Why white men love the black woman
Ever wondered why some white guys, love black women so much?
It seems that being a white male and proclaiming your attraction to black women (not only sexually, but also romantically) may lead to a lot of controversial and dangerous things. Let’s leave the debate of why more black women may be opening themselves up to white guys. The main focus of this debate is: why some white guys are opening themselves to black women. Let’s concentrate on that.
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Most white males don’t feel like they are running short of white women to marry. White males just marry at high rates. So question is: Why black women? The thing is it will not be fair to bundle up black women as one since everyone is their own person… be it in appearance or personality.
However, one thing that a white male friend of mine said… and I let him get away with bundling it all up is: “We love a black woman's confidence, her tenacity and her undeniable achievements in the face of great adversity...᾿ Since this info was coming from a man, there was definitely the mention of the lips, the curves, and that wonderful skin as well.
So what about stereotypes like “black women are either sexually conservative or total sluts?" Many people give so much lip service to interracial dating sites. You would think they have never done it. But those uptight individuals are the ones that spread these stereotypes. What happened to the highly educated black woman? How about the caring, decent and involved black woman?
Probably most white guys and others are confused with the stereotypical trash people spread around and if you are one that falls for such lame ol’ lines, then you sure as hell haven’t dated a black woman.
Bottom line, you don't have to sacrifice who you are for a white guy. They will love you anyway. Just be you and open yourself up… and if you like white guys, some white guy will find you too.
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8097 responses to "Why white men love the black woman"
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geneandthem says:Posted: 17 Dec 08Well JamaicanInToronto, Nice to meet you to! Let me introduce my self! First off if you do not like this "blog site" Then BEAT YOUR MOTHER F#@$ING FEET!! And if "White guys" Aren't approaching you I doubt it is because of there "balls"! If you truly believe that only Real men Exist in Jamaica then TAKE YOUR F#$%ING A@$ BACK THERE!! Every hoe ave dem tik a bush! Now as far as the abbreviation "SP" Lets Take a quick lesson on the History of the Abbreviation SP! SP is a two-letter abbreviation that Can mean: Sapeur-pompier (French firefighter) Security Phase in the United Nations. Security Police (Japan) SP (TV series) - TV series based on security police. Short perforation, in philately Singapore Polytechnic - A polytechnic in Singapore. Spelling state park (US) state police (US) sweet pie (romantic CIT phrase) Suomen Partiolaiset - the Finnish national Scout Association Südtiroler Pfadfinderschaft - a Scout Association in South Tyrol. Superintendent of Police SP is a USCS symbol for poorly graded sand Spontaneous potential is a measurement taken by oil industry well loggers to characterise rock formation properties sine prole - without offspring Sailor Pluto Summorum Pontificum Secular-progressive, abbreviated S-P, used to describe people who advocate government independence from religious influences Shining Path, a Maoist guerrilla insurgent organization in Peru Social Democratic Party of Switzerland Socialist Party or Social Democratic Party Samajwadi Party, India Samata Party, India Saskatchewan Party Centre Party (Norway) (Senterpartiet) Socialistische Partij, a current political party in The Netherlands Socialistische Partij, a historical name for the SP.A in Belgium Socialistische Partij, a historical political party in The Netherlands (1918-1929) Southern Party, United States Short program, the first part of a figure skating competition sp., abbreviation for species used in place of a specific epithet in a species name Self-propelled artillery Shore Patrol, United States Navy Soft point bullet, a type of ammo Starting pitcher, a baseball term 25 metre pistol, a shooting sport formerly known as sport pistol Sp(n) and Sp(2n,F), in mathematics, denote a symplectic group or its corresponding Lie algebra Spur, German term for the trace of a square matrix in linear algebra simulated patient Sleep Paralysis Social phobia, an anxiety disorder. standardized patient São Paulo (city) São Paulo (state) Saint Petersburg Severna Park, Maryland South Park South Pole South Philadelphia South Pasadena, Florida South Pasadena, California SaskPower, Canada SATA Air Acores, IATA airline designator SP Technical Research Institute of Sweden Share price Southern Pacific Railroad, AAR reporting marks SP starting price bookmaking, known colloquially as SP Starting prices (UK) a betting term Schering-Plough Space characters entered from the keyboard And last but not least the most commonly used!!! Suppressive Person, often abbreviated SP, is a term used in Scientology to describe the "antisocial personalities" Now as for me being "effeminate"?? Maybe you aren't being approached by men in general because your virile! Have a safe and wonderful trip back to Jamaica!!! Cockroach nuh business inna fowl fite!!!! Ashley,
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Evolvedmorethanyou says:Posted: 17 Dec 08
Carib Princess, you sound amazingly racist and narrow minded so I hope it's just that your words are not being properly expressed in online form. From what you've written, to you, black women are superior to EVERYONE on earth, which is absurd. It's great to have confidence and pride, but reverse racism isn't cool either. Progress doesn't involve tearing down others who are different than you and perpetuating stereotypes about them simply because they're different. Surely you understand that, being as educated as you have repeatedly stated you are here. Also, to say you only want successful white men makes you look like you're out to social climb or gold dig. It's materialistic and doesn't make much of a case for caring about the human being vs. their skin tone or position in society. You're helping perpetuate a stereotype that black women are dating successful white men to advance themselves, not for love. Is that really what you want? If so, please don't speak for everyone. If you're asking people to look beyond skin color and look at the quality of human being, then no one will listen to you unless they see you practicing what you preach. In fact, every person here who said "I like white because..." or "I like black because..." is perpetuating a stereotype. No one skin color is more sexy, more intelligent, better looking, smarter, more family-oriented, more gentlemanly, etc. If you believe they are, then you're ignorant, insecure or trying to be superior which is, in itself, a form of prejudice. Great strides have been made toward equality. But true equality is equality for all.
