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Why white men love the black woman

Posted by James, 31 Aug

Ever wondered why some white guys, love black women so much?

It seems that being a white male and proclaiming your attraction to black women (not only sexually, but also romantically) may lead to a lot of controversial and dangerous things. Let’s leave the debate of why more black women may be opening themselves up to white guys. The main focus of this debate is: why some white guys are opening themselves to black women. Let’s concentrate on that.

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Most white males don’t feel like they are running short of white women to marry. White males just marry at high rates. So question is: Why black women? The thing is it will not be fair to bundle up black women as one since everyone is their own person… be it in appearance or personality.

However, one thing that a white male friend of mine said… and I let him get away with bundling it all up is: “We love a black woman's confidence, her tenacity and her undeniable achievements in the face of great adversity...᾿ Since this info was coming from a man, there was definitely the mention of the lips, the curves, and that wonderful skin as well.

So what about stereotypes like “black women are either sexually conservative or total sluts?" Many people give so much lip service to interracial dating sites. You would think they have never done it. But those uptight individuals are the ones that spread these stereotypes. What happened to the highly educated black woman? How about the caring, decent and involved black woman?

Probably most white guys and others are confused with the stereotypical trash people spread around and if you are one that falls for such lame ol’ lines, then you sure as hell haven’t dated a black woman.

Bottom line, you don't have to sacrifice who you are for a white guy. They will love you anyway. Just be you and open yourself up… and if you like white guys, some white guy will find you too.

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8097 responses to "Why white men love the black woman"

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  1.   Brookie says:
    Posted: 11 Mar 09

    carib- oh i also dont think that you should say that my statement about mixed children is "unwitting and illiterate, thats my opinion, and its not just my opionion becasue im 16, that has nothing to do with how i feel i want my children to look like

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  2.   Brookie says:
    Posted: 11 Mar 09

    Carib- i am very focused on getting an education right now, but having a boyfriend that i could see myself with for a long time is something that is very important to me. if i cant imagine marring him, why would i date him? and about the mixed children thing, its just a plus for me.

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  3.   WM4the1 says:
    Posted: 10 Mar 09

    I have to admit that I'm simply attracted to the beautiful dark skin. After all, there are hightly educated, intelligent, independent white women too. So for me, all other things being equal, the deciding factore is simply a preference for dark skin color. David

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  4.   Carib says:
    Posted: 10 Mar 09

    @Brookie: Mixed children!!! That was a very unwitting and illiterate statement you made, but then again you're sixteen. Well, I just can't assume all sixteen y/o have the same mindset as you. First, you should be concentrating on getting an education, then you could worry about finding, that loving, charismatic, handsome, respectful, family oriented, intellectual, and trustworthy man, not "OOOOhh, I'm gonna have mixed children". I could careless what my children look like, as long as I find a man that loves me, and respects me (which I think I found), and yes, he's white (by societies standards), Well, actually Cuban/White. He has been there for me during the difficult times and vice versa (we have each others backs). I wouldn't trade him in for the world. He's a good man. @Mocha Cravens: How have you been? Honestly, I can't say, that I understand where you are coming from, but I'm going to make an effort to. I really do hope you get to the bottom of why you feel the way you do. I don't want to get too personal, but did you have a bad experience with white men (not referring to dating), and do you treat men of other races the same way you treat white men. Once again, I'm not trying to coax you into dating white men, I'm just trying to gain understanding. Do you feel people will call you a "sellout"? Do you think you would be "abandoning your race"? Are you afraid of the judging stares you might get? or Do you feel, that white men are racist male chauvinist, who only want you sexually, and could never want you as a wife, a lover, a friend, and a mother to their children? You can't just say "I don't know why I feel this way", their has to be a reason why, and I know you don't want to feel that way. You are a beautiful woman, and you seem to be intelligent and laid back. I don't think you should put yourself in a box; you might pass up a wonderful man.

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  5.   Brookie says:
    Posted: 10 Mar 09

    I was reading through this blog and found the topic to be very interesting considering that i am an african american( i look mixed) teenager who has only had relationships with white guys. i wanted to let my voice be heard as a 16 year old and to say that i agree with alot of the comments posted about how it is hard to find a black guy who likes to do a wide range of activities and who doesnt have that "hood" mentality. yes i know that there are many well educated black men out there but considering my age all the black guys arond me are thinking about there rap carreers. i have alwasy been more attracted to white men then black men, and white guys seem to like me alot to. i think its becasue i am very confident, pretty,smart and have a curvacious figure but i dont fallow the sterotypes that white teens place on black girls. you know the loud, overberaing and agreesive attitute. but that is a little off topic. my family wishes that i would date black guys but i just am not that attracted to them. i recently told my granmother about my new boy and she scoffed at me when i told her that he was white. Again. white guys are just so sexy. idk what is but i also love that i will have gorgous mixed children =]

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  6.   otherbrother says:
    Posted: 10 Mar 09

