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Why white men love the black woman

Posted by James, 31 Aug

Ever wondered why some white guys, love black women so much?

It seems that being a white male and proclaiming your attraction to black women (not only sexually, but also romantically) may lead to a lot of controversial and dangerous things. Let’s leave the debate of why more black women may be opening themselves up to white guys. The main focus of this debate is: why some white guys are opening themselves to black women. Let’s concentrate on that.

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Most white males don’t feel like they are running short of white women to marry. White males just marry at high rates. So question is: Why black women? The thing is it will not be fair to bundle up black women as one since everyone is their own person… be it in appearance or personality.

However, one thing that a white male friend of mine said… and I let him get away with bundling it all up is: “We love a black woman's confidence, her tenacity and her undeniable achievements in the face of great adversity...᾿ Since this info was coming from a man, there was definitely the mention of the lips, the curves, and that wonderful skin as well.

So what about stereotypes like “black women are either sexually conservative or total sluts?" Many people give so much lip service to interracial dating sites. You would think they have never done it. But those uptight individuals are the ones that spread these stereotypes. What happened to the highly educated black woman? How about the caring, decent and involved black woman?

Probably most white guys and others are confused with the stereotypical trash people spread around and if you are one that falls for such lame ol’ lines, then you sure as hell haven’t dated a black woman.

Bottom line, you don't have to sacrifice who you are for a white guy. They will love you anyway. Just be you and open yourself up… and if you like white guys, some white guy will find you too.

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8097 responses to "Why white men love the black woman"

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  1.   JohnLove says:
    Posted: 11 Nov 08

    Hi,I agree on some of the statement of bigger women,I also think they are attractive,and they don't need to feel sensitive or apopogetic about their size or weight ,there are a lot of very mature men out here that prefer much larger women,seeing a bigger woman in a dress,leaves a very pleasent lasting imopression. on a man.smile.

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  2.   BeautyBeyondWords says:
    Posted: 11 Nov 08

    Mack Daddy, don't you trip! Ain't nutting wrong with a Big Ole' Black Thick girl! I like a thick man! Now what????? lol..... There is nothing wrong with anyone's preference of anything. I prefer Italian food over Mexican Food. I don't like a lot of Mexican Food. I just don't. You are invited to Beauty's Soul Food.....lol... MackDaddy, I don't know why... But it seems like I know you. You are very much like a friend of mine. I often feel like you might be him in disguise...lol... Your comments. Your thoughts. It's weird.

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  3.   IWantaBlackLady says:
    Posted: 10 Nov 08

    I guess I could be in a hornets nest; I’m talking about race and weight. All I’m saying is I am physically attracted to black women with curves that is what I like. But the individual person is more important than looks the connection with the person and the way we make each other feel is what really matters.

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  4.   IWantaBlackLady says:
    Posted: 10 Nov 08

    I didn’t mean to offend, you are right, there are plenty of skinny black ladies and plenty of big women of other races, I meant that models in magazines and actresses are usually skinny white women, they try to make us think that is the definition of beautiful women, although those women are pretty they need to gain some weight they look like boys. I think all women are beautiful it’s just a matter of preference and I prefer bigger women some of them look so gorgeous, it amazes me that they are sensitive or apologetic about their weight I like it like that.

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  5.   RockerChick27 says:
    Posted: 10 Nov 08

    Hi, all! Okay, so after... that... nobody is allowed to say how mean I am to peepz, ktnx. But seriously... I need to move to wherever all you guys live because we have an ethnically equal distribution of dumbfucks where I live. I don’t see white men being oh so much more compassionate and hardworking and blah blah where I live. I mostly noticed a lack of caring when I was growing up, but that wasn’t just with the black men. I find it amusing how seemingly everyone who talks about negative media depiction of black women immediately rest on negative depiction of black men. Let’s all be adults and stop blaming the media and low self esteem for every last thing. Or… at least stop being so choosy about it. I think we all need to look up confirmation bias, choice-supporting bias, a perhaps a… type of illusory correlation . Might do us some good. Okay, I’m out XD -RoChi

