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Why white men love the black woman

Posted by James, 31 Aug

Ever wondered why some white guys, love black women so much?

It seems that being a white male and proclaiming your attraction to black women (not only sexually, but also romantically) may lead to a lot of controversial and dangerous things. Let’s leave the debate of why more black women may be opening themselves up to white guys. The main focus of this debate is: why some white guys are opening themselves to black women. Let’s concentrate on that.

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Most white males don’t feel like they are running short of white women to marry. White males just marry at high rates. So question is: Why black women? The thing is it will not be fair to bundle up black women as one since everyone is their own person… be it in appearance or personality.

However, one thing that a white male friend of mine said… and I let him get away with bundling it all up is: “We love a black woman's confidence, her tenacity and her undeniable achievements in the face of great adversity...᾿ Since this info was coming from a man, there was definitely the mention of the lips, the curves, and that wonderful skin as well.

So what about stereotypes like “black women are either sexually conservative or total sluts?" Many people give so much lip service to interracial dating sites. You would think they have never done it. But those uptight individuals are the ones that spread these stereotypes. What happened to the highly educated black woman? How about the caring, decent and involved black woman?

Probably most white guys and others are confused with the stereotypical trash people spread around and if you are one that falls for such lame ol’ lines, then you sure as hell haven’t dated a black woman.

Bottom line, you don't have to sacrifice who you are for a white guy. They will love you anyway. Just be you and open yourself up… and if you like white guys, some white guy will find you too.

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8097 responses to "Why white men love the black woman"

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  1.   james1973 says:
    Posted: 29 Oct 08

    caribprinces sounds very bitter and racist plus she says things that let you know that she's not an anthropoligist. grotty got a white persons picture on their profile and tried to fake everyone out.

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  2.   lizisamilf says:
    Posted: 29 Oct 08

    When it comes to race, I think too much is made of nothing. To say that I am attracted to white men because they treat me better than black men would be a lie considering that I have had white men do things that may/or may not be characteristically considered to be primarily done by black men. With that said, I look at it based on physical attraction and do not understand why anyone else cannot view it as such. To me it's no different than saying I like a fit dude, or someone who can dress dance or sing. It's merely a preference. The only difference maybe that white men are becoming more vocal about to black women and vice versa. AND that it is lasting longer than a fling or something that the two needed to get out of their system. Either way I say do what makes you happy just as long as it isn't at the expense of someone being hurt.

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  3.   BeautyBeyondWords says:
    Posted: 29 Oct 08

    BY THE WAY.... DON'T FORGET TO VOTE! There is power in that. Our STRENGTH comes in numbers! Too many people have given their life - for your rights. We all have the power to make changes!

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  4.   BeautyBeyondWords says:
    Posted: 29 Oct 08

    I loved your comment, as well - Jaritta Hotsauce. Your comments are always Hot...lol... I agree with everything you said, too. Although, I don't mind being the weaker vessel... I love business. I can make very good decisions. I am strong. But when it comes to my man... I am the weaker vessel. If he wanted a man.. He could have one (now a days).... But he has me ( A strong beautiful black woman that can be what I need to be in business, but a flower at home). BUT UNDERSTAND.... I don't take care of men. I don't believe in this new thing... Women work and the men stay at home playing video games. Once again.. A man should always lead- And not from behind. But yes.. Women can be what ever they want to be now. You see with the elections... who would have ever thunk it?... Women (Hillary, not Patlin) with the potential to run the white house, probably better than a man. Woman are very smart and if you want to keep it real.... We are more smarter than our men counterparts (sorry guys)... My only thing is this... MAKE US MAD. LOL..LOL... There could be hell to pay. lol..lol... I was cracking up at your "militant feminist" comment. Strong women need to be appreciated. Strong men need to be celebrated. Strength is an inner beauty. When times get tough. And your valleys seem so low... When everything seems to be against you... What's in you - will come out... A man wouldn't be able to walk away from his family. Instead of excuses... you'll have results... Your faith would be activated and your inner strength will shine through!

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  5.   BeautyBeyondWords says:
    Posted: 29 Oct 08

    Rochi... Very valid... Very interesting.. I definitely agree with the "only one for me" notion; although, I like to believe things like that. I've seen relationships that seem so fairytale... so real... so like soulmates... There is no perfect person. There is no perfect relationship... I've learned to live by the 90/10 in my relationships. My pastor took his family to the park and they had some bird seeds that they were throwing in the grass. So the seagulls come flying from everywhere. One area had only a small amount of bird seeds to eat. The other area was full of bird seeds.The seagulls began to fight over the bird seeds in the small area. My pastor said... It gave him a revelation, how we fight over little things, when there is so much more on the other side. They didn't have to fight.. It was way more on the other side. We focus on the little things that we don't like about a person, instead of focusing on the 90% we do like. If we could focus more on the positive... Although there is no perfect person, nor perfect relationship... Things could move more happier in both lives. Think about it Tatted and Rochi...lol...lol.. You guys are like sisters. Can't stand each other... but love is not too far. lol...lol... Start focusing on the 90%. Your comments Rochi... were on point. Thanks for the compliment!

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  6.   RockerChick27 says:
    Posted: 28 Oct 08

    I didn't read all of what you wrote, tatted, but I can relate... in a different way. Revising: "YOU ONLY DATE WHITE BOYS CUZ BLACK MEN DON’T WANT YOU " to "YOU ONLY DATE WHITE BOYZ CUZ YOU KNOW BLACK BOYZ CAN’T SUPPORT YOU!” I’m almost completely blind---I have a little more than five percent of my total vision left. (For those of you wondering how I am replying to this, thank God for screen-reading programs.) It was a pretty fast progression, going from being able to see perfectly two years ago and, in the course of two years, being diagnosed and losing most of my vision. I had a friend tell me, “You got it right, dating a white boy who can support you, ‘cause, honey, you know no black man can!” There was more said that really made me mad, but I don’t want to get into it. Both the first and second quotes were implied in the conversation and it was tiring. I really don’t even know where I am going with this. I know that the need to belong is so strong that we often create similarities in ourselves that are quite binding and they’re hard to recognize as destructive. High School was REALLY hard for me because I didn’t fit into that ghetto black chick clique (with the first two schools). There weren’t many racial issues, but it was really divided. Even though I didn’t want to “feel” any imaginary connection with the black group, I felt like I had to pick sides. And the one I chose… it was the right one but I still cry sometimes about the experience. This reminds me of the age-old question: “Is it better to be loved for what you are not, or hated for what you are?” -RoChi

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  7.   tatted2death says:
    Posted: 28 Oct 08