    Mocha Cravens, Its alright, like you said there are many other racist like you, there is only one reason a intellegent person would be offended that a beautiful person of the opposite sex who happens to be a different color would be offended. That is Racism, so just say I am Racist, it is perfectly fine we can not change that, just be honest about it. No it is not just alright to say something and not expect a return comment, when the lies and deceit flow through this blog it becomes disheartning to read. I served my country for 24 years and still believe as Americans we are spoiled and think we have a right to say anything we want at whatever cost. The truth is that these kind of comments "I can not get over color thing" is very disturbing. If I said that I would be the racist white guy from hell. Thank goodness for for black women like my wife who looks for the love thing and sees love not color. You should wear a sign I like White Guys I really do really I do I just can not get over the fact that your White. So please do not approach me I get offended. Not because I was approached but because I was approached by a White Guy. Nothing personal really I mean your beautiful and inteligent and funny and smart and charming, oh yeah but your White. ARE YOU SERIOUS? I am tired of hearing White's and Blacks tear each other up about dating outside their race. Can't we just all get along? Are we seriously hung up in 2009 about the color of someones skin. I thank the lord for Loving, loving day should be celebrated everyday not just once a year.

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  7.   swirlisok says:
    Posted: 09 Mar 09

    <> To: <> Recently I was given some wholesome advice in regards to my thoughts towards men that fit a certain characteristic that were identical to that of my ex who treated me horribly (abuse was involved). The advice was do not place the label I gave to my ex on all men. I got a bad apple but the whole basket is not filled with bad apples. There are good men and there is my ex. There are black women who respect their men, who honor thier men, thier relationship, thier bedroom and themselves. Not all black women are gold diggers. There are plenty of us who are independent and have very successful jobs. There are black women who are sweet, who do not want nor desire nor would date a controlling, rough, abusive man or a "thug". There are black women who would do the same thing as you did and I hope you find her because she does exist.

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  8.   Newtome says:
    Posted: 04 Mar 09

    Well this seems easy to post - here it goes. I am a white guy, mid-late forties, college educated own my business. I've been widowed for nine months and my wife was white, we where married 22 years. I grew up in the south US. Recently, I had a business trip to Asia for a week. I went on the trip looking forward to experiencing a new culture, food, sights and all that stuff. While there doing business I met a black woman whom I was very – very attracted to. I’m still not sure what exactly I was attracted to about her. I did not think of her as a black woman while in her presence only about my attraction to her. She is a college educated professional, fit and beautiful. I am reasonably sure she too was as interested me however I did not act on my attraction, though I did make it clear to her what I thought. It had never crossed my mind that I would ever be this attracted and interested (relationship) in a black woman in my life. The things we learn about ourselves can be fascinating.

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  9.   warn81 says:
    Posted: 04 Mar 09

    I've always been attracted to white men. I don't know... I just like people different from me. You get to learn new things. We are all the same just having different experiences.

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  10.   kingtoqueen says:
    Posted: 27 Feb 09

    This is to the black ladies, I am a while male in early 40's. I am new to this site, I cam across this site because I was looking for information on interracial dating. From the ladies, I need recommendations of where to go to try to find a black lady to date and how would I know if a black lady would be interested in dating a white man. I guess it is just having the confidence and just ask, but I havent been in that situation to be able to ask. I guess it I will never know unless I ask. I have not been in a situation to be able to ask. I briefly dated a black girl in High School, and a black woman in the 80's. I ended up marrying a hispanic woman, but it did not last, that is why I want to go back to a black woman.

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  11.   JoshLind29 says:
    Posted: 27 Feb 09

    I'm attracted to black women. I have been since I was too young to know it. I don't see race I see beauty and femininity. I've dated women of many different races but I really attracted to black women. I am attracted to their facial features and the skin color. I don't know why, but I am. I catch a lot of shit from my family. I come from a super red-neck/confederate, close minded southern white family and have to deal with their idiocy on a constant. As a veteran and world traveler, I have come to accept that all people are just trying to live. And race is nothing more than proof and ancestral origin. I don't like the fact that there is racism and there are even topics about this subject lol. Does it matter in the end? No. We're all humans and we all have our own way of living our lives and being happy.

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  12.   kingtoqueen says:
    Posted: 21 Feb 09

    carribprincess, I am white and wanted to let you know I think you are hot. I have only dated two black woman briefly when I was in hawaii and in california. I have not found or met another black lady that i could date, at least not yet. I am attracted to black women for there looks and personality.

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  13.   draco_1955 says:
    Posted: 20 Feb 09

    [QUOTE] Comment by Jeanette on 30 September 2007: Hey Michael, Since you love to cook, there are queues forming you know. Have a nice week y’all Jeanette [/QUOTE] Jeanette: As another Michael who loves to cook (and I mean I LOVE to cook!) please point me to one of those queues!!! My interest in black women stems from the sexual stimulus of the difference in skin-tone - not to exclude the personal. We've all heard the term "Double Dutch" and that is the one feature I find most sexually appealing. Primarily, though, I seek women who are intellectually stimulating, regardless of pigmentation or place of birth. A woman who can hold my interest in a conversation is far more sexy than one who has what is generally perceived to be an attractive physique. No that physique is unimportant...for me, that's secondary.