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  6.   tatted2death says:
    Posted: 10 Nov 08

    ahhhhhh.....Ash....you are TRULY back, yes????....LOL. I kinda get what keepnitsane is getting at....he (like you dear Ash...lol) is a somewhat passionate about the subject at hand so grammar is pushed to the fringes. I won't try and translate though....lol. Keepnitsane (to address you directly) I totally got what your are saying about Mr. Obama. Did you see that "mutt" comment he made??.....wonderful. Just shows you that not only is this man down to earth but has a wonderful sense of humor about something that is too often taken WAAAAAAY to seriously. Sane, I actually find it quite easy to understand where you are coming from....a place of love and acceptance. I think your "flow" is one of respect. And I definitely can get with that over some who put so much effort into flaunting their vocabulary yet forget alot of the compassion. Don't let people here scare you off, babe (especially Ash....he is just a big teddy bear really....lol)...I like your vibe. IWantaBlackLady I want to thank you for sharing your perspective....I will take positivity over negativity any day....too much of that going around anyway. The fact that you are an individual when it comes to your preferences is really cool....wish more could expand their horizons in that manner. But yeah; I could have gone without the whole comparision thing....because there are women of all races that are full-figured and some others "look like boys" Peace and Blessings tatted2death

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  7.   geneandthem says:
    Posted: 09 Nov 08

    amy11 Black folk are racist to!!!! Wake The F@%$ UP!!! As Are asian, and german, and indian, and hispanic! And oh you being from the Caribbean,,,,,, What about Haitians and dominicans???? Two Different groups of BLACK FOLK that hate each other because of there skin!!!! Sorry all I just hate to see shallow and unthought-threw comments! To general gets you blown out of the water!!! And you coming from the Caribbean can really Talk about "u ppl keep me entertained" I live in the Carib and there is just no room to talk! keepnitsane What are you smokin? You keep posting the same stuff and you are very strange in your post what you talking about dude so I can get on your level? Ash,

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  8.   amy11 says:
    Posted: 09 Nov 08

    i am not an african girl but caribbean oriented u ppl keep me entertained.. I think the reason women of color prefer white men is because the seem usually more educated as well as more romantic and caring... plz don't misunderstand me, men of color are this way too its just that they excercise these qualities a little less. I am 19 and all i really seek in a guy is for them to show some compassion:). Sadly some white men can still be racist which is something I thought was long gone:(.. but the 1 am dating now doesnt seem to care.. and he doesnt just like me because of my looks:)

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  9.   IWantaBlackLady says:
    Posted: 09 Nov 08

    I’m a white Male I think black men and white society have turned their backs on black women because of the stereotypes perpetuated in the media that are not true, they try to tell us what is attractive or desirable or what represents success they try to make black women feel like they aren’t as desirable as other women and its just not true. I see the truth, I am physically attracted to black women because they are the most beautiful women in the world. The black women I have known are down to earth, loving, giving and beautiful only a fool wouldn’t see it. I know what I want, I want to meet the right loyal black woman to love, respect and share my life with. My Personal preference, I am not interested in white or asian women that look like boys, even though that’s what they tell me I should want, I am attracted to full figured beautiful black women.

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  10.   keepnitsane says:
    Posted: 09 Nov 08

    sorry for the multi posting will not happen again :)

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  11.   Member says:
    Posted: 08 Nov 08

    All of my GFs have been black since i was a teenager, growoing up on the island on Trinidad in the Caribbean there was no shortage of East Indian women since half the population is east indian.My attraction to black women is not entirely physical but cultural, black women relate to me easiser that women of my own race.since i was young it was easier to strike up a conversation with black girls, when i grew up, from the age of 1-12,i lived in a community amongst afro-trindadians, so i felt more at home and comfortable with black women. I tried dating women of my own race but i cant understand them.this may sound stupid, but because of my upbringing i feel so distant from women of my own race. I believe that of we all lived in mixed communities we would get over the fear of dating outside our race...what do u think, besided black women are great cooks.....

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  12.   keepnitsane says:
    Posted: 08 Nov 08

    sorta like you'll be a great President Mr Obama, ok lets all embrace no race disciptives, and give the person their due, just for being Human. love to see this happen.