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tatted2death says:Posted: 16 Dec 08Happy B-day, Beauty......hope all is well with you, sis.
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tatted2death says:Posted: 16 Dec 08
NO..not boring, Joshua......INSPIRING...thanks for sharing ....and YES, here's to the day we don't need these sort of blogs..... Peace and Blessings tatted2death P.S. Hope everyone's holiday season is going well.
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otherbrother says:Posted: 16 Dec 08
Hello all, couldn't sleep surfing the net found this site. First let me tell you about my self I am a White male 42 years of age, and find all women of all cultures and races to beautiful. I do not know what all the hype is about why white men date/marry black women. Maybe just maybe we are not all racist, maybe we find black women beautiful, maybe we are intrigued, maybe just maybe we have no real reason except a black woman came into are life and just filled it with happiness, and for some strange reason just fell in love. Who really know's but that individual person. I have been married twice once to a Jamaican woman and currently to an African-American women. My first wife of seven years which we were together for 10 died very suddenly, and my current wife and I have been married for three years. I find myself personally just more attracted to black women, they are so sexy and strong, they are willing to go the extra mile with their man. In my expierence alot of white woman are very dependant on a man, need a man financially, ECT... My expierence has been through thick and thin my woman will stand by me. We do not always agree, we do not always see eye to eye, we argue about religion, politics, money, sex, entertainment, raising the children (which my wife and I have 5) ECT.. I wonder, does any of this sound familiar. See i was talking to a black co worker of mine who is married to a black women and guess what, he has alot of the same issues as me and my wife. Suprising huh! man and woman, relationship, problems. They all go hand in hand. The difference is how you handle the problems, I am very fortunate both my late wife and current wife communicate every day, we talk, we listen, we share our feelings, and try to see where the otherone is coming from. So I think as other people have stated on this site most of the time we fall in love with who we fall in love with. Although I prefere black women, and sought out dating black women, I fell in love with two women, who both respected me treated me like a man and a king, I treated them like a woman and Queen, they just happened to be black. the only thing that I say is different is two white people married. I only say this, because race issues do affect my wife and I and our children. Two of our children are Bi-racial our little girl and my son from my late wife and three are african american from her late husband. We hear ignorant comments on a daily basis, we just communicate with our children and let them know all 5 of them that they are beautiful people with a purpose, and one day we will send them out in this cruel world to survive and hopefully by that time we will not be needing these blogs anymore. Understand what I am saying my wife and I are tgether because we want to be with each other, see there is no me without her, but we do not need each other in the sense of money, stature, sex, support. These things come naturally. See my stature is i am in a fun loving, healthy, marriage, with a woman I am in love with, that makes me the wealthiest man alive. Also for some reason alot of black couples I know go through alot of the racial issues that my wife and I go through. You know dark skinned to light skinned, do not bring no dark skinned woman or man home type of deal or vise vera do not bring home no light skinned man or woman. This baffles me beyond belief, but i have heard darked skinned black men and women say they want a light skinned pack partner so they will have beautiful babies. Are you serious, all 5 of my children are beautiful. Thanks for taking time to read this boring story.
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thekid47 says:Posted: 13 Dec 08
Hi Joshua, I am glad that you found happiness eventually, but the story seems to be bitter sweet. The mother of your first child-don't know if you have any others as of yet-but she died, and while quite young. That has to be sad for you, and for your daughter, and the parents as well.
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copperlovely says:Posted: 08 Dec 08Joshua that is a beautiful amazing story.....of your like and happiness. ..My life hads taken a turn. I met a man on another dating wbsite just before I went on vacation....yes. i went on vacation with my 95 yr. ol 2nd cousin. This was her 28th cruise. She turned 96 last Friday. Talking about an amazing woman!. Anyway my new interest, (initiated by him), agreed the we'd meet when i got back form vacation. Well, turns out he is that i have waited for all my life. We missed esch other before we met. He is Cape Veredian, 6' 6' tall, 285 lbs. A cariing, funny, gentle, extremely intelligent, and handsome gentlemen, Most importantly, he s steeped in God's word and God is first in his life. I am very happy and feel extremely blessed. He is extremely pleased with me as well. All in God's time.....