    I also have to agree with Rochi here on the whole issue of "the one/soulmates"......I tend to believe there are more "spirit siblings" out there. And from those we have a choice of who to partner with on life's path...(not being "incestuous"....LOL). And yes, there are so many things that encompass us as women...as human beings. Culture/race is just one component.... Wow..who knew "middle-schoolers" could agree with "adults"????LMAO....Ok...I lied...I responded...lol...but at least I stayed ON TOPIC. And Hey, I never said that, Rochi didn't have some interesting, intelligent, and valid points. And the diplomat in me always likes to agreeable whenever possible.....SUE ME...LOL. CHATTY!!!!...Woman, what's shaking??? As you can see I have been acting as "bouncer/security" for the Oasis Lounge.....LOL....just can't help myself sometimes; the kid in me has that lil mischievious side I suppose....tee hee. Tell me how the writing has been coming....I think it is super how we have sort of inspired one another (well, at least I know you have inspired me...LOL) in that arena. In fact there are quite a few women here that inspire me. From Copperlovley who is just amazing.....(and not simply because she is nearly a sexagenarian that looks just as good as a sexy teeny-boober....LOL.) to Smooches, who is just as sweet as she is balanced in her viewpoints, many of the women here reaffirm my belief that we CAN all get along. (in spite of some other wack stereotypes). I don't think it is being too "pollyanna" to want to be positive and support each other in this forum. For some it is truly difficult to embrace the fact that they have options in dating/partnering. Some/many of us have been so conditioned to believe that to "date outside our reace" meant that we were less than nothing. How many of us have heard "YOU ONLY DATE WHITE BOYS CUZ BLACK MEN DON'T WANT YOU". Many are called "sellouts" simply because we don't "buy-in" to someone else's opinion on who should be OUR ideal mate. In the face of such nonsense, I find it to be a wonderful thing that women of color can cheer one another on in all aspects of our lives. I know I really don't know anyone on here personally, but I don't think that means I can't recognize "cool people" when I see them. And ALL the women on here at the moment seem to be just that. Peace and Blessings tatted2death P.S. YES, I really meant that last bit....LOL. When I "call someone out" that doesn't mean I don't still "have love" for them (no matter what simple opinion they might have of me)....TRULY.

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  8.   tatted2death says:
    Posted: 28 Oct 08

    ****Well you know that has been a mutual feeling there, Ash....since day one...lol. I will always be your "blog concubine"....j/p...All respect due to your, no doubt, lovely bride-to-be. SEND ME THOSE PICTURES, MAN....lol.*** to Beauty: That was an excellently posed question. I think too many women of color worry about the whole "staying true to the race/culture" thing that they lose all sense of how to just be happy.....just be a woman....just be....PERIOD. Truth is, regardless of anything else, we ARE AMERICAN and that is a culture within itself. It means that we are entitled (whether we realize it or not) to cross those so-called racial barriers. We have been thrown together in this "melting pot" and I don't it should continue to be an "oil and water" concoction. We are ALL "gumbo-people" here...a beautiful mix of all the wonderful flavors of the cultural palate. We embody the wonder of the rainbow pallete that nature clearly intended for us....all shades of lovely earthy browns, sweet peach-tones and sun-kissed tans. It would be a travesty for women especially to continue to feel some duty (more like "burden") to preserve some sort of "purity" that does NOT exist in the country (possibly the entire world if you really think about it). Even before the time of Christ people crossed all sorts of boundaries in terms of race/color/religion.....why are we still trippin???....LOL. I think strength comes in many forms. And while there is truth in what you say about men being the backbone of any culture, I think times are changing. Women have shown time and time again that they can be just as strong as men(in many ways), if not stronger. It has been the "Great Deception" that women are the weaker sex. But don't get me wrong. I am not going all "militant feminist" on you.....lol. I actually think the next phase in this "changeover" is the test of "how will women handle their true power". We will be confronted with the question of "Can we truly unite with men and not let the competition factor get in the way". Women have been sold the idea that there power is only of a sexual nature, but what's going to happen when women realize there "total-being- force". I, for one, think it is going to be a beautiful thing especially if the men come along for the ride and recognize that they have a very intrical part in the whole process. We are meant to complement one another....this is so true. But I refuse to be blind to my own singular strength and not give props to other women out there doing more that just "maintaining". Yet on the flip-side I do see the lack accountability being a plague, in general. People are so quick to find some disorder to excuse their irresponsible and inconsiderate behavior.....okokokokok.... .....I think I tapped into that same "mercurial-mind syndrome" that you have going on right now, Beauty. But isn't it really cool when you "awaken" to different issues and points of view. Your mind is almost like that of an infant...almost like seeing things for the first time....there is BEAUTY in that...LOL.

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  9.   RockerChick27 says:
    Posted: 28 Oct 08

    Wow Beauty, that was a wonderful response to the question! I really like reading what you write XD As for my answer, I'll say that it doesn't because your culture can't always define you. Despite what society wants to say, there is no specific way a black woman (or any person) is "supposed" to act (naturally [you know what I mean >.>]. Psychologically, we ascribe "roles" to people... just to keep it "smooth," but it doesn't always work that way!). If you're doing it right, you're supposed to find someone who *compliments* you, not someone who is your identical twin. Compliments come in all shapes and sizes, even though we want to believe that there's only that "one" special person. I hate that notion. Aside from the notion that, with OVER seven billion people on Earth, there's only ONE for you(?! which is beyond pathetic, if ya ask me), it often leaves room for unrealistic standards (which I touched on before). He HAS to be black. He HAS to be tall. He HAS to comfort ALL my needs. He HAS to have all the right words to say 100% of the time. He HAS to be perfect. NO EXCEPTIONS! Fantasizing is alright but not when you start confusing dreams with reality. That being said, people can change you, but your race doesn't raise you. Your culture doesn't make you. Your nationality doesn't shape you into who you are today. They all only influence you. And it's a fairly limiting culture if it only allows you to interact and mate with one type of person. Breeding ground for prejudice, anyone?!?!!! ----- That's exactly why I'm not going to talk to you anymore, tatted. With everything I say, you respond like a middle schooler. Little children just aren't as fun to mess with as adults. -RoChi

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  10.   geneandthem says:
    Posted: 28 Oct 08

    Ahhhhhhhhhhh!Thank you tatted I think I love you!!!!

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  11.   BeautyBeyondWords says:
    Posted: 28 Oct 08

    What's going on lounge? Just lounging... Just lounging... Big UPS to everybody... Hey Legal! Hey Chatty Cupid... Smootches... Jarita Hotsauce.... Hey Copper! I don't think, we've met. How you doing gurl? What's up to the entire lounge? I don't want to grow up... I'm a ToyZ R Us Kid!!!!!! Life is great. I feel like a baby (me) in a toy store (this big ole world).. There is so much to do ... So much to explore... So much... God is truly a good to ME! You are right, Chatty... There class vs trash in every group. I like a bit of everything! It's wonderful to hear that your sister has found true love. Love is beautiful. Love is gentle... Love keeps no record of wrong... Love is pure... It's so refreshing, when you are with someone who loves you... We can take it further and also add... Respect you... Celebrate you... Encourage you... Girl, I done fell in love with love! I pray that their love continues..... Where there is no end. A question that someone asked me was this.... Do I think that dating a white man changes who I am, as an African American Woman? Does it take the strength away from the culture? Well, ladies, what do you think? It doesn't change, who I am. And if it does, Love changes ME for the better. What changes me is when a man is disrespectful... and does not recognize, nor practive the manhood that God ordained him to have. I love for a man to be a man. I am a woman.. And I LOVE BEING A WOMAN. Strength is taken from any culture, when you have a weak back man. It has nothing to do with race or culture. Strength is taken away, when I see our young men growing up without a father figure. Strength is taken away, when homes are being operated by single women ( and I am operating one). Strength is taken from a culture, when you don't take responsibility for your actions. A man not being a man takes strength from any situation... any culture... anything... So, If I am dating a strong white man and he is the example that I would want my son to be.... Then there is strength in him being a positive example for him. It could only add. Thought for today: People define you on what you do... Who cares what you say! If you are man- Act like one This is not a test. Have so much on mind that wants to come out..I hope no one is confused! Ha!Ha!

