “Flames of Passion.” Especially since it’s told from both his and her perspective.” As a casual observer. I would think Scoff and Sara is writing the book. This is something as a author you don't want to happen. You want "casual" observes to figure out right away who is writing what. It doesn't help there is "similarities". It just seems like you are trying to ride off the attention of Scoff and Sara. You mention deragtory names called. Here is some example of what you said Mrs Hypocrite. "I was not aware that you are the Chief Spokesman, Dreaded Overseer, and Blog Police for the site," " I want to hear the story of Scoff and Sarah, and I hope they are not intimidated by your vile, disrespectful comments." This is what I don't understand. 85kguy questions things like I do. He doesn't get the lecture from you. It is almost like you are a trained puppy of some sort. You are hogging the board for promotional purposes than trying to make me look the bad guy. Nobody asked if your book went to a publisher. To be honest with you, you don't seem to give a damn about Scoff and Sara. If you did, you wouldn't be "cross promoting your book" while they tell THEIR STORY. That is just plain disrespect. I answered all your questions as to why I am on this blog. It has topics so I jump in them. Some of the topics are broad. It's not pretzel logic. Many black men have voiced their opinion. I don't see you saying anything about it. I think the Scoff and Sara might be true. I just think they left some nasty racial experiences out. You mentioned the first interracial marriage. That's funny black men got hung for being with a white woman. A black woman marrying a Jew. Yea that was progress lol. The only thing you got right is this forum is not your personal PR campaign for your book. If you got a website post it and let people decide. How disrespectful is that to tell people 'SCROLL" if you don't like what I am doing. WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!

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  41.   SEWilde says:
    Posted: 18 Sep 09

    Ms. Godiva, Scoff/Sarah, SanAntonioBeauty – thank you all for being there. Mr. Queens, I have nothing against you responding to a comment, but I want you to have accurate information, in order to make an factual statement, and not just spewing vitriol regarding what you ‘think’ the situation is. Just want to clear the air. Out of curiosity, you say I attacked you, with what? The full armour of God? There were no accusations on my part. No name calling – no character assassination. So then, how did I attack you? By asking you questions? (which by the way, you never did answer) And again, you are misinformed when you say, “For the record, you never told people it was a work of fiction.” For the record, Yes, I did. In my reply to Scoff/Sarah of 9-14-09, I state, “Ironically, there are similarities between your life history, and my fiction “Flames of Passion.” Especially since it’s told from both his and her perspective.” And, no, I am not mad at you, just frustrated, that you’re answering comments based on wrong information. Then you want to defend your position, on wrong information. You attempted to answer the question I asked, when you said, “You asked me why I was on this blog? There is black men other than me on this blog. Why don’t you ask them? I know you won’t. I got nothing against anybody so why can’t I come here? You seem to have issues with black men.” You immediately turned the question around. First of all, you never did answer the question, and I have no qualms about you coming here, but you did accuse me by saying, “You seem to have issues with black men.” What does my initial question about, why are you on this blog, have anything to do with the comment you made of me having, “issues with black men.” Why do you say that? I’m not accusing you of anything. I have only observed you, using derogatory comments aimed at black women, by calling them whores, loose booty, sell outs, nappy headed, etc. I was wondering why, if you had such unkind words for black women, on an IR, “Why do White Men Love Black Women” blog, why then, were you on this site, since most of your comments seem, to me, to desecrate black women. Why do you say those hurtful demeaning things? Why do you behave that way? (Maybe it’s just me, but I would NEVER, refer to black men in that manner, EVER. To me, that’s extremely disrespectful, and I see no reason to ever disrespect anybody, for that matter, especially black men.) I was not asking ‘the other black men,’ who I did not observe to denigrate black women, I only asked you. I do not recall other black men on this site display such hostility for black women, which I am aware of. Otherwise I would have asked them the same question. So, in trying to follow your logic, I just find it curious, you took a question, turned it around, and then came to the conclusion that, “You have a problem with black men.” What? So…because I didn’t ask them, (other black men) the same question I asked you…that somehow I have a problem with black men? Can’t quite follow that pretzel logic. On another note: I have seen beautiful poetry on this site, lengthy, mesmerizing, soul thumping, poetry, that I would like to see in print. I did not notice negative comments regarding that work. Scoff and Sarah, have shared their life history, which I think is fantastic, like I said somewhere, and they lived to tell the tale, in the face of adversity. I have not seen negative comments regarding their work. And, me, in sharing my story, (Yes – albeit a fictional tale) they have asked me to share my words with them. I intend to do do just that. I can’t imagine why someone would intentionally, demean someone else’s creativity. I realize you can say what you want, I don’t have a problem with that. I really see no need for negative comments regarding my creativity, as I am not asking for any comments. I’m not trying to hog the board for promotional purposes, and maybe this is not the forum for that. I’m just sharing my words with people who have asked me to share them, Scoff and Sarah. They asked, I said yes. Why would this cause a problem? If someone can post poetry, and if Scoff and Sarah can share their history, why can’t I share my book with them? Just asking. And for the record, Alice Walker, Pulitzer Prize winning Author of the novel The Color Purple, was an activist during the Civil Rights Movement. In 1965, she met Mel Leventhal, a Jewish Civil Rights Lawyer. They married in 1967 and relocated to Jacksosn, Mississippi. They were the 1st legally married interracial couple in Mississippi. So, yes there was IR love during the Civil Rights Movement. Contrary to popular belief. with much respect and love always, SE