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Tx_SweetTea says:Posted: 08 Dec 08
Joshua, that was an amazing and inspiring story. Glad everything worked out for you.
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JoshuaP says:Posted: 08 Dec 08
I have nothing to say about black women in general but I can talk about one. Hmn… where to start. There was this girl I really liked; her name was Sarah. As expected, I was always afraid to talk to her. For that year, we never “seriously” talked. The next year, she was in quite a few of my classes, and I was more used to her, but I still never really spoke to her. Well, she spoke to me one day when we had free time in one of our classes, and we actually had a lot in common. We talked a lot. We called each other. I started going to her house. She started going to mine. One day, we were talking and the conversation got… heated. Long story short, we had sex. That was the beginning of our “new” relationship. Well, eventually, she got pregnant and had my kid (and, yes, we used a condom every time). I donno… it kind of went downhill from there. Her parents, who previously loved me, hated me. Even Sarah and I started fighting frequently. Her parents would barely allow me to see Elsie (my nickname for our daughter, Elisabeth), and would complain about me not helping out much :/ In short, Sarah died a little after that, and I got Elsie (though it was a VERY long and difficult process. Her parents didn’t want me to have her). This was when I was 17. Just so you’re all caught up, Sarah was white, as is my daughter. Anyway, my life was pretty hectic after that. I’m surprised I graduated high school, let alone got into college. I was terribly stressed and… I don’t know how to describe it. When I was younger, I always thought I’d be the best dad----that my kid would have a much better life than I had. I wasn’t doing so hot with that. At this time, we had our own place but I couldn’t afford really ANY luxury. So, in one of my classes, there was this one girl named Nalini that I had befriended on nearly my first day. She was sweet and beautiful, and she was super intelligent. I told her I would help her with one of our assignments, so I went to her house and brought Elsie. She was initially surprised but got over it, I guess. After we got the drafts done, we were playing with Elsie and talking about our personal beliefs and aspirations in life. The first thing I liked: we had a lot in common; even moreso than Sarah and I. The second thing: Elsie didn’t really “attach” to people all that well, but she had an apparent liking to Nalini. She didn’t cry much and smiled a lot. Third thing: Nalini seemed like she knew a thing or two about children. We talked more and more and got really close, and I felt like I was falling in love with her. I was beginning to freak; “the last time” was still in my head, even though the feeling wasn’t the same… I can’t explain it well. I felt like I was in love with Sarah, but with Nalini, it was so much *stronger*. It took another year, but we started going out. I moved into her apartment that year too, and I swear, Else’s and my life improve 300%! It cost *less* and was bigger! Plus there were two rooms, so we slept in one and Elsie slept in the other one. That was the first Christmas I could finally get my girl something!---both of them! It took only four more months for me to ask for her hand in marriage. So, how did THAT relationship work out, 17 years later? Well, you can ask our two boys that one! And our third if you wait another two months =)
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william says:Posted: 07 Dec 08
I am currently engauged to a black women,and I must say that it was not the color of her skinor jungel fever that attrated me to her it was who she was,that made me take the bait,she is attrative but it was not till later on in our relationship that I found that the features that are mor related to black women to be a 'turn on'might I add that i think when dark skin is wet it just gets mo akk hot and borthered,and this is the first black women I had ever been with,other than the color of there skin and the fact that some do age better than white women,there really is no difference to me, but thats just me,I try to see people for who they are not what they are,and the only thing that I could see that would be diffcult in a interracial relationship is adjusting to the different culters and back grounds of each other,and rasing biracial children but thats a whole other subject.
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e-dub says:Posted: 05 Dec 08
Back to the question: Why white men love the black woman? Allow me to retort: Why not? And for the life of me I can't think of a single good reason. Except: 1) There are a fair amount of perfectly "nice" people in society who don't think it's natural 2) You don't have your own head on straight about race. (Get your head screwed on straight before you mess up someone elses life) If you can take the heat and are willing tell Mrs Grundy to go fly kite when she looks down your black girl friend -- good luck and count your blessing.