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  13.   keepnitsane says:
    Posted: 08 Nov 08

    sorta like you'll be a great President Mr Obama, ok lets all embrace no race disciptives, and give the person their do, just for being Human. love to see this happen.

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  14.   keepnitsane says:
    Posted: 08 Nov 08

    sorta like you'll be a great President Mr Obama, ok lets all embrace no race disciptives, and give the person their do just for being Human. love to see this happen.

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  15.   RockerChick27 says:
    Posted: 08 Nov 08

    WTF?! It keeps editing it out!!! One more time... when people say "You're a pretty (insert race here) woman" instead of "You're a pretty woman." If it edits it out one more time I'm giving up. -RoChi

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  16.   RockerChick27 says:
    Posted: 08 Nov 08

    Shit... when people say "You're a pretty woman" instead of "you're a pretty woman." Or put your race into the compliment. Sorry for the mess up. -RoChi

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  17.   RockerChick27 says:
    Posted: 08 Nov 08

    I don’t think it qualifies as discrimination if they don’t find you as attractive as what they’re looking for (or possibly they find you attractive but you’re just not what they want, physically). Think of it like this, white men who say they like black women tend to like “black-looking” women, as opposed to women who “have black in them but could pass for white.” You said you track white men, right? Are you attracted to men who “have white in them but look black” or white-looking men? ^_^ Since attraction typically begins with physical attraction, sure it has something to do with sex XDDD But to come to your conclusion simply because they like certain-looking women is off. I’d suggest not going on an interracial site, since, ya know, you look white and you’re looking for white guys who want white-looking girls and all, but whatever. Don’t be so hard on yourself and others, is my advice. I would never join a site like this to actually find a man… something about a man targeting me because I am black is unsettling. It irks me when people say “You’re a pretty woman” instead of “You’re a pretty women.” I guess it ties into what Tatted said (again) about seeing me for WHO I am as opposed to WHAT I am. I don’t care if they do target specific women, though (like I said, we all have preferences). Just don’t say the wrong thing to me and we’ll be fine, hahaha. Are you on regular dating sites? I'd suggest that if you're looking for a date. You might have better luck. Okay, I’m out. -RoChi

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  18.   tatted2death says:
    Posted: 08 Nov 08

    HIya Laureleaves.....welcome to the blog, dearie I have to say can kind of relate to what you are saying there.....there can be a bit of the "not fitting the profile" feeling when dating anyone actually. When some people can't immediately peg you as one race or another they tend to act very confused.....I bet you also get that whole "What are you" rundown which is utterly ridiculous and somewhat insulting. I don't know about you but I get the "confusion" from pretty much every "race" of man I have dated. Sometimes it comes from genuine curiosity....other times guys are trying to make certain "assessments". I know often times when dating black guys I also get the "stepping stone treatment" where they are dating me before they go on to white women or are trying to "come back" from dating them......crrrrraaaaazzyyyyy. But all that aside I think other had good advise......just keep being yourself and the one who is truly meant to "recognize" you for who you are (and not WHAT you are) will come along. Peace and Blessings tatted2death P.S. I truly was homesick for Chi-town that night....Grant Park was an excellent (and historically rich) site for such a wonderful happening. Words can not truly do it justice.

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  19.   keepnitsane says:
    Posted: 08 Nov 08

    so being marked for grammer, and when from the heart most people understand

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  20.   write66 says:
    Posted: 07 Nov 08

    Hi lauraleaves. I agree with sane -- although I can't be as eloquent as he is :)-- in the respect it's bizarre that guys might be giving you the brush off. After reading your profile, you seem like a very nice, down-to-earth lady, and you are quite attractive. It's interesting how some folks are opening their eyes to finally dating outside of their skin pigmentation/race/ethnic background/backyard, yet some maintain a very narrow perspective about their preferences. Keep being yourself and keep the faith. You'll find "him" -- or maybe "he" will find you first. Take care and be blessed, Bill

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  21.   keepnitsane says:
    Posted: 07 Nov 08

    laureleaves hello, the fact your haveing trouble is bizzar and should be a short problem, once seen your face and body structure, most will say mmmmmmm I know I see tasty.