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  42. Posted: 17 Sep 09

    85kguy, you are one of my favorites on this site. I wonder how old you are because some of the evidence you use to determine the truthfulness of Scoff and Sarah's story has to do with what you read or heard, not what you've seen or experienced. I am s 56 year old black woman who's father was born in Dothan, Alabama, a place we visited often as children. My father's family are farmers who have a black side and a white side, that got and still get along like family. My great grandfather was white from Kentucky. He and his twin brother moved to Alabama, acquired land, had slaves. His twin married a white woman and my grandfather married one of his slaves. I did believe he actually legally married my great grandmother until I saw the marriage certificate, myself. I had a crush on a white boy when I was young and on a visit at my grandfather's farm. I spent time with him and no one knew. So I can truly say Scoff and Sarah's story is possible. The trustworthiness doesn't matter, it is still a story I want to hear. Okay my friend?

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  43.   Scoff/Sarah says:
    Posted: 17 Sep 09

    No No this is not a book or intended to ever be a book, I'am truly sorry that I have to keep explaining which leads me to believe that I have mis led some of you. YES it is true and most, would understand if they lived in the area that we grew up in. Again we did not grow up togeather, although we lived in close proxmity, as I stated at one time we had little to no contact, even to the point that I had never said as much two words to a white male in my age group. So unless you want to get an in depth geographic description about the local flora and fauna, coupled with the best of my ability a micro exam of the sco-ecomonic system in place at that exact time period. Please trust me on this. LOLOLO Remember I'm a retired black lady that has plenty of time, to punch on this keyboard. Really if the weather was good I would be working in my flower beds, (I heard that both of you yea old lady that where you need to be, shame on you two lololo) So when we settle all these in depth question I hope to continue, then be out of the way, so the younger ones can take over lololo Luv you two Sarah

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  44.   Laurelton says:
    Posted: 17 Sep 09

    Dear Scoff/Sarah I am an avid reader. Now that you broke down the story better. It seems interesting to me. Truthfully I don't think they had done a love story between a white man and black woman in the south. Can a movie be done off your experience. During this climate in the country, hmm it wouldn't be successful. I remember when "Something New" came out. I went to see the movie. It was a flop in my opinion but I think it did well in DVD sales. I think America is uncomfortable with a serious interracial story involving white men and black women. Some may disagree and that is fine. The Ashton Kutcher movie "Guess who is coming to dinner". The comedy version was successful because Ashton is funny and people "knew" it was a comedy. I think your book could be very interesting. It could even be a movie screenplay. I just think some white people are uncomfortable being demonized in a book or movie. Your book does not come off like that. If you did a movie they would focus more on the nasty things going on then the actual "love" that was developing. Scoff could be the hero in it. The white guy that went against the "institutionalized" racism to be with a black woman. He doesn't even have to be hero. You can show human frailty. I am sure gave into peer pressure back then. So much things were happening during the 1960s. It would interest me to read that book and see how you overcame that. "Monster's Ball" with Halle Berry started off in the right direction than went "left. I don't think anybody ever did a story on interracial relationships in the deep south during the 1960s. I would read your book when its complete.

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  45.   85kguy says:
    Posted: 17 Sep 09

    1. Sara of scoff and sarah is black female 2. Scoff of Scoff and Sarah is white male 3. Parents and friends never saw them together 4. They grew up together 5. They snuck around in segregated rural Alabama has to be a falsehood, towns and rural areas too small for that. 6. Never got caught, punished has got to be a falsehood. All kids get caught 7. Alabama girl black and underaged that had freedom to go out where no one knew where she was in the segrated south is not reality. Has to be a falsehood. 8. Whites attacked black homes with firebombs, churches too. But Sarah had no fear of coming across a white male alone. Gotta be false for that era in time. Maybe Sarah can clarify. Does not mean that she is telling the truth. Any black woman who grew up watching terror and firebombs, even the 4 church girls killed in Atlanta, would be Afro-Centric.