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  14.   winnie says:
    Posted: 20 Feb 09

    I happened to stumble across this website in my quest for information on interracial dating. I'm a young, attractive African-American woman interested in dating a particular White guy. I've dated African-American men as well as Latino men. Don't get me wrong, I think that when it comes to love, race or ethnicity shouldn't matter. But I find myself becoming more and more attracted to European White males. Must be the accents. Anyway, for me, I live in a big city in the US, so interracial dating isn't that big of a deal for me. I don't care if I'm looked at in a weird way, I don't care one bit. Love is love...and I agree with some of the previous comments on this blog; if a man respects you and treats you well, he's definitly a keeper regardless of race. So glad I found this blog. Kudos for asking this question.

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  15.   TheMinx says:
    Posted: 14 Feb 09

    Hi All, I will bypass the negativity and speak to the topic at hand. I'm an author of Multicultural Romance. Basically write BW / WM stories in all kinds of genres from scifi, historical (published), horror, erotica. I belong to several sites where these stories flourish and they are mostly populated by black and hispanic women. We've had these discussions in depth as to whether interracial dating is 'fetish' or just open love. I think if you are not exclusive you are the most enlightened. I think some times opposites attract. Why do some prefer short men than tall? Why do some prefer big breasts to ass? Festish, preference, deep-rooted trauma from not getting off the tit early enough? Who's to say. To try to generalize this topic and box in a man's preference for us ladies of color is really kind of pointless. We all like what we like. And for those that come from some place narrow and slighted by their own issues and hang-ups they shouldn't be lumped in with others that are seeking love on any side of the rainbow. Personally I'm not sexually attracted to black men. When my girls were falling out over Ralph Transvant of New Edition I was swooning over Scott Baio. LOL! It doesn't mean I have any ill feelings toward black men. I was raised by a black man, I have a nephew whom I'm helping raise that will be a black man. It's just a preference that came from nowhere but I'm not a slave to it. I'm open to love in even outside of my cut out copy of desire. My grandfather was Native American but other than that I have mostly black and Hispanics in my family. My first love was ASIAN and yet I find myself drawn to white men. I guess in closing, though I love the exchange there is no 'real answer' to this question, just a lot of individual ones. Go in Love! Minx

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  16.   Member says:
    Posted: 13 Feb 09

    I am a 29 yr old haitian womand and my husband is 35 yr old italian man. We were both born in america. We have a daughter 1.5 yr old and I am currently 6 months pregnant. We have been married 14 months and we have been dating 3 yrs in July. We have a great relationship. We talk,laugh, play and grow together. He shows me so much attention and love and I give it back to hm. Sometimes I get angry with him or feel insecure and he always reassures me- that I am the best thing that has happened to him. He is the best for me to and has given me things I always wanted like marriage,children,love. We are in marital counseling so we can beat the 60% divorce rate and preserve our love and marriage. We have sex 2 times a week.

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  17.   letslove says:
    Posted: 12 Feb 09

    Sorry for my last comment I know I said don't encourage ignorance but this comment furious me because I find african men attitude repulsive and quite taste less!!!!!. I wonder how they feel about african american men?.

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  18.   letslove says:
    Posted: 12 Feb 09

    Well just let truth have his moment let the truth be told truth your mad cause most african american women won't have you . I had a lot of your culture tried to date me and truth be told you have a funny smell about you I can't understand a word you say and your very controlling you hate the fact were to independent for you . My aunt dated your kind and she went to white its men like you that make black men look bad so truth be truthfully why you can't really stand african american women.

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  19.   letslove says:
    Posted: 12 Feb 09

    Cuddaking this upsets me a a lot it has me writing double that there are some ignorant women out there that make it hard for beautifully and caring black women like men look bad. When my fiance and I met we started off as friends for six months it developed into a serious relationship. I met him at the same job I worked at from there the sparks just keep flying. He to was married to a woman who loved him because of the covenant she had three kids and he was well off she saw green and he stilled married her anyways red flags every were. HE regrets it she was fijin I told him don't let one bad seed ruin it for you. And i agree if you do not like white men or like black women this is not the topic for you there are other topics that supports your topic and for some pleases don't encourage ignorance on this site thanks a bunch.

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  20.   letslove says:
    Posted: 12 Feb 09

    Wow I am late for this site. It really bothers me that some people can take a perfect good topic and turn it into a challenge . Xxnjxy and Salome why can't you just stick to the topic he did not ask who can spell the best or who's grammar is intact. Why must you get on this site to try to make people feel bad?. Hmm I guess there aren't a lot of beautiful people out there. now to the real topic I am a black american woman and I love my fiance and as you know he is white he loves me because I am smart bit of a challenge for him we love to debate!!. He loves my compassion for life my inner beauty as well out he loves the fact that I am sincere,honest,caring and very blunt also straight to the point. Don't get me wrong I too have some flaws that he do not take liken to however I am willing to learn I love black men my kids are by a black man every man has there on uniqueness . So as you see why he loves some black women every man is different .