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  22.   laureleaves says:
    Posted: 07 Nov 08

    G-D BLESS OBAMA

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  23.   laureleaves says:
    Posted: 07 Nov 08

    Ok, I have a curveball for you folks...I am a black women,well,bi-racial & extremely light skinned with almost straight hair...so guess what?? I am actually having a problem dating white men on this site b/c I am not dark enough!It is really confusing me.becaue my primary attraction is to whit men, but they are assuming I am white...which shocks me...and then do not immediately go for me...so coul this be another form of discrimination in a sense? Because I wonder if they r looking for a human or a fantasy woman/image already set in their mind?It makes me wonder if they r looking for a human being or sex object outof a magazine fantasy? Like do they have a pre concieve notion of what being "black"really is? What do people think? By the way, most successful black men go for white women more than light skinnewomen too. We get the shaft we yellow bones get the shaft along with everyone else in that respect...j/k (sort of)I also feel I am constantly passed oer for Aisan women because it is ok take them home to mom and dad, but not someone like me....

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  24.   BeautyBeyondWords says:
    Posted: 07 Nov 08

    Hey Mack Daddy! Haven't heard from you in awhile.... I missed you. I thought it was cute! How ya doing out there? I am recovering from the party we had downtown Chicago on Tuesday. I haven't had that much fun in a long time! It was so beautiful. Whites, Blacks, Hispanics, Indians - you name it... were all brothers and sisters that night. I can't begin to tell you how many people I have kissed and hugged! We danced. We laughed. We hollared. No violence. All you can hear is the sounds of WE DID IT! AND O-B-A-M-A ! Words couldn't express the level of energy our city had for the victory of our new president!

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  25.   RockerChick27 says:
    Posted: 06 Nov 08

    I would say that I found it humorous as well, MWD, but that'll diminish everyone's opinion of you to 10 fold, so I won't. Haha, Chronik----and I'M harsh?! Hehehehe. -RoChi

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  26.   MackWhiteDaddy28 says:
    Posted: 06 Nov 08

    Just messin with you hater. Ok wiseguy, I'll keep it simple. a simple discussion between intelligent adults, which you do not seem to be That's why I'm getting ready to graduate BSCE with an extended major in Engineering in a few short months. So you might want to keep your judgments to yourself...hater I actually just did that, because I have a sick sense of humor, and I found it quite amusing.

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  27.   Chronik says:
    Posted: 06 Nov 08

    Hey MackWD...wtf are you talkin about? I dont think anyone is on here to get lucky. To look for their mate. It is just a blog, a simple discussion between inteligent adults, which you do not seem to be

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  28.   keepnitsane says:
    Posted: 06 Nov 08

    just said it like I feel... Im in PA central

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  29.   MackWhiteDaddy28 says:
    Posted: 06 Nov 08

    I'd put my pic on here, but then...none of the other guys would have a chance....

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  30.   BeautyBeyondWords says:
    Posted: 06 Nov 08

    EVERYONE IS INVITED! No Gene, I am from Illinois! But, hey you are invited! Thanks Chronik! Come on Boo!

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  31.   Chronik says:
    Posted: 05 Nov 08

    lol....geneandthem...lol...i know right?...it sounds like he translated it from chinese.

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  32.   geneandthem says:
    Posted: 05 Nov 08

    UMMMMM? Was that a sentence??? WOW!!!!!!!!!! Beauty did you say you live near Tx? If so i need that addy!!! Ash.

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  33.   keepnitsane says:
    Posted: 05 Nov 08

    I've read over your site back in to the 2007 early months, and wish to state my reasoning is when I was in school I was always interested in the shape and silky smoothness I percieve and the body proportionet that draws eye and spirit stimulation, I see a fine brown skin and sigh at the marvel and the beauty, I just want to touch and taste....as a choice black woman is over powering to all my scences.

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  34.   Chronik says:
    Posted: 04 Nov 08

    hey Beauty....you just made me hungry girl. Can I come over for your holliday feast?

