"How Can I Get Over My Ex?"

Posted by Lana, 14 Mar

Getting over my ex has not been an easy thing for me. I feel like the void he left is so hard to fill. Read my story and see how I am having trouble getting over him...

I Can’t Get Over My Ex

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We made promises to stay together forever, have kids and grow old in each other’s arms. Well, it turned out forever was just 2 years and a few months of trying endlessly to make our failed relationship work again.

I met my ex Angelo during my last year of college at UCL. He was 'my perfect Italian prince'. And within a short while, I figured out everything about him was different from what I got while dating regular American guys. Many friends tried to talk me out of it mainly because of our awkward cultural differences, but I strongly believed that Love is all colors.

In the beginning, he was charming, romantic, caring and a perfect gentleman. Did I forget to mention he was an amazing artist too? Angelo had an immense love for art and art loved him too. You could mistake his work for Van Gogh's or what’s that other Sistine chapel guy’s name? Ahh! Michelangelo.

As a matter of fact, we met after he made a quick painting of me and abruptly presented it to me while I was on a date by the ponds with another guy. My poor date got so upset and intimidated that he had to leave at the obvious scene of my mesmerizing stares at Angelo. Sadly, one day it was all over.

How could such an amazing relationship have gone south? I miss my ex so much it's killing me. But, I had to move on. And as I sit here reminiscing the old memories of my bachelorette night, hope you girls can learn that the loss of one’s first true love is not a hindrance to not finding another.

So girls, here’s a detailed account on how I got through a breakup that took me several years to get over.

#. I Gave Myself Space to Grieve

Many a time, people brush off that feeling of, “I miss my ex” and jump right into living their normal lives which often backfires when you run into that ex somewhere in the future. When I broke up with my ex, I cried when I felt like I needed to. I allowed myself to feel the - I can’t get over my ex - when I felt that way. Gradually my mind began to convince itself that it was truly over.

The grieving period for me lasted around six months. I had to move out of California and away from our circle of friends, take my time and get used to living without him. It was a necessary step for me and it helped me move on faster.

#. I Always Reminded Myself Why I Broke Up

Whenever I miss my ex so much it's killing me, and I feel that urge to call him up. Trust me, some days you will feel that way. I remind myself of the awful and sad reasons why we broke up. For most parts, Angelo was an amazing man. And I respect him a lot. However, it felt really sad when he constantly betrayed my trust and repeatedly cheated with his art intern. Yes, I was deeply in love with the guy, but as time passed by. I finally realized there was no way he was gonna stop lying and cheating. So I had to end it!

#. I Embraced My New Found Energy For Positive Growth.

With Angelo out of my life, I felt a new surge of freedom and personal awareness one you can only feel when you have no firm commitment to anyone. I was working out more often, eating healthy and thinking of how to expand my blog and so I achieved it, and soon I realized I no longer thought much about him.

#. I Stopped Seeing His Absence In My Life As A Suffering.

Few months after the breakup, I ran into my Ex’s new love surprisingly it wasn’t the intern, and although I felt the urge to tell him I missed him, I knew I owed myself some respect. She seemed nice, and although he searched for expressions and signs of jealousy as always, I didn’t show any. I didn’t feel bad seeing him with another woman even though he expected me to, I was happy he had moved on and surprisingly it felt peaceful as well.

#. I Gave My Heart another Chance

It was difficult but necessary. Most times, I felt the need to stay away from relationships. And that I can't get over my ex because of the hurt and heartbreak from that previous relationship made it hard. I will tell you - that’s not the right step. Although my mental gymnastics kept convincing me it wasn’t yet time to get over my ex, I knew I needed to.

I understood the state of my heart and I didn’t want a rebound relationship. So I waited until I was totally over him and until I found someone my heart really wanted - and not just a rebound.

#. I didn’t give him another chance

A few months after the breakup, Angelo came crawling back. But I already resolved that that chapter of my life was over. Now, it's important not to make the mistake of taking an ex back especially when issues that caused the breakup keeps reoccurring. Angelo cheated repeatedly. I forgave him each time. But I accepted that it was over and I intended to stick by that decision.

Now I understand there’s this urge to make him miss you and find out if you still mean anything to him. But trust me, girl, it's really not worth it.

We deal with heartbreaks and relationships in different ways. Even when you think you’ve moved on you find yourself asking questions such as why do I miss my ex girlfriend or wondering, ‘I miss my ex boyfriend should I contact him?’ I say the decision is all yours. However, if you truly wish to move on then don’t. The grass is always greener on the other side.

Read this article on how to talk to your kids about your ex’s new love.

2 responses to ""How Can I Get Over My Ex?""

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  1.   Tanandsexy says:
    Posted: 24 Mar

    You are a prime example of what many young ladies have gone through, after a breakup with their ex. I am doing just what you have done, by moving on and getting my life back on track. Nothing is more satisfying than having a peace of mind, and being truely thankful, for not having to carry a load on your shoulder any longer. Just like a commercial i always remember, this is something that is priceless to have, when it comes to your peace of mind and happiness.

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  2.   Praisel says:
    Posted: 23 Mar

    I love the way you talked your heart to finally believe it was over and then you found other things that got your mind busy and you didn't think about him, though each time your sub conscious mind tries to remember the good memories you had with him , that's were many people miss it, they don't want to let go of the good memories and because of that they keep having issues with letting go of their ex. Another thing you did that I love is allowing your heart to feel free and not react and show a sign of jealousy when he wanted you to and that will make him to keep crawling back. One of the things people need to learn is to being able to have control over their fantasies after they have build the world of fantasies in their minds , fantasies sometimes clouds our sense of reasoning and makes one a prisoner in his or her own world of fantasies. In as much as we want those fantasies, we should not allow it to enslave us, take out time to look out for the qualities we built in the fantasy world if it is there before we get in to it. one more thing is, if we learn to guide of mind by guiding our thoughts we would not fall into heart breaks.

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