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  21.   Bumpslick says:
    Posted: 11 Feb 09

    Carib, I understand fully where you are coming from sweetheart. Im not upset or offended by your response at all. U seemed a bit defensive but you made it pretty clear why u felt that way...and its all good. Honestly- I really dont know why I feel that way towards white men....I seriously cant understand it. Like I stated previously -I have plenty white male friends and I work with plenty of white men in the Corporate world on a daily basis and we all get along GREAT! My Mom and Dad raised me well to respect others and love everyone equally, but I just cant seem to understand why Im uncomfortable with getting with a white dude. The truth of the matter is - I was at the dentist the other day and while I was sitting down in a crowded busy waiting room a GORGEOUS blonde hair ice blue eyed tall model looking dude sat beside me and started a pleasent conversation with me ...he was such a sweetheart and he looked very nervous....but for some strange reason I felt totally embaressed and uncomfortable talkin to him in this crowded waiting room while everyone was watching us and noticing this dude was into me BIG TIME. For some reason I cant understand why I feel that way...I really wish I felt differently cause sometimes I feel like I passed up a good thing .

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  22.   Carib says:
    Posted: 11 Feb 09

    "If Al Sharpton or Jesse Jackson came on line to attack you, I would defend, whether I agreed or not, your right to say what you wish-without you coming under attack." Well, clearly you disagree. I would not expect you, Mocha Cravens or anyone else to understand me. I always defend my boyfriend & best friends (who are like brothers to me) when someone makes a cruel remark about white men. I'm just tired of society always having some obtuse thing to say about them. @Mocha Cravens: I hope you did too, and no I definitely don't think you're the only black woman to feel that way. BUT the actions you and other black women who don't like dating interracially display is what I have a problem with. First of all, I'm not vex at you. I just don't understand why you and other black women think you have to have sneering looks on your faces to reject a white man, if anything it perpetuates the stereotypes of black women we are trying to dissociate from. Secondly, Lord knows, if I sneered at a black guy all hell will break loose, and if I told someone, that when a black man approaches me; I get offended...look out! I will be deemed a racist, and sell out. What I don't understand is why everyone is so against me defending my boyfriend, It seems to me, that you get a pat on the head for making a comment about white men, that I find offensive, because my boyfriend is white, and I get despised for defending my boyfriend. Lastly, Like I said before; I do not care if you don't date white men, I'm not here to turn you on to them, but why do you feel the need to have a scornful look on your face towards men (who are white) who weren't disrespectful towards you. I just don't like how that word was used. Anyway, I'm sorry if it seems like I was attacking you. That was not my intention at all.

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  23.   Bumpslick says:
    Posted: 10 Feb 09

    Hi Carib- Hope you had a wonderful day so far- I think its GREAT that you met someone that loves you and treats you like a Queen , every woman in the world deserves to be treated with respect like a Queen whether he is BLack, White, Green or Silver. I'm not hating on anyone for their choices or preferences. BUT SERIOUSLY- Do you think im the only black female in the world that feels the same way I do? SORRY to let U down but IM NOT. U would be surprised to know alot of black women out there feel the same way but are afraid to express how they feel because they dont want to get attacked or misjudged. I grew up seeing black couples together and I guess I hav'nt outgrown that visualzation in my head....who knows- that could be why I feel offended when white males approach me. Dont get me wrong now- Im not rude to white men when they approach me , I just have a look on my face like you cant be serious ...and usually they get the picture. As Im reading all the feedback and previous blogs on this site, I find are helpful stepping stones to understanding and excepting all types of people in our lives !

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  24.   rr says:
    Posted: 10 Feb 09

    I must say that I agree with most of you, it's not about skin color it's about personality and sense of humor and of course physical attraction. I would prefer to date white men or Hispanic only, I've never dated a black man and never will.A lot of black men are chauvinistic, arrogant, self-centered and too macho, what a real turn off and I'm not saying that there aren't any white men that may display that attitude, I'm sure there are some out there that are like that.But I've been hurted by blackmen, they can be so heartless and don't care about there kids, they would sleep with you and leave you with the baby. I'm just so sick and tired of seeing that. White men or I should say the decent(Gorgeous) whitemen you have my respect.

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  25.   rr says:
    Posted: 10 Feb 09

    I must say that I agree with most of you, it's not about skin color it's about personality and sense of humor and of course physical attraction. I would prefer to date white men or Hispanic only, I've never dated a black man and never will.A lot of black men are chauvinistic, arrogant, self-centered and too macho, what a real turn and I'm not saying that there aren't any white men that may display that attitude, I'm sure there are some out there that are like that.But I've been hurted by blackmen, they can be so heartless and don't care about there kids, they would sleep with you and leave you with the baby. I'm just so sick and tired of seeing that. White men or I should say the decent(Gorgeous) whitemen you have my respect.

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  26.   Robins22 says:
    Posted: 10 Feb 09

    thekid47 is exactly right. Everyone is entitled to their views. I am glad that Mocha Cravens decided to post. It is obvious, which she has also stated that she wanted the views of other people. It seems she is being very receptive to what everyone else is saying but she is not receiving the same. Comments are great for feedback but direct attacks do not help at all. we have the power to educate in everything we say or do, which can be positive or negative. So assisting and not attacking Mocha Cravens is a starting point in expanding the knowledge that we as individuals have.