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  35.   BeautyBeyondWords says:
    Posted: 04 Nov 08

    I hope everyone is getting their vote ON tomorrow! I can't wait! I am so excited. Tomorrow after work, we are heading to downtown Chicago to Grant Park to celebrate history forever! Hopefully, it won't be TOO cold! (Thinking about Obama)- I find it interesting how this man came from the whitest of the white and the blackest of the black. Yet - At this time in history seem to be bridging the gap of both worlds. Can't chat too long tonight. I have to go work out and I am dreading every last minute of it. But, the holidays are quickly approaching and my kitchen will be popping and so will my appetite! lol... Greens... Cornbread... Turkey & Dressing.... Homemade Mac & Cheese... Potato Salad... Homemade Banana Pudding... Sweet Potato Pies... You name it... I am cooking it. You name it and I am eating it! lol... Hey Ash.. I am turning this lounge into Beauty's Soul Food! lol... Everyone is invited! Come on in ya'll. Have a seat. May I take any orders? Okay... I am hungry!

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  36.   RockerChick27 says:
    Posted: 03 Nov 08

    Hiiiii Chronik! I am not picking on anyone. Seriously. That was complete bullshit no matter how people want to justify it and you and that other dude said it was good? I’m not sure if you were kidding though. I just don’t like the idea of people taking subjective advice and applying it to others. I mean really. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I know I’d hate for someone to act like how an instruction manual told them to. It’s so unromantic and… eck. Get to know me and figure out what I like. I’ll tell you. No instructions needed. Especially stereotypical ones. I just picked it apart so people would see how silly it is. Please please, if you find something wrong with anything I am saying, tell me about it. I appreciate that in people. Actually, I really dislike people who don’t speak their minds and just allow things. It’s one of the big things that’s wrong with the world. How many times has Groupthink allowed stupid-as-shit things to happen in the gov.? Don’t worry about hurting feelings---some things need to be said (so long as you’re keeping it factual and not lashing personal attacks). I guess it’s like what Tatted said before… I know that people are reading this and I am mindful of that. But thanks for saying something about it =) -RoChi

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  37.   Chronik says:
    Posted: 03 Nov 08

    RoChi, you just love to pick apart and criticize what everyone says don't you? I guess that what keeps this thread interesting though, and keeps me coming back to it. So I don't see anything wrong with what you say. You are one of the top contributors of this site.

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  38.   BeautyBeyondWords says:
    Posted: 03 Nov 08

    Hello... Red! I am not asking about Jungle Fever... lol.... How are you? Where are you from? Let's talk about you, right now. ( Yes, I am flirting)

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  39.   RockerChick27 says:
    Posted: 03 Nov 08

    Oh... and welcome! >.> -RoChi

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  40.   RockerChick27 says:
    Posted: 03 Nov 08