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  12.   tatted2death says:
    Posted: 28 Oct 08

    For this next post I apologize to Legalease and Legalease ONLY...(she knows why...LOL....I am sorry but I can't resist). DID SOMEONE SAY COSTUME??????....ok...in the spirit of Halloween (Samhain, Day of the Dead, whatever you're feeling) I will put on my "Rochi-hat" and pretend that everything I say really means something to everyone else on here. I will sit here and type inflammatory statements just because I CAN and "it's the way I am". I will twist everything around and act like I really "can read between the lines" and think EVERY WORD TYPED after one of my replies is REALLY only directed toward me. Just for good measure I will make sure to superimpose my own rage and "bitterness" onto anyone that chooses to call me out on anything about myself. WHEEEEW!!!! that was exhausting...but I can honestly say after wearing that hat.....I can see where the amusement comes from...interesting but I think I WILL GET A NEW COSTUME...NO DOUBT. Ok.....I will apologize to everyone else as well....tee hee. But dang it she's been begging for it for a long time....I think I'll just chalk it all up to a "momentary lapse in judgement" or a bout with "second-childhood".....See, I didn't blame the media OR low self esteem there.....LOL>>>>>ok...that's out of my system. now watch as the "provoked" go for the "jugular"...lol....I can hardly wait 8^/ But I promise you all that NO MATTER WHAT I am not responding to our dear,sweet and very personal internet "imp" anymore(lol....you all can keep being "forgiving" of her mess.....I just had enough but in true "tatted-fashion" I "showed-out" with HUMOR not boring as sarcasm or lame attempts to try and seem "above" anything)

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  13.   smooches says:
    Posted: 28 Oct 08

    Thank you Chatty Cupid for the love! I try not to post unless I have something meaningful to say.

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  14.   LegalEaseII says:
    Posted: 27 Oct 08

    Hey Chatty Cupid: It LegalEaseII. How you doin? LOL!! Good to have your spirit back in the lounge. I hope to stay on the short list. Thanks for your insightful post. I would chat you up any day. I hope all is well and I hope your sister's big day is as beautiful as the love she has. All the best to you and yours. LEII

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  15.   Member says:
    Posted: 27 Oct 08

    You are welcome Copperlovely but I have to say I had to read your post 3x to make sure I read your age right. I'm gonna be like you when I grow up! You got it inside and out! Blessings&RespectXXX

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  16.   Copperlovely says:
    Posted: 27 Oct 08

    Thanks..ChattyCupid!

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  17.   Member says:
    Posted: 27 Oct 08

    Okay....so....bringing some love, peace, and blessings into to the room is...me. With that I would like to extend a sincere welcome to the newcomers and and shout out to the cronies! The thing I do like about this forum is that the expressions shared by individuals, especially the new folks, are THEIR experiences-"coming from where I'm from" You take your life, who you meet and see You take what you've heard and you share it with me It's what he or she brought that enriched you or not, that brought you to us It's YOUR truth, what YOU'VE got So... I just want to peek my head in and say it's a beautiful thing to have more boys in the lounge sharing their adoration, experiences, theories, etc. I for one, would like folks to come, hang out, chill awhile and share. It's refreshing to see new perspectives on something that honestly can be overdone to death, redundant if you will. As I help my sister prepare for her wedding in 2 months to a beautiful, tall, blue eyed, noble, sincere, valiant, ghetto (it's a compliment and an honor for him to be referred to as such-cuz it's true-he's ghetto as hell!and yet so classy!;-D) white knight in shining armor, I say...love finds YOU and will bite you in the ass and when it does count it a blessing. He loves every inch of her and can appreciate WHO she is as a single mother and a woman. Period. It delightful to watch love grow before your very eyes. There are whispers, comments, obstacles and they just plow through, having each others backs and come up swinging when they are knocked down. Together. I do want to say-and this is strictly my own damn opinion-unfortunately some stereotypes are true but that's because in every walk of life there is a cluster of individuals who went to the same "school of life" and think, walk, believe, the same way. Share the same ideaologies. So lets say there are maybe 1,000 qualities taught at this school. Some good, some bad, some just are. Either way, chances are there will be some who seem to gravitate to a few of the same "subjects" because it fits who they are and how they're made up. That may be because of how they were raised, what they were taught, or what they've simply been exposed to. Stereotypes apply to sexes, races, age-whatever the demographic they are sometimes true. No, we shouldn't put everyone in the same box but you sometimes have to consider it in certain situations. For example, I've been on forums and notice there are some people who can't help it... they are generally wound up tight, argumentative, hostile debaters, pot stirrers, instigators, judge and jury, like to hear themselves talk and they actually do it because that's their nature and there are other people like them who are receptive to this type of conversation and don't mind it. Some actually don't find it offensive because this is what excites them and gets em going. They can go back and forth all night long and hug when they're done. Am I stereotyping? Maybe. But it's true. There are others who are more layed back, easy going, listeners, considerate of feelings, enjoy the art of easy flowing deep conversation, appreciative of the diversity in experiences, takes the time to see what they can learn from others, accepting of what isn't their experience, like to smile and be happy&see others smile and be happy...these people gravitate to each other. People flow best toward who the have common ground with and sometimes it works sometimes de bottom drop out and you jus afta tun rung an walk away. It's okay. It is what it is. It ain't always pretty. But it is what it is. Some black women have class, some are trash, some are ghettofabulous,some stupid as hell, some stuckup, some racist, some confused-AND same said with white women. Same said with black men. Same said with white men. The color just puts a little different flavor on it. It still all the same. Now, when the opposite races are attracted to each other, they went to all the "same classes in the school of life"-no matter how different their history, it's a beautiful thing to me cuz the oppozittness (my choice of spelling) that society in general looks at sideways doesnt deter the attraction. Because those attracted to each other don't care about the color. The other things that drew them become more powerful and more significant. Nuff said. ChattyCupid livin up to my name-heehee! Oh... Shout Outs: Wuzzup Tat-much luv sis! RoChi-bless your heart-I know you mean no harm. Legal!Just doing your thing girl!Copperlovely-you are lovely!KennethMott-your words were appreciated by me and I get where you're coming from. Chronik,7lady, and Smooches-Smooches!!!XXX!!!conanld-that's why I've been away. but I'm back. love your vibe! my sentiments exactly.BeautyBeyondWords- and SanAntonioBeauty-what can I say?You're beautiful.rachel32love-aight girl!stand by yo damn man like dat dere! imagine123-do YOUR thing cuz in the end YOU ARE GROWN!!!and your heart is YOUR responsibility-it is counting on you to be loved and adored for real, kay?