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  27.   thekid47 says:
    Posted: 10 Feb 09

    I actually oppose attacking anyone-because choices, for whatever reason, can not be overcome by yelling at some one or calling names. Dialogue and discussion, I think are to be preferred. If Al Sharpton or Jesse Jackson came on line to attack you, I would defend, whether I agreed or not, your right to say what you wish-without you coming under attack. Again, Mocha did not attack anyone, and I posted, which has been removed it looks like, a plea not to attack someone. If someone has a problem with someone because of their skin color, whether on a interracial site or not, that just means that if someone like Barack Obama came around, or Tom Selleck, or Tiger Woods, or ...you can down the list of incredible human beings, across all ethnic lines, who one would not meet. But even for this, there is the possibility for love, even we as fallible human beings with all of our fallibilities, we can still find love. And that gives us all, I think, a basis for hope. I certainly wouldn't attack someone. Peace and respects to all.

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  28.   Carib says:
    Posted: 10 Feb 09

    @Mocha Cravens I'm half Black and East Indian (I'm just posting my ethnicity since you posted yours). Anyway, It does offend me, since my boyfriend is white, by societies standard, but actually white/cuban, and I have many white male friends, that I care about deeply. I just don't get it. What did they say that was so insulting? Did they say you are attractive? because that's what my boyfriend told me, when I met him. Did they say "Hi how are you?" because that's how my boyfriend approached me or was being white offensive enough for you? Like I said I'm not trying to change your mind about the men you choose to date. I'm just trying to understand why you feel this way, Because my boyfriend was not insulting, and he does not upset me simply because he is "White". What I find offensive is, when men come up to me, and ask me "Do you want to do something with me tonight?", "Yo, whas up; gimme your number or my favourite "Well I didn't want your stupid ass anyway"...that's offensive to me. Now lets try a little experiment, Let's see how long it will take to get people riled by my statement: "It OFFENDS me when black men approach me, because the inane statements made above, were made to me by black men". Let's see how long it will take before the b/c, Al Sharpton, and Jesse Jackson reach here, to chastise me.

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  29.   Bumpslick says:
    Posted: 09 Feb 09

    Good Evening, My response goes out to Carib- Thank you for pointing it out to me- but I do know what OFFEND means my darling... and your breakdown of the meaning is EXACTLY how I feel when caucasin men approach me. I understand it upsets you to hear that type of comment or makes you feel uncomfortable in some way...but it should'nt. Im a very straight forward person when it comes to my feelings on certain situations....I was only expressing how I truly feel on that matter. Positive feedback like Robin22 response was very touching and eye opening and really makes you think ( U go girl ) . The kid47- your a sweetheart !

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  30.   Robins22 says:
    Posted: 09 Feb 09

    Hello All. I just wanted to add a comment. I have read quite a few of the blgs and the answer to the question at hand are great. I am a black female who have dated outside her race since the age of 15, I am now 35. It was always an understanding through my family and friends that "I" could date outside my race but never ever think of marrying outside my race. Well, I started dating this wonderful white guy who I met leaving Barnes and Nobles bookstore. He was very charming, not my type at all. See I am dark-skinned and he is blonde hair , blue eyes and we are about three years apart (him being older of course). I generally dated dark-skinned men of different races. When God brings someone to you, it's not at all who you would physically picture sometimes. we eventually got engaged and I broke his heart. I tippy toed around untilI broke off the engagement and married a black man who was rather questionable. See everyone saw us as the ideal couple for the black community. We were both successful, financially secure and home owners. We would be great together. Yeah, things looked great from the outside. He was a complusive cheater and liar. The generational curse,which he difinitely used that to his advantage. Well I finally got up the nerve and we are now divorce. We have a 2yr old son out of the marriage. I have since reunited with my long lost luv (yes the white man) and he treats me and my son with LOVE. I am thankful everyday for the opportunity to share my life with him. My son will have the opportunity to be raised in a loving home with a wonderful step dad who loves him as his own. See I learned a valuable lesson. I was one of those people who saw color. My boyfriend loved me no less than he loved me so many years ago. I was the one who saw different. I settled fro less because of my weakness of letting people dictate who my mate should be. People saying, you too good for your own race. They see how successful I am and assume I date outside my race b/c I feel the black man is less than myself or they see us together and assume I am with him b/c he is doing so much for me and my son. Fact, I am successful in my own right. I provide solely for me and my son. Things that I am dealing with now are the reasons why I choose to leave the first time. But God, knowing my heart desire....gave me back what I had given up. So everyone. My white man loves me (his black woman) because I am his soul mate and he is mine. Through out my journey I am have now realized that love is fromthe inside out.