    -----Skip this post, everyone, seriously----- I am going to have to reject your post, Abenaa, for it being ridiculous and subjective. I really hope you’re kidding and that no one takes it seriously. “'i have been attracted to black women since i was nine’, ok this is just creepy need i explain LOL” Speak for yourself. I don’t find attraction in itself creepy at all. I see this as a simple fact. No harm done. “'black women are more sensous or they have sexy bodies no woman wants to be looked at as a sexual object’, especially the average sister who may not be sure why you are approaching her in the first place, given the history” How exactly does thinking one is sexy turn them into a sexual object? That’s as lame and simple-minded as those yuppies who claim that porn and prostitution ‘turns’ people into sexual objects. No matter what those overly-sappy romance novels tell you, physical attraction is where it starts. Sure, it can develop into more—as it should in a serious relationship—denying physical attraction or acting like it is bad is childish. "'i prefer african or caribbean women, the real black women, they dont have those ghetto attitudes’" theres a whole list of rasons why this is wrong, no disrespect to my african sisters, but American black women and west indian black women are just as black and for you to refute that is flagrant racism, also to assume that every BA ( black american) woman has a sour negative attitude is ignorant >.> Do you not understand what generalizations or exceptions are? Travel anywhere. Many peepz who have been in America vs. other places will tell you that the black women there have ghettoer and more unpleasant attitudes. Does this mean ALL of them? Duhno. Your premise is also silly. Seeing as “black woman” is as arbitrary as every other racial term, therefore reducing it to a subjective concept, any black woman anywhere can be classified as “not black enough” to anyone. Seriously, we’re not going to act like “black” is an objective termination, right? If they prefer Caribbean or African black women to every other black woman, it is a preference and this quote is gravely misplaced. It’s the same as preferring white men to black men. (Damn I wish I could italicize that last sentence.) “‘i like black women more, they are ( insert adjective here) white women are just ( insert other adj)’” any possibilities of real interest fly out the window there, dont compare women, black, white, asian, whatever, if you have a ax to grind with white women, that is a personal issue. I find it annoying as well, but it is silly to assume that everyone is the same and that some things are not more prevalent in some races than others. Remember, generalizations and exception to the rule. Let’s not forget that the overwhelming majority of these opinions are based on personal experience. Guess what? If the majority of black women you are around are rude as shit (which is the case for me) andwhite women tend to be… less rude, then it is true for that person in the particular environment. Of course, confirmation bias and self-serving bias are to be considered as well. “’most of the black guys date white women these days, black women should branch out more’ if that could be taken as fact, which it can't be, who wants to hear something as crass as that, are you asking me out for revenge or what, do you hold some cynicism against IR relationships and general and see me as a way to get back at black men, there may be disparities in the black community on this issue of black men and black women, but its wise not to bring it up because it will seem condescending, and it is” I don’t quite see how what you quoted equals your explanation, but to each his own, I suppose. Firstly, most black guys still date and marry black women. Movie stars aren’t a representative sample. I see the quote as more of a rationalization, so I don’t put much weight behind it. If that’s why they want to interracially-date (and I don’t see what’s wrong with that), then so be it. Stop complaining. “’color doesnt matter to me’ lets face it, in this society it does matter, on a socio economic level at least,and there is still racism, while its great that you have no problem reaching out to someone across color lines, realize that it is an issue and it will not just go away because you dont see it that way.” This is so silly. Why can’t a person genuinely not care about what color their mate is? You see, there is a different between color and race. Race is so arbitrary it changes with the country. Fuck that. It’s not that widely shared. Not to mention that many races share colors. Your biggest problem is that you apparently ignored the “to me”, There’s a difference between “color doesn’t matter,” and “color doesn’t matter to me”. “do not make sexualy overt comments, or maybe again you should, this would reveal your true motives and maybe save the woman some time, to be seen as a sexual tryst or someones wet dream for most women.. isnt flattering.” What’s wrong with liking sex? LE GASP! Maybe they’re looking for a fuck buddy. Proof for the last statement? I’m detecting False Consensus Effect. “overall respect yourself and respect each other brothers and sisters.” Okay, that’s a good one, though I never really say this. Respect is so subjective and usually “BAWWW only act how I want you to act NO EXCEPTIONS bawwww!” CONCLUSION! Omfg, don’t act like all black women or even the majority are like this. If YOU are like this, then fine. State that it is about YOU. Don’t go giving rules (like these) to men. This is probably why we have so many clueless people. Trying to remember rules of a dating book instead of paying attention to how the person acts and responding accordingly. -----To clarify, I really don’t give a fuck who reads this or who cares about what I wrote. I am just putting this out there because shyte like this is annoying----- -RoChi

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  41.   Red says:
    Posted: 02 Nov 08

    I am a white guy that has always enjoyed the company of black women. Since Abenaa has set some ground rules. (which is very good and informative). I want to bring up one for the redheads. Its not nice to always assume red-head or blondes love black women. the last girl that approached me said "hey white-boy do you want the jungle-fever". Now even though that sounds erotic its always best to start out a conversation with hello..what is your name. (some of us are christians) All things aside i truly enjoy being around any woman that still holds good christian values, likes to laugh and poke fun on a none-serious level. Just says what they feel without walking on egg-shells around her man. And that just so happens to have been the black women in my life.

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  42.   Chronik says:
    Posted: 01 Nov 08

    Hello Abenaa, I really loved your post and everything you have to say. But I have one question regarding one of your statements. The one that read: ""i have been attracted to black women since i was nine", ok this is just creepy need i explain LOL" Do you consider that would be creepy just for the fact of 9 being too young to be attracted to anyone let alone a certain race? Because I can honestly say that ever since I've been interested in women in general, its been black women that I've been attracted to the most. By far actually. I just get really turned on by dark skinned women. Do you think that's wrong for me to say that? Do you consider that creepy?