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  18.   RockerChick27 says:
    Posted: 27 Oct 08

    ----- Just ignore this post people. I'm warning you! ----- >.> It's entirely possible to address one person in a general way (it's called sarcasm, my dear). If you insist on pretending that an apple is a grape, then fine. But find a better costume. "…The few that continue to use this place as some sort of "school-yard" for "picking on" others (EVERYTIME, CONSISTANTLY, WITHOUT FAIL....lol). . ." Seriously, you've recently only posted shit like this after my replies. ANYWAY!! I am not sure whether you're referring to the people receiving the comments or giving them. Since you're amazingly bitter toward me AND you've tripped about my supposedly low self-esteem in quite a few of your previous posts, I'm tempted to assume the former (because I happen to fall into that category). You know… I find it annoying how everything is blamed on low self-esteem or the media. And if the last bit is still responding to what I said then I think you misconstrued what I said. (Note the "IF".) I don't think we can have a civil conversation with each other at this point without inanely bickering back and fourth so I'll go ahead and say this is my last reply to you on this XD -RoChi

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  19.   tatted2death says:
    Posted: 27 Oct 08

    ok....since some seem to think the sun doesn't shine until they wake up...... I WILL CLARIFY..... my statement was made to ALL the ones out there who have posted here with the condesending, jump-on-em-out-da-gate attitudes (many read alot and only post a little). IF THE SHOE FITS WHERE IT and jog on. Having to be called by name at this point really is not really all that necessary, don't ya think (kinda brings to mind that "school-yard" I mentioned before). I have decided to keep the forum broad by including others in my reponses. Sorry if that doesn't make anyone feel "special".....but it definitely keeps it simple and less "charged". Say what you will....it's called MY perspective for a reason. Share it or NOT.....it's all gravy. On topic..... All the insecurities that are pegged on women of color are totally ridiculous. They usually stem from stereotypes that are picked up from a variety of sources. But it is so common to get sucked into the cycle that most don't even recognize that they are doing it. But then again maybe they do realize that (re)stating these stereotypes has an effect....Maybe they feel that it makes them seem "better" than those that do fall into them. Conversely I think most people that run into these types recognize their low self-esteem from a mile away and maybe THAT is the reason they get the "brick-wall" treatment many times. To all the women out there, if you are truly being yourself that will shine through and you will have few worries when it comes to dating or WHATEVER. Men are men and in all honesty they are not that complicated (in a VERY good way....lol). I enjoy that fact as I observe my interactions with testosterone-holders of the paler skin tones....lol. Peace and Blessings tatted2death

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  20.   RockerChick27 says:
    Posted: 26 Oct 08

    Conanld, pheromones can help explain why people in general are attracted to one another (not in entirety, of course, but somewhat). I’m glad to see you offering some scientific explanations. ;) As for the opposites attract… I don’t like how you’re implying that black women are the opposite of white men, but I get what you mean. In any case, we do tend to seek people with similar but very different genes from ourselves because it’s likely to strengthen the genes of our kids. I think about attraction as a chemical reaction, because we feel these things with our brain, which opperates off of chemical reactions. My goodness, tatted. I'm not "picking on" anyone (because we all know that's talking about me). I think I already established that I say what I think needs to be said. Sorry it's not always puppy dogs and rainbows and sugarcane. But, honestly, "picking on" them? Shwhere? Still wish you'd say it directly to me. Hi LegalEase!!! On a sidenote, I like hearing from this site. I can tell you that the overwhelming majority "vibe" I get at my college (and plenty places I've been and go) is "keep me away from those crazy black chicks!" and "I'd NEVER date a black woman!!" and it's annoying and depressing. I've said this before, but I can't tell you how much I hate(d) hearing "You're beautiful for a *black girl*" or "You're so lucky you have *good hair*" "You don't have a ghetto attitude" and all that jazz. And my fav, "I'm surprised you're not fat!" (Okay, so I've only heard the last one once.) Like I said before, preference is fine and it will be here even it it isn't fine, but it's tiring. Having a place to turn to where we're wanted is a nice change. (Don't get me wrong, I don't live in dreadville. The attitude is just so prevelant.) Later. -RoChi

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  21.   LegalEaseII says:
    Posted: 26 Oct 08

    Good Morning Everyone; Yeah, new people and fresh perspectives. I love it. First of all, I want to offer up a hearty Welcome to the new people. Also, I want to extend a WARM welcome to Conald. I have missed your heartfelt addition to the site. I am not sure if you remember me, I was the one who asked for your insight off site. We exchanged some emails and then we lost contact. It is great to hear from you again. I hope you grace us with your presence for sometime to come. Imagine123, I remember as a young woman in college, on a predominantly white campus, I (along with the other Afro women) experienced some of the same emotions and issues. We were also faced with Afro men "excercising their options" and not having too many white men open to dating outside of their color line. Although my parents never told me not to bring home someone of a different race, I know it can be difficult to navigate the collegiate waters. I believe college is a wonderful place to test your boundaries. You meet so many different people with varied backgrounds, you should make the most of the opportunity. Your parents views are just that, their views. They came up in a different time, there was not blog site dedicated to exploring the attraction between BW/WM, some things are changing and you can date whomever you want. You are young but there is nothing wrong with that especially in the dating arena. I know you understand that not ALL black men are like that, I have been in situations like your experience where all the men in the car were white and let me tell you that what they were "hollering" at me had nothing to do with my feminine physique. I did have WM friends who were great were deeply disturbed by my unfortunate experience. With their help, comfort and reassurance, I was able to put the event into perspective. Maybe since there are a limited number of "minorities" on campus, you can meet some of the Afro young men on campus and give yourself some experiences in the other direction so you will have more of a balanced college experience. In any event, this is a great place to gain some perspective and benefit from some of the wisdom presented here. Do not think that this is a place that cannot contribute to your decision making process due to your age. I wish you the best in exploring all the options whether they be dating, career or anything you deem necessary for you and I hope that we can support you in some of your decisions. In any event, welcome. I want to shout out my constants in this post, Hi Tatted, good to hear from you, I hope all is well. Hi Beauty, I hope your project is coming along well, I cannot wait to hear all about it. Hi Rochi, I hope things are well with you. Hi Conald, please come back to the site. I liked your post about the pheremones. I wonder why it is your piqued more likely than not by BW? Is wonder if there a specific memory which is attached to your reaction? If you remember the web site, please feel free to share it. In any event, take good care everyone and I will speak with you again soon. LEII