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  31.   thekid47 says:
    Posted: 09 Feb 09

    Yes, without cause. There was no personal attack against anyone, only a statement of how she felt, and secondly, there have been equally strong statements about dating african american gentlemen, or no, on this blog. Also, I date women of all ethnicities, and I was simply saying to her, that independent of my agreement or disagreement with her position, there was no cause to attack her. In fact, even given the inconsistencies on some of the blog posts, there is not need to attack anyone-for whatever reason someone does or does not date-attacking them wont change that at all, and I wouldn't get bent out of shape either way. I am aware of the blog title, but as I mentioned before, there has been inconsistencies on this on all sides-and sadly, there have been not only, not so much removal of stereotypes but a replacing of stereotypes on another group, in some of the statements made during the entire blog history on this topic. That is the problem in a real sense, of these blogs-they tend to set up conflicts by their very phrasing, and as I also said, beg the question.

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  32.   Carib says:
    Posted: 09 Feb 09

    "without cause?!" I'm sorry, I did not mean to attack Mocha Cravens, but she came on an IR dating site with the thread "Why white men love the black women" to say she gets offended when a White man approaches her. Do you know the meaning of the word offend? [insults, upsets, hurt ones feelings]. So you are pretty much saying, that it upsets you or it is insulting when a white man shows interest in you. I'm not trying to get you to change your mind about not wanting to date white men. I'm just trying to understand why it is insulting when a white man approaches you. So I guess there is cause

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  33.   thekid47 says:
    Posted: 09 Feb 09

    Hi Mocha Cream, No need to apologize, you didn't attack anyone at all. You were just speaking about your own experience-you were the one who was attacked, and without cause in my observation. The fact is, that on many of the blogs on this site, the question asked begs the question if you will-and invites conflict. Respects..

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  34.   Bumpslick says:
    Posted: 08 Feb 09

    Hello Again, I apologize if I offended anyone with my comment...That was not my intention at all. Im 28 yrs old and never ever dated outside my race. I dont consider myself ignorant nor close minded etc. I've met plenty of gorgeous ,well educated, well off caucasin men with beautiful personalitys...But for some strange reason I cant seem to look past the color thang...guess thats my loss.... I definitly dont knock or have anything against people who date outside their race AT ALL. My reasons for bringing forward my comment online was to get some type of positive feedback on that. Maybe there are other females who feel the same way and is unsure why they feel that way. Thats was it people, certainly did'nt mean to rub y'all the wrong way.

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  35.   Rob says:
    Posted: 08 Feb 09

    im white and i love black women there all i go for i think they are really nice and they have a great ass

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  36.   Member says:
    Posted: 08 Feb 09

    I see jeanette on here in her pic and I just stare at her she is really something, I see something in black woman that i dont see in white ones, all the white ones ive ever seen are so selfish, scatterbraned and so insecure its rediculous, I mean ive talked to black woman before and its so nice to talk to a person that cares what your saying and not just stupid white noise like they dont give a darn what you say, Im really geting perterbed over this junk that whites in general are so pious and so non caring, I mean do they really care or do they just BS you like thier careing and then act like its nothing, I see a differeence in black woman, I see a geniuneness that i dont see in whites and that i wanna date a black girl and know what im talikng about, I never got the chance to go out with a nice black lady , it was all racial junk and theres no difference in color its whats in the heart that counts like Gods says, I mean what if i did get to gether with a sweet black craing woman and dumb family said it was thing they dont like well who care what they like it her and me not the stupid johnny whatever down the road, im just tired of al the stupid racial junk and white men thinking that they have to find a white woman or someone will say something, again who cares big deal, if thier happy and doing things together than Praise God,

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  37.   edward says:
    Posted: 06 Feb 09

    seems like black woman dont try to act off as much as white woman do and are less nervous about themselves, I mean i see a white woman and all i want is to do it with her, i see a black woman and something changes, its alot more intellectual, all I see in white woman though I like them too is a hyperness or wanting to show off all the time, and black woman arnt appreciated as much as they should be, I keep seeing this trendyness acting in white woman like they never get enoghy attention, and in black woman i see alot more self like and not so much look at me thing, why do I see wanting to make love in white women so much , and that in black woman it seems they can talk alot more down to earth and not go off into all sorts of spazzy things and and be scatterbrained, totally gets on my nerves, i feel something with a black lady that i dont with white ones and I know , as i see it everytime i talk to a nice black lady, and if I talk to a white woman they are all scatterbrained,edwared

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  38.   thekid47 says:
    Posted: 04 Feb 09

    Well, there is no need to attack anyone in particular I think, because there have been ..well contradictory statements made on all sides of this discussion. The problem again, with these blog questions, is that they tend to beg the question-and invite conflict where there need not be any. I think that Steve is spot on, that is really the wonderful thing, possibly, about this site. It would be tragic indeed, if in coloring outside of the lines-as the site suggests, causes or leads to, the creation of new lines, or as sad, the redefinition of old lines in new ways.