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EfromCal says:Posted: 05 Dec 08
My answer would be just simply a strong desire, i think one knows what they desire by when they are alone what type of partner do you think of same goes for sexual preference male/female black/white thick/thin my choice has always been Female, 90percent of the time black
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tatted2death says:Posted: 04 Dec 08
Godiva..... Thank you soooo much for sharing your story...lesson to be learned, indeed. But I would like to let you know I think this blog has gone beyond the initial question. It has become a "home" or "touchstone" for many of us because it is seen as a place where we can come together and share our thoughts and wonderful or insightful stories like yours. Yes, at times there are those that choose to actually answer the question (few and far between....lol) and I think alot of times they do so because they feel "free" to be themselves here...away from society's (still) segregated attitude. This is just how I see it. IWantABlackLady...... I totally respect where you and newyorkgirl are possibly coming from (I loved your reference of the "wall"......I think it says alot and put it into prespective for alot of people), but I guess I was just trying to help things not be so polarized. There is a super-sensitivity (I am NOT above this as well) that some of us tend to carry with us when it comes to race. And believe me....more than you probably realize....I "feel" what newyorkgirl was expressing here. The problem is I see both sides to the issue at hand(the dang diplomat in me....lol). We are too quick to let "racism" cover all matters when there is an oversight. In this day and age I see that as being part of the problem. I got the impression that newyorkgirl was speaking of white men in general. She relayed a story that "her friend" told her but left out if the man actually gave a reason for not approaching her on the street. Then newyorkgirl proceeded by using the word "they"...(sounds like a classic case of lumping the good with the bad). This guy could just be shy or maybe it's just not his style, etc. Unless we knew for sure that he would approach white and/or Asian women on the street (via stalking or him just sayin as much)and NOT black women, I don't think we even have a right to assume that race was a factor there. (Newyorkgirl...sorry for dissecting your post here.....I just needed to clarify my stance....peace and love,sis.) Peace and Blessings tatted2death P.S. Much love to Miss Beauty.....LOL.....Yes, I am STILL here. And as always I appreciate your contribution....your sentiments almost always "hit home" with me.....peace and love.
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BeautyBeyondWords says:Posted: 03 Dec 08
Iwantablacklady, Hey... Do you know me? lol... You know what? You are right, I actually do smile a lot And people often call me "sunshine." Thank you. Your words were very sweet. Hey, lets meet.... lol...lol... We don't have any walls here in Illinois! I am a very warm person. I don't like strangers, that is why I never meet one. So, maybe that is the sign that I am wearing, huh?
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sunnygrl999 says:Posted: 03 Dec 08
I am a African-American woman and I've been with my Polish sweetie for almost 10 years and let me say that he is GREAT! I've went out with white men before him, but nothing came out of those dates. I was never, ever been one for being "loyal" to black men. I date who I click with and attracted to. Also we look like a normal professional couple. He didn't pay for this, I'm not after his money, and we are only a couple of years apart so that kills most of the stereotypes about BW/WM relationships right there! I must admit it is funny to see black men with the shocked look on their faces as if they are saying "only we should be able to do that" or white women (esp. the cute blond ones) with the confused ditzy look on their face like "why is he with herrrrrr". LOL I am happy to see BW/WM relationships increasing and I am thrilled to see women/girls under 30 being more open-minded. Girls, if you are interested in a white man (or any man for that matter) a smile and a little eye contact goes a long way. Guys, don't be afraid to approach a black woman. Just look out for the signals and I wouldn't approach a woman in front of her friends. :)
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IWantaBlackLady says:Posted: 03 Dec 08
BeautyBeyondWords A smile goes a long way to bring down walls, I get the feeling you smile a lot, that and your bright personality probably contribute to your beauty beyond words. I would probably get excited if I met you too but I wouldn’t hit on you though, I would court you. I think you should be treated like a lady or a princess. That’s what I want a Lady.
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BeautyBeyondWords says:Posted: 03 Dec 08
Hey EVERYONE! Hey Jarrita Hotsauce. I missed you and you are still holding down the ship up in this blickeeeeee...... I haven't read too many of the newer posts - but from the ones that I have read... It sounds like nothing has changed too much. Iwantablacklady- I don't think its racism, if a white man is hesitant to approach a black woman in the streets. There is a lot of history behind it. The wall is slowly coming down between us, but there was always a wall between black women and white men. Most white men have tried to usually establish a friendship with me first. But, I am getting hit on more and more by white men. I feel like... I got a sign on me that says " I like white men" and they are coming hard. While on this road... I've met a lot of good friends! No one too serious yet.
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IWantaBlackLady says:Posted: 03 Dec 08
tatted God made everyone the way they are, I value gods judgment and his people, everyone from the pure breeds to the mutts and everything in between, I believe god made all of us for a reason, I accept all gods people as being created by a being much wiser than me. We all have equal value and all deserved to be loved. I agree dating the person you want is not racist in any way you are correct, preference is not racist. I agree with newyorkgirl and her point, I understand that to a lot of black women it may seem like a form of racism, if a white man doesn’t approach her but he will approach other women when the white man admits he had interest in the Black Woman that he didn’t approach. She is saying that its not preference that is stopping the white man from approaching her by evidence that he said he would not have approached her on the street but clearly he likes her when he met her on a website. Something else besides preference is going on there. Let’s step back a little here, There was a wall built hundreds of years ago, it was built between black people and white people, it was not built by us, no one alive had anything to do with its initial construction, for generations since, we were all just born into this world on one side of the wall or the other. For many people the wall is gone, for others it is still there in varying degrees. From my prospective, I think, for some black women the wall is still there, that is why it is difficult to meet black women impetuously in a bookstore or gas station, she is not wearing a sign that says “no wall” It’s not that I think she is a savage that will bite my head off, I think that she may have a wall up against me she may not give me a chance, not based on preference, or who I am, not based on how much I can love, value and respect her, not based on the happiness we could have in this life together but just because I’m white, I’m on the other side of the wall and I don’t get a chance, it’s not her fault and its not my fault that’s the world we inherited. I think that is what newyorkgirl and I were getting at, is that preference is not racist, but if something else is going on there we should not blame just try to understand.