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  43.   Faith1965 says:
    Posted: 01 Nov 08

    Hello all, This is my first time on this site, and wow, there are a lot of posts. I ended up scanning through them so please excuse me if I am being redundant. As far as why white men love black women...first, let me say, from my perspective, "love" signifies adoration, to cherish which encompasses respect, being protective of etc. So, are we really talking about "love" or "attraction" here? If we were talking about "love" I think we would see more white men/black women dating leading to marriage. If we are talking about attraction, I would say it is simply preferences fueled by many things to include life experiences, stereotypes, culture etc. btw, Abenaa, that was an excellent post!

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  44.   mike says:
    Posted: 01 Nov 08

    ladies if any black women are in OKC and want to talk to a white guy, hit me up on mikedawg8705@yahoo.com. instant messenger

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  45.   Abenaa says:
    Posted: 31 Oct 08

    tips for white guys i think alot of y ou have honorable intentions, yet i notice a pattern, so to avoid those faux pas, these are things y0ou shouldnt say to a black woman, period. "i have been attracted to black women since i was nine", ok this is just creepy need i explain LOL "black women are more sensous or they have sexy bodies no woman wants to be looked at as a sexual object", especially the average sister who may not be sure why you are approaching her in the first place, given the history "i prefer african or caribbean women, the real black women, they dont have those ghetto attitudes" theres a whole list of rasons why this is wrong, no disrespect to my african sisters, but American black women and west indian black women are just as black and for you to refute that is flagrant racism, also to assume that every BA ( black american) woman has a sour negative attitude is ignorant i like black women more, they are ( insert adjective here) white women are just ( insert other adj) any possibilities of real interest fly out the window there, dont compare women, black, white, asian, whatever, if you have a ax to grind with white women, that is a personal issue. " most of the black guys date white women these days, black women should branch out more" if that could be taken as fact, which it can't be, who wants to hear something as crass as that, are you asking me out for revenge or what, do you hold some cynicism against IR relationships and general and see me as a way to get back at black men, there may be disparities in the black community on this issue of black men and black women, but its wise not to bring it up because it will seem condescending, and it is "color doesnt matter to me" lets face it, in this society it does matter, on a socio economic level at least,and there is still racism, while its great that you have no problem reaching out to someone across color lines, realize that it is an issue and it will not just go away because you dont see it that way. do not make sexualy overt comments, or maybe again you should, this would reveal your true motives and maybe save the woman some time, to be seen as a sexual tryst or someones wet dream for most women.. isnt flattering. overall respect yourself and respect each other brothers and sisters.

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  46.   BeautyBeyondWords says:
    Posted: 30 Oct 08

    Oh, and another thing.... I don't want to sound ancient - Too Late! But, I am 31yrs old. I am looking for a good man, not a fine man. The older you get, I think the less looks mean to you. A man can be fine and stress you the hell out and then what? lol.... Lately, I've been meeting some good men that happen to be fine. We'll see the outcome of that. Attraction comes in the form of many things, baby girl. In this life... I've seen many "beautiful" girls end up on drugs and have no teeth. My point is... Beauty fades....Character lasts a lifetime. Don't get so caught up in the way you look, because in the end - it means what? A boy will chase every behind. You ain't got the best one. Believe that! But a Man will marry a mind! Remember that, girlfriend! You be extremely bless!!!!!!!

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  47.   BeautyBeyondWords says:
    Posted: 30 Oct 08

    Thanks, my sistah... I appreciate the love and I definitely feel it. I hope you feel mine, too! Now gimme hug..... lol... lol... Yes, I have experience the love of a white man, blkqwn. If you don't be carefull, it will blow your mind - in most incidents. Sometime, I think black men think that because the sex is often good - they can get away with murder. That is why they can be so prideful and so arrogant, not realizing that white men do have it going on, too. I see women in relationship with black men who are strictly there for companionship (is that spelled right? - forgot) and sex. What happens after that? We can't have sex all day and all night and nobody ever works or leave the position.... Sounds good - but really.... Can you tell your electric company that your man has good sex, so don't turn my lights off? White men caters to the need of his woman in and out of bed. That is what I am talking about. With me... What you do OUT determines your outcome IN... lol...lol... Sex starts before you get to the bed. With me anyway....