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  22.   rachel32love says:
    Posted: 26 Oct 08

    well i dont think anyone should get judged by skin color, you love who you love and thats the bottom line no ifs, ands or buts bout it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My boyfriend is the most wonderful man i know and hes white.5'11",pale/tanned skin,one eye baby blue and the other greenish hazel,chizzled body, hes smart and has his mind sets on what he wants.As for me i do my own thing you know, im not the type of girl who lives off of a guy, im INDEPENDENT,i am now and ill always be, i take care of my man, i cater 2 him and he caters 2 me and i will NEVVVVVERRRRRRRR be ashamed of him. we've been through people[mine and his parents] again and again saying we are not right for each but i know that they dont want us together cause of what their friends and family might say but thats all bullshit to me and it means nothing because i love adam and i would take a bullet for that man. my advice to all my beautiful, independent,sexy black women do not let anyone come between you and your lover cause their not worth it,and dont be ashamed of him if he of a different race ,ladies, peace and love, bye-bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (packer083 aka sexy beast[lol[jking, nt really iwas bein dead serious!!!!!]i think im blowin kisses ur way wat r u gonna do bout it)

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  23.   tatted2death says:
    Posted: 26 Oct 08

    WELCOME BACK, LD I agree with you in that the focus of this blog has been lost/muddled for sometime and the few that continue to use this place as some sort of "school-yard" for "picking on" others (EVERYTIME, CONSISTANTLY, WITHOUT FAIL....lol) have definitely caused some others to flee.....understandably so. I, for one, am still around (lurking in the shadows...lol) and am so glad that you (LD) have graced us with your presence once more. Your thoughtful, insightful and well-balanced posts are well appreciated by all, I am sure. SanAntonioBeauty......I totally agree with you here as well. Restraint comes with the wisdom (that sometimes DOES come with age) to recognize what is and is not really worth your time. I have never absolutely lost my cool in here.....although passions can run awfully high at times. I have said this before but I am just glad that a forum like this exists. And although we might have to sift through what we may deem as "off-topic", it is still wonderful to see that there is a place where one can go to discuss such issues......"internet imps" notwithstanding. 8^/ (as always) Peace and Blessings tatted2death P.S. welcome and thanks to inmagine123 for adding her piece (while also BEING HONEST about her lack of experience....not a bad thing, actually)...THANKS for the fresh outlook and the best of luck to you with your parents (YET you are old enough to start living for yourself; don't let opportunities to grow pass you by based on others' narrow views)....peace and love.

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  24.   imagine123 says:
    Posted: 26 Oct 08

    just for the record, i didn't mean that all black guys are straight-up idiots...i just meant many of the guys i've met. i have met a nice African guy, but i can't seem to like him like that. kinda makes me sad, but there it is.

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  25.   imagine123 says:
    Posted: 26 Oct 08

    i'm in college, a bit too young for this blog (17), but i just got to write... i'm both black and white (my mom's black and white, my dad's black) but i moved in with my dad and his wife (black) when i was a freshman and they sort of taught me about the dirty world of race and color. Before that I had lived with my white grandma and black grandpa, my mixed uncle, and my mixed cousin; i'd had friends that were both black and white, and my mom continually dated all types of guys. needless to say, when my eyes were opened, i found it hard to feel good about myself...mainly because i felt that i had no rear end, and to me, it was like, what's a black girl without a butt? but anyways, now i'm in college, and i've pretty much gotten to love how i look. i'm majoring in wildlife sciences, a "pale male" field, and i'm usually the only black in the classroom. in the entire university, blacks are definitely a minority, so we were hooked up with mentors beforehand. one of my mentors, a woman named Ms. Grays, took me to a picnic in which i would meet fellow wildlife/fisheries people. i was the only black person there. people stared at me. i felt extremely out of place. but now, i've talked to some white guys and have two friends, Devin and Mike. I really enjoy their company, and i called my dad, eager to tell him about making friends, but the first thing that came out of his mouth was "you better not bring home any white boys". this really hurt me, although i've already brought this sort of thing up with me. my dad says that he won't stop loving me, or won't disown me if i do marry someone outside the race, but that he doesn't want to see them. the movie "something new" really made me cry. and, i just decided i had to look some of this up. now, the reason i think i'm turned off by black guys is that all the guys i've seen (i haven't dated anyone yet) are straight-up idiots, always hollering at you from their cars or staring at you or trying to be all smooth. not one white guy has done that to me, and i appreciate that. i'm not some car that you can whistle over and hope to own. i'm a living, breathing being. now, this doesn't mean that i'm off of black guys. i've never dated, so i can't know. i guess i just wanted to get that off my chest. i hope that i can get my dad and stepmom to just accept who i like.

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  26.   conanld says:
    Posted: 26 Oct 08

    I’ve been away for a long while. It is the case that I have a number of interests, and I tend to rotate through them all from time to time. After quickly reading a number of the more recent posts, I picked up on a question was raised as to where did all of the prior male posters go? Well aside from the above reasons, there is one other central reason why I strayed, and that is the nature of some of the content of the messages being sent. I love to read about feelings from the heart, or fascinating prior experiences that people relate from their lives. This sort of content enthralls, and energizes me. It’s also very romantic and passionate as a bonus. I also like reading and responding to those who have questions that they would like to raise to others on this board. What I don’t care reading about is detached third person debates covering stereotypes, culture in general, negative vibrations, biases, and narrow mindedness, all of which are boring, and not directly related to the main topic of this discussion board. In my opinion (and your mileage may vary), this is a topic for a different discussion group. Even worse, are the personal attacks. Nothing will destroy the kind of desirable discussion more quickly than personal attacks, because it makes the environment unfriendly, and an unfriendly environment is not the kind of place where people are likely to share their innermost feelings. I suspect that I am not the only person disappointed and this might explain why some posters no longer visit the site. Change of subject, now that I have hopefully answered that question for those who raised it. I came across a very interesting web site that gave me some possible insight as to why white men may be attracted to black women, or why black women may be attracted to white men. It was a topic discussing human pheromnes, and the science of physical attraction. In a nutshell, this web site seemed to offer anecdotal and perhaps even scientific evidence that opposites do indeed attract. (Unfortunately, I’ve lost the link to it) In my own personal experience, my attraction to black woman is significantly amplified whenever I am in the physical proximity of a black woman. Could human pheromnes, be responsible for this? There may be some scientific evidence (for example) that women instinctively seek out men with a different chemical makeup from themselves, because it potentially strengthens the immune system of potential offspring. These are tantalizing notions to entertain. All I know is that on average, I am more likely to experience a sudden proximity related feeling of euphoria whenever I am standing (or sitting) within a few feet of a black woman than I am when standing the same distance away from a white woman. This varies of course, but on average, and anecdotally speaking, this seems to be the case. It also makes me wonder if there might be a connection to why so many (including myself) find skin color contrast so sexy and alluring. Aura is another abstraction that might have a tie in to the notion of human pheromnes. Many on this board have mentioned the aura aspect of attraction. Maybe all of this literally has a chemical connection! Of course, it cannot all come down to natural chemicals in our bloodstream. I like women who find me attractive and appealing. Black women on average, have been more forthright in expressing these feelings to me through their body language, both subtle and not so subtle alike, and that is very sexy! LD

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  27.   SanAntonioBeauty says:
    Posted: 25 Oct 08

    I can only wish some people on this thread will be more welcoming and less critical of others who are in the process of expanding their horizons. Of course, it is useless to wish here. Some young people need to speak their mind more than offering constructive advice. Once, age catchs up to you, one learns restraint and pick your battles. Lady, Open your heart to the possibilities. Chose wisely. Love openly. One more thing, have fun. It took me 52 years to broaden my horizons. I have been alone for all theses years waiting for my black prince to marry me. I have since found a wonderful loving intelligent man. He just happened to be white.