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tatted2death says:Posted: 03 Dec 08
Wow!!! The madness has been running rampant here I see.....in all it many (subtle and not-so-subtle forms....LOL). I will be so glad when the whole flippin idea of "race" is seen for what it truly is....a divisive, archaic tool for indentification....nothing more. I know things have a ways to go (especially when you have some that want to be in some "special" category or on some pedestal because of where "the boat made port"....lol) but I believe it is possible Because honestly if you look around you will see that skin-tone and certain features are not exclusive to one group or another. (I believe this is due to "mixing" waaay before it was a big deal and the fact that we all have a common ancestor...but that is a whole other can of worms.) ...but first of all some of us REALLY must go back and re-examine our definitions of "racism". There must be a balance of sensitivity and respect but invading someone's personal preferences is kind of just plain silly. Peace tatted2death
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thekid47 says:Posted: 02 Dec 08
It is wonderful when people find happiness whereever and with whomever they can. I don't know that any thing is gained by using phrases, on any side, like 'these African Americans', or 'these anybody', because it sounds all to much like 'these people'. Quite a stereotyping of a class of persons, not fair or accurate to anyone particularly. It is also worth noting, that saying that when society places 'ideas' in one's head, that it can actually work all kinds of ways-in all kinds of directions. It is unfortunate that guys wouldn't take the time to know you, based on skin tone..:-(, beautiful is beautiful irrespective of skin tone-and I wish you and your guy all of the happiness in the world :-) Respects RedTape..
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RedTape says:Posted: 02 Dec 08
Big up to all the yardies and all the other Caribbean people first of all. :) CaribPrincess, I understand and completely agree with you about how a lot of these African Americans keep thinking that they're the only black people around sometimes. It really gets annoying... Anyway, sticking to the initial topic, I'm very dark skinned and I'm dating a white man right now. Frankly, I don't really have a preference when it comes to skin tone or colour as weird as that may sound, but like all human beings, of course I'm attracted to physical appearance first, but it's mostly about the personality for me. White men seem to be more attracted to me than black men too for some reason. I'm in my early twenties now, and I remember when I was much younger I used to wonder how was it that (I'm from a majority black country) guys at my school and my age on a whole didn't seem to be very interested in me. Most of them went for the "brown girls" (which is slang for the lighter skinned black girls). Some of them still do as eye candy too, but now that I'm an adult and fresh out of my teenage years I can understand that it's what people were socialised to like. The media keeps putting the subliminal image of lighter is more beautiful in our heads. I've had many non-black guys hit on me since I got a little older, and my confidence which was I guess a bit low when I was in high school elevated. I've been dating my guy for over two years now, and we're happy :)
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IWantaBlackLady says:Posted: 01 Dec 08
Comment by newyorkgirl on 21 November 2008: bdsista, I think that your comment is interesting about how white men rarely approach you. Most of the Caucasian males who claim to like women of African descent will not go up to a black lady at a bookstore, gas station, etc. They are always saying that black women are “hard to approach” as if we were savages that were going to eat them. I know a girl who is dating someone from a website and he TOLD her that he would not have approached her on the street. They have no problem approaching white or Asian women so it is not fear of rejection. It is just another form of racism. I agree it is a form of racism and white guys interested in black women should be more aggressive in public, but there are black and white racists, some black women just don't like white guys, I'm just "A man" trying to find the right woman to love not "THE MAN" trying to keep people down. White women have the whole feminist "white men are evil because they want to be in charge of everything" but if we don't want to be in charge then they think we are wusses. Lets face it, the truth is Asian women have the least hang ups towards white men and are in general the most receptive to white men in public. It's a lot less painful to meet black women online because we know they are the ones past the whole racist thing and they just want to find the right guy.
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Captivated says:Posted: 29 Nov 08
Miss CaribPrinces, I have just read a few of your posts and got the impression that to know you must be a life long three dimentional orgasm. Your beauty is astounding, your logic crisp as cristal and I though you should know that a White South African guy (this is not a chip on my sholder, it simply slotting in with the discussion)think you are pretty captivating. Stay Stunning.