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  39.   Carib says:
    Posted: 04 Feb 09

    @Mocha Craven Are you serious? You get offended when a white guy approaches you. You mean to tell me, that if a white man complimented you, and showed interest in you, you would be offended. Why? Were they from another species?! What if a black man, who was posted up on a corner, drinking a 40, and smoking weed approached you, would you be offended then? Then I see no reason for you to be on here. This blog is called "Why White men love Black women", not "I feel uncomfortable dating outside my race." All close-minded, nonsensical people, such as yourself, need to have your own island, and I guarantee there will be fights everyday, because of the idiotic rules you all live by. Everybody has their preference, I understand that, but to say you get OFFENDED when a certain race approaches you is unwitting. Also, Why are you shocked when black women [like myself] date outside our race? I date White men, because they're HUMAN. I date Hispanic men, because they're HUMAN. I date any race, because they are HUMAN. It's not like they're monkeys. I'm 23, and I know better than to be as close-minded as you.

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  40.   Steve says:
    Posted: 03 Feb 09

    I really dont't care what the race is..I don't play that card. White, Black, Asian, Hispanic...I've been rather open and dated women of all races.

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  41.   Interestedwhiteguy says:
    Posted: 01 Feb 09

    Everybody has their own reasons for whatever they do. People choose different clothes, food, cars, houses, movies, music, etc. Why should it be any different for dating, etc.? Speaking as a man, it's usually sexual attraction at first, at least. And opposites attract so it's no wonder a lot of white guys are attracted to black women, and vice versa. A lot of it does have to do with the mystery, etc. And the sexual fantasies of many white guys do include black women, believe me I know....lol.

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  42.   Member says:
    Posted: 01 Feb 09

    Mocha Cravens.....*sigh*...what?...are you really serious?...please get a life. How on earth can you sit there and say "you get very offended when a white man approaches you"?....and you are "shocked" when you read about black women that are comfortable with dating outside their race. And then you say you are "definitely not prejudice at all"...wtf..just answer me one thing please. Are you stupid or just ignorant? You cant get any more of a prejudice remark than that. Ok, its one thing not be attracted to white guys. You're not into us white guys. No big deal. Whatever. But to say you get "offended" when a white man shows interest in you?..geez, excuse them for being attracted to you. And then, how can you look down, and be shocked by a black woman who dates a white man. Shocked by someone that doesnt see boundaries in love. Shocked by someone that realizes love doesnt see in color. Part of me wants to get mad and tell you how stupid you sound. But really i feel sorry for you. Its sad. It really is. I hope one of my 3 buddies on here rockerchick, tatted2death, or geneandthem read what you wrote and respond to it aswell.

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  43.   Member says:
    Posted: 01 Feb 09

    Im a black woman half black half Indian....I get alot of attention from men of all races....but for some reason I get very offended when white men approach me....Im not too sure why i feel offended but I do. I work and have white males as friends but thats it...as far as dating goes i feel exstremly uncomfortable dating ouside my race. Im defintiley not prejudice at all. Its shocking to see, read and hear the resposes of black women who feel comfortable dating outside their races. WOW guys !

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  44.   SASSYDANCER says:
    Posted: 27 Jan 09

    as for me I've dated all types of males throughout my dating phase thus far, i found i bond usually with ethnic males or white males(spanish,middle eastern,indian,greek,italian) american black males and me simply do not mix we are like water and oil for the most part. but that doesn't mean i would exclude someone special from the black race if we had something in common.

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  45.   thecuddaking says:
    Posted: 27 Jan 09

    well any black woman on here willing to prove themself different can email me ihnab1@yahoo.com

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  46.   thecuddaking says:
    Posted: 25 Jan 09

    Thanks for the reply. And i do hope you find him. If i was in your age requirement then you might not have to look further cause you do seem like someone who would treat someone great. I know at 42 you look great. but i cam make bad looks seem great if i was just given resepct for who i am. i think mainly this girl i was with and the following girls ive attempted with saw me as the shy sensitive guy they say they want but really want someone who is agressive and accertive. im just more evenly based. i want a women to realize that its about taking turns. i dont always have to be one way, but reguardless of anything its about respecting the guy thats with you no matter what and realize that hes feeding you and giving you his love exclusively. a lot of women dont realize this extreme factor in a guys mental thinking. they really feel if they choose to give 100% completeness to one woman without any feelings of even glancing at another woman then they should be #1 in your life. and to add to that the real problem is once some women realize they got you locked on them then they can do whatever they want with or without you. sometime i get to thinking about history and feel that it just plain sucks that we cant have things like they use to be without the change of society. what i mean by this is before the idea of divorce by a laywer and settlements alimony child support welfare dance clubs fancy purses big screen tvs spinners stero systems excalades hummers all kinds of drugs and all that fancy stuff you would never hardly hear of a family breaking up and the kids not knowing both parents. i think ppl mainly women in general, but not generalized, feel that they would rather get control so they can just hustle what they want rather than having to give respect or taking a chance with a guy and working towards the relationship themself also so that they can obtain the things they want together. there are soo many women who have hustled me to try and get what they want while in the background they are obtainy their sexual needs and companionship with another woman. or not even taking a relationship at all, just acting like they want one. its sad because someone like me could be their best friend companion and love they would ever have

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  47.   VA_Princess says:
    Posted: 25 Jan 09

    I remember being attracted to white boy when I was 7, maybe 8. I didn't see skin color, I saw a cute boy. I love haitaingirl's post. It's about who you love, you loves you, who gets you. We all want that. Michael, I feel for you. Think we have all been in a relationship at some point that was a mess (to put it kindly). It is not always easy to find that right person but I am still hopeful. I have date Black, White, etc. Been in relationships with both Black and White/mixed. In my mid thrities, I realized my strongest appeal and attraction is to White/mixed guys. It's just what I am drawn to. It's what gets my motor (mind and heart) going. I know the one for me is out there. Hope we find each other soon!