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  28.   RockerChick27 says:
    Posted: 25 Oct 08

    Smooches, I see no difference between someone being ignorant as a newcomer or as a senior on this website. I’ll put my two cents in regardless. Now, please tell me where I was out of line or wrong, because I think all of what I said was correct and called for, but I am pretty flexible in differences of opinion. I really think you’re saying this because you agree with or relate to what Lady is saying. Where was this welcome warning when I was responding to Kenneth Mott? There’s no way you can argue I was being more “condescending” to her than to him. Then again, what he was saying was wayyyy off and downright dumb. Don’t worry about offending me or anything, and I honestly prefer you to say my name when talking about me rather than doing what tatted was doing. Just know that different people have different ways of helping and supporting. I am one who believes that acknowledging one’s good points AND faults is necessary for growth. It is so hard to live life in a state of misunderstanding and unrealistic expectations. The key thing in finding someone is expectations in them… if their standards are too unrealistic, they’ll pass their “soul mate” up every time. Lady, Lolz, calm down. It is true that, in America, black women are marrying at the slowest rate. But this is not just to black men (who, statistically-speaking, still marry black women more than anyone else). You go ahead and do what you want---I am really encouraging you! I’m glad to hear you’re broadening your search! I am just cautioning you not to fall into the “white men are overall better than black men and everybody else” mindset and miss out if the perfect man for you is black and you don’t want to be with him because he is not white. My friend Josh (he’s white) is doing this to this girl named Sarah (she’s black) because he wants to have a white girlfriend/wife. It’s just heartbreaking. He’s NOT racist or anything (not that I’ve noticed), but you know how it is… As I said, preferences are fine, but what I meant is that they can get in the way when they are unrealistic or influenced by prejudice. I’m warning you that the mindset could happen. I’m just warning you because I DO want the best for people. I said it before and I will say it again---I’m not afraid to be mean or draw tears if I think it is best for the person in the long run. Good luck, deary. I’m really excited for you and I fully expect you to report back to us once in awhile! XDD Smooches, Thanks ;) You know, I already respected you but I respect you even more for calling me out directly. It goes along with what I was telling Lady; say what you think needs to be said. I know I may seem a bit cruel at times but I have the best intentions (……98.7% of the time >.>). I apologize to both you and Lady. I’ll try to tone it down a bit in the future. But you know me………….dot. Can’t promise success but I promise to try. -RoChi (Just to clarify, I am not saying “ignorant” in a mean way. I use it like… everyone can’t know everything and so we are all ignorant of some things. Nothing being held against anyone. They’re simply things that can be learned in life and they’re the things that make life worth it, yeah? Fill in the blanks, kinda. You provide the holes and life’ll fill ‘em in fer ya!)

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  29.   smooches says:
    Posted: 24 Oct 08

    Thank you Chronik, As I said before I wasn't trying to call anyone out. I'm just trying to make a new member feel welcomed. I have much love and respect for Rochi. She is one of the members that keeps this post going. Welcome and thank you 7lady and I hope you find what you are looking for. Just as I wish that we all find love and happiness, and to those that have found it much love and blessings. Lady just remember that you are worth being loved and treated like the queen that you are. I just wanted to say my thanks and give love back. Now I have school work to do Happy Friday everyone!

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  30.   7lady says:
    Posted: 24 Oct 08

    im sorry if i offended anyone. i didnt mean to. im jus going by surroundings and many of the black women im around are having a really hard time finding a mate. maybe its a deeper layer that i dont realize. at fisrt i thought it was status. but their are plenty black women with great educations and still cant find a mate. my best girlfriend is 32 and she just had her 1st baby. she wanted to do it with a husband. but life did not go that way. i am considering it myself because i want a child also. i refuse to try and "fix" someone up. i see many black women doing this just to say they have a man. they work all day while he stays home and play playstation all day. oh dont get it twisted i adore black men. i love the way they look and their swagger. but alot (not all, some,rockerchic) do not want black women. especially brown or dark brown. they will date you and want to sleep with you. but your not good enough to love and marry. so i jus feel like maybe i should jump out there and see what else does life have to offer. and no i definitly believe there are plenty black gentlemen. i jus want black men to start loving and marrying us. rocker i made that general statement because it is true that black women are the most unwed. im not sitting back making stuff up. this is very real. thanks for welcoming me smooches

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  31.   Chronik says:
    Posted: 24 Oct 08

    i said "her" as in 7lady

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  32.   Chronik says:
    Posted: 24 Oct 08

    SMOOCHES...that was a beautiful post. I love how you explain things. I too thought rochi was being a little unfriendly. In her life experiences white men have been more family oriented than black men. And I have heard soooo many other black women say the same thing. I know alot of black women that date white men, and every one of them say that white men treat women better and are more romantic and respectful and family oriented. I am not rationalizing anything. I am just relaying what I have heard from so many black women.

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  33.   Member says:
    Posted: 24 Oct 08

    Wow Rochi did you have to be so condescending? 7Lady is new to the site and to welcome her in that way?! First let me say welcome 7lady. I know that it took a lot for you to put yourself out there. I think what Rochi was saying is you have to be mindful not to generalize your statements. You have every right to start to look outside your social circles for love. Its not about trading up it’s about finding that perfect fit for you. If that happens to be with someone of a different race then so be it. You know it’s funny that I'm writing a response usually I just read the post. Anyway, I said that to bring up this point I watched the I Have a Dream speech by Dr. King for a school paper. It renewed hope with in me that we can live in a world where we don't have to be separated by race! That’s not what Jesus wanted and it’s not the message that Dr. King spoke on. I want you to know that love will find you just be patient. Also, yes some guys prefer a certain type of woman, but when love finds you it’s going to be just for you and will want you the way you are. I'm 5'3" and curvy and have dated interracially since I was 15. Every guy that I have ever been with loved or like me for who I am! So, just know that you don't have to fit into any categories just be you! We are all wonderfully and beautifully made. In conclusion I would like to say if you want to start dating outside your race you don't need anyone's blessing and you can be new to the experience no one can judge you! Lastly, I didn't mean any disrespect Rochi I'm just saying that we should support and uplift one another here. If we reach out to help another person we maybe able to guide them down this road with the right knowledge and dialect. Blessings to all and have a great day.