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thekid47 says:Posted: 22 Nov 08
I think that part of the problem is, and I have noted it with response to various topics on the site, is that there is so much 'stuff' in terms of stereotypes, preconceived notions of men and women and ethnicities-that it is a challenge to sort that out for some.. I doubt, honestly, that there is something in terms of 'nature' that predisposes someone to a certain 'skin tone'-I think that the evidence for that is short if nonexistent. But I do think that, attraction as such, is, when social morays are removed or reduced-that people perceive in another person, their humanity and something that just 'clicks' with them. That is a longer lasting and deeper encounter, than just something like a 'skin tone' it seems to me-but again, to each their own. Just a personal perspective. If anyone gets the Washington Post, if you get the Friday edition, there is a beautiful, beautiful article on Michelle Obama--and the notions of stereotypes that are out there-- Take a read. Respects to all
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tatted2death says:Posted: 22 Nov 08
The past few reponses have been very interesting (and quite varied.....I love it). First of all I must join Rochi in giving Mr. EJGreen kudos here. That has to be the most balanced response I have seen to date. Mr. Eric t.....I think you are on point with alot of what you had to say there as well. I know at times I can seem "sensitive" to certain issues in here and that has not really changed about me. But I think I am far from being PC. I just feel that somethings are better left unsaid when it comes to certain issues. There is nothing wrong with having preferences but that is totally different from basing everything you say and do (in your interactions with others) on stereotypes. I know sometimes it is hard for some people because they are just hard-wired to be lazy and not take the time to get to know someone on an individual basis. But that is mostly just an excuse. And believe me I am not polly-anna about it....I know in some circumstances there is a need for "quick decisions". Certain assessments must be made and stereotypes could actually save your life. My problem is only when they become the norm. I have never said that "stereotypes" are "evil".....I recognize there purpose....but in a dating scenario I find myself questioning the reason behind why some must continually fall back on them. AND BEFORE ANYONE GET THERE PANTIES IN A BUNCH AND WANTS TO DEBATE THIS....keep in mind I am speaking from my perspective ONLY. Unless you have some genuine theories or personal answers, I AM NOT>>>>REPEAT.....NOT TRYING TO REHASH THIS CRAP!!!!.....peace and love.
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newyorkgirl says:Posted: 22 Nov 08
bdsista, I think that your comment is interesting about how white men rarely approach you. Most of the Caucasian males who claim to like women of African descent will not go up to a black lady at a bookstore, gas station, etc. They are always saying that black women are "hard to approach" as if we were savages that were going to eat them. I know a girl who is dating someone from a website and he TOLD her that he would not have approached her on the street. They have no problem approaching white or Asian women so it is not fear of rejection. It is just another form of racism. Don't worry. The right guy will come along for you soon.
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bdsista says:Posted: 22 Nov 08I am new on the site and enjoyed (most of) the dialogue. Being a bit older, I tended to prefer Black men, although my first dating experiences were with White men and now I simply want someone intelligent, financially stable who can meet me where I am. I have found most white men NEVER approach me and I do not act ghetto. I am a teacher, attorney, image consultant and diversity trainer oh yeah and a bellydancer. But I have always been open to attention from men. So I finally decided to take a leap and go where men of all races are, because my ex-husband was Black/Japanese and so are my cousins. To answer the question? I am not sure, but I would like to find out....
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eric_t says:Posted: 21 Nov 08Yeah, you can make yourself attracted to just about any ethnicity, but back to what I was saying before, why force yourself to like something that fights against your preferences? It's not much different from someone who prefers women who carry a little extra weight. That's just what they prefer. Why is it hard to believe that people can be just as influenced by the same kind of genetic predisposition to desire different tones of skin? I mean, I can appreciate that white women can be very beautiful but at the endo of the day I merely notice it and move on. But I think there is something in my basic makeup that causes me to turn my head for black women as opposed to merely passing by white women without a second glance. I think the touchiness that is coming out a lot in theses posts have everything to do with people trying to force being PC. And while PC is useful to a small degree, we have to learn to accept that sometimes preferences have little to do with racial sterotypes and everything to do with a deeper and more primal instinct to like what we like. If a white person is only attracted ito other white people then it's just a preference. We could analyze whether it's for a social reason or a result of upbringing but we also have to take into consideration that it may simply be built in by nature. If we become too sensitive and let our skepticism try to control what people can think or say we're doing nothing more than pushing a different kind of ethnic tension. I say let things lie where they lie as far as what people prefer. Hey, just cause some people can be attracted to every race doesn't mean that everyone is capable of the same. People like me..., we just like black women. I'm not going to chase after other ethnicities just to prove to someone that all women are equally beautiful. Because you know, to me, they're not. In these eyes, black women hold the crown.
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RoChi says:Posted: 21 Nov 08
EJ Green, my god, please don't apologize! I think those kinds of comments are very tiresome *because* they can apply to every race... but I guess some people need to feel better? I donno. As I stated quite a few times now, confimation bias is powerful (okay, I only referred to confirmation bias, but knowing what it is gets the same point across, no?) That's why I'm here---to hear personal stories about personal relationships and not "black women are confident, can cook, know what they want, blahblahblah." Really, if you *approach* black women you think have these qualities, of course they'll seem like they have them more than other women, and you'll be more attracted to them. I'm telling ya, people think attraction is unavoidable and unpredictable, but even little knowledge of (social/neuro) psychology will tell you otherwise. You can influence very much who/what you are attracted to. But preferences are preferences. Some of us are just lucky enough to not have such narrow(-minded) ones =) Thanks for the response! Nice to hear something different. -RoChi
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EJGreen says:Posted: 20 Nov 08I would just like to say that I, personally, am attracted to black women because they're women. I thought about closing my response after that last sentence but I don't want to come across as a sexual predator. I agree that it's all about physical attraction and preferences. I have the same preferences for women regardless of what color they are. In the opening post it was suggested that white men date black women because “We love a black woman’s confidence, her tenacity and her undeniable achievements in the face of great adversity." Forgive me if this offends anyone but those characteristics can be applied to any woman--regardless of her race. I'm attracted to a women for "who" she is, not "what" she is. If a black woman possesses the the physical qualities that I seek and a spiritual zest for life, I'm not going to discount her because of her color.