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  46.   Scoff/Sarah says:
    Posted: 17 Sep 09

    Mr. Queens; Now we can have dialogue, about some of your points, First no it is not fiction Second: The comment was made earlier when I started posting, how brave we were. Instantly, I made it clear that we were not brave, in that we may have been in love but in fear of physical harm, as well as mental and emotional truma, we never and I mean never let anyone know what we were doing. I think you made the statement, to the affect you had better not bring no white girl home, my your Father I think. Well the ugly factor on that would of been ten times worst for me or Scoff. In the rural areas the dependence of white and black famlies where more dependent ecomincally on each other so we had slightly more interaction between us. As Ms. Big eyes alluded to earlier, in the large cities the divide was very wide and even today the gap is still their. I feel like the shock to myself and Scoff was that because as much as we were raised different,we still had so much in common. The Algebra referance was an example how we were so seperated that Scoff had no idea that colored schools taught Algebra. When I use the adjective (colored) that was a polite term in use at the time to define black citizens. Previously I stated we never walked down main street on Saturday holding hands, we never went to the Tastee Freeze and shared a Vanilla shake. (Personally I like cherry) lololo Being honest, in my life expierences, this was the best of times and the worst of times, dealing with emotions, that often we have no understanding of, questioning very thought or action the other person we have strong feelings for. Having to sneek around, in defiance of our families,and societies acceptable behavior standards. The good times being with a person, you can talk to confide in, holding hands walking in the moon light. I could go on and on, just being in love at a young age. Exploring new feelings, sharing something specal. What I want to present that this did happen despite all the parameters of families and society, but not with out alot and I mean alot of emotional truama. Thats what I hope to convey, and how we dealt with each and every day. Thank you so much Mr. Queens, Scoff was right he said you are one smart young man, just needed to step back and listen. God Bless you Mr. Queens In my day I wasn't a bad writer, but even on my best day not up to level of Ms. Godiva and Ms. SEWilde. Luv to all Sarah

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  47.   Laurelton says:
    Posted: 17 Sep 09

    LOL Sara I have a sense of humor. I think people take me as being serious all the time. I actually didn't think it would stir up so much controversy. I know some black women are passionate about their romance novels. You have the talent to write. Every author wants some attention good or bad. People need to thank me sometimes. I don't know how people write books for a living. I am real competitive. If my book didn't do well it would "bother me". You got a "buzz". Keep building on it. Get used to critics as an author. I won't be the only one. Oh yea I didn't know it was fiction. Sometimes readers like to know that. Everyone have a nice day. I apologize for the Kanye West profanity. It made me laugh at the time. When said "shit", It was meant to be sarcastic. You can't see sarcasm on the computer.

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  48.   Scoff/Sarah says:
    Posted: 17 Sep 09

    Sarah's Memoir's (Mr. Queens please scroll)just pushing your buttons as my Grandaughter often says, have a little humor for an ol Lady, lololo I will try and keep my post slightly shorter, as a courtesy to those that have no interest. Later today I will resume where I left off. Again a big THANK YOU TO MS GODIVA AND MS SEWILDE, you two ladies have such talent. God Bless all Sarah

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  49.   Scoff/Sarah says:
    Posted: 17 Sep 09

    Mr. Queens; I didn't really want to go in this directions, seeing that your an Alpha male type, who likes to be in control. I noted as the post or blog in general went in a different direction than focusing on you, with you dominating the topic, in an effort to regain what you feel like is the dominate force, opened up with both guns blazing. From what I've seen in the rebuttals to your efforts; you may have to reload, and try again. I do realize that you have a very closed mind, in that a lot of what is said goes right by you. So please use your God given intelligence, which I think you have a great abundance of. Relax, what Sarah and I have to say is worth listening to. Slow down, to quote Ms. SEWilde, we are in the slow lane. Oh by the way Scoff is a nickname, as Sarah mentioned earlier, from my orginal Greek name. This is all I plan to say on this subject, as Ms Godiva, Ms.SeWilde have far better expressed my thoughts and feelings far better than I could of hoped to. Thanks for your time; Scoff

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  50.   Laurelton says:
    Posted: 17 Sep 09

    Dear SEWilde I don't think I responded to you properly. I personally didn't know that you were writing it. I didn't really pay attention. I respect anyone that takes the time and effort to write a book. Your response to me is for several reason, which I understand. For the record, you never told people it was a work of fiction. People tend to believe this is your real life. That might work on Oprah that is all I am saying. Oprah would say "Hercules Hercules" concerning your book not me. I don't fight with people. People respond to each other here and disagree. When I do it, its fighting. Not my fault I have the ability to stand out. You asked me why I was on this blog? There is black men other than me on this blog. Why don't you ask them? I know you won't. I got nothing against anybody so why can't I come here? You seem to have issues with black men. Everybody seeks acceptance. You admitted everything I said you was doing. Ebay and etc, then got the nerve to get mad at me for saying it lol. I will say what I want. You don' own this board for promotion purposes of your book. If you have to question if it is appropriate. Than maybe it is not! For the record people ignore me , disagree. I don't cry over it. Keep promoting your book. I don't have to sit by and not comment.

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