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  34.   Coopperlovely says:
    Posted: 24 Oct 08

    7lady; Don't sell yourself short. Men are men they like what they like...different shapes and sizes. If a man no matter what color they are doesn't like you for who you are, he isn't worth having. Inside beauty has move value. Outside beauty lessens with age.... I've dated men of different nationalities and they all have the same basic unrealistic expectations of women, especially the ones over 50. I want to ask some of them if they've looked in the mirror lately to see their balding heads and beer guts...LOL! We as woman are so much more accepting of them and their 'stuff'. Further,I am turned off by ANY man who says he wants a drama and baggage free woman.....and I do notice that black men say this a lot. it is an unnecessary statement to make in my opinion. It tells me that that man is a negative individual, and that's not the type of man I am looking for. In my opinion it speaks to their baggage. I do not talk to, or respond to ANY man who makes these types of statements. So my dear, if it's men of other races you'd like to date, go for it, but keep in mind that they are 'men'. Copperlovely

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  35.   RockerChick27 says:
    Posted: 24 Oct 08

    Hi LegalEase and BeautyBeyondWords, haha. Haven't seen you all in a while (but I haven't been posting either). Hope life allows you too to post more frequently because your posts are fun to read ;) Oh... confirmation bias is the term I was searching for! Who0o! -RoChi

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  36.   RockerChick27 says:
    Posted: 24 Oct 08

    Hmn... I'm not sure how you figured most black men don't want to settle down and have a family. And, just to clear it up, the grand majority of black men do not date outside of their race, just as the grand majority of black women do not. Just because you see a trend on TV doesn't mean it's a trend in real life. And please refrain from generalizing so heavily. White men are not one person, so stop treating them as such. Many men PERIOD will not like you, as many men PERIOD will. It's not as if switching from black to white will make the search any easier. You still have to find compatibility, trust, respect, financial support, security, and love, among other things. If you want to date a white man, go for it and don't hold back. But I'll have you know that it really bugs me when a person "switches" to dating another race because the former race as a whole is not good enough. Preference is fine, but ignorance is not a good base for it. -RoChi

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  37.   7lady says:
    Posted: 24 Oct 08

    considering they are dating outside their race

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  38.   7lady says:
    Posted: 24 Oct 08

    i am definitly consiidering dating outside my race. im 32 now and want family life. MOST black men seem to not want this. and further more they are date outside their race to the extreme. just ready to look at some other options. instead of pouting about black men. let them do them. i jus dont know how to go about it. ive always thought that MOST white men like slim and highly educated black women if they are going to date us. well im thick and curvy 5,4 150 with an LPN education from a working class background, i fig they wouldnt want that. i dont know....

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  39.   Member says:
    Posted: 21 Oct 08

    Well i decided to reply to add my 2 sense to this debate i usually just read and see what people are thinking about this matter I'm a young West Indian black woman my last 3 boyfriends where all White and i must say that they where all a way better relationship overall that i've had comparing to when i dated Black men i have nothing against anyone a person is a person no matter color social status or race and because i truly believe that i do not exlude White males nor any other race in the equation of finding my soul mate I must say this i prefer White males they are more attentive, caring ,loving and serious when it comes down to relationships especially the ones have dated and that myth about white men not "packing" totally not true lol Besides Black men date outside their race and is acceptable to society why shouldn't black women open their options in their such for a soul mate? Purely my opinions i assume but i'm entitled to it and the White men i'm either friends with or have dated where all great guys overall my other reason was to say Hi to the Italian guy that commented on this lol

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  40.   BeautyBeyondWords says:
    Posted: 13 Oct 08

    Thanks Legaleasell! Where have you been, Sugar? I haven't been able to comment too much. I have been extrememly busy. I am getting ready to launch my record company next year and trying to make the finishing touches on that. I am working on a lot of stuff.... I have a lot of things in the oven! I hope everyone is doing well. I miss everyone of you... Mr. Laurelton, I miss you too. lol..lol.. I will be up and running again real soon.. Hey Cupid Chatty and Jarita Hotsauce!!!!! HELLO... Rockerchick! Where's my Mackdaddy? lol...lol... Talk to you soon!

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  41.   RockerChick27 says:
    Posted: 13 Oct 08

    Using logical fallacies is your thing, eh? To name a few… ignoratio elenchi, proof by example, composition, hasty generalization… I didn’t answer your questions because they hold no merit. Thanks for posting the wrong statistics. I meant ones that support your claim—that black women don’t put white and black men on the same level—and not random crime statistics. You see, you used a personal example and generalized it to an entire race. That’s bullshit from the beginning. Before your question is answerable, you need to provide for me evidence that your proposition holds significantly in black (American?) females. As LegalEase said, it’s not racial, or at least I haven’t noticed it. *sigh* First you say that white crime is ignored, and then proceed to say that white people are mostly convicted in every circle. You give ONE example and account it to the whole, or a significant amount of the whole (AND your example is an appeal to emotion). Then you load the question. Your… entire post is a logical fallacy. As for the gay white men, a great question would be are they reporting it? They can’t do anything to the rapist unless the rapee reports it, right? Many people---especially men---don’t report rape. Shame is another thing. Pride is another. Fear is another. Guilt is another. Victims blaming themselves is a goodie. The fact that many people don’t much care for gay people doesn’t help, either. (I’m just tying the white rapists and the gay white men together.) As for us ignoring white crimes more than others, as you’re implying, you’re going to have to provide statistics backing this up. (we ignore gay white men more than gay black men or any gay men?). I donno… tatted mistrusts statistics a bunch, but part of my job requires knowing how to analyze statistics to see if they’re bull. So I know which ones to trust. Lastly, if you want serious answers, ask these questions on a more appropriate site >.> -RoChi

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  42.   LegalEaseII says:
    Posted: 13 Oct 08