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Member says:Posted: 19 Nov 08
we all should look at the fact that we are all pink inside! lol! but seriously, what i get from these comments is that we judge one another badly and sometimes we should just be! life is really simple. if u c something you like go for it!
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Member says:Posted: 19 Nov 08
its amazing how far along the commenting on this topic has gone on for; i really think that white men d8 black ladies cos they laid back and not gold diggers, they are really simple women. if u good to her she will be good to you forever. and you have a higher guarentee that she wont cheat on you. i would love to date a man who will appreciate me for all of me. and love me for me.
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edward says:Posted: 18 Nov 08
I go gaga over a nice down to earth black woman , I know they like to talk alot better than alot of whites and im atteactred to them alot more than white s too, i never had a nice black girlfriend, but id like to and im tired of the so called looking down your noise at others that are totally pious and a total biggot to others other than whites, I mean if it was upto me id have a loving black wife and be talking and happy with her I think alot more than all these totally edgy nervous white woman i see all over the place, Ive always felt like this even when i was young, i always admired the attreactive and down to earth and sensitive black girls alot more than alot of the nervous white woman i went to school with,
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tatted2death says:Posted: 16 Nov 08
Open-minded folk, unite....a lovely and wonderful thing. LONG LIVE THE LOVE OASIS!!!..... yet in must be noted that haters (in whatever slick, sophisticated form they chose) are not welcome....AND yes, I am working" security......AND WHAT?!?!?......LOL. Because let's not forget.....what some see as stating one's opinion others may see B.S.>>>what some see as recognizing the obvious others might see a mask for your own LOW SELF-ESTEEM.....yes, there is such a thing. (AND whoever think that is directed as them....ummmmmm.....it probably IS.....LOL) Peace and love tatted2death
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1sweetblonde says:Posted: 15 Nov 08Interesting topic. I read the article because I'm on the other side of the fence, so to speak. I'm a white female, so I tend to hear from men of color and why they choose to date outside their race. It's interesting how in relationships as with other things in life, "one man's trash is another man's treasure." The very personality traits that repel some are what attract others. What one characterizes as "assertiveness" another calls "drama" and while one sees "tenacity" another sees "stubbornness." Regardless of race, it's all about what makes one person attractive and special to another. In general (physical attraction aside) I think people who date interracially are typically more open-minded. On this site I've encountered people who are educated and very intelligent. They're not afraid to abandon tradition and explore new concepts, new cultures, and new ideas. They're not bound by societal norms. It is this way of thinking that I find most appealing about interracial dating. I like to be with people who are as open-minded as I am. - T
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keepnitsane says:Posted: 15 Nov 08
ok there lie desire and how now to embrace the body and spirit we crave. as in now let us meet, keepn my smile out there and looking.
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BeautyBeyondWords says:Posted: 15 Nov 08
Hmmmm...... Where are you from, again. You just got me... forget what you are saying right now. You looking good in that picture of yours. lol... Now really.... After I just fought to get my mind together.... I like what you brought to the table. It was new and a bit of fresh air. I found it to be real. Thanks cutie....