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  48.   dimitri says:
    Posted: 24 Jan 09

    I like a lady period. If she is black, white, hispanic, asian, whatever. I do not look at someone because of their race. I am an american mixed with Indian, Russian, Spanish. I am a good looking man, I have dated a beautiful African American lady. She was wonderful. Treated me like a man, with respect. That is what a man wants. respect. I treated her like a lady, she deserved that. We all have issues, race issues I cannot understand. Where I came from there were no African Americans. Race was still an issue. Spanish hated the Mexicans, Whites hated the Mexicans and Indians. All hated the half breeds like me. Never understod that. There was not that much difference in looks. Then I moved to the south. Blacks hated whites, whites hated blacks and I still got racist remarks from both blacks and whites. I would marry a African american woman in a heart beat if I loved her and she loved me. Or any lady regardless of race if we loved each other. That is what counts. Love, respect and trust. Who cares what color a person is. I could never understand the concept that we could not get along. God says love all. He never mentions a race of color. So white, black, asian, whatever, if you like each other and love each other, never let anybody take that away from you. It is your life and it is your decision to enjoy life with who you want to enjoy it with. Of course there are bad people in any race. Just keep away from them and their lies. God bless.

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  49.   thecuddaking says:
    Posted: 24 Jan 09

    Well i was in a relationship with a black woman off and on for 3 years and didnt realize that she was ony with me for the financial side of things. but basically for 3 years her idea was that of which is something her mother told her that no man is in control of his household. so even though there were little things that suggested that she believes this 100% with me having no decisions whatsoever i didnt catch on to it until it was finally over and i had a chance to finally see the truth. but some of the things she did was : when i got home from work one evening she told me to go cash my check and she is going out. SHE TOLD ME not asked me to do this. she would also allow her friends to come over and hang out on our bed while im at work. this upset me because our bedroom is a special place for her and i not the community to see where we sleep. thats just a couple of the things that she did which is extremely shy of everything she did that put me at the bottom of the barrel or the list. i had no respect from her. since then ive kept my head up and still believe that i can still have a chance with the right black woman. just to name a few instances with other black females ive attempted to create something with... 1. most recently ive had a female that i got aquainted with in ohio near cincinatti that agreed we should meet. before this we were talking during xmas about what she had gotten for gifts and she said nothing so i mentioned that i didnt either and so i'll bring her and her little 5 yr old son a small gift when we meet. so she gave me directions to get to her and halfway there she changed where she would be. she ended up having me take a taxi all the way across town to a really poor neighborhood that she called the projects of cincinatti. it was bad. she then said she is comming outside. i waited out in the cold for 30minutes and i said where are you? she then replied u dont see me im staring right at you but there was nobody there. i called the taxi back and told her that was not very funny and she laughed. 2. another female used me for money also 3. 2 females different in aquaintences used me for an experiment because they were bored with their life with their partner. 4. several other females have gotten to know me in detail and say they like me soo much and start saying they love me but come to find out their married. they just wanted someone to talk dirty to them. 5 another female wanted me to move close to her but then started talking about how she needed a car soo bad and kept talking about it and i finally realized that i believe she wanted me to buy it for her. she just ignored me. dont get me wrong i know its probably mostly my fault for not seeing the signs but that is a very hard thing to do with black females ive noticed. however i believe that if there was a genuine black female that i actually got the chance to meet that her attraction to me probably wouldnt not be present because of the whole white boy thing. i dont really know whats going on, but if you gotta be a white thuggish type for a black female to be attracted to you enough to be straight forward and like you for you and not play any games even small ones then that tells me they dont need to or shouldnt bother trying a white male. white males such as myself anyway just dont have the capability to act thuggish or harsh or ghetto or extremely strong natured or almost bullying towards a female. at least i dont and will not act that way cause its not me, however most black females dont want a nice guy even though they mention that do. maybe the conclusion to this is that if im being myself and myself is not a woman beating always in control, rough and tough type, then does that mean i have no choice but to let the issue go or give up on what i would prefer. by the way my preference of black females is not that of exotic skin or sexual enuendoes. its more how they present themself in the attraction, but also because i feel that most white women just dont take care of themself the same anymore. also im part native and italian so i think that must be where most of that gut feeling to want to be in love with a black woman comes from. my father did it too. and now my father and grandfather are both married to darker skinned females. they are asian but that has no bearing. so what can you tell me about all this?

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  50.   SanAntonioBeauty says:
    Posted: 20 Jan 09

    Michael, please tell us what you mean about the way black women have treated you differently from the way they treat black men. What I can say is that I am more cautious with black men than I am with white men because of history.

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