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  48.   Blkqwn7 says:
    Posted: 30 Oct 08

    Hey guy's I am 43-year-old Black sistah, since I acknowledge white women as my sister's too. I have dated white men now man for over 10 years and I will say I have been pleasantly surprised. Honestly, I did not expect the sext to be as good as it is, and what the hell is up with their stamina? Remember that energizer bunny for engergizer batteries, man white men have a built in recharge or something. Truth, you say a lot to demean my sistah's, but many of us that I can tell this blog have no problems in the English department, misght I suggest that you find more classy American Black women to hang around. However, I do agree that native African women are cultured creatures and I find them to be more agreeable to have as friends than my Black American Sistah, we just know too much and society have taught us to be against each other's than for each other's. Personally I need the Black woman as much as I need the man, when he let's me down, gurantee my sistah will not. There are many classy Black American women Truth, you sound hurt my dear. Gettin back to the thread. I will admit, even though Whtie men have been after my ass since I grew tit's, leg's and behind. Initially I didn't pay any attention, not really thinking anything, but a little surprised and thinking hell no! Of course after being hurt by my brother's for so long, I became curious, once I crossed that line I said it was going to take a hell-of-a-brother to pull me back, why settle for less when I am having it so good? Not to say my beautiful black men are less, they just tend to give less sometimes. Truth ther is a whole host of reason's why Black men have decided to broaden their horizon, many for love and a lot due to hate and racism. I don't believe in putting down people to make myself look good, so I will not disrespect White women who aren't disrespecting me. In saying this I believe Whie men who date black women are just attractive to us. I personally, have never felt the need to ask a man of any color why they are dating me, I know why I am not only dam attractive I am a bad ass college educated, mean ass cook, I actually enjoy cooking, Battle between Rachel Ray, Emril, Paula Dean and Martha. Don't let the cooking fool you I wear a size 2/3 ladies, thanks to yoga and good diet and know what the hell I am doing in the bed, what fool wouldn't be attracted to me? Toot Toot! Have to say though love my brother's and I do miss them, can't lie about that! Love the discussion, but think the topic is lame, why do White men love Black women, are you kiddin why not we are all that and a bag of chips? peace!

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  49.   enter-racial says:
    Posted: 29 Oct 08

    For me dating black women is strictly a physical thing. Some poeple would disagree, but then again, those are the same poeple who say that personality or humor is what they look for in a partner. Screw that. The point of a partner is sexual attraction, otherwise the person would just be one of your friends. So looks ARE very important. But yeah, if your ugly yourself, then of course you'll have no say in this and will just accept what you get or justify it by saying that looks don't matter. SinceI find black women in general more attractive then white women, then that is who I seek out. I don't care if they are african or afro-american. But since I like them dark, I wouldn't settle for a hispanic or Indian. I need that dark ebony skin to get my rocks off. Crass but true.

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  50.   tatted2death says:
    Posted: 29 Oct 08

    Yes, Beauty I certainly try and focus on that "90%" in nearly every aspect of my life (from relationships/friendships to career matters to how I view myself). Focusing on the positve is always a better tactic for me (I DO have my lapses but once I get it out of my system I move on,...lol). I have this whole weird Love/Hate thing going on with the entire human race. Part of me is very much a people-person and loves to interact with others, but there is another side that usually gets irritated/bored with the banal and crass qualities that lots of people have no problem displaying to me. The result is I am bascially a happy loner....lol. Someone that will gladly accept others' short-comings as long as they don't attempt to derail my life. All those that love "drama" are not welcome in my world...LOL. So I end up just having a very tight circle of people that I consider "close" to me. ANYWHO....lol. Beauty, you know I have that mutual love for you and your posts as well. I pretty much have always seen you diplay that ilusive "balance" that I go on about so much and I always enjoy the spirit with which I see you express yourself.....peace and love. Blessings tatted2death (aka Jarrita Hotsauce....LOL)

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