    Dear All: I am sorry to have been out of pocket for so long. Duty called. I have truly missed the blog and would like to welcome the newcomers and say hello to old constant forces like Tated, Genandthem, RockerChick, I have been reading through the blog and must admit that I have a lot to catch up on. Some of the issues, I am happy to say have resolved themselves before my return and welcome all the "brothas" who has stepped up to the mike. First, my shout outs: Hey Tatted, glad to see you are still here. I miss your spirit. Hi Genandthem, it is good to have your spark back in the place and congrats on your impending nuptials and all the best to you and your Nubian Queen. CopperLovely, I hope I look half as good as you do when I get to be 60, rock on mama. Chatty Cupid, not only do I want to buy your first book, but I would like an all access pass to the lounge, it sounds like "THE" place to be. LOL!! RockerChick, nice to see you still adding to the pot. Beauty, you still are just that a beautiful sistuh. For everyone else, pleased to make your acquaintance. I appreciate some of the questions being posed, like the last one by Kenneth Mott. Hi Ken: I am LegalEase II and like the name suggests I have some dealings with the legal system. I have counseled women especially in the area of domestic violence and let me tell you the syndrome runs the gamut no matter what race, religion or creed. It is a syndrome. I echo Tatted's analysis and would like to interject that women who are abused have a myriad of other issues which lead them to idolize, make excuses for or tolerate their abuser. Some women are caught up in a cycle of abuse that has been passed down from one generation to the next, some have serious substance abuse problems which lead them to tolerate abuse and unfortunately, most of them have low self esteem which adds to the problem. As for the white male crime stats, I am not sure how to validate them as I have not looked them up. I have noted in my travails through the legal system is that there is no "type" of woman who is prone to being battered it can happen and has happened to women in all walks of life. I have stood with women such as lawyers, doctors, therapists as well as women who are housewives, domestics and the woman who works in the 7Eleven and they have all been abused. It is not why we don't hold white men or men who batter accountable it is why do these men feel entitled to abuse women? As for the gay angle one of the biggest secrets is the level of abuse in the gay community, it is horrific. Not to mention men who are abused by women, now there is a little known group. They account for a growing segment of people who are subject to abuse, exhibit the same symptoms and yet are handed a double dose of shame because what man wants to admit his woman beats the crap out of him. I hope I have read your question correctly and have added some insight into the the plight of domestic violence and not why "strong black sisters allow white men to batter them". I believe that is the real issue here. Black women who are battered exhibit the same symptoms as any other group of people who are battered. It is the same as your example, the woman did report her abuser, but what of him? How quickly did the system respond to her plea? How did the legal system handle him? How did his sentence differ from that of other races of men or situations you may have been privy to? Is he a repeat offender? It would be nice to see how that situation stacks up against some of the others you may know of. I welcome you questions and comments, if I have not answered correctly, please let me know, I would love to delve into this issue more. Thank you for bringing a new perspective to the table. I look forward to hearing your comments. For everyone else lets keep blurring the color lines. All the best, LEII

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  43.   Member says:
    Posted: 13 Oct 08

    to: tatted2death wow, thankyou for your comment. I admire your wit and candor.

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  44.   tatted2death says:
    Posted: 12 Oct 08

    I LOVE IT!!!! A man that ACTUALLY comes back to give the answers to VALID QUESTIONS (even if they challenge his way of thinking).....although the answers included "statistics" and WE ALL know how I feel about those...LOL. To answer your question,Kenneth there are definitely women out there that put men on pedestals.....Period!! They are brought up having little if any self-esteem and feel that anything done to them (by ANYONE) is well-deserved, regardless of the nature of the act. Yes, some of these women will be black.....but they will pretty much let ANY man, regardless of race, mistreat them....they are just "hard-wired" for this. But to address your point directly, yes there is a specific sub-group of women that have "issues" with white men in particular....they tend to see them as "white angles" or some other mindless schnitzel. They just have a very specialized version of that self-esteem issues. All that being said you MUST keep in mind these women are not very common (hence, being a "specific sub-group"). The kind of low self-opinion that plays a part in acceptance of mistreatment IS quite common...sad but true. People wear masks all the time and even those that seem to care very much for themselves ("getting hair and nails done", wearing clothes that cost more that most folks' rent, etc...) are NOT immune. As for the whole gay white male issue.....I really can't speak on this so much because as far as I know the white men I have dated have not "turned out" gay....but generally speaking I don't think there is too much ANY woman would have to say about ANY gay man......seeing as how they are on opposite side of the same coin, so to speak thank for reading Peace and Blessings tatted2death

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  45.   Member says:
    Posted: 12 Oct 08

    to rockergirl, I read your comment and i get the impression that you think I am either lying or over exaggerating. I am not. This black female did report the incident that is how I learned of it. The crime statistics that I am referring to come from a document called the uniform crime report. According to the uniform crime report white men commit 62% of the over all crime in the US. White men commit 69.9% of the violent crime in the US. White men commit 49.9% of the murders,are 71% of the rapist, 89% of the child molestors, 98% of the serial killers, 91% of the arsonist, and 68% of the aggravated assualters. There is no crime in the US that white men don't commit more of then any other ethnic group. I also noticed that you fail to mention anything about gay white men. You made no attempt to answer my question; you just asked me one instead. Why don't black women hold white men to the same standards that the hold us black men to. Why don't black acknowledge bad experiences when they date white men.

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  46.   Chronik says:
    Posted: 11 Oct 08

    thank you rockerchick, you just said what i was thinking. That shit was ridiculous!

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  47.   RockerChick27 says:
    Posted: 11 Oct 08

    Okay. I'm going to try to respond before geneandthem tries to kill you. This may be an example of---gah! I forgot what it is called! Francis Bacon observed that we tend to notice and remember things that support our beliefs and pass over things thst falsify them, though the latter happens much more often. Anyway, I'm going to need to see some valid statistics (and, trust me, I know how to check if they're bullshit) to support your claims. White men are reported more often for rape, and many women don't even report their rape, despite race. I don't know... maybe there is some kind of phenomenon where black women don't report rape as much as other women, but I'm going to have to see (replicated) data to support that as well. Back to what I was saying at the beginning, I think you have a premise (which seems like bs from the beginning since you're only using personal examples) and you're only noticing things that support it. Instead of asking why black women do this, why not ask why any women would? I'm sure the difference isn't racial. Fairly sure, anyway. And there are plenty of black women who are raped who *do* report it, I'm sure. What of them? -RoChi

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  48.   Member says:
    Posted: 11 Oct 08

    I am an a corrections officer, I have been in the law enforcement professions for several years now. I do not understand why white crime is ignored. Inparticularly, white men who abuse black women. I had a white supervisor who raped a black female correction officer that he was dating. This is a true story! Black women date white men, holding them to no standards when they date them. Why? I have meet a few people who were in interracial relationships. There were some success stories and some tragedies. If you are a strong black woman why don't you demand that white men love and respect you? there are gay white men, there are white men who are rapist and criminals; but they are ignored. Why?

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  49.   tatted2death says:
    Posted: 08 Oct 08

    LMAO...... from "jerry springer" to "The Steve Wilkos Show". Anywho... WOW, copperlovely......that is AMAZING that you are nearly 60....bottle that secret and pass it over...LOL. I agree with your reasons for dating white gentlemen; I have had the same findings. The last time I checked "men and women" usually referred to those at least 18 years of age......Any other definition would make it hard to sort of get to the root of things. Any one too far under that age just MIGHT have difficulty relating (i.e. not alot of experience to draw from) to subjects such as the one in this blog topic. Not saying that all underaged folk could not contribute but I think the site actually does have an age restriction due to this. I could be wrong.....maybe it is not so strict when you are only posting in the blogs. Anywho.... Peace and Blessings tatted2death

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  50.   RockerChick27 says:
    Posted: 08 Oct 08

    Chronik, that was not necessary. JAWG sounds like English is not his first language. Don’t be a douche. Durh. -RoChi

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