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geneandthem says:Posted: 14 Nov 08
WOW!!!! eric_t!! That was a wonderfully, great post!!!! You hit it DEAD ON!!!!!! Nice to see someone on point in here! THANK YOU For that post!! Ashley,
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Member says:Posted: 14 Nov 08
WOW, eric_t I loved your post! It was so refreshing to read your words. I might have to ask you out after a post like that.(LOL)
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eric_t says:Posted: 14 Nov 08
So I'm going to attack this from two angles. The first angle is physical attraction. I believe that every person has an their own unique instinctual draw to a great variety of sexual and physical preferences in a mate. A lot of times our culture steers us afar away from what we instinctually prefer. Those of us who have either grown up free to have our preferences or those of us who have broken free of the stigmas that prevent us from wanting what our genetics tell us is ideal get the pleasure of loving who we damn well feel like loving. So all the nonsense aside of the sterotypes that we've all heard and the conditioning we've received as being the reasons we are attracted to who we are attracted to..., I'm attracted to black women because at a very primal and instinctual level my whole body tells me that I WANT A BLACK WIFE. Now maybe the wife part wasn't an instinctual thing, but a beautiful black woman is on a tier so far above the rest to me that nothing in the world can compare. I want to have children with a black woman. Nothing seems to me more instinctually right. Why? I don't know. I guess God made me that way. Or if you're not all that spiritual, random genetic code made me that way. Either way, in the presence of a beautiful black woman that I can see a future with..., my God, it strains every ounce of self-control in me to keep my thoughts as clean as possible. Understand, some people have different genetic callings. Mine is beautiful black women. I don't want a white woman. Mind you, I don't think in any way that their qualities are any less valuable..., they're just not the ones that I prefer. On the second angle..., culturally, I see too many Paris Hiltons walking around town trying to embody the pop image of beauty. To me this comes off as almost souless and disengages my ability to be attracted to a white woman. When people start becoming carbon copies of each other they start to lose their individuality. For the most part I have not seen black women engaging in this kind of behavior. I know that there are versions of this in the black community, but the kind of black women I meet and the kind that I cannot help but want to get to know better are the ones who are intelligent, witty individuals. Each one has great qualities both physical and personal and can think for themselves. They offer more than status quo, they offer a very personal and very lively self. So basically, on this second angle, I am turned off by white american female beauty culture. I'm sure there are a lot of deep Paris Hilton exteriors out there that have life abounding in them but I can't force myself to invest the time in trying hard to like something I don't. On the other hand, an educated intelligent and beautiful black woman can capture my attention simply through body language. And what I love the best about it is that I don't have to overlook some something to notice them. I just do.
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BeautyBeyondWords says:Posted: 13 Nov 08
I thought you were in New York, somewhere.... Jarita Hotsauce. I think your pic looks like you are in the East Coast or something. lol.. Hell, I don't know. I thought you were on the East Coast. Opps... I did it again. lol.... Got the information wrong.
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tatted2death says:Posted: 12 Nov 08
Beauty....crazy sis....Kentucky is only like a 5 hour drive from Chicago....LOL.
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BeautyBeyondWords says:Posted: 12 Nov 08
MackDaddy - You better stop playing with me! lol.... I would almost believe it. lol... You are from one of my favorite states to live in . I used to travel with my job and I would be in AZ for about 4 months out the year. I loved AZ! I met so many people from Illinois, it was unreal. My friend just moved there. When I visit... I am coming to visit you, too. Don't be scurred.....lol And please, don't give me any drama...lol..lol.... Tatted- I didn't know you were from the Midwest! What are you doing on the other side of the world? By the way.... Any single white men from Illinois? lol.. Let's get this party started!
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tatted2death says:Posted: 11 Nov 08
IWantaBlackLady....... I just want to say that I, for one, am not offended by anything you have said thus far. I think some of us are a little too tightly wound when it comes to certain subjects in here (myself included...LOL....not above recognizing AND rectifying this short-coming). I can see where stereotypes are almost unavoidable BUT does that change my view on how I think that they are unnecessary 99.9% of the time????...HAIL TO THE NAW.....lol. Observations are different....in that most times they involve some sort of thought process. Stereotypes are the opposite....most times they just follow what they have heard someone else say or what they might have experienced with a small sampling of said population. I did not mean to attack your observations but I just wanted you to think about what you were saying is all.....I think you did.....Kudos, for being open enough to look at things from another angle without getting bent out of shape about it. What you said did NOT smack of someone trying to "stir the pot". But please don't feel the need to apologize all the time here (or anywhere else for that matter).....like I said....it's really just SOME (intolerant) people that half the time don't even really know what they are talking about (not even knowing and/or staying on the topic at hand). Peace and Blessings tatted2death P.S. just for the record, I am neither sensitive nor apologetic about who or how I am.....LOVE ME OR LEAVE ME ALONE....peace and love, always
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MackWhiteDaddy28 says:Posted: 11 Nov 08
You busted me Doll! Now how am I supposed to hit on you now next time I see you? No, I'm just playin; I ain't trippen. I'm in Love with this $$$ Beauty & that's how I'm liven. 4 U Beauty (is) Beyond Words...beyond measure ;) Without a doubt Girl your a treasure; I betcha shine like rubies, but if I knew ya...I would remember. No 4 real though, I'm actually from the Great State of AZ...Hail Senator McCain...no, I'm just playin with ya! I voted Obama, and the county where I reside was the largest of the 2 counties in AZ that went to Obama; even though McCain has a house 25 miles from here in Sedona. AZ Central.com Obama won Coconino County, which includes Flagstaff
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JohnLove says:Posted: 11 Nov 08I would be nice if we all would look way beyond the color of everyone skin and see the characteristics that we all have within,because what ever spirit we have yeild to in our heart with depend on wheather we stand still of go far.none of our soul has no color, the our bodies is going back to the dustof the earth.all women are made the same way. and so are men like wise.
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To Evolvedmorethanyou, Bingo! While it is more than just one poster-your points are well stated. I have been reading a lot of the blogs across this site, and truly, you know, you wonder about what some are thinking-it is in some ways, as stereotypical as those who would say that one should not date outside one's 'ethnic group'-as I have written before, there is only one race-the human race. Respects to you sir